


Jars of Flame

by MicheleBlack



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Alternate Universe - Retail, Emotional Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Demyx/Zexion (Kingdom Hearts), Minor Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Rentboy Axel, Sex Work, Sexual Content, Slash, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:28:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 88,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25885102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MicheleBlack/pseuds/MicheleBlack
Summary: All Roxas wanted was one night to forget. Instead he got a night he couldn’t forget - and remembering it changed everything else.
Relationships: Axel/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 118
Kudos: 117





	1. a little Axel grease

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Twilight Town and the fic that was supposed to be a one-shot. Instead I couldn't put out the fire between these two, they let off too many sparks, and soon the whole cinna-bonfire had turned into a full-fledged story with many more words for you to enjoy.
> 
> Major points to my alpha/beta WeakRevolution for helping to keep the fire roaring.
> 
> T/W - there are mentions of an off-screen death in this fic and healing from the loss. Please be aware and read accordingly.

**Jars of Flame**

_“Don’t stop moving, or the darkness will overtake you!"_ **— Axel, _Kingdom Hearts II_**

**Chapter 1 - a little Axel grease**

Roxas wasn’t sure why he was doing this. After all it wasn’t like he was bad looking, or anything like that - he didn’t have to _pay_ for sex. He was pretty fucking certain he could get it the old fashioned way if he really tried.

 _Except you did try,_ his thoughts annoyingly reminded him, _and look how that turned out._

Roxas scoffed out a laugh and shoved his hands into his pockets at the irony. There was a hole in his heart where the loneliness cracked open and threatened to consume him, but he wouldn’t let it. He was far too stubborn for that.

 _It’s just sex,_ he reminded himself. _Release. Another person’s touch…_

It had been far too long since he’d even been hugged. He used to love hugs. He'd crave them, share them, hell even give them out himself like they were on two for one sale at the fucking store. Roxas could have let out a laugh at that because it felt like that was a lifetime ago. As if he was another person - someone else entirely - who he wouldn’t even recognize now if he looked in the mirror.

Hayner had left him broken.

Fuck - Hayner had just _left him._

Roxas fought back tears as he walked down the street. He would not cry. He hadn't cried in a long while. Not since the funeral, and he certainly didn't want to start now. Not when he was going to...

Roxas stopped walking and looked down at his phone, the little dots on the GPS letting him know he’d reached his destination. A cold feeling dredged up inside of him. _It’s just sex,_ he reminded himself for the thousandth time since he’d typed his desires into google. _It’s not love, and it’s also not anything deranged. It’s just-_

He sighed, running a hand down his face. He didn’t have to go inside. There was nobody expecting him. He could turn around right now and spend the night playing video games on his couch trying to ignore the fact that Hayner wasn’t coming home. He was never coming home. He was...

Roxas took three steps forward and pushed open the heavy, wooden door.

He stepped into a front room that for all intents and purposes looked like an ordinary bar. The lobby was sparsely populated but the room was well designed - dark woods and high-end furniture that seemed out of sorts with the type of establishment it was. It even _smelled_ pleasant - like burnt cinnamon. Not nearly the sorts of smell Roxas had expected.

“Can I help you?” 

The voice startled Roxas out of the blue. He turned to his right and tried not to jump when he saw a woman with short dark hair, wide eyes, and a pretty smile standing there. She was very close - standing closer than he was expecting. He really didn’t know if he felt all that comfortable with her being so far into his personal space. She wore a sexy black corset with hooks up the front and a leather miniskirt paired over fishnet stockings and high-heeled boots. Her kind eyes and smile seemed at odds with her dominatrix-style outfit.

“What brings you in, hun?” she asked with a smile yet continued on before he could answer. “You’re cute. What’s your fancy?”

Roxas fought his cheeks turning red as he looked down at the ground. Maybe this had been a mistake… He chanced a glance back at the door.

“Oh c’mon, love,” the woman said with a knowing smile. “Nobody walks through the door without a reason. If you tell me what you’re looking for, hun”—she took a step closer to him and her voice lowered to something more soft, trying to be sexier, Roxas assumed—“I can make sure you have the time of your life.”

When Roxas didn't answer, the silence hung around for a beat too long and became awkward.

“Drinks it is then, hun!” she exclaimed, pointing him over to the bar. “Just to loosen you up a bit. Help yourself to something and then come see me so we can talk about your options, alright?” She smiled. “Ask for Xion - I promise I don’t bite… hard.” With a grin that could have probably stirred the hearts of every man and woman in the world, except for maybe Roxas, she turned her attention to the woman standing behind Roxas, clearly done with him for now.

Roxas knew a little about how this worked. Ever since prositution had become legal in Twilight Town, bars of this sort had popped up. They worked like a normal bar on the surface, with one notable difference - most had a one or two drink limit. But it was the rooms in the back that were the real product on offer, allowing patrons to order up anyone, or anything, they desired for the night. Rates and services were listed out on a tablet and you could select anything from a quick handjob to any of the more kinky services you could think of. Roxas didn’t think he wanted something super contrived. Hell, he was seriously thinking he should just head out those doors, book a massage and call it human contact-

“Haven’t seen you around here, bright eyes,” a loud and cocksure sounding voice said, causing Roxas to look up. He hadn’t even made it to the bar yet. “First time?”

Roxas choked and tried not to stare. The tall and lanky man in front of him made his mouth go dry on sight. His bright red hair was spiked and his eyes were the brightest green. He had these odd marks under them though. Without even consciously realizing it, Roxas took a step forward and started to put his hand out as if to touch them, investigate the odd purple tattoos for himself.

“Hey buddy!” The man let out a short laugh. “If you want it, it’s not free. Not even for cuties like you.”

Roxas got a hold of himself and swallowed. _What was wrong with him?_ No one captured his attention - even Hayner had been a gradual attraction - and now this rentboy, a man whose job it was to literally turn people on, had him going weak at the knees _on sight._

That was new for him.

“Hey - did you hear me?” The man’s voice broke through Roxas’ thoughts. “I’m free for the night if you like what you see.” He slowly maneuvered into a pose, or at least what Roxas _thought_ was probably a well-practiced pose anyway, his hips jutting out just so in his black leather pants and tight fitting bright red t-shirt - the color of which matched his hair rather than clashed with it. It was a sort of casual-sexy, with more emphasis on the sexy. “I’m not usually. Hell, I can’t remember the last time I made it down to the bar. I guess it’s your lucky day, sweet cheeks!” He smiled at Roxas. “I’m in the system under Axel - got it memorized?”

Roxas nodded. The man had a name. _Axel_. Even the sound of it was sexy.

 _It’s probably an alias,_ Roxas’ mind supplied, _nobody here uses their real names._ He didn’t even know if he planned to…

“See that pretty lady over there?” Axel reached out and gently turned Roxas’ shoulders around back towards the door so he was looking at Xion. The simple touch caused a shiver to run down his spine and his cock twitched in interest. _All he did was touch my shoulder!_ Roxas could hardly believe his own reactions, yet it was exactly what he’d come looking for - right? _It’s not a betrayal,_ his mind whispered as he tried to remind himself to remain cool.

Roxas licked his lips and nodded again.

“My, my, so nervous,” Axel’s voice now came directly in his ear. It sounded sexy as hell. He’s trained for it, Roxas tried to remind himself. “-just go over and tell her you want to book with me and you’ll be all set,” Axel continued, “that is, if you want to, of course. No pressure. I could always use the night off"—his voice lowered—"but I would prefer to spend it with a delicious cinnamon roll such as yourself.”

Roxas swallowed hard.

“Go on then,” Axel encouraged, placing his hand on the small of Roxas’ back and pressing him forward. “I’ll be waiting.”

In a daze, Roxas made his way back over to Xion. She smiled. “Hello again. That didn’t take long. Did you figure it out, then?”

Roxas nodded, taking a cautious glance back behind him. Axel was leaning into the bar now, looking almost bored and incredibly sexy and Roxas knew he was doomed. “Can you pull up Axel’s services”—he gulped—"uh, please?”

Xion smiled and passed him the tablet. “Here you are, sir. He charges by the hour, so select what time you’d like and sign the contract when prompted - it protects both us and you,” she explained, “everything else is self explanatory. Axel will do most anything, so you’re good there.” 

_Most anything?_ Roxas didn’t know if he even wanted anything outside of the vanilla box. Hell, he didn't know what he really wanted at all. It wasn’t like he was forgetting Hayner, it was just that he wanted to… forget.

Forget the loneliness that clawed at his heart like fucking acid. Forget going home to an empty apartment, an empty home, and an empty life. Forget…

Roxas glanced down and his jaw nearly dropped open at the prices. He didn't know how long he would need to cum - it had been a while - but he couldn't imagine it would be terribly long, especially with how turned on he was by a complete stranger. Not that he wanted to explode in his pants like a teenager, but he couldn't deny the possibility. He swallowed down his guilt and embarrassment and selected an hour - he might want longer but he would start with that. He was shaking slightly by the time he signed the contract, but he was here and he was committed, paying, and doing this.

Footsteps came up behind him. “We all set then, buttercup?” Axel sounded right behind him. 

Roxas felt his cheeks flush just thinking of the man _behind him._ He looked down at the tablet to hide the redness on his cheeks and realized that they were all set to go. He nodded again.

“Excellent! Let’s go then, sweet cheeks!” Axel’s voice sounded damn cheerful as he led Roxas to a door on the opposite end of the room that opened into a hallway. “Fourth door on your right,” he announced, leading them to a wooden door with an ornate metal number 8 nailed on it. He pushed it open with a smile, his green eyes looking brighter than they had in the bar lobby. “In you go,” he encouraged. Roxas stepped inside and immediately felt something inside of his chest release. The space was completely unexpected, but instead of taking his breath away he felt like he could breathe for the first time since entering the bar.

The room was spacious and homey - that was the only way Roxas could describe it. The colors were warm and inviting. A large media center was mounted on the far wall with a big screen TV and what looked like a video game system hooked up underneath. Roxas was surprised to see it there and his gaze lingered a moment longer on it before sweeping to the floor. The carpet under his feet was shaggy and soft - though he supposed Axel probably used it for shagging clients, so it had better be. A large four poster bed stood in the middle of it all, taking up the most space, but it looked inviting with rather soft blankets and pillows piled on top - not like a hotel room at all. It all worked together to give the space even more warmth.

It really felt like a real bedroom.

“Wow,” Roxas let out, his mouth forming a small ‘o’. There was a chuckle behind him.

“He speaks! And here I was thinking you were some kind of mute.”

On instinct Roxas shook his head.

“Oh, back to being nonverbal, I see.” Axel circled in front of Roxas and smiled down at him, looking into his eyes. “Cat got your tongue, cutie?”

Roxas shrugged. He’d been calm for a moment, temporarily forgetting where he was…

“That’s okay,” Axel continued, “luckily you don’t need to talk if you don’t want to. Body language will work just as well. I assume you’re open to kissing?”

And with the briefest of nods, Roxas found himself swept up into one of the most surreal kisses of his life. It started in his _toes_ and traveled upwards, wrapping his whole body in a cocoon of energy that was warm yet electrifying at the same time. His mouth pressed against Axel’s with a passion he wasn’t sure he’d ever even felt before and here he was experiencing it with a prostitute…

You’re paying him, of course the kisses are going to be good, his mind informed him even as he stood on his tiptoes to get a little bit closer, to feel those lips on his a little better. FUCK, it wasn’t supposed to feel this good from just one kiss. Roxas could feel a stirring in his groin. It was to be expected - no one had kissed him since Hayner, but usually, even with him, they had both needed more than a mere kiss to get them this excited. The guilt tore into Roxas, but he shoved it down - maybe a professional was the way to go...

“God damn, kid,” Axel said as he pulled away. “I knew I made the right choice picking you in the lobby.” He smiled down at Roxas. “Even if I only get you for a short time - you’re going to enjoy every moment of this, shrimp.”

 _Shrimp?!_ Roxas wanted to be offended but he also found it funny.

“Yes, _shrimp,”_ Axel repeated. _Had Roxas said that out-loud?_ “Do you see how short you are?”

Roxas let out a small laugh. “Nah, you’re just freakishly tall.”

A mischievous smile broke out on Axel’s face at that. “Not only does he speak, but he’s funny too! What’s your name, shrimpy?”

Roxas bit his lip - had he really not introduced himself? This was the man he was about to have sex with. In exchange for munny, no less. Surely he could do it anonymously using an alias, but suddenly that seemed so cold and cruel to do to this man who'd already made him feel so good with just a single kiss. “It’s Roxas,” he whispered. He couldn’t find it within himself to say it louder.

“Roxas.” Axel tried out his name. It sounded much better somehow coming from his lips. “Foxy Roxy, huh?” 

Roxas shrugged. “I suppose-”

“Nope, you’re Foxy - wouldn’t have pegged you down in the lobby if you weren’t. In fact, you’re so foxy I won’t even start our clock until you get into that bed with me. What do you say? A few extra free minutes just so I can look at you? So many other clients _wish_ they were that special.”

The mention of other clients was like a bucket of cold water to Roxas’ insides, but it was quickly warmed up again as Axel pulled him back in for a kiss, long and deep and solid, this time requesting access with his tongue, melding them together. Roxas didn’t know how long they made out like that for, just standing in the center of the room, but it felt really good and he didn’t exactly want to pull away. _This_ he could do. He could make out with this man for the entire hour, he could-

Roxas felt a long finger trace up his cock through his pants. He let out a surprised squeak.

“Mmm, you like that?” Axel asked, pulling away and gripping Roxas’ shoulders. “You’re so hard. How do you want to do this?” he asked, leaning forward to trail soft kisses down the side of Roxas’ neck. His lips pressing on the sensitive skin there, making it hard for Roxas to think. All the thoughts in his head scrambled.

“I-” he gasped out, “I don’t- oh!” he softly exclaimed when Axel found a particularly sensitive spot. The red haired man paused to suck there for a moment before lapping at the soft skin, turning Roxas’ knees to jelly, finally pulling away to run his thumb on the side of Roxas’ throat.

“You don’t, what exactly?” he whispered, looking Roxas in the eye. 

It was a weird feeling, Roxas decided, to know that this was fabricated, a mere financial transaction for sex, and yet to feel like he could drown in those eyes and stay there forever. _It’s just what he does,_ a voice at the back of his mind whispered, _he’s trained._

But there was a part of Roxas that wanted to completely ignore the voice.

“-you’re in charge here,” Axel was saying as he tuned back into the redhead’s captivating voice, “unless you tell me to be. Then I have no problem taking the lead, or playing Dom - we’re here for your pleasure.”

 _For your pleasure_ , the words pinged around in Roxas’ head like a game of pinball, lighting up areas in his brain that had been long dormant for _months._ “Yesss,” he moaned softly, “I just want to feel... something.”

Axel gave him an odd look at that, but it passed so quickly Roxas thought he might have imagined it. “Alright.” Axel nodded. “Get on the bed.” A long arm came up to point at it, as if Roxas didn’t know where it was.

He crawled up onto the soft mattress and sank into it.

“All these clothes will never do,” Axel said, moving to sit behind him. He reached out to rub Roxas’ shoulders, who melted into the touch. “Let’s take this off, shall we?” and with that he reached down to grab the hem of Roxas’ shirt and lifted it off his head in one fell swoop, exposing his torso to the cool air. “That’s better,” Axel muttered before leaning down to kiss the back of his neck. If Roxas didn’t know better, he'd say he was returning from a date, rather than paying for this all to happen. It was odd, strange and not at all what he had expected.

It was all infinitely better.

“Ah, _yes._ ” Roxas leaned into the touch, his voice soft but still audible. Soft lips played across his skin like a fine-tuned instrument, and he leaned up into the touch, the tenderness of Axel’s lips traveling though his body in waves. He’d almost forgotten kisses could feel this good. “More,” he moaned softly, “just, please-”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Axel said as he lifted his lips. Roxas almost whined at the loss. “This next hour is all about you and your pleasure - more you shall get.” His hand trailed down Roxas’ stomach as he reached for the button on his jeans, unhooking the silver button and letting down the zipper. Roxas’ felt his breath catch as Axel’s hand ghosted his hard cock through his boxer-briefs, the teasing causing the pressure in his groin to tighten in pleasure.

“So eager,” Axel’s voice sounded pleased. “What would you like me to do, Roxas?”

Something about the way Axel said his name sent tingles down Roxas’ spine. “Just, don’t stop, don’t let me think, don’t-”

Axel didn’t reply, instead he reached down and freed Roxas’ hard length from his boxers and started to stroke - a soft but firm grip that was clearly experienced. Roxas felt a moan wrench out of him from deep within his throat. This was divine - the hand on his cock delivering just the right amount of pressure in all the right places and Axel dove back down to kiss the back of his neck again.

Roxas felt something inside his chest melt away. There were no thoughts outside of this moment - nothing else he even wanted to think about besides how good it felt to have someone touching him.

To have Axel touching him.

He wasn’t sure how long the stroking continued before Axel pulled himself from Roxas’ neck and recaptured his lips. A searing heat built as they kissed, causing precum to leak from Roxas’ hard rod - he could feel Axel’s own cock press into his backside as they kissed. He tentatively tried to move his hand down, but the other man pushed it away, ignoring his own needs. Pulling back to gasp for air, Roxas watched as Axel maneuvered himself so his mouth was directly over Roxas’ cock, before they locked eyes and Axel went down - taking all of Roxas’ dick in one continuous suck.

The heat hit Roxas like a firewall - spreading throughout his body with a burning sear. His toes curled and his hands flew down to grab Axel’s hair - if the other man wasn’t careful he was going to cum like this. His body felt high and he didn’t know how long he could hold out for. It had been such a long time…

Roxas felt tears form in his eyes and the pleasure grew. He felt his balls tighten up under him, the pressure leading him towards orgasm.

“Oh, _baby_.” Roxas was almost modified as he realized the word he let slip and it took a small dent down in his arousal, just slightly, but Axel didn’t seem to notice. He pulled up, a look of happiness on his face as he traded his mouth for his hand, which continued to stroke Roxas.

“Yes?” he asked with a grin, “What do you want, Roxy?”

In a flash of a moment Roxas could think of many things he wanted, but none felt more important than letting Axel go back to sucking him. “Suck me off,” he whispered. Axel wasted no time and leaned down to take Roxas all in again and sucked hard, pace slightly quicker than before while his hand moved down to roll Roxas' balls-

And that was all it took - the rubber band inside Roxas snapped - his pleasure seeping out as he came, rope after rope of cum shooting directly down Axel’s throat. And the other man swallowed it all before coming up to rest his arms on Roxas’ chest, licking his lips until every last drop of cum was gone.

Roxas stared, transfixed, heavy and exhausted.

“Oh,” Axel sighed, running his hand through Roxas’ hair. There was a strange look on his face as he studied Roxas and his voice was soft. “Come here,” Axel said, rolling off Roxas’ stomach and wrapping him up in his arms from behind. Roxas tried to pull away, or at least reach down to tug at Axel’s own length, which he could feel hard against his backside, but Axel blocked him.

“Shh,” he encouraged Roxas, “you have about fifteen minutes left, and I think I just want to hold you.” Axel swallowed - it was loud enough for Roxas to hear. “I mean, I think you could use someone to just hold you.”

Roxas didn’t want to admit just how right the other man was, so he laid there, feeling frayed and spent. Axel tightened his arms around Roxas, holding him in place as Roxas effectively quelled his mind and just enjoyed the warmth tight against his back, the nose buried in his hair, and the feeling of being completely sated for the first time in months.

It may not last very long, but it was something. And somehow, that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are an author's life-blood ♥️ 
> 
> For more join me on tumblr: https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/


	2. punk Roxas

**Chapter 2 - punk Roxas**

The next time Roxas saw Axel was completely unexpected.

Not that he’d been able to get the man out of his head anyway. When he wasn’t feeling crippling loneliness or extreme depression, he was thinking and sometimes daydreaming about his brief time with the redhead - _who’s a rentboy, a prostitute,_ his brain would remind him, but it never worked for long. Axel had made him _feel_ again, and then had held him in his arms afterwards.

It was this odd miracle - like some strange fluke of fate that had given Roxas some slight respite from his emotional turmoil. It was pathetic, but in the past month the memory sometimes felt like it was all he had in his life that made him feel _something_.

He had thought about returning - requesting Axel’s services again - but oddly even just the thought made him feel guilty, like he was cheating on Hayner. But it certainly wasn’t cheating. At all. Roxas knew that and tried not to feel badly about it. It had been a business transaction of sorts - Axel hadn’t even gotten off, something Roxas only realized with strong clarity hours after he’d left - but it felt so much more personal that he just couldn’t risk returning for his own sanity.

Well even if he would only ever have Axel in his life for one hour of one night, he conceded that at least he’d gotten a good memory out of it. One amazing memory. One he’d cum thinking about more times than he wanted to admit - how Axel’s hands caressed him, how green his eyes looked as he sucked him off, how wonderful it had felt just lying in his arms.

Even if his sexual needs were back to being taken care of by his own hand for now, he knew for certain that he wouldn’t want to proposition anyone else - it was go back to Axel or forget about it all together and continue living in the shadows of depression and porn.

But the more he thought about the memory, the more it confused him. Their time together had felt more like he’d been with a long lost lover or a boyfriend than it had paid sex. So far off from what he’d expected the experience would be like. It was frustrating. And Roxas hadn’t even touched Axel…

“Oh!” a loud, familiar voice broke through Roxas’ thoughts, “sorry about that. I-”

Roxas looked up to see Axel standing in front of him, as tall as he remembered with his spiked red hair. Bright green eyes with those amazing tattoos beneath were burrowing into his own, like they could see into his soul or something. Here he was. In the middle of the grocery store. Holding out a shopping basket towards him. Roxas looked down to see that it was his own.

“Sorry I grabbed the wrong one,” Axel said, his voice in a bit of a rush, jamming his words all on top of each other as if he was anxious to see Roxas standing there. “I think this one is yours? I mean, I like bananas too and all, but I get more than five fairly regularly.” Axel looked down at Roxas and winked. Roxas flushed and quickly grabbed back his basket, glancing down into it. “So,” Axel lowered his voice, “enquiring minds want to know - what are you doing with five bananas?” He winked again, like Roxas had somehow missed it the first time, his smile bright.

Roxas’ mind played through several different responses, ranging from wouldn’t you like to know, to the truth, I’m baking a chocolate-chip banana loaf. Realizing he needed to say something, he tried to be flirty. “Stick around and maybe you’ll find out,” he said as he both blushed and tried not to wince - the line had sounded a hundred times better in his head.

The laugh that tore out of the other man wrapped him up like a warm tide. “That’s tempting, I’ll admit. You’re really cute.”

Roxas flushed even deeper.

“I know I never forget a face,” Axel looked Roxas up and down, “or a cock. Roxas, right?”

Roxas nodded. “Roxas Heart,” he replied, offering up his full name.

“Yes, I remember. Foxy Roxy.” Axel smiled down at him. “As much as I would love to stick around and see what you can do with five bananas all at once, I’m afraid I can’t today. But, and I know this is unprofessional, but technically you’re not an ongoing client of mine, and I would feel awful if I walked away and didn’t do this so…” Axel let his voice trail off for a moment and Roxas gave him an inquisitive look, “let’s just - can I just give you my number?”

Roxas sucked in a breath. 

“I'll give it to you, and you never have to call it or use it. I know I'm just a- umm, stranger- and this is really unusual, but I just want you to have it. If you want my services again, or something else entirely.”

“Something else entirely?” Roxas asked, feeling his heart jump up to his throat.

“Yes,” Axel nodded, “like, I don’t know, coffee sometime? Or just a good friend? You just looked like- You reminded me- Here, give me your phone.”

Roxas passed it over without thinking twice about it. _Coffee sometime? A good friend?_

“All set,” Axel said after a minute, handing it back, as Roxas blinked up at him. “It’s in there now under Axel Klinginger. I don’t know. Just - call me? Or text works too.” 

It was the first time Roxas heard the other man’s voice sounding even remotely unsure about anything and he didn’t like that it was there in his tone. But he also couldn’t guarantee he would call. He gave a wry smile. “Okay,” he agreed, mostly just to be nice. His head was spinning. “If I need you again I suppose I can do that.”

“That’s all I ask.” Axel smiled. “You’re really something, Roxas Heart. I honestly hope I do hear from you.”

And with that, as quickly as Axel came, he was gone, leaving Roxas feeling bewildered and even more alone than he had when he first walked into the store.

_Were rentboys prone to giving out their number to people they’ve serviced?_

_Maybe he’s just trying to build his ‘clientele base’,_ Roxas thought cynically, _Or trying to sell me drugs._

 _Or maybe he felt something else too,_ the voice in the back of his mind piped up, leaving Roxas with goosebumps and a cool shiver down his spine.

Not even Hayner had made him feel like that.

With a sigh, Roxas looked down into his basket - the bunch of five bananas stared up at him along with a packet of chocolate chips, a bag of sugar, pancake mix, two green apples, cheese slices and a loaf of bread. It wasn’t much, but as he added a cheap bag of salt and vinegar chips and some tomatoes to make soup with, he thought he could stretch it out until the end of the week with the things he already had at his new apartment.

Roxas choked on a small laugh at the word ‘new’. He had moved into this place over seven months ago when the lease on the two bedroom unit he and Hayner had shared had finally run out - he couldn't bring himself to resign. It didn’t help that he’d had a hard time making payments there on his own anyway - they used to split the bills down the middle. Roxas didn’t want to use the small trust that had been bequeathed to him in Hayner’s name to pay rent on a place he couldn’t really stand to be in anymore.

When he’d moved out he had taken Hayner’s things and locked most of it up in storage. He was using some of the small sum he’d received to help cover the monthly rental payments on the space. He ended up having to keep a lot of the main furniture though - their bed, the dresser, one of their two desks, all their gaming consoles. He’d splurged on a new couch after three days of not being able to sleep in their old bed and got something with less memories attached. 

Hayner’s family wanted nothing to do with any of his stuff - they had abandoned him long ago. And the small group of friends the two of them had shared, namely Pence and Olette, had drifted away as Roxas fell deeper into depression and started ignoring their calls.

Eventually they’d stopped trying. They barely sent text messages anymore.

Roxas paid for his small pile of groceries and started the trek back to his place. It wasn’t far - he was renting a small basement studio with a sliding glass walkout below a two up, two down at 1313 Blade Street. It was a far cry from the highrise he and Hayner used to live in, but it was big enough for him and the mostly white cat that came to visit on occasion - Roxas had named him Mickey because he had a cluster of black spots on his butt near his tail in the iconic shape. He would scratch on Roxas’ glass door until he’d let him in, sometimes he’d give him food and water, but most of the time Mickey would bring in his own dinner - dead rat dejour.

Balancing the bags Roxas unhooked his keys from his belt and finagled one into the lock. With a click the door opened, revealing a cluttered space that Roxas found he just didn’t have the willpower to deal with these days. He never used to be like this - he was always fairly tidy - but his energy levels just never felt up to anything much anymore.

Dropping the bags on the kitchen counter, Roxas started to unpack his small haul and tried to find a proper place for things before a scratching on the door interrupted his progress. Letting out a breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding, Roxas opened the door to let Mickey in - the cat happily circling around his feet once he was allowed inside, letting out some loud meows that demanded attention.

“Yes, yes,” Roxas greeted as he leaned down to run his hand over the cat’s head. “I missed you too, buddy.”

Mickey only had more loud meows in response as Roxas moved to fill a small bowl with fresh water for him. He placed it down on the counter and the cat attacked it like it was freshly caught raw tuna.

“Thirsty, huh?” Roxas asked with a laugh. “What have you been up to?”

Mickey only continued to lap at his drink.

Roxas managed to unpack the rest of the groceries before deciding he didn’t feel like eating and sank down onto the couch instead. He turned on the TV - a few hours of video games would do and then maybe he could get some sleep and forget for just a little while.

* * *

The rest of Roxas’ week was business as usual. He traded off many of his morning shifts at the punk-rock chain he worked in at the mall to try and catch a few hours’ sleep after yet more sleepless nights. The job itself was not difficult as he spent most of his time in the stock room in the back processing shipments and organizing new merchandise. Tedious tasks, but they didn’t require too much of him, which was a blessing on the days he would turn up in a sorry state. Plus the pay was above minimum wage. All he had to do was show up, work, and leave.

And to think, just under a year ago, he and Hayner were starting up their own business. 

All those plans dissolved the day he’d found Hayner in the bathroom, not breathing and stone cold. 

Just the thought crushed Roxas’ heart. 

“Roxas?” A voice called from the door, cutting through his thoughts. “Can you help at the registers? I know it’s not your normal MO, but we’ve got a line, man.”

“Sure,” Roxas agreed. He could work the registers well enough, and he wasn’t stupid enough to say no to his manager. Demyx was a cool guy who he really didn’t want to piss off anyways. Some of his confrontations with the other managers had gotten heated at times, and he really didn't need to engage in any boss battles. Those were better left for his video games. Still the idea of standing over the defeated corpse of his boss... 

Roxas nearly snorted at that thought even as he felt his heart sink - he’d seen one too many dead bodies for this lifetime. He sucked in a breath and turned toward Demyx. “I can help.”

“That would be great!” Relief was palpable in Demyx's voice. “I haven’t seen it this busy in ages. Usually weeknights are pretty dead but...”

Roxas knew. Normally he was hardly ever called out from the back, but on some days the stars aligned. He’d picked up a day shift on a random Saturday weeks ago, covering for someone, and he’d ended up being called out to the registers and spending the entire shift out on the floor. The next day things were back to their slow, yet steady, trickle of customers. 

“Hey, it’s cool.” Roxas managed a smile. “I’m happy to help,” he said, moving out the door, pushing past the sale racks and then the costume jewelry stands to get to the middle of the floor where the registers were. Demyx hadn’t exaggerated; there was indeed a line. His eyes didn’t linger on it long, moving to log into the register that faced the back of the store. 

‘ **08213** ,' he quickly typed in his code without thinking and the computer sprang to life.

“I can help whoever’s next!” he called, fairly loudly to make up for a general lack of true enthusiasm, pushing some of the merchandise that had piled up on the counter to the side so he could have some more room.

“Roxas?”

The voice sounded surprised but familiar. Slowly Roxas looked up to see Pence standing in front of him with Olette slightly behind, both clearly surprised to see him. He hadn’t seen either of them since Hayner’s funeral. He forced a smile. “Hi Pence. Olette.” he said, reaching out to take the t-shirt Pence held out to him. It had a picture of a dog on it that he knew was from Animal Crossing though he’d never really played the game himself. Hayner had though, and now the game was too painful to look at without remembering the hours he’d spent watching him play. 

It was impossible not to think about Hayner with the t-shirt in his hands and the two people in front of him looking at him with concern on their faces.

“How are you, Roxas?” Olette asked, moving up closer to the counter as he rang up the shirt. 

Her bright green eyes were intense as they took him in, and Roxas was reminded of another set of green eyes who looked at him with intensity recently. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind. “I’m fine,” Roxas replied as he tried to smile. He was pretty sure it was a weak attempt. “You two look good.” 

They exchanged a glance before looking back at him. 

“So, how’s everything been going?” Pence tried, “How’s KeyChat?”

Roxas felt his chest tighten, and he had to remind himself to breathe. KeyChat had been his and Hayner’s baby. Their very own business venture which had been nearly fully funded and originally set to launch about four months ago now - had things gone to plan. The design of their app would have filled a void in the video game world, and he and Hayner had had major interest from many eSports brands, with their most well known players all set to jump on it. But then Hayner had left him, and Roxas had all their investor’s contracts declared null and void. It had been too painful to continue working on their business every day when all it did was remind him of the huge gaping hole in his life.

Hayner had gotten the idea from a popular sports app, but instead he wanted to develop an app for eSports players and their fans to connect on one platform. Roxas had joined in eagerly when he realized that Hayner was deadly serious about the project, and for two and half years they had worked on it - together. It was supposed to be their ticket to better things.

And then, less than three months before the public beta testing was due to begin, all hope had been lost.

But Pence didn’t know Roxas had dissolved the company. After the funeral Roxas had started telling people he was only putting the business on hold, in his shredded, desperate hope that someday it wouldn’t hurt as badly and he could return to the idea. 

“I’m no longer working on KeyChat,” Roxas explained with a shrug, remaining as outwardly calm as possible, even as his heart pounded in his chest. Everything to do with the business had been put in storage along with Hayner’s things. “Clearly,” he added and gestured around with a dry laugh before looking down at the computer screen. “The shirt total is seventeen sixty-four,” he informed the couple.

Olette nodded and Pence looked slightly upset. But the moment passed quickly as he pulled out his wallet and handed over his card to pay. “Well, I hope retail life hasn’t been too bad,” Pence tried to joke, shifting his weight slightly. “We should catch up sometime, Roxas. Our numbers are still the same,” he said, gesturing back toward Olette. “We’ve missed you.”

Roxas nodded, as he tried to decide how sincere Pence’s words were. He sounded earnest enough, but if there was one thing he tended to be painfully aware of after Hayner died it was that so many people faked their emotions.

 _Especially Axel_ , his brian reminded him, _he’s paid to fake them._

Pushing away that unwanted thought, Roxas nodded. “Sure,” he said tightly, meticulously folding and packaging up the t-shirt, “we could get coffee sometime.” He deliberately steered them away from alcohol and lunch felt like too much to commit to. Though it might be a record since this wasn’t the first time this week coffee had been suggested. Axel’s offer had somehow sounded so much better to him.

“Sounds great!” Olette smiled. “You look good, Roxas.”

Roxas knew it was a lie, but he thanked her anyway as he handed Pence his bag. 

“We’ll set something up.” Pence smiled. “Just don’t be a stranger, okay?”

Roxas nodded and turned to watch as the two left the store together. With a sigh he ran his hand through his hair before turning back to the register and calling up the next in line.

Even moving as fast as he could to ring out customers, Roxas was exhausted and mentally drained when the store finally closed and the last customers were ushered out, a full thirty minutes after the store had officially closed. Roxas looked at the large pile of ‘go-backs’ that sat beside his register and sighed - they still had a lot of work to do.

“What a night, huh, Roxas?” His co-worker Sora’s voice came from behind him. “I feel exhausted!” The bright and cheerful tone of his voice didn't match his words.

Of all the people Roxas had ever met, let alone worked with, Sora had to be one of the most endlessly cheerful. Some days it was really annoying, especially when Roxas was feeling especially low, but usually it was endearing. Customers loved him, and he usually was able to make Roxas really smile at least once a shift whenever they were working together - a feat that even Roxas had to acknowledge deserved some achievement points. 

“Yeah,” Roxas agreed, beginning the process of refolding the t-shirts on the top of the ‘go-backs’ pile. He may as well start and try to make a dent. “It was busy.”

“Oh! Jars of Flame!” Sora squealed without warning. Roxas looked down at the band shirt he was folding, reading it for the first time, as Sora excitedly continued, “I love them! I’m going to have to buy that shirt. Must be a new one, since I haven’t seen that design yet. I can’t believe someone put it back. If I had seen it before now, I would have already bought it for myself. Start of next shift, that baby is mine! Mark my words. My boyfriend and I have tickets to their concert next month - it’s sold out, but we’re going! He surprised me with four tickets for my birthday. I invited my best friend, she’s as excited as me, and now I have one more ticket. We’ve actually been trying to sell it,” here he finally paused to catch his breath, as if only just realizing he was rambling, and he looked over at Roxas, “-any interest?”

Roxas’ heart leapt for a moment. He loved Jars of Flame and would actually like to see them live. He’d tried for tickets but ultimately the seats he could afford had quickly sold out and the ones that hadn’t remained were just too expensive to justify. He sucked in a deep breath. “Maybe,” he said slowly, “let me know how much you’re asking and the ticket details. You’ll have to remind me of the date too so I can make sure I’m not working that night - if I go. You have my number, yeah?”

“It’s in a couple of months,” Sora said with a nod. “I will double check the exact date and pricing and stuff. And you already gave me your number back when we traded shifts. I can give you a discount if you’re able to pick up my shift for me on my boyfriend’s birthday. I already asked Demyx not to schedule me and he said he would try to avoid it, but I just know Larxene will probably do it anyway just to spite me.” He winked and Roxas nodded - Sora knew how he felt about paying for things and at least if a discount came with a favor it wasn’t pure charity - as the store's overhead music clicked off and the backdoor opened. 

“Hey guys,” Demyx called out as he walked over to them, “how are we doing with closing down the registers?”

“Haven’t even started,” Roxas said with a sigh, gesturing to the large pile on the counter, “was dealing with the go-backs first.”

Demyx frowned. “Let’s move this to the back. You’re on tomorrow, right?” he asked Roxas.

“I am, but I can do it now.”

“No, let’s get out of here as fast as we can. Each of you take a register and close it. I’ll run final numbers while you two move as much of this pile as you can in those ten minutes, either to the back or on the shelves, and then we’re out of here.” He smiled. “I have a date.”

“How is Zexion?” Sora asked, letting out a laugh, and even Roxas felt the corner of his lips turn up. Demyx was forever chasing a man named Zexion - they seemed to have a strange on again/off again type of relationship that always left Demyx chasing the other man like a puppy. Most days it was adorable. Some days it was sickeningly sweet. Other times it was a bitter pill for Roxas to swallow.

But he had to admit the stories Demyx would tell of his escapades were usually pretty damn good.

“He’s good.” 

Roxas couldn’t help but notice the bright smile on Demyx’s face when he talked about the other man. It made him feel all squirmy inside - he _missed_ what that felt like. He really hoped one day the two of them would get together for good. Even though he’d never met the other man, he felt Demyx deserved someone who made him light up like that. He was a fair manager and good guy - Roxas often felt like the man could do better than working at some big box chain mall store.

If he had still been working on KeyChat, Roxas would have probably offered him a job.

“Well, you can’t be late for your date,” Sora said with a smile, before turning to Roxas. “Last one to finish closing their register is a rotten egg?”

“Oh it’s on like Donkey Kong,” Roxas' reply was terrible - Sora always seemed to bring that side out of him - but it pulled another smile from Sora. Together he and Sora closed the registers at record speed, even managing to put away some t-shirts before moving the rest of the pile to the back. Roxas would deal with those in the morning.

“Hey, Demyx!” Roxas called back to his office, “who’s register closed first?”

“Register two!” Demyx’s voice called back, “a whole forty-five seconds faster.”

“HA!” Roxas smiled, his competitive nature rising to the surface as he taunted Sora while they headed to their lockers to grab their things, “I win.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sora waved his hand, “I had to count twice. I needed those accuracy points.”

“Sure, sure,” Roxas said with a smile, “one point to me - mark it down.”

“Fine,” Sora said, pulling out his phone and opening up their tally list, “one point to you.”

“Wait, you’re actually keeping track?” Roxas asked, looking over his shoulder.

“Yeah!” Sora said, way too cheerfully, “I was winning last week, but you caught up the other day when you got those five points for extra t-shirt folding. Seriously - you best me in that.”

Roxas shrugged, but found he was oddly touched by the running tally. He noticed with his added point was winning - 32 to 31. “Why do you keep track of it?” he asked. “It’s just all in good fun.”

Sora shrugged. “Gotta keep life interesting somehow and I’m competitive as fuck. Plus I keep lists and stats for everything. Just ask my boyfriend - it drives him nuts sometimes. But honestly, it sometimes helps keep my ADHD at bay. And that’s worth something too.”

Roxas hadn’t known any of this, but somewhere in the back of his mind he recognized Sora had just shared some pretty personal stuff.

Later that night, when he arrived at home - Mickey nowhere to be seen - he grabbed a piece of banana chocolate-chip loaf for ‘dinner’ and curled up on the couch. He didn’t feel like playing a video game - somehow that would require too much concentration - so he pulled out his phone and scrolled GummiGram for a while. He’d taken himself off most every other social app since Hayner, and he’d pulled 80% of the pictures down from this one, but scrolling through an endless stream of other people's content, algorithmically curated just for him, usually settled his mind when he was exhausted. It wasn’t working today though. He just kept thinking back to seeing Olette and Pence. _Would they actually call or text to set up a time to meet for coffee? Did he even want them too?_

He wrapped his arms around himself and fought the sudden tears that stung behind his eyes, threatening to fall. He remembered the feeling of Hayner's arm around him. Hayner had never been as much of a cuddler as he would have liked, so he’d treasured every time they snuggled together on the couch. He recalled how their bodies fit together, Hayner’s slender arms wrapped around him…

Roxas blinked and nearly sat up. Axel was the one who had slender arms. Who had snuggled against him like they had been doing it all their lives. He looked down at his phone, which had fallen to the floor. Roxas must have drifted off on the couch and it slipped from his grip. Sleepily, without much coordination, he reached over to grab it.

‘Call or Text me,’ Axel had said - or something to that effect - three days ago, and ever since Roxas had to remind himself why that was a bad idea. But he was losing willpower. Just remembering how insanely comfortable he’d felt with the other man tripped him up so hard and fucked with his mind. He didn’t think he’d even been that comfortable with Hayner early on. 

But there had been reasons for that, Hayner’s reasons. Reasons and hangups that Axel probably didn’t have and Roxas had never really had before either.

Roxas sighed. One text. Just a ‘hi’. It wasn’t a commitment. Or even a proposition. It was saying hello to someone who gave him his number and asked him to text. 

The task felt like a commitment. An almost insurmountable one. Even though it wasn’t either of those things.

 _You paid him to sleep with you,_ his mind argued.

 _He didn’t even cum,_ Roxas argued back with himself, _and I didn’t pay him to give me his number._

He had no further replies for himself.

He found Axel’s number and opened a new blank text. He typed and erased ‘hi’ twice before a scratching at the back door distracted him. He set his phone down and wandered over to let Mickey in, filling up a glass of water for the cat to drink and bringing it back over the couch. The cat immediately jumped on his lap.

“What do you say, buddy?” Roxas asked the cat softly as he petted him. “Should I text him?”

Mickey rubbed his head against Roxas’ chin in response. Roxas picked up his phone and stared at the screen again. 11:28pm. Axel was probably working anyway. He would have a man in his bed. Or a woman, Roxas supposed. Is that what he would want from Roxas? _Did he even care if that’s all Axel wanted?_

The thoughts jumbled in his mind. Pushing it aside for a moment of blissful silence, Roxas typed **_Hi, it’s Roxas_ ** and hit send before he could think more about it. Then he clicked off his phone and picked Mickey up, burying his face in his fur. The cat purred, and eventually they both fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are an author's life-blood ♥️
> 
> For more join me on [tumblr](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/)


	3. an Axel to grind

**Chapter 3 - an Axel to grind**

The mall food court was loud. Roxas was on his work break and the lunch crowd was seriously out in droves. It was Saturday afternoon and all around him the different dining options appeared to have the lines backed up. Roxas never went to the main vendors though, favoring the ice cream counter, Häagen-DiZ, near the back, so the crowd didn’t delay his ‘lunch.’ He nibbled on his sea-salt ice cream while playing a game on his phone, both to distract his mind and to keep himself awake. It felt so good to sit down for a while – the late night and lackluster sleep on the couch had made for a long morning shift so far. His alarm had rung far too soon.

Staring at the screen, Roxas licked some more of his ice cream, the salty sweet flavor mixing on his tongue. Ever since losing Hayner he’d found his preference for sweet foods had spiked way up - where he used to reach for a bag of chips or pretzels he now much preferred a slice of cake or some ice cream. The sweetness helped dull the pain somehow, and didn’t remind him so much of shared movie nights or other shenanigans where salty foods were consumed.

 _Not just food._ Hayner had always been on the saltier side.

He had just reached the next level when a text popped up. 

**AXEL - 1 Text Message**

AXEL. All caps. The man had saved it that way, probably as a joke. Whatever his reason, Roxas had told himself that he’d fix it one of these days. He still hadn’t, and the intensity of the name, big and bold, matched how Roxas felt now, seeing it on his screen. With some trepidation he clicked the banner open.

 **AXEL:** **_He texts! Hi Foxy Roxy._ **

Surprised and stuck on what to say, Roxas typed out a few replies and then deleted them all. He didn’t like that he didn’t know how to respond. He reopened his game, needing the distraction, and played another level before returning to the text. A glance at the time told him he had ten more minutes before he had to go back to work. _Just as well,_ he thought, looking down at his ice cream stick - his ‘lunch’ was nearly gone. 

**_Hi._** He typed out and quickly hit send. Then, against his better judgement, he wrote out **_I do text. You’re the one who took forever to reply._** He stared at the screen and thought about deleting it all together. But then he thought about what he would have said if Axel were Hayner and hit send. 

He regretted it as soon as he did it. Axel wasn’t Hayner. He had only hired Axel to help him for one hour of one night.

 _One amazing hour that turned out to be incredible,_ his brain reminded him. Now was not the time, he thought. His cock, not getting the memo, twitched in his pants at the thought. His phone pinged.

 **AXEL:** **_Sorry about that. I just woke up. Had I seen this last night I would have messaged you back._ **

Roxas didn’t really want a reminder about what Axel was most likely doing last night, while Roxas had been hugging his stray cat on the couch, or why he was getting up so late. Licking more of his sea-salt ice cream, he set to type up a reply but the next message from Axel came in too fast.

 **AXEL:** **_I am glad you texted though. I didn’t know if I was going to hear from you. Can’t say that seeing a text from a Cinnamon Roll didn’t make my morning extra sweet._ **

Roxas felt the corners of his mouth turn up involuntarily while reading. He forced them back down. _Just what was it about this man that got him so excited?_

 _Don’t answer that,_ he chastised himself as he typed **_Glad I could be of service for a change._ **and hit send.

 **AXEL:** **_Lol. You’re a fun one aren’t you, Foxy Roxy?_ **

_Was he a fun one?_ Maybe, at one point in time he had been. He remembered being fun. Axel’s bright eyes flashed in his mind, as if daring him to say he wasn’t fun. He chewed on the inside of his cheek as he typed out **_Maybe. You don’t really know yet._ **He hit send.

The incoming text was immediate. 

**AXEL:** **_Oh? Then how can I get to know you?_ **

Roxas stared at the text as his heart pounded in his chest. He checked the time again - five minutes and he would have to walk back to the store to clock back in. He looked down - his ice cream was almost gone anyway. Sticking the whole stick in his mouth, he grabbed his phone and used both hands to type. **_You’re smart. If that’s something you really want, you’ll figure it out._ **

He sucked on the last of the ice cream when Axel’s reply came in. He watched it pop up on his screen.

 **AXEL:** **_I need experience points first._ **

Roxas snorted a laugh - not that Axel could see him - and pulled the ice cream stick out of his mouth, and slipped it behind his phone before furiously typing **_Was that a video game reference? If so, press start._ **He hit send and looked at the clock - three minutes before he had to walk back. He already missed sitting and he was still in his chair. He sighed. His phone chimed twice in rapid succession.

**AXEL: START**

**AXEL:** **_Usually I press X to pick up a weapon. Does that work for picking up sweet Cinnabons as well?_ **

Roxas sucked in a breath and bit the inside of his cheek before responding. _Was that what he wanted?_ Without thinking too hard about it, he typed **_You need to level up first_ **and hit send in a rush. Noticing the time, he slipped both his phone and the finished ice cream stick into his pocket and rushed back to the store to clock back in. His phone went off twice more, but he managed to ignore it. The store was busy for the weekend and it wasn’t until an hour or so later that he had a moment to slip it out of his pocket again.

The first message read: **_Will you Grind with me?_ ** Followed up by one sent a few minutes later when Roxas didn’t respond - **_I really do need to level up. I only have one heart._ **

Roxas’ eyebrows shot up to his hairline and his cheeks flushed.

“Hey Roxas.” Demyx stuck his head out his back office. “We have a delivery. Once you’re clocked back in, can you go collect it and sign for it on the loading dock?”

“Sure,” Roxas agreed, nodding his head, and headed toward the back bay. His mind was on Axel’s texts and the strange sensation of butterflies in his stomach, sparking something inside him to life. _How could he feel that way about a sex worker?_

_You really need to get over that,_ he thought to himself, y _ou don’t know his story. Just like you told him he doesn’t know you, you don’t know him at all. You also need to level up._ With those thoughts running through his mind Roxas typed **_Sure, I think we could grind together._ **

He stared at it. The pun made him laugh, but he frowned at the screen. It might be a little more forward than he wanted to present himself as right now. With a sigh - it really was a good pun - as he deleted ‘grind together’ and retyped: **_Sure, I think we could level together._ **There. That felt safer. He hit send.

Roxas knew sex meant something different to everyone. He had been the gay to Hayner’s bisexual, and the one to always push things a little more in the bedroom department. Roxas had loved to cuddle, snuggled and be held - and on the rare occasion when Hayner was also in the mood he’d indulged him - but he also liked it hard and fast and rough as well as all the flavors in between. He would have described himself as vanilla with a twist. But when he thought about it, he was probably woefully inexperienced compared to Axel. He’d only had a handful of partners, for one. For another, he'd almost only had sex when in a committed relationship - Axel was the only one for whom that did not apply. And had they even _had sex?_ Roxas honestly wasn’t sure if what they had shared would qualify to some people. It was all very confusing and made his head spin. 

_You’re not paying him to text you,_ he reminded himself, _and_ _he sees people for sex all the time, or he must anyways. He asked for you to contact him whenever you felt ready. IF you ever felt ready._ Roxas sighed, it was like Axel could see through him. Straight through his armor to where his heart was frayed. The one hour they had spent together had done more to heal it than all the grief counselors who’d tried to ‘help’ him. 

His phone dinged and he looked down. **_Sure,_** he read, **_is this game co-op?_**

Roxas felt a smile creep onto his face as he met the delivery truck. Pocketing his phone he went to help. There were four larger boxes and one was pretty heavy. The delivery man, a guy named Zack who usually did their Saturday deliveries, helped to load and roll them on a dolly back to the store. It was an easy unload and Roxas signed the papers before turning back to the boxes. He reached for an X-Acto knife and got set to open them, but not before he pulled out his phone again and typed **_What do you think? Welcome to Level 1._ **

Over the course of the remainder of his shift, they continued to text intermittently. Apparently Level One consisted of sharing very basic facts about themselves through puns and questions - a game Roxas didn’t even fully realize they were playing right away, despite their video game puns - but by the time Roxas got home that night he knew Axel’s favorite music genre was rock, his favorite food was ramen, and he was more of a cat person than a dog person. Roxas found it hard to keep his heart under wraps when every text from Axel seemed to show they had more in common than Roxas would have ever dreamed possible. He knew there was much more there was to uncover - they hadn’t exactly gotten very personal - but Axel was the first person he’d talked to in forever who didn’t know about Hayner and who didn’t treat him like he was going to break.

Maybe that’s why he made it feel like Roxas could breathe again. With Axel, the thoughts weren’t so stifling. He didn’t even feel that much guilt. Axel had just made it so easy to just… let things settle for a while. Roxas didn’t even realize how less stressed he’d felt the second half of his day until, at around six in the evening, Axel’s texts had dried up and Roxas found himself wondering if he was working. He felt his cheeks flame remembering how Axel felt kissing him, on him, next to him, arms wrapped around him. _If he was this possessive and they weren’t even together how could he handle it if they ever were?_

If that was even Axel’s end goal. Roxas didn't even know what Axel wanted.

 _One step at a time,_ he reminded himself as he poured himself some pineapple juice and sat down on the sofa. He took a couple sips, letting the sweetness coat his throat while thinking about Axel. His bright red hair. His impossibly green eyes. Roxas felt his cock stir in his pants.

Axel had awoken a side of him that he thought had died with Hayner.

Reaching down he unzipped his pants and grabbed a hold on his hardening cock through his underwear. He stroked it softly as it began to lengthen, thinking of what it felt like to have Axel’s hands on him. The thought made him stiffen even more. He could feel the heat from his dick, and already he could feel his precum beginning to ooze outwards, wetting the front of his boxers. He moaned a little as he stared down, trying to ignore everything else. He pulled down his pants and freed his cock from its tight confines.

He reached down and firmly gripped his cock, his entire body already feeling flushed and overheated. Straining up into his hand, he felt his cock swell as he ran his fingers lightly on the underside. With each touch he thought of Axel and had to hold back another whimper.

Clearing his mind of everything except how good his cock had felt in the man's hand, he found a rhythm of teasing strokes and occasional twists before reaching up to play with the head of his cock. As he swept over his head, he felt sticky precum collect in his palm. He let out a moan as he began to twist his hand around the head, his precum helping to lubricate his movements. The throbbing was becoming all consuming. He could feel it coursing through his veins and pulsing in his body as he pulled up his hand and flipped over onto his stomach grinding his cock into the couch.

Pressing himself into the soft fabric, he began to thrust, wondering what it would feel like to have Axel thrusting behind him - into him. _Or Axel beneath him_ , his brain fantasized. Their cocks had fit so perfectly when they had pressed together before. Adding the thought of Axel pinned beneath him and surrounding his cock to that had him as hard as granite. He surrendered to the fantasy and began to thrust harder, moving his hand to sloppily cup his balls, rolling them in his fingers.

 _That’s right,_ he thought to himself, _so fucking good._

Feeling the ache build as his body was overtaken by the vision of Axel, he knew he wouldn't last. Not wanting to make a mess all over the couch, he sat up and grabbed his cock - his hand was moving a lot quicker now. He could feel his balls tighten as he let out a moan as he came, ropes of hot cum landing on his stomach and black t-shirt.

With a sigh Roxas had to admit he felt a lot calmer as he sank into the couch at an odd angle and allowed his head to drop back for a moment. He knew he had to clean himself up, but he allowed himself one more second to enjoy the feeling of tension leaving his body, riding out the high that had just consumed him.

When he finally moved to stand up, something was poking him in the leg. Startled, he reached in between the cushions of his couch and pulled out the ice cream stick from lunch. 

He let out a laugh. It declared him a ‘WINNER.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They text! :D
> 
> I know this chapter was a little shorter, but stick with me - this fic is a LONG one and we're only just getting started.
> 
> As always, Comments and Kudos are any author's life-blood ♥️ I love all you amazing people who leave them - they really motivate me to write more.
> 
> For more join me on [tumblr](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/)


	4. between a Rox and a safe space

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A medical procedure means this chapter posted a little earlier than usual - happy reading! :D

**Chapter 4 - between a Rox and a safe space**

Roxas was surprised when two weeks later Axel was still texting him. It wasn’t always constant or even all day long, but it was daily and Roxas had come to rely on it - much to his own surprise. He enjoyed waking up and reaching over for his phone to see if Axel had sent him anything - and was only marginally disappointed when, like this morning, there were no new messages.

Thankfully, no messages also meant none from Olette and Pence, who - despite their promise to text him - he hadn’t heard so much as a peep from. _Good,_ he really didn’t want to have anything to do with them. Not now, after their role in Hayner’s death. 

There were even some days when Axel was his only contact with the outside world, particularly on days when he didn’t have to go into work. Texting him kept Roxas’ mind clearer and sharper somehow - and seeing his phone light up with every new message was starting to shine some light into even the darkest corners of his soul. Roxas had even found the willpower from time to time to actually sleep in his and Hayner's old bed for an odd night or two. An act which in and of itself was a small source of astonishment in his life.

It wasn't just that Hayner had left a hole in his heart, a hole that slowly leaked darkness into the world around him, Roxas was also still so torn between feelings of anger and heartbreak towards him. His grief counselor, Yen Sid, had reassured him that wasn’t all that unusual a dichotomy, and he had encouraged Roxas to try and feel the emotions and let them pass through. But Roxas found he couldn’t master that very well - he resisted each and every emotion that he felt and rebelled hard against them until he felt guilty and lower than he had when he started. It was all a mess that took a lot of his energy just to control.

But in the last few weeks - at least since last weekend when he and Axel had jokingly decided that they had “leveled up to level two” - there was no denying Roxas had felt more like his old self than he ever had since Hayner. It was a welcome change, but also a scary one. And on top of his unraveled inner turmoil, he still couldn’t figure out what Axel really wanted.

In the time they had started texting they talked about every mundane thing under the sun. They even discovered that not only did they have a lot in common, more often than not their favorite things were exact matches. There were the basics like favorite color (red) and elemental affinity (fire), but they even matched on the best breakfast cereal (Honey Comb). There was a weird sense of satisfaction that snapped together in his chest every time he learned of something new they had in common. It felt much like resetting a broken rib in his chest - the pain was there, but the healing was in progress.

It was on the fourth day of the third week that Roxas really started to appreciate how texting Axel had become as much a part of his every day as his job was. Roxas was heading into work - he had an afternoon into night shift scheduled - and was rushing into the building so as not to be late. He gave a quick wave of ‘hello’ to Sora, who was working the front register.

“Hi, Roxas!” Sora said with a cheerful smile. “Did you have a good morning? Decide about Jars of Flame yet?”

Roxas still hadn’t made up his mind about if he was going, despite Sora texting him all the details a week or so ago. The ticket price, even with Sora’s offered discount, still wasn’t exactly cheap, and a growing unease about seeing the band without Hayner had managed to creep up on him. He knew he needed to give an answer soon though. It wasn’t fair to his friend, who could easily sell the ticket for a lot more than he was offering it to Roxas for.

“It was okay, and no, not yet - I will consult my bank after this week’s paycheck and get back to you. Is that okay?”

Sora nodded enthusiastically. “Take your time. The store’s been kinda dead, but Larxene is managing today so-”

Roxas slapped his face with his hand and, not waiting for Sora to finish his sentence, moved swiftly towards the back of the store. “Sorry!” he called back, “gotta clock in.”

He heard Sora’s laugh follow him as he disappeared into the back room. He could hear Larxene typing away in the manager’s office and as quietly as we could, so as not to disturb her or call any unwanted attention to himself, he moved to the small machine that tracked employee time. **_‘08213’_ ** He punched in his number and watched the green light blink twice before turning to put his stuff in his locker.

“You’re late!” a voice called from the other end of the hall.

Roxas paused at the sound of the voice before quickly shoving his bag into his locker. His phone slipped from the outer pouch and landed face up on the floor. The screen lit up: **AXEL - 2 Text Messages.**

Roxas forced the rest of the bag into his locker and resisted the urge to dive for his phone. Least the screen didn't break, he thought to himself as he leaned down to pick it up. Trying to open his phone and stand back up at the same time, he found himself looking into sharp blue-green eyes that stared him down.

“I am not late,” Roxas immediately defended himself. He may not _like_ Larxene very much, but he wasn’t going to be intimidated by her. “My shift time was two thirty - and see? It’s just gone two thirty now, and I’ve already clocked in.” He clicked his screen on and held up the phone to show the time. The notification still showed but luckily she couldn’t actually read the messages from Axel-

“You know you can’t have your phone on the floor - put that away,” she snapped. A look of realization flashed across her face, but Roxas was too frustrated to notice.

“We are in the back,” he offered, “you know, where I usually work?”

Larxene shook her head. “Not today you’re not. Sora is my only person on the floor since Naminé called out. I need you out there.”

Roxas raised his eyebrows at that. Naminé never called out of a shift. She was an odd fit for the store, a sweet girl who was an incredible artist - her side passion for rock music the only reasonable explanation for her interest in the punk store - but nevertheless she _always_ showed up for her shifts. Even Roxas had only managed to trade shifts with her once, and he was everyone’s first choice when they needed to trade. He wondered what had happened – surely something serious had to be up for her to be absent.

Or maybe she had just called out because she knew Larxene would be in managing for the day - those two got along like oil and water and tensions had gotten higher in recent weeks. 

Roxas eye’d Larxene up and down. She was rarely in their location, maybe three or four times a month, since she worked as a regional manager for several stores across Twilight Town, but the days she was active manager were always memorable. _And usually miserable._ Demyx still liked to call her out for the night she had made him employ everyone on an overnight with her so they could do a floor switch just because she’d felt like it - there had been no new product or music launches. At least Demyx had snuck in pizza for them all at three o’clock in the morning. Not that Roxas had minded all that much. It had meant free pizza, additional overtime pay, no customers, and he didn’t have to worry about sleeping. But he knew that he was a complete anomaly in that. Roxas didn’t know how Larxene kept her job most days, but she did hold a higher position and knew just how to abuse it within the guidelines of the employee handbook.

Roxas realized Larxene was almost glaring at him now. “Phone in your locker - I don’t want to see it unless you're on break.”

Roxas sighed, turning back to put his phone in his locker. Axel would have to wait. If Hayner hadn’t left him, they’d be running their own company by now and no one would be able to tell him that he couldn’t use his phone. It was a stupid, archaic, old school rule anyways. Given half the chance he could improve the store’s social media image with one hand tied behind his back. Sora had been offering to do it for months, but corporate still seemed to think that functioning the same way they had ten years ago was going to continue to turn the store a profit. Not even Demyx was willing to let Sora or anyone else get anywhere near the accounts - "it’s not worth getting fired over'' he would say.

It was a fair enough assessment but Roxas didn’t worry too much about getting fired, personally. The store wasn’t his whole life. Or so he tried to tell himself.

 _There’s always Axel - isn’t he a part of your life now?_ The thought played at the back of his mind as Roxas instinctively reached out for his phone-

“Roxas! Floor!” Larxene’s voice shattered his thoughts. Reluctantly he shut his locker door with a loud clang. He walked through the backroom and angrily pushed open the door from the backroom to the floor - it clanged on the wall.

“And don’t break my door or my displays!” Larxene’s voice called after him as he moved onto the floor. He wondered if she would come after him for that one later. 

“She got you working the floor too?” Sora asked as Roxas came to join him briefly by the registers.

“Yeah,” Roxas said, resigned. “I’ll just straighten out the displays and run ‘go backs’ and stuff, unless you need me on the registers?”

Sora shook his head. “Not right now. Will call you if I do. Try to help people on the floor if you can though? I had two register stalls with indecisive shoppers this morning. I swear I don’t understand them. I see something I love and I buy it! Simple as that!”

 _And that’s why most people live off credit cards,_ Roxas thought, but didn’t voice it out loud. That was always Hayner’s thing - to be independent enough to never need to borrow money if he could help it. Every time they’d taken on a new investor, he’d swear up and down they would pay them back two-fold when they could.

Of course they never got to that point. 

Instead Roxas just nodded in agreement and turned to the pile of go backs sitting near the register.

The day was long, the customers plenty, and Larxene demanding. She must have even gotten on Sora’s nerves because by the time they locked up the store for the night he didn’t even bother asking Roxas about the Jars of Flame concert again or even trying to have a competition to close down the registers. He just did both himself. Hell, even Roxas had nearly forgotten about Axel’s messages - though thoughts of him had popped up periodically throughout the day. Especially when Roxas was putting away a couple gaming shirts - the sweatshirt with the controller and the words “HOLD ME” had brought a tightness to Roxas’ chest remembering what it felt like being wrapped in Axel’s arms. He’d quickly pushed the thought to the side but couldn’t deny that he’d had it all the same.

When he finally checked his phone after his shift, he had even more messages from Axel.

**AXEL - 4 Text Messages**

Roxas clicked open the screen with a small amount of anxiety - he couldn’t believe that he wasn’t able to respond to Axel earlier. That wasn’t really like him, and it made him irrationally angry and worried. He wondered if Axel would notice or even be upset. He looked down at the first two messages from earlier in the day. 

**AXEL:** **_Hey Cinnamon Roll - do you think we’ve reached level 3 yet?_ **

**AXEL:** **_Because if we’ve leveled up enough what do you say to a little real world co-op? Like maybe we could go to an arcade sometime?_ **

_Axel wants to go to an arcade? With me?_ The thought made Roxas smile, but then he read the next text.

 **AXEL:** **_Ah! Sorry. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea. I just thought since we’ve already met and all and I once suggested coffee. I needed to level up from there._ **

And the one that followed.

 **AXEL** **_: Hey Roxas - Everything okay? Even if you’re upset with me or something can you please text me? I need to make sure you still have all your HP points and didn’t lose a life._ **

Roxas stared down at the last message. His heart raced. Did Axel think Roxas was dead? Anxiety ticked up and his blood ran cold - he would not think about it. He drew in a sharp breath before drafting: **_Hi. Sorry, was at work and didn’t have access to my phone. I am still at full HP - well, maybe a few points were knocked off with the day I had…_ **

He stared down and decided he didn’t like the ending so he deleted and re-tried: **_Hi! Sorry, was at work and didn’t have access to my phone. Don’t worry, I am still at full HP. And I think going to an arcade would be fun - would mean enough EXP for lvl 3 at least._ **

Roxas read it twice through and hit _send_. He got a flood of responses almost instantly.

 **AXEL:** **_HE LIVES!_ **

**AXEL:** **_LVL 3!_ **

**AXEL:** **_GET READY TO GET YOUR ASS KICKED (we will plan tomorrow.) I gtg but I’m glad you’re not upset with me or anything. Later Roxas. :)_ **

Roxas stared at the screen. He didn’t text back but felt a smile creep across his face. A genuine smile. An arcade date with Axel…

_Was it a date? Could he handle a date? With Axel? What did that mean?_

The thoughts entered his head with a rush of adrenaline that felt like lingering excitement. He felt jittery the whole way home, but the good kind that made him feel like he could go for a run or something. 

Once home, he tried to push it all to the back of his mind or he was never going to get any sleep. He grabbed his controller and turned on the TV - deciding that he may as well put his new found energy to good use killing things that had never been alive to begin with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can't convince me that Axel and Roxas wouldn't both love Honey Comb - it's the most perfect breakfast cereal for them ever!
> 
> I love seeing all your Comments and Kudos ♥️they really make my day! Thank you all so much. I'm so glad you're enjoying Roxas' story as much as I love writing it. 
> 
> Join me on [tumblr](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/) for more


	5. battle Axel

**Chapter 5 - battle Axel**

Limit Break was the newest arcade in Twilight Town. It had opened less than a month back inside the same mall that Roxas worked at – he and his coworkers had watched them renovating the large space and wondered what it would be like. The three story arcade included pool tables, a bowling alley, all the latest video games, and even featured a bar and restaurant.

When Axel had suggested meeting up at an arcade, Limit Break was the first place that Roxas had thought of. They had arranged to meet there on Tuesday - Roxas had the night off and Axel had said he could be free as well. Roxas was curious but didn’t bother asking Axel how he’d gotten out of work. Maybe he could choose the nights he didn’t want to...

Roxas had heard about the arcade before it was even announced that it was opening when Sora had tried to apply for a job there. They hadn’t even put up a “coming soon” sign in the parking lot yet. But Sora’s grand plans of job transfer were dashed when his boyfriend was hired as a shift manager. At the time Roxas had asked him why. He'd been extremely confused why someone wouldn't want to work with their significant other - Hayner and he had been a great working team. In fact, their time working together on KeyChat was some of Roxas' best memories. The fact that Sora seemed so uninterested about working with Riku had felt personal. But Sora hadn’t seemed bothered by the questions at all - he’d simply let Roxas know that they had both decided that they probably shouldn’t work together. 

“It would be a recipe for disaster!” Sora had explained. “Not only would it be tough to keep my hands off, but we’re both way too competitive for our own good. No, no - it’s better if we just work separately.” 

Roxas had nodded as if he’d understood. But it wasn’t until Sora had invited him to the soft opening, enticed with the offer of a card preloaded with some free play, and Roxas had actually gotten to hang out with him and Riku that he’d understood - he’d always thought he was competitive but turned out he had nothing on the couple. Sora and Riku were both insanely competitive and would challenge each other like it was their one job in life - even if they did smile and laugh through it the entire time. Roxas had always thought he was pretty damn good at video games, but the two of them had managed to almost match his accuracy,  _ almost _ . Roxas retained the top spot, mostly because when he'd aim to shoot he'd shoot to kill. He always found it a good stress reliever. 

He was going to need it as his stress levels had been high all day. Now Roxas stood outside the entrance to Limit Break, too early to go inside. He leaned against the wall outside of the arcade and played a game on his phone to pass the time, trying to ignore the chill in the air. He didn’t want to wait inside the mall and risk running into someone he knew, and he also didn’t want to miss Axel, so it was his own fault he was outside anyways. He had no right to complain. 

He was lost in a new level when the wind suddenly died and a voice above him said, “Leveling up and starting without me, huh, cinnamon roll?”

Startled, Roxas looked straight up into bright green eyes and shocking red hair. Axel towered over him, a smile on his face. He looked even better than Roxas remembered him - his bright eyes and striking, purple tattoos underneath them almost hypnotic. Roxas could feel a smile slowly emerge across his face as he stared up, lost for a second in Axel - his tall, imposing stance in front of him blocking the wind and cocooning Roxas against the brick wall. “H-hi,” he managed to stutter out, thoughts swirling for the hundredth time as he debated the level of this once again - if it was truly a date - when he heard the character in his video game die. Without thinking he scowled at the sound. 

“Hey, hey.” Axel laughed. “None of that, Foxy Roxy. You look good. I mean, you are good. I’m sure you’ll beat whatever that game is next time...”

Axel continued on chatting but all Roxas could hear was “you look good” pounding in his head. It sounded sincere, and definitely not like the man said it a hundred times a day. Roxas fought the urge to look down at himself - he had been nervous picking out his outfit for the day. He’d finally settled on black skinny jeans, a tight plain red T-shirt - just to make sure he didn’t pick a band or game Axel didn’t like - and his favorite jacket: white with checkered cuffs at the end of the sleeves and bottom of the waist and a silver zipper up the front. The jacket hadn't been enough to keep out the chill while waiting around for Axel, but now he felt oddly warm and flushed under Axel's praise - aware of the scrutiny Axel had for his appearance and safe in the knowledge that he had passed the test.

“Thank you.” Roxas smiled softly again as he took in the complete Axel before him. The man wore a long black jacket zipped up over what looked like black skinny jeans. All the black just made his eyes notice the colors on Axel’s face even more. The red of his hair burned brighter. The purple of his tattoos more imposing and regal. Most of all, Roxas found the green of his eyes overpowering. He tried to look away but couldn’t keep away - Axel’s gaze was hypnotic.

“For?” Axel tilted his head. 

Roxas drew in a breath. “Suggesting this,” he answered, not wanting to go into details about how the “you look good” compliment affected him. Nobody told him he looked good these days. 

“Well then, shall we?” Axel asked with a smile, taking a step to the side and lifting his arm. “Lead the way.”

The arcade was noisy, colorful, and the lights from the games bright as they both moved inside and approached the desk to buy game cards. The man behind the register had his head lowered but Roxas still recognized Riku. He was hard to miss with his bright silver hair and imposing figure. Roxas drew in a breath, knowing Sora would hear all about him and Axel visiting the arcade before their next shift together. The thought made his stomach do an uncomfortable flip as he looked up at Axel who was smiling down at him. Riku would definitely think he was on a date. 

_ Was he on a date?  _

Suddenly this whole meetup felt like a date.  _ But how do you date the person you paid to sleep with you that one time? Even if Axel’s arms had been so warm and wonderful as they’d held him - even if he’d dreamed of it happening again... _

“Welcome to Limit Break,” Riku called from behind the counter, but he didn’t look up right away. Whatever he was filling out was taking all his attention to complete. “I will be right with you.”

“Hi, Riku,” Roxas said, stepping forward and putting on his work smile. Riku looked up from his work at his name. “Just came by to play some games.”

“Hey, Roxas! How have you been? Sora tells me you’ve been on the fence about going to see Jars of Flame with us - I hope you’ll be able to make it.”

“Jars of Flame?” Axel asked with a small smile that looked a little bit sad. The mixed emotions played out clearly on his face, but Roxas got trapped in his own thoughts and bit back a groan of annoyance - he  _ was _ long overdue to give Sora an answer. 

“Yeah, I only just decided last night I could go - had to wait for payday and all. You can let him know, and I will be sure to tell him next time I see him,” Roxas said, making the story up on the spot, offering what he hoped was a reassuring response. And hoped that he would have enough to cover the ticket cost. But even if it meant that he had to eat Instant Ramen for a week or three he would survive - it was worth it to save face in front of Axel and to see Riku look genuinely happy about him being able to go. Roxas suddenly felt like he couldn’t wait to tell Sora - he knew he would be thrilled too.

“Oi! Awesome! It’s going to be so much fun!” Riku sounded genuinely excited. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Axel,” Roxas introduced. “Axel, meet Riku, my coworker Sora’s boyfriend.”

“Nice to meet you, Riku.”

“Nice to meet you too.” Riku smiled, looking back and forth between them. “So how can I help you guys?”

“Two game cards, please,” Axel said, looking up at the board before turning towards Roxas, “unless you want to splurge on the 500 credits and split it?”

“Sure, we can do that,” Roxas agreed, shaking out of his thoughts. “How much is that?” he asked.

“Manager’s special,” Riku said a little too enthusiastically as he handed them a game card. “Here you are - 500 credits, preloaded. Have fun.”

“But-” Roxas tried to protest. He didn’t want to be a charity case.

“Don’t worry about it - just buy some drinks or food or something from the bar, okay?” Riku said with a wave of his hand.

“This is awesome, but you really don’t have to do that,” Axel said. Hearing reluctance from the red-haired man surprised Roxas a little, though he wasn't entirely sure why.

“Seriously, it’s a few gaming credits. Just, use them and have a good time. I’ll see you guys later." Riku smiled before turning back to whatever he was working on when they walked in.

They moved into the arcade but not before Roxas stammered out a quick thank you. He thought he saw Riku watch them as they walked away.  _ Oh yeah, he totally thinks I am out on a date,  _ he thought,  _ He’s probably texting Sora right now. _

“So what do you want to play first?” Axel asked, breaking Roxas' train of thought, as he looked around the main arcade floor. Roxas chuckled as he watched Axel's eyes sweep the space, taking in the flashing lights and sounds that called from every direction. There was a wall lined with games like pinball and Skee-ball, while virtual reality games seemed to be on the other side. Racing and shooting games were clustered towards the middle. Without really thinking about it, Roxas walked them over to the Skee-ball lanes.

“Skee-ball?” Axel asked with a confused look in his eyes but a smile on his face. Roxas thought he looked adorable and tried not to let the thought drive him to do something he’d regret later.  _ Like sleep with the man who made his living sleeping with people. _ He cringed at his own thoughts. He really didn't want to think about any of that right now.

“A nice warm up game” — Roxas smiled his sweetest smile—“unless you aren’t any good.”

Axel’s determination shone on his face, confirming that the challenge was on. Roxas swiped their card to start both of their games. He took the first ball and aimed for the hundred-point hole - all while trying not to think about _ balls and holes -  _ and landed eight of the ten he threw, crushing Axel by several hundred points.

“Damn, why didn’t you tell me you’re the Skee-ball Master?” Axel groaned when he saw the differences in their scores.

Roxas shrugged. “Would you believe me if I said I'm good at aiming my balls at holes?”

Axel’s frown turned into a bright laugh and his eyes lit up. “Oh it’s so on, sweet cheeks - rematch and we’ll see just who’s better at that!”

Roxas smiled and flushed at not only the dirty joke but that particular nickname as well - it wasn't one of the ones he considered Axel's common ones for him. In fact, Axel hadn't called him that since Roxas was following the man to his room on the night they had met. But turned out the immediate rematch ended up being another round of Skee-ball and he once again walked away victorious.

“Damn, okay, time to find something to kick your ass in, sweet cheeks,” Axel said, trying to look serious but he couldn't hide his smile or the brightness in his green eyes. _Or I can just continue to manhandle your ass, Axel,_ he thought to himself. Roxas tried not to think too hard about Axel and his ass in the same sentence. As they walked around the floor, it wasn’t easy to ignore the effect this man was having on him, since every one of Axel’s nicknames for him seemed to set off sparks throughout his body – a sensation not unlike butterflies but warmer. They made about a full circle on the floor before something caught Axel’s eye. 

“What about we try that new racing game - D.I. Racing?”

“Sure,” Roxas shrugged, following Axel over to the racing game where he mounted one of the fake motorcycle platforms. Roxas’ view was perfect - couldn’t help but admire Axel’s ass as he sat down. 

“You coming, buttercup?” Axel smirked playfully, turning around to look at him. “I’d offer you a seat on my ride,” he said cheekily, “but this bike’s only for one. Luckily, I have another one right here.” He patted the empty one beside him while giving Roxas a long look. 

As Roxas sat down, he tried to determine how much of what Axel was saying was purely for fun or if he was flirting.  _ Was it genuine? Special? _ As he swiped their game card, he wondered what the other man was thinking, but the race began and it stopped all his trains of thought.

They played on the hardest level and Axel did beat Roxas - even if it was just by a couple of seconds. Roxas was going to challenge him to a rematch but didn’t feel like sitting on the motorcycle-racer-bike anymore, so he suggested they walk around some more.

The arcade was loud and decently crowded, so they didn’t really talk much over the noise as they maneuvered around the various games, their bright lights and sounds begging for passersby to stop and play. Roxas decided, however, that he rather liked their quiet companionship as they walked the floor together. It was nice to not have to say much and still be comfortable with the person he was with. If he was able to ignore most of his uneasy thoughts, he felt more relaxed at Axel’s side than he had in ages. It felt much like when they texted, actually. Roxas didn’t know when he’d started relying on Axel’s messages, but he found he’d really come to look forward to their banter - even if it was sometimes about nothing all that important at all.

When he’d started dating Hayner, there was no build up. No awkward dates or anything like that. They had been friends and then one day Hayner kissed him and suddenly they were more. Sure there had been some hurdles to get over, but it wasn’t like they’d had to learn about each other from scratch. With Axel though, each new tidbit of information he learned about the other man felt like a small treasure Roxas had unearthed beneath the sand. Like a treasure hunt on a long beach that he’d barely traversed-

Axel grabbed his arm, yanking him back to the present. “C’mon - they have the new dancing game!” he said, rushing over to the wall of four machines, which were all connected for dance battles. “I watched some videos online after they released this, and I’ve been wanting to try.”

Roxas bit his lip - he hadn’t played a dancing game in ages.  _ Not since… _

“Pick a song, bright eyes!” Axel called. He’d already swiped their card, but when he turned back around to see Roxas’ face Axel moved to the edge of the dance platform and stepped back down. “Hey,” he asked Roxas, moving in close, green eyes full of concern, “everything okay?”

Roxas felt like he could barely breathe, his chest was so tight and his eyes stung briefly, but he swallowed it all down. “Yeah,” he said with a forced smile, “I’m fine. Let’s do this, shall we?”

Axel nodded and his smile returned, but the concern didn’t leave his eyes. Roxas felt oddly comforted, but also slightly nervous as he stepped up onto the platform and loaded up a favorite song.

In the end Roxas crushed the dance battle. 

He may not have danced in a long time, but the footwork came rather naturally to him. Following the lights and the music and the intricate steps he didn’t even realize when Axel stopped moving entirely and turned just to watch him. In fact he had a few bystanders forming around to watch as well. When the song came to an end and declared his grade an “A” it was like he’d come out of a trance.

“Damn, Roxy!” Axel’s voice sounded very impressed, “You’re incredible. I don’t think I could do that even with years of practice.”

Roxas felt the blush deep on his cheeks. “It’s no big deal. I am sure there are games you're good at that I’m not.”

“But that’s talent,” Axel insisted. “And sure, there’s video games I love to play but this is-”

“Let’s try a shooter game,” Roxas interrupted, his face feeling hot from the praise, “know a good one?”

Axel’s sly smile in response made Roxas blush as they made their way over to the first person shooters. They spent the next hour playing various games together - they shot at zombies, eliminated aliens, and obliterated robots respectively in three different games. Axel won two out of the three - but only marginally, by managing to live slightly longer than Roxas. And they found they made an especially good team when taking down the aliens.

When they finally set down their final game’s guns, Axel turned to Roxas and asked, “How about air hockey, next? Or something where I can watch you some more?”

Roxas wasn't sure if the rapidly growing fire in his chest was from the fact Axel wanted to watch him or the fact that he found himself sneaking glances at Axel while playing.  _ That’s why Axel won twice,  _ he tried to convince himself,  _ you were too distracted and lost accuracy. _

“How about we get some food or a drink or something and sit down for a little bit?” Roxas suggested, hoping a little alcohol would calm his steadily rising nerves. The longer the date/not date went on the more comfortable he was feeling, but with that came the odd jitters and a feeling in his chest he didn’t want to name.

“Sure,” Axel smiled.

They found an open high top near the bar. Axel was so tall he could just sit down which made Roxas try not to blush as he pushed himself up onto the chair. Axel just looked so at-ease it was easy to fall into the feeling - it really felt like they were old friends or something. It was a little off-putting since they hadn’t actually known each other long, but it also made it easy to forget everything else.

A waitress approached their table with a smile, handing over some menus. “Hi guys, welcome.” Roxas’ caught her name tag, which read Tifa. “Can I get you two anything to start?” 

“A Killer Queen IPA, please,” Roxas ordered - he remembered it was one of his favorite beers from the time he’d visited with Sora and Riku.

“Of course”—Tifa looked at Axel—“And for you, handsome?”

Roxas tried to ignore the tightness in his stomach as she called Axel handsome. 

“I’ll have the same,” Axel said, but instead of looking at her, he smiled across the table, looking right at Roxas.

“Alright, coming right up. I’ll give you two a minute to look over the menu.” Tifa turned away, leaving the two of them to look at each other. Axel took the opportunity to pop open the menu and study it for a minute, which gave Roxas a moment more to admire the man in front of him. Now that they were closer to the same height, he could look more directly into Axel’s eyes and not feel like he was drowning under his gaze…

“Huge menu they have here - do you want to order anything?” 

Roxas shrugged. “If you want to. Anything sound good?”

“Spicy hot chicken wings,” Axel said, shutting the menu, “and a basket of crispy fries.”

Roxas raised his eyebrows.

“I like things hot and spicy,” Axel said, leaning back, “we’ve already covered this.”

And they had, in one of their various text sessions on food they liked. Axel had talked about liking spicy foods along with his affinity for fire - Roxas had teasingly accused him of being a pyromaniac at heart. 

“But you also like things soft and sweet,” Roxas couldn’t help but tease. He was surprised how natural it felt.

“You know it, cinnamon roll.” Axel smiled.

That was followed by a prolonged silence, where Roxas simply sat there, nodding and smiling shyly, before Tifa returned with their drinks and took Axel’s order. Roxas reached out and took a sip of his beer.

“Good?” Axel asked, looking at him peculiarly.

“Sure,” Roxas said, “Not as good as, say, sea-salt ice cream, but I’ll survive.”

“Nothing beats sea-salt ice cream,” Axel said with a smile.

“You know, that’s what I was eating the day you texted me back for the first time.”

Axel’s smile got even more blinding. “Really? I knew you were something special, Roxas.”

The way he said  _ that _ caused tingles to spark through Roxas’ body - and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that reaction. “Really,” he confirmed softly while taking another sip of his beer, hoping the blush on his cheeks wasn’t as intense as he felt it was.

“I’ve always loved sea-salt ice cream - most people can’t stand it though,” Axel said. “My best friend, Xion - you met her - is the only other person I know that likes it. Well, besides you now, of course.”

Roxas smiled softly. “It used to be my favorite as a kid. My cousin used to tease me mercilessly for it.”

“Cousin?” Axel asked, a curious look on his face.

Roxas nodded. “We were raised together until I was eleven. Then my parents uprooted us and we lost touch.”

“I’m sorry,” Axel said.

“It’s alright,” Roxas replied, “it was years ago now. And I still love me some sea-salt ice cream.” He found himself grinning at Axel with the confession - like it was some special secret.

“That alone earns you extra points.” Axel declared. “We’ll have to keep a running score.” He took a sip of his beer.

“Be careful,” Roxas warned, thinking of keeping score with Sora, “I can be very competitive.”

Axel let out a laugh at that, directly into his drink, before setting it back on the table. “Like I didn’t notice out there”—he gestured toward the floor of the arcade—“Skee-ball Master.”

Roxas was almost glad when Tifa chose that moment to deliver their food, as it forced him to swallow his planned retort of "I'm good with balls."

“Have you always liked video games?” Axel asked once the food was placed on the table. He reached for a fry.

“I guess so,” Roxas replied. “Always been good at them.”

“Do you have a favorite?”

“Heartless Revenge was pretty good. I like fantasy RPGs too. What about you?”

“I’ve always been partial to racing games, but I loved Fire Island.”

Roxas laughed. "Of course you did," he said while reaching for a fry.

Axel reached for a fry at the same time and crossed his with Roxas’ like they were battling lightsabers. “What can I say?” Axel asked before lifting up the fry to his mouth, “I know what I like.” He grinned as he bit down on the fried potato.

Roxas smiled and replied sarcastically, “Yeah, fire and brimstone. Bodes well.”

“Fire is powerful,” Axel replied, his eyes suddenly serious. “You have to respect it. But I don’t fear it.”

_ Well that is interesting,  _ Roxas decided, but the redhead didn’t elaborate any further.

“What about you? Anything speak to you like that?” 

Axel looked genuinely interested and Roxas thought about it. “Maybe heights,” he said after a moment.

“Heights?”

“Yeah, being high up. On top of the world. You have to respect it - but I don’t fear it.” He parroted Axel’s words back to him.

Axel smiled, his eyes light. “Heights, huh? I like it.”

Roxas couldn't help but feel he'd passed another of Axel's tests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you had fun at Limit Break! 🔥 
> 
> Killer Queen IPA is from the Pipeworks Brewing Company in Chicago, IL. It is inspired by the [ridiculously fun] arcade game of the same name. I do not own either.
> 
> Heartless Revenge and Fire Island, in the way that I envision them, are video games I made up... Unless I'm mistaken and they are out there, in which case someone correct me because I need to play them - stat!
> 
> For anyone wondering, surgery went well and chapters will continue to come at you as scheduled (meaning weekly ♥️ ) for the foreseeable future. For more fun between updates, follow me on [tumblr](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Comments and Kudos make my life and keep me motivated to continue writing. Please keep them coming if you feel so inclined :D Love you all!


	6. Roxing the boat

**Chapter 6 - Roxing the boat**

“So,” Sora blurted out as they both clocked in for their evening shift together, “how was your date night?”

Roxas sighed. “Riku told you about that, huh?”  _ Stall, stall _ , he repeated in his head as he tried to think of a way out of this conversation. _ What did Riku tell Sora?  _ Come to think of it, _ what had Riku seen of him and Axel after he had given them their card? _ Hopefully nothing. Roxas could talk his way out of this if Riku hadn't seen the looks he and Axel had shared, the closeness he was now worried may have been too apparent.  _ Please don't let him have seen them playing the dance game... _

"Yeah." Sora looked slightly sheepish, but mostly determined. "I just haven't seen you since. He said you and a stone cold hottie shared a game card on Tuesday."

Roxas bit back a chuckle at the idea of  _ cold _ and  _ Axel _ in the same sentence - the man set off fires inside of him the closer he got, and that wasn't even counting how warm he had felt wrapped in his arms-  _ Nope! Not going there, _ he chastised himself and hoped, desperately, that he hadn't started blushing. "Did he also tell you that I'll be going to Jars of Flame with you?" 

Sora's smile grew wider with excitement. "He did! It's going to be so great."  _ Thank god for Sora's short attention span. _

Roxas nodded in confirmation before reaching for his backpack and pulling out his wallet. "Yeah, I have the cash for you too."  _ Goodbye savings,  _ he thought to himself as he pulled out the whole wad of bills he had and passed it to Sora.

“Awesome! It’s going to be so much fun!” Sora said exuberantly, his bright smile lighting up the back room. “We’re both glad you decided to come.”

“Mhm,” Roxas hummed, “thanks for the invite and extra ticket.”

“Of course!” Sora smiled. “So, about that date-”

"It wasn't a date," Roxas interrupted. And it wasn't. He’d not allowed himself to fall too deep into that complicated thought. It was just a night at the arcade with Axel, who was just a friend. A friend he had slept with. But just a friend, who he had been texting with constantly before and immediately after their ‘not-date.’ They had been up until 4:30 in the morning after the arcade just texting, agreeing that level four had been reached.  _ Sounds like it was a date.  _

“That’s not what I heard,” Sora teased, voicing Roxas’ thoughts, “but I get it if you don’t want to kiss and tell.”

There had been no kissing. When it had come time to leave the arcade, they had stayed until closing, neither had wanted to part ways just yet, so they had spent the next hour just walking outside in the chilly air. Of course Roxas and Axel had already kissed before then. He really didn't want to admit that either though, so he just shrugged.

Sora giggled in a way that only he could without sounding ridiculous. "I'd really love to meet him."

If Roxas wasn’t blushing before, something about that comment set his cheeks ablaze, yet he really couldn't figure out why. For all the texting he and Axel had been doing, neither of them had asked or offered anything about the major topics. Roxas really felt like they would need to talk about them if they were going to move forward.

If there was something to even move forward to.

Roxas was saved from any further awkward questions by Demyx, who called out from his office, "Hey, guy. Once you're settled, I need one of you to go meet Zack to grab our latest shipment. Also, I have to work on the next set of schedules today, so if you have any requests that aren’t in the book get it in now, okay?”

“Sure, I can go meet Zack,” Roxas confirmed as Sora wandered over toward Demyx’s door.

“We’ll both need the night off for the Jars of Flame concert,” Sora informed their manager and Roxas’ caught the other man nodding in response. There was no way Demyx would make them work that night, and both of them knew it. 

The man was obsessed with music, and would be more than happy to hear they were getting to see some good music. Roxas wouldn’t be surprised if Demyx had tickets to the show as well. But on the off chance he put up any resistance, Roxas wasn’t above a little blackmail. He’d caught Demyx playing his own music over the store’s stereo - the music had sounded just slightly differently from the usual fair, but when he asked Demyx about it he’d quickly been bribed with chocolate and sworn to secrecy. It was a good trade at the time,  _ free chocola te _ _,_ but Demyx wouldn’t want Larxene or anyone else in management to know about it.

“Just put it in the request book, it should be in its usual spot unless Naminé has it - I want you to tell her to go on break when you get out on the floor, Sora.”

“For sure,” Sora nodded as he pushed open the door to the front of the store as Roxas headed towards the delivery bay to meet Zack.

Half a dozen boxes transported later, Roxas was deep into unloading and sorting the new merchandise. Luckily everything had come pre-tagged this time around, which made his life a hell of a lot easier - especially considering the sleep debt that was building up from all the late nights texting with Axel. He may not be sleeping any more than he had been, but as he busied himself folding, hanging and finding new spots for everything, he was free of aches and pains. He was forced to admit that sleeping in a proper bed again was so much better than the couch.

“Hey, Demyx.” Roxas found the manager after putting out the new t-shirts. “I have a few new items. I’m not sure where you want them.”

“Alright, let’s see what we got,” Demyx smiled. “Any new anime or video game stuff? I want to help fill up the front table. It's been selling out like crazy this week.”

Roxas knew it was always a battle to keep those front displays freshly stocked well with the hottest new merchandise. “Um, there’s a couple things that might work,” Roxas informed him. “We got some new sweatshirts.”

“Hm, let me see,” Demyx said again. “I can play around with some ideas.”

Roxas nodded - as much as Demyx complained about floor plan visuals, the displays he set out had a tendency to sell pretty quickly.

“Speaking of ideas,” Demyx said but paused as he tilted his head looking at the table. Roxas wondered what he was envisioning when Demyx asked, “Do you think two months of dating someone is too soon for a big gift?”

Roxas bit his lip. In the past he might have said so - in the days before Hayner. But once Hayner was gone he’d spent many hours wishing he could have those early days back - the beginning when their relationship went from friends to more. Some nights, especially in the extremely raw days when he'd lain in their bed alone, Roxas would lie awake and think back to their firsts - their first kiss, their first official date, the first time they had sex, and even the day they had officially registered KeyChat in both their names as co-owners - and wish he’d done more to make them even more special. 

Because now that Hayner was gone, he wondered if he  _ had _ if Hayner would still have decided his life was worth nothing - if Roxas had known what was to come and could have prevented it somehow...

“I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t even ask.” Demyx’s voice jolted Roxas back to reality. “It’s not like- anyways, I just have been considering-” The other man shook his head as he continued to look at the table in front of him. “Let’s just grab some of those sweatshirts and try a couple things.”

“Sure,” Roxas agreed. “I can do that, but-” He cut himself off to consider his words. Sora would be blunt here, he knew, but Demyx had asked  _ him _ the question - not Sora. And oddly Roxas had come to consider his co-workers almost like his little family, something he didn’t like to think on too hard because it made him mourn the loss of KeyChat and what it could have been: the people they would have worked with, the good they could have done in the world. Eyes stinging, Roxas tried to swallow, but choked on his own spit and instead coughed pretty violently.

“Hey, you okay?” 

“Y-Yeah,” Roxas choked out, “just”—he couldn't stop another cough—“w-water.”

“C’mon,” Demyx tapped his shoulder before moving to the back room with some speed. Roxas, unable to stop, followed. His eyes watered as the coughing fit didn’t stop, and didn’t register Demyx was handing him water until he felt the cool bottle press against his chest. 

“Drink,” Demyx ordered. “You okay?”

Roxas nodded as he managed a sip of water, stalling the fit so he could find his voice. “Yeah, I am. Then”— _ cough _ —“gah- sorry. Thanks for the water.”

“As long as you don’t need me to call anyone.”

“I’m good,” Roxas tried to reassure, totally embarrassed at the minor scene he had caused. “I swear, all better,” he said as he waved his hand around, “See.” Demyx nodded. “Now,” he began again, “what I was trying to say was I think that if you feel like you want to do something for someone, you should do it. You only get one shot at it and you can’t change it once it’s past.” Roxas was surprised how confident his voice sounded in that moment.

Demyx stepped back and regarded Roxas with a soft smile. “Do you take your own advice?” he asked, “because that was pretty sage.”

Roxas shrugged and took another sip of water. Something in Demyx’s tone called Axel to his mind - oddly the time he’d run into the man at the grocery store. Idly, he wondered if Axel subscribed to a similar philosophy himself. If that’s why he’d given Roxas his number. If he felt he had a shot with Roxas-

“It’s just Zexion,” Demyx ran his hand through his hair, interrupting Roxas’ train of thought. “We’re trying the dating thing. For real this time. It’s real slow, and we’ve been friends for so long, I honestly don’t know how to treat it sometimes. I also have a tendency to rush into things with other people, which is why we’ve fallen apart before, so this is all new to me. But he’s giving me a chance, and our two month anniversary is coming up. And I know it’s early and silly, but I really think I want to do something special for him, you know?”

Roxas nodded. “Yes, I know better than you might think,” he confessed, taking a deep breath to mentally prepare himself before letting the words rush out. “My last relationship. He was my best friend, first. When we moved from friends to something more it was gradual - and sometimes I wondered, along the way, if we were losing a friendship and replacing it with a relationship. Those early days were a lot - a lot of fumbling in the dark”—Roxas let out a dark chuckle—“but if I could go back and redo them all, I would. In a heartbeat. And I would have made all the declarations I could.”

“Yeah?” Demyx looked him the eye, his voice strong.

“Yeah,” Roxas confirmed, “you- you only ever really get one chance at it.” He closed his eyes and tried not to let his mind wander to Axel.  _ Should he take his own advice _ \- open that door and try? He wondered at the thoughts running through his mind. They no longer felt unexpected, but they came with a lot of unanswered questions.

Roxas wondered if that meant he was healing or desperate.

Demyx nodded, still contemplating the advice, before turning to the stock. “C’mon,” he said, sounding somewhat resigned, “let’s get this stuff out on the floor.”

They worked together moving stock and merch back and forth for a while. Roxas tried to lose himself in the monotony of it, but his thoughts were all stirred up inside him - and though his grief felt palpable, he also found himself wanting to reach for his phone to text Axel. Even if Roxas wasn’t sure where they stood, or exactly what was leveling between them, he couldn’t deny that chatting with the red haired man made his heart feel that much lighter. 

The other night at the arcade he’d hardly thought of anything besides  _ being _ with Axel. And it had felt like Axel’s sole focus had been on Roxas and not on anything else. There had been no over the top terms of endearment, though Roxas had noticed he’d kept using the ultra sweet ones, or super crazy pick-up lines. And everything since had felt more real and grounded. Like the building blocks of a foundation.

It felt a little surreal.  _ This man he’d paid for for one night was becoming… something else. _

And Roxas wasn’t entirely sure what to do with it.

“...just talk to him,” Sora’s voice broke through his thoughts as if he could read Roxas’ mind. “If you’re feeling weird or uncomfortable, I’m sure he’d understand.”

Roxas felt his blood run cold.  _ Had he been talking out loud and not realizing it?  _ He snapped his head up and felt a weight lift off his shoulders when Demyx started talking, looking at the display he and Roxas had just finished setting up like he was deep in thought.

“Yeah, not bad advice.”

“Oh! I’m full of good advice,” Sora announced proudly, standing a little taller. “Isn’t that right, Naminé?” he called over to the long haired blonde wearing a short blue dress that matched her eyes. Roxas couldn’t help but notice the dress had cutouts at the shoulder – there was no real dress code at the store besides no open-toed shoes, name tags must be visible at all times, and only allowed to wear graphic tees if they were actually sold in-store – and wondered if Larxene would have written Naminé up for not having her shoulders covered. It seemed like their district manager was always out to get her. That was why Roxas always just wore black.

“Yeah,” Naminé said with a smile, “just last week Sora was offering me advice on an issue I was having in one of my current classes - turned out he was right.” She was always asking her coworkers for advice, her family wasn't in the picture as far as Roxas knew, and Sora had become her go to person. Sora really could make friends with even the most evil of villains without even trying.

“Oh?” Demyx asked, looking over at her, “What was it?”

“Well…” Naminé began, fidgeting a little as she considered her words, “I was asked, along with a few other people, to do this art exposition show thing at the end of the semester. In order to participate we, ah, had to fill out these ‘show proposal’ forms. I had a whole concept I wanted to do based on drawing historical castles. I was pretty excited to try the idea. But as I got more into the development of it, I had two things come up. First - there was another guy in the class proposing a similar castle concept with photography,” she sounded disappointed as she scuffed her foot on the ground.

“And the other?” Roxas asked.

“The more I got into the idea, the more I thought I should save it for my senior show.” Her eyes brightened a little at the mention.

“I told her she should battle the other kid to the death over the idea - like the ye knights of ol’,” Sora said happily, “but that was not my best advice - it’s only what I would have done. So after that idea was shot down, we started talking through the pros and cons of saving the idea for Naminé’s later show.”

Naminé nodded. “Yup,” she smiled and pulled her hair over her shoulder, “And turns out saving it and working on another project I have was the way to go - they loved my new proposal even more than my original anyway.” She smiled.

“What did you end up going with?” Roxas asked.

“Going to be working on some pieces based on the elements. I have some really cool ideas to use different mediums and textures. It’s going to be more modern art based too - which was an added plus in the direction that the showcase was looking for.”

“I can’t wait to see it!” Sora said, excitedly.

“You helped me out,” Naminé said with a soft smile, “I’ll make sure you do.”

“Deal.” Sora turned to Demyx. “See?” He smiled. "I give very good advice. So now you have to talk to him."

Demyx’s laughter lit him up like a Christmas tree and Roxas felt some of the tension drain from his own shoulders.  _ Talk to him.  _ Those words rang in Roxas' head.  _ Who was Sora really talking to? _ "Is this still about Zexion?" He asked. 

“Yeah,” Demyx said, “same thing I asked you earlier.”

“You know, communication is key, as they say,” Sora said with a smile.

“Are you ready to check out?” Naminé’s voice called them all back to order as a group of boys made their way up to the registers with their purchases in hand.

“Help on the registers,” Demyx said with a gesture that meant Roxas should stay on the floor to try and help too - not that it was the largest of crowds. Roxas wondered if Demyx really just wanted a few moments alone to think. He wouldn’t blame him.

The remaining time on his shift passed quickly with Naminé and Sora - even if Roxas was feeling oddly more vulnerable than he normally did. Naminé’s shift was over before theirs so Sora challenged Roxas in register closing - which Roxas lost, costing him a point in their tally - but other than that they closed up shop mostly on time and with no other issues. 

Roxas knew he should just go home, but he really felt like he wanted to see Axel. His phone had sat silent for most of the day, in high contrast to the previous night when he’d fallen asleep texting the redhead, and the discussions at work had left him feeling raw. He thought seeing Axel might help calm him down.

That was how he found himself standing outside a recognizable wooden door. He paused a moment, before pushing it open and walking inside with more confidence than he felt. 

“Hello again!” the woman, Xion he reminded himself, smiled brilliantly. She was wearing a black leather bikini top and tight pants to match - with the same high-heeled boots as last time. “Welcome back.”

“Hello,” Roxas said, leaning back on his heels. He opened his mouth and closed it again, his eyes darting around. “I’d like to request Axel’s services.”

Xion frowned, and Roxas decided the look didn’t suit her. “Does he know you’re coming?”

Roxas shook his head. 

“Because he’s in with a client, but I know he would have cleared his night for you,  _ Cinnabon.”  _ Her smile was back, but it didn’t feel as bright as it had when he’d walked in. 

“Oh.” Roxas felt something in him sink. “That’s okay, I can- some other time.” 

He moved back towards the door as she watched. She made no effort to suggest another rentboy, not that Roxas would have even entertained the thought. “You know,” she called after him. He whipped back around. “He’s been happier since he met you.”

Roxas felt his cheeks flush. “Wha-?  _ Really? _ ” 

“Yes,” she said with a nod and walked up and placed her hand on his shoulder. The warmth of her palm seeped down his arm. “Taking less clients too. I’ve been meaning to thank you for that.”

“I didn’t really do much,” Roxas admitted. 

Xion shook her head and pulled back her hand. “Not true. You can ask him if you want. Just, um, maybe wait until tomorrow.” 

Roxas nodded and left with a wave, pushing open the door out onto the street. He was unpleasantly surprised to find it was now raining heavily outside, the weather mocking how Roxas was feeling - making his trudge home even worse. Despite being closer to home than his work was, it took several additional minutes for Roxas to get back.

“Stupid rain,” he cursed, flipping on the light. A scratching came from the back door, and Roxas quickly slid it open to let Mickey in out of the downpour. The cat came bounding inside and rubbed up against Roxas’ leg in thanks.

“Someone wants to see me,” Roxas muttered, leaning down to pet the cat who pushed his face into Roxas’ hand and purred affectionately.

Even with Mickey present there was something about his quiet, lonely apartment that felt cold. It was like something had switched in his brain, and between the talk with his coworkers and then the chat with Xion he felt like he needed to determine what was going on with him and Axel. He knew it was selfish but he was starting to want  _ more -  _ an idea that both elated him and slightly terrified him all at once. 

_ Axel’s with someone else,  _ he thought angrily.

_ But he could be with you,  _ his thoughts came back stronger as he moved to the kitchen and grabbed a box of mac and cheese, prepping a pot of water to boil on the stove. Lost in thought, he watched as bubbles slowly started to form and then rise to the surface, much like the feelings that had slowly been bubbling up in him since he first met the hot man. He hadn’t wanted anyone since Hayner and that was new and intimidating, but he also couldn’t deny the fire he felt from the tall redhead.

_ Was he betraying Hayner if he wanted something more? _

No. He knew he wasn’t betraying Hayner - that was patently ridiculous. He was allowed to like someone again. He was allowed to feel those feelings. The Hayner he’d known would want him to, would want him to live his life and stop mourning what they had lost, and he had to hold onto that.

The water was at a full rolling boil by now, but Roxas remained still. His thoughts chased around in circles, trying to determine where he stood with Axel and if there could be something more forming between them.  _ What did Axel want with him? Sex or something more? Had Xion really said Axel was taking less clients? Or had he imagined that? Was it because of him? How would Roxas even bring this all up? _

A hiss of steam sounded as the pot began to boil over, water splashing the stovetop and sizzling on the hot surface. Roxas shook himself out of his chaotic mind and lowered the heat on the pot before tossing in the pasta, splashing a bit of water on himself in the process. The sudden heat shocked him, but it hadn’t been enough to leave a burn. The skin remained tender the entire time the pasta was cooking.

When his dinner of mac and cheese was ready, Roxas sat on the couch with Mickey in his lap, bowl in one hand and his phone the other hand. He clicked it open and scrolled through his texts with Axel before ending on the last thing Axel had texted him - a smiley face. Just looking at it Roxas felt a small, uncontrollable smile come to his lips. Now all he had to do was say something back.

In between bites of cheesy pasta, he typed out several messages to Axel and deleted them all, one by one. But he knew he needed to say  _ something  _ \- he  _ wanted  _ to say something. If only to determine what Axel’s intentions were _. _

Sora wasn’t wrong, communication was key, and following his advice to Demyx would probably do Roxas some good as well. And even Xion had encouraged him to talk to Axel - or at least that’s how he remembered their conversation ending.

It took half a dozen or so drafts and two emptied bowls of mac and cheese later before Roxas finally felt like he knew what he wanted to do. Without letting himself think too much about it, he sent off a quick message to Axel. Closing the screen with a click, he leaned back to get some sleep. Laying on his back he fell into a fitful rest - the couch supporting him and his decisions when his phone finally pinged against his stomach in the early morning hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O.o What's Roxas' next move? And how will Axel respond? Predictions welcome and encouraged :D
> 
> Hope you enjoyed chapter six! As always, Comments and Kudos make everything better (and keep me motivated to write more!) ♥️ 
> 
> Feel free to join me on [tumblr](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/) where I post random writings in between chapters


	7. Axel and regret-el

**Chapter 7 - Axel and regret-el**

“Thanks for coming,” Roxas greeted Axel while holding out a sea-salt ice cream pop. “I brought reinforcements in case my company wasn’t sweet enough.” 

Axel tilted his head as he reached for the sweet treat, his long sleeved black shirt hugging his frame like a glove. “Now, why would you ever think that, Cinnamon Roll?”

Roxas felt his heart rate spike even higher than it already was. He hadn’t seen Axel in just over a week and being near the man again was making him very excited. Still, Roxas felt like some of his anxiety was still bleeding through around his excitement. But he knew he needed to do this - he had to stop wondering at least. Their texting this week had proven it - Axel had sent him some texts that heavily suggested that there was more going on here. Not just for Roxas but for the redhead as well. 

And some things were just better said in person anyway. 

“I just”—Roxas swallowed his anxiety—“have some things to say.”

Axel tilted his head, curiosity alight in his green eyes burning into Roxas. 

Roxas sighed and took a seat, leaving enough space for Axel to sit down beside him. He had asked Axel to meet him at the top of the Twilight Town Clock Tower - which the city had turned into a green roof a few years back and officially opened to the public. There was a lot of greenery and benches to sit on, but to Roxas’ regret they’d built up guardrails around the ledge where he used to sit and play Pokémon - or whatever video game of the week - when he was younger and would sneak out. A part of him wished he could still sit on the ledge. His saving grace was that, even with the renovations, very few people found their way up here, so it still offered some privacy - especially in the middle of the afternoon on a workday for those who held regular nine-to-fives.

“You know,” Axel said, now right beside him. Roxas startled, he hadn’t even realized Axel had slid in to sit down. “I used to come up here a lot when I first moved here. Just before they put in those railings.” He pointed over to the ledge. 

“When did you move here?” Roxas asked, curious. He felt sure he’d never seen the redhead before. 

“Oh, three or four years ago now? I moved here with my friend Xion - you met her. The one who owns-”

“Yeah, I met her,” Roxas cut in. He could explain away at least three years of not running into Axel here if that was the case - he’d stopped coming up here completely when he’d gotten together with Hayner. “Black hair, bright blue eyes, fishnets?”

“You forgot stunning smile,” Axel teased with a smile of his own. Roxas privately thought his was more gorgeous than Xion’s, but he kept that thought to himself. “But yeah, that’s her. She’s my best friend. Has been since - forever. Even if we lost touch for a few years there.”

“What happened?” Roxas found himself asking as he finally opened his sea-salt ice cream, which was starting to melt to the packaging, and pulled it out. Even if he had intended to do much of the talking today, he found himself wanting to know everything that Axel would share with him.

“That’s a long story,” the other man replied, opening his own ice cream.

Roxas made a loose gesture with his free hand. “Not going anywhere,” he insisted, surprised to find that he meant it on multiple levels, before taking a lick of his ice cream. He was sure he heard a groan from Axel, but when he looked over the man showed no signs of any reaction.

“It’s pretty personal, sweet cheeks,” Axel said, and Roxas caught a glimpse of something that might be the beginnings of blush on his cheeks. “Besides, you didn't bring us here just to hear me talk. Or did I misread your texts?” Axel’s green eyes looked so bright, and Roxas almost threw the planned speech and all his reservations out the window and kissed him right there. But he hardened his resolve and decided he should try to complete the mission he was originally here for.

“It’s pretty personal too,” Roxas said, repeating Axel’s words, “but I think you should know. Remember-” He took a deep breath. “Remember the night we met?”

Axel let out a soft chuckle. “I told you, sweet cheeks - I never forget a face, or a cock.”

Roxas flushed, willing his cock to  _ stay down _ . He shouldn’t be getting so worked up over Axel’s teasing. Plus he was trying to be serious - he  _ did _ have some things to say. That thought effectively tempered him. “Yeah - see, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way-”

“I doubt there’s anything you could say that would upset me,” Axel said, suddenly very serious.

Roxas' ice cream was melting, dripping down his hand, yet he couldn't bring himself to eat it and instead shoved the melty mess back in the wrapper. He turned to face Axel, who was still slowly eating his ice cream. Axel's tongue was slightly mesmerizing as it licked up the side to catch the melting drips. Axel noticed him staring. 

“What?” Axel asked with mock innocence, teasing him, “I hardly ever get sea-salt ice cream anymore! I can listen and eat at the same time.”

Roxas laughed, trying to shake off the arousal he felt slowly building in his veins. It was a good distraction from what he came here to say but he needed to be serious. He drew in a deep breath.

“Hey,” Axel set a hand on his shoulder and looked at him seriously. “It’s okay.”

Roxas tried not to get hypnotized as those green eyes bored into him. It was like Axel could see straight into his soul. “Yeah,” he muttered, “Just, I need to tell you something. Something important. Please listen.” He took another shaky breath before launching into it. “The night we met- I was trying to escape and forget months of loneliness. I’m sure that’s not  _ that _ unusual, but my-” He paused, not sure what to call Hayner - he wasn’t an ex but past lover didn’t feel right either. “Hayner, that’s my last boyfriend. He killed himself. Unexpectedly. I was the one who found him.” Roxas blinked back stinging tears as he pressed on. “When I came to see you I wanted some comfort or- to feel  _ something. _ I probably could have gotten it some other way - hell, I was ready to bolt out the door before you saw me. But I also think that part of it, a part of me, needed it to feel  _ transactional _ . Except- wait, please, don’t take that the wrong way-”

“Except what? It didn’t work?”

“What? No, definitely not that. It was special, you have to believe me. What I meant was that it was supposed to be a one-time thing, except-”

“Except, you met me.” 

Little sparks tingled up his spine. Axel’s voice was so soft Roxas wasn’t sure he’d heard it. So he repeated it. “Except I met you. And I could no longer tell what was real and what wasn’t. And then we ran into each other at the grocery store and from there,” he paused and licked his lips - the sweetness from the ice cream still remained. “You know the story from there. So that brings me to the other day when some of my friends helped me realize that, with Hayner, if I could magically go back and redo the beginning all over again I think that I would. But I can’t. Not with him. But with you- With you, I can still write the script.”

Axel just looked at him, something unreadable in his eyes. 

Roxas decided it was now or never. “Do you- Are you- interested in me?” 

“Roxas. Look, I'm just a-”

“No! That’s not what I asked.” Roxas felt his insides tie up tight. “Answer the question. Please, Axel."

Axel gave a tiny laugh. “I was trying.” He shook his head. “Xion told me you were trouble. I should have known. She’s always right.”

Roxas blinked, a rush of emotion washing over him.  _ What had he been about to say? And Axel has been talking about him? With Xion? _

Axel reached his hand up and scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, I’m not really one for secrets.”  _ Had he asked that out loud? _ Slightly mortified, he looked on as Axel continued. “My life is kind of open for the most part. Especially where Xion is concerned. We don’t keep much from each other.”

Roxas nodded - it made sense - but he could feel his cheeks flaring. 

Axel looked right at Roxas. “You know why I never forget a face, Cinnabon?”

Roxas shook his head, mutely. He was too busy trying not to melt at the nickname. His cheeks felt like they were on fire. 

“My dad. When I was a kid he beat up on my brother and me. One day he hit me so hard it landed me in the hospital.”

Roxas let out a small, involuntary gasp.

“It was years ago, but yeah. He- he really did a number on my head. I ah, have a really bad memory. So I forced myself to learn all kinds of tricks to improve it once I was finally away from him. Getting away from him changed me. I reinvented myself - or you might say I rebelled, I guess. That’s when I got my tattoos.” He smiled fondly, running one finger under his eye as if to illustrate. Roxas couldn’t help but stare.

“But it’s also around that time that I started falling in with the wrong crowd. Xion tried to warn me - even followed me for a while - but she saw sense and got out before I could. I-” Axel paused, looking like he was debating what he was about to say. “When she and I finally reconnected she was moving here. Xion saw an opportunity to help people with her own legal place in sex work, and there was certainly more munny in it than either of us had. It felt like a no-brainer.”

“So- you’re an owner?” Roxas asked slowly, trying not to lean into the feeling of relief that was threatening to flood his chest. He felt overwhelmingly guilty that it should even matter in the slightest and tried to tamp it down.

Axel laughed. “No, I just work there. I asked for some perks - best friend of the boss and all - but sex has always been fun for me and I saw it as a chance to start legally rebuilding my life with some munny. Funny how sex work is more legal than anything I was doing before - but there you go. Gave me a roof over my head too.”

“Oh,” Roxas said.

“Don’t get me wrong - it definitely has its downsides. Most clients are fine enough. I guess. But then you get ones like the other day who just - well I don’t kiss and tell, sweet cheeks, but they’re not the good ones.” Roxas could feel his heart sinking as Axel talked and he just wanted to pull the other man in for a hug. 

That thought took him by surprise, it felt so much like his old self, that he didn’t know what to say or do right away. He swallowed, looking up at Axel. The man looked relatively calm, but Roxas thought he could see something uneasy in his gaze. The silence that sat between them felt far less awkward than it would have if he were sitting here with anyone else, but Roxas desperately felt like he needed a distraction anyway, so he latched onto the first question that felt safe to ask. “What did you want to do?”

“When I was a kid I wanted to be a performer - or maybe a magician,” Axel said with a smile, “but now, I’m not sure. Never really been in a position to think about it.”

“So what- what was your goal giving me your number?”

“I honestly did want to get to know you,” Axel shrugged. “But you also remind me of someone. I’m not sure who - it’s bothered me. It was definitely from before I could remember things like I do now.”

Roxas vaguely recalled that from their first night together and slid a little closer to Axel.

“But then I started to get to know you. And I realized it was more than that. It’s the way we just feel right together. And I’ve been with enough people to know.”

“I felt like-” Roxas started but stopped himself. He felt a burning heat in his chest at Axel’s words and he curled up into it. He’d told himself before he came that he wouldn’t push Axel if he didn’t want to officially date. But it felt really hard to do now that he was here. 

“Roxas.” 

Something in Axel's voice made Roxas look up and he found himself caught by bright green eyes. Axel reached his hand out and ran it along the bottom of Roxas’ jaw. Roxas stopped himself from leaning into the touch.

“I’ve never been the ‘settle down’ type. And there’s plenty you don’t know about me. But there’s something about you that makes me feel like that’s okay.” Axel said but his voice sounded almost lost. Roxas wasn’t sure how to take it.

“If we were dating,” Roxas tried and then backtracked.  _ Fuck, _ so much for not asking or talking about it.  _ Guess he was speedrunning the whole dating conversation now.  _ He felt like he was ruining his chances if he said any more, but he also felt like he was forfeiting his shot if he let them fall back into their old ways without giving voice to how Axel made him feel. 

So he bit the bullet.

“Could we date? I mean, it’s so much to ask you to give up that lifestyle for me, especially when I don’t know if dating me is something you even want. Is it something you want?” Roxas could hear how small his own voice sounded as he continued, “I’m broken, it’s probably not worth it. I just really enjoyed getting to know you, and going to the arcade, and being around you, and you make me forget-” Roxas cut himself off, realizing he was rambling worse than Sora. He looked up right as Axel closed his eyes, and that was all the confirmation Roxas needed. “I understand,” he said, feeling defeated. 

_ Game over. He’d just have to pay for Axel’s services again and stay in this friendship they’d somehow built and kill off all the goddamn  _ **_feelings_ ** _ - _

Axel shook his head. “No, that’s not it,” he said. “Xion told me if I wanted a man like you I had to get out of my line of work. And it doesn’t help that the image of you cumming on my bed is what I fantasize about to get myself off - frosting from my sweetest cinnamon roll.”

Roxas mouth dropped open - he  _ never _ expected any sort of declaration or admission like that. It shocked him more than it aroused him, and it definitely aroused him, but he also found that he trusted it. It didn’t sound fake or put-on, it sounded sincere and weirdly sweet.

Axel laughed. 

“What?”  _ Was Axel laughing at him? _

“Xion and I had a bet if you’d ever ask me and if you did what I’d say.” Axel paused, considering. It felt like the longest moment of Roxas’ life before he said, “I think she just won. Smart girl.”

Roxas couldn’t have stopped his smile if he wanted to.

“She knew something was up. Especially when I started cutting back on clients. I’ve always been able to be selective but…” Axel let his voice trail off, a strange look on his face. "It's just, I don't have anything else I can-" He cut himself off. "I have-" Shaking his head, the redhead tried again. "No, no excuses. I don’t fear commitment - but I do respect it. And I respect you.” He looked down at Roxas.

“You’d take that risk without test driving the goods?”

"Oh, I'm definitely looking forward to getting a ride, but I already know the goods are... well, good." Axel’s smile felt like it was just for him as he teased. “And I want to buy the whole thing.”

Roxas laughed and playfully shoved his shoulder. “Sorry - not for sale.”

“Well, I will just have to find the right price for a Cinnabon then,” Axel continued to tease.

Roxas didn’t know what to say, but he could feel the smile on his face - even as he fought down the guilt inside him. But it was quickly washed out further when Axel grinned and wrapped his arm around Roxas’ back to pull against him, close.

“So,” Axel said, breaking the silence, “Do you think you can wait for me to sort things all out so we can try this for real?”

“You won’t regret it?” Roxas asked into his shoulder.

“I’m afraid I’ll regret it more if I don’t,” Axel replied seriously, and Roxas felt something in him break. “I could always go back.”

Roxas felt the break inside him shake loose and he heard himself let out a strained laugh. “This is the most we’ve talked about you, and what you do-”

“I was a rentboy - no shame in that,” Axel said as he smiled. The sight helped to calm Roxas and his words ignited him with awe.  _ Axel was contemplating changing everything? For him? _

“ _ Was… _ ” Roxas breathed. “Can I kiss you?”

Instead of answering, Axel’s bright green eyes burned into him as he leaned down and captured Roxas’ lips. The kiss was as incredible as Roxas remembered - a fire slowly spreading down his spine as they deepened their connection, leaning into each other like they had kissed a million times before. It didn’t feel forced or fake - quite the opposite, really - as the fireworks crackled and exploded beneath his skin. He closed his eyes, relishing the tingling burn of the sparks. Roxas opened his mouth to Axel and grinned when Axel moved to suck lightly on his bottom lip. It felt sensual and inviting - Roxas could tell neither of them wanted to be the one to pull away first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's something special about this chapter for me - I hope you all enjoyed it too!
> 
> As always - Comments and Kudos make my life. You all are sweeter than sea-salt ice cream!
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/) for fun stuff in between chapter posts :D


	8. getting your Roxas off

**Chapter 8 - getting your Roxas off**

Roxas woke up with the sun, on his couch, from a deep sleep devoid of dreams. Immediately he reached to grab his phone to see if Axel had texted. The screen glared brightly, taunting him with the early hour but no new messages.

Roxas blew out a breath as he looked around his apartment. It was slowly feeling more cramped lately. Not like the space was ever big, but it felt even smaller with piles of laundry spilling out from his lone closet into heaps on the floor, his kitchen countertop buried deeper than ET in the desert, and his couch pillows everywhere but where they belonged. His bed was also stripped and unmade - the sheets joining the piles of dirty fabrics on the floor. He couldn’t remember the last time he had done laundry - his towels were probably growing mold.

The sight was nothing new, built gradually through months of inaction and now maintained solely out of habit. More recently though, his apathetic mood had been joined by a lingering warm feeling in his chest that never seemed to quite burn out these days. He would be lying if he said it didn’t dim down when threatened with thoughts of Hayner, but it would always flare back to life with a vengeance whenever Axel would text, or talk to him, or meet up with him somewhere to hang out, which was now happening on more occasions. 

Over the past weeks they’d started going on small adventures - actually going out for coffee one morning, walking by the river another. Another morning was spent getting sea-salt ice cream at ten a.m., which had surprised the shop owner when she’d arrived in the morning to open and they were waiting outside - talking and laughing, leaning against the wall like it was something they always did and had always done. It felt natural and Roxas found he loved the warmth it dragged up in him, fuel for the ever present fire that was Axel.

Usually meeting at the early hour - which Roxas recognized wasn’t really all _that_ early - made it impossible for Roxas to pull as many all-nighters, and he found he was getting more sleep. Even if it was still on the couch the majority of the time, the extra rest was making him feel more alert, and he found he felt slightly less depressed than he had even a month ago. He wasn’t sure if he could contribute that entirely to the bright redhead who had disrupted his life so effectively or the more stable sleep schedule, but either way he felt more like his old self than he had in months. Not since he'd walked into his bathroom that day-

 _No, he would not think about it,_ Roxas resolved to himself _._ He would not be dragged back down into the depth of despair when he could finally start seeing something like light on the horizon. It was a nice change to find that a lot of his most negative thoughts had faded into the background as he and Axel moved forward with as much honesty as possible between them. 

Glancing around his room once again, Roxas couldn’t believe how low he’d let himself fall.

He felt a jolt race through him. Suddenly feeling surprisingly motivated, he moved to the kitchen and started looking around under the sink for some detergent and any other meager cleaning supplies he thought he might own. There wasn’t much - a pack of opened sponges, some dish soap, a canister of disinfecting wipes, and a spray bottle that was two thirds full. 

As he pulled and sorted through his supplies, he found a box of trash bags hiding behind the spray bottle. He blinked - he couldn’t remember ever having bought them and they were not open. Ripping into the cardboard he unrolled the plastic and began to sort through all the wrappers and other trash on his counters - the bottles and cans were easily removed. Once he’d done his initial sweep, he set the bag aside and went back to address all the dirty dishes - splashing water all down his shirt in the process. 

_It was probably time to wash it anyway,_ Roxas thought, resigned, as he stripped off his shirt and marched over to his closet, looking for a clean one. He wasn’t sure when he’d last washed anything he owned besides work clothes - which he wasn’t going to wear now even if something was clean. Not that he wasn’t sure anything was. Plus, he tended to wear all black to work - and he preferred at least a little more color on his days off.

He searched for a couple minutes and was surprised when the only thing he could find was a bright color-blocked purple and teal tank top that had been in style about a decade prior. Roxas had totally forgotten he had it - but at least it had no memories attached. He'd stored away most of his more memorable clothing with Hayner's things: the Heartless Revenge sweatshirt Hay had gifted him for his birthday, the genuine leather jacket with silver metal spikes he’d opened their second Christmas together, the limited edition Final Fantasy sneakers Hayner had somehow managed to score for him even though they sold out within an hour of their release...

Staving off the thoughts of Hayner, and trying to be productive, Roxas unrolled more garbage bags to bring everything down to the laundromat. Eliminating the piles on the floor, he started with his towels and sheets, before moving onto the blanket on the couch and finally his clothes. Luckily he didn’t have to walk far to collect it all. He was in the middle of bag number three, and his apartment was already feeling slightly less claustrophobic, when his phone buzzed. With an excited jolt Roxas reached for it.

**AXEL - 1 Text Message**

He opened it at top speed.

 **Axel:** **_Good morning cutie. How’s my butterscotch biscuit?_ **

Roxas found himself smiling as the ridiculous nickname as he shoved the reminder of his clothes in the bag before closing it up and snapping a picture of the stuffed makeshift laundry bags leaning against each other. He sent it along with the caption: **_Actually adulting today - laundry boss battle._ **

He moved to collect his keys and box of quarters - he wasn’t sure how many he would need - and started collecting up all the bags when his phone pinged again.

 **AXEL:** **_Want to play co-op? I have nothing to do today._ **

Roxas stared at the screen. Did Axel just ask him if he could help with his _laundry?_ Thinking it was a little strange he replied **‘only** **if you really want to’** along with the laundromat address and set off on his quest.

The laundromat wasn’t far from his place, and it wasn’t packed either - which was good because Roxas ended up needing to run four loads at once - and that didn’t count his towels, sheets, and couch blanket which he crammed into a larger washer drum at the end of the row. He was just starting the last of it - his jeans and pants - when he saw Axel walk through the front door. Even if his hair wasn’t bright red, Roxas couldn’t have missed him - he was wearing all black and towered over the machines as he made a beeline towards Roxas. Roxas wondered how he wasn’t dying from heat in his hooded sweatshirt.

Even so, Roxas couldn’t stop his smile if he tried.

“Hey, babe,” Axel greeted. The newest nickname - despite Axel seeming to have a near endless supply of them - never failed to ignite the fire in his chest. Nobody, not even Hayner, had called him babe or baby before. “Being all responsible today, huh? How sexy.” His eyes flicked up and down Roxas, taking him in, lingering appreciatively on his tank top. Roxas felt sweltering tenderness slice through him.

“It’s not,” Roxas replied with a smile, “but it could be.” He stepped forward and leaned up to kiss Axel square on the mouth. Slender arms encircled him and the world washed away briefly as Roxas allowed himself to melt into the kiss, just a little bit, before pulling back. “It’s nice to see you, but you didn’t have to come meet me,” he said while moving to take a seat on one of the benches, “watching the spin cycle can’t be very much fun.”

“On the contrary,” Axel said, his voice teasing as he sat down, “when I have my very own cinnamon bun to enjoy, it makes everything that much sweeter.”

Roxas blushed and looked at the machine that held his shirts.

“You know something?” he said, he could hear a bit of wistfulness in his voice as he turned toward Axel and looked him in the eyes. As always he was mesmerized by those green eyes and the purple tattoos beneath, and he almost forgot what he was going to say. “I used to have a laundry day.”

“Did you?”

“Yes.” Roxas kicked the ground a little but didn’t look down. “I’m a little embarrassed I let things get this bad. Five loads-”

“My record is eight,” Axel interrupted with a smile.

“...are we still talking about laundry?” Roxas asked with a smirk.

“That’s for me to know, and cinnamon rolls to be frosted.”

“How do I even know you?” Roxas said with a laugh.

“Well, see, this adorable little blond shrimp walked into a bar-”

“Oh? We’re calling it a bar now?”

“All the news apps and other political bodies do.” Axel smiled, but it faded as quickly as it came. “Heaven forbid they call it a _brothel.”_ He stressed the word but looked slightly worried suddenly and Roxas decided he didn’t like the look on him. But before he could ask, Axel said, “I told Xion I want out today.”

Roxas felt his heartbeat race in his chest. 

“She was real happy for me. Told me I always have my room if I want it but she was glad to see me go.” He smiled. “And then she told me to pay up.” Axel’s laugh was contagious and Roxas found himself smiling.

“So what’s next?” he asked, lacing his fingers into Axel’s.

“Well, I’m moving in with an old friend for a while,” Axel informed him, “and I have enough munny saved up to go finish my GED. From there I’m not sure.”

“You’re going to get your GED?” Roxas said, he could hear a little amazement in his tone. He hadn’t realized Axel hadn’t graduated high school, this was the first he was hearing about it, but he felt a streak of pride well up inside him all the same. 

“Yeah,” Axel said with a smile that looked relieved, “that’s the plan, sweet cheeks.”

Without even thinking about it, Roxas leaned up and kissed him.

“Maybe I should announce I am going back to school more often,” Axel said, his tone sultry and sexy as he wrapped an arm around Roxas’ waist and pulled him closer on the bench. “Especially if it gets me kisses like that.”

“Don’t press your luck,” Roxas teased, leaning his head on Axel’s chest with a contented sigh. There was something about being near the other man that felt so right. He couldn’t remember this ease with Hayner. _Sure they always had fun together, but Hayner would have never approved of all the PDA._

“We should celebrate,” Roxas mused.

“Oh?” Axel smirked. 

“Oh, we’re not celebrating you going back to school,” Roxas teased. “We’re celebrating laundry day.”

“Hm,” Axel hummed, pulling Roxas in closer and whispering in his ear, “I guess five loads _is_ an accomplishment.”

Roxas couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed so freely.

* * *

By the time the laundry was all washed, dried, folded (as was now Roxas’ habit working in retail) and the pair started heading back to his apartment, Roxas was debating just _how_ he wanted to celebrate.

This game they’d been playing since they’d had “the talk” finally looked to be reaching the final stage. His time spent with Axel was never dull, but Roxas was edging towards madness from sexual frustration. For weeks, Axel had allowed kisses and the odd affectionate gesture but no further. Roxas had tried, he finally had Axel’s attention, and yet the handjob on the day they met was still the most they had done together. Axel seemed to be avoiding meeting at Roxas’ place, and unfortunately Axel’s place was not somewhere Roxas wanted to be, not while the man had still been working. And every time he was reminded that Axel was still getting some at work, instead of with him, the green monster of jealousy inside of him would rear its ugly head. The walk home from the laundromat was a salve for his frustrated body.

As they reached his front door, Roxas glanced over at Axel, who was carrying two of his three garbage bags stuffed with laundry and his mouth ran dry. He _wanted._ And for the first time he could bask in that feeling - almost entirely guilt-free. Axel had actually done the impossible. _For him._ It felt monumental, and Roxas’ heart swelled in his chest.

“You are the one who will open the door, Firecracker.”

“Huh?” Roxas snapped out of his thoughts.

“A key opens doors.” Axel smiled. “As much as I like carrying your laundry and all-”

“Ah, right,” Roxas said, reaching for his keys and opening the door, now even more grateful that he’d tried to clean that morning. “It’s not much but it’s home,” he said as he led Axel into his place for the first time. He removed his shoes before he walked over and dropped his bag near the closet. Axel followed suit, but the bags he was carrying barely hit the ground before Roxas was kissing him. 

He pulled Axel down so their lips could connect. The kiss felt deep and soul searing as Roxas put everything he was feeling into it. All his growing emotions, all his uncertainty, even some of his pain. He moaned into the kiss as Axel kissed back, passionately and with matching fervor.

When they finally pulled back, Axel held him close and ran his hand through Roxas' hair, not letting him go anywhere. “What was that for?” Axel asked. He sounded breathless.

“Because I finally could,” Roxas answered honestly. And he found it was true. He finally could kiss Axel with everything he had - the good, the bad, and everything in between.

Axel smiled, his eyes never leaving Roxas’. Roxas wanted to drown in his gaze but settled for kissing him again.

“Mm, baby,” Axel moaned, pulling away from the kiss and sweeping his hands lower, down to Roxas’ hips, “too much of that and we will be celebrating with a whole different kind of fireworks.”

Roxas smiled and pressed himself up against Axel. “Sounds great to me,” he muttered as he pressed kisses to anywhere on Axel’s neck he could reach.

“Are you sure?”

It was a rhetorical question as far as Roxas was concerned, but he picked up on a strange, oddly soft, tone in the other man's voice - something like amazement, like he couldn’t believe what was about to happen, despite the fact that the redhead was certainly no stranger to sex.

Roxas leaned up and recaptured Axel’s lips, pulling them both back towards the unmade mattress until he felt the back of his legs hit the edge. He briefly had the thought that they should move to the couch, but as Axel continued to kiss him a hunger flared in his belly and his cock stirred to life in his jeans. He was confident he would do absolutely anything Axel asked of him in that moment.

He could melt into Axel’s kisses for hours, he decided. They were like an inferno, all consuming, incredibly overwhelming and extremely hot. Sweet and warm with just the right amount of teasing. Axel knew just how to suck on his lower lip or do that thing with his tongue that made Roxas’ knees go weak. Even if they never progressed beyond kissing again, Roxas felt like he just might be able to die happy. As it was, Axel’s kisses were igniting the blaze inside of him that he could feel spreading down his spine all the way to his toes.

Roxas let out a groan when he felt Axel’s mouth pull away slightly and start a trail of soft kisses along his jawline and up toward his ear. He never realized how sensitive he was there. It was heavenly. Axel didn’t rush as he traced up his cheek and licked the outside of his ear. He played there for a while, Roxas feeling like his body was on fire from his sucks and licks, before Axel leaned in and growled, “On the bed,” directly into Roxas’ ear.

Roxas immediately obeyed without question. He leaned back and practically sank into the mattress. _When had his bed gotten so comfortable?_ When Axel didn’t follow to pin him down into it further, Roxas propped himself up on his elbows to try and reach back up for the taller man. Instead he was mesmerized by the sight. 

Axel towered over him at the edge of the bed, crossing his arms across his waist and grabbing the bottom of his black hoodie. Roxas caught small glimpses of skin beneath the black fabric as Axel's fingers teased along the hem. Finally, with practiced ease, Axel lifted it and his shirt over his head in one smooth, sexy move.

Roxas watched, captivated, as inch by inch Axel’s beautiful skin was revealed. The sunlight streaming in from all the glass windows gave his body a slightly golden glow. The sight momentarily stole Roxas' breath away and his cock begged him for attention. Axel’s muscles seemed to shimmer when he moved and his body rippled as he finally leaned over, pinned Roxas under him, and started kissing him passionately again. 

Roxas wished he was no longer in the slightly ridiculous tank top, so he could feel their chests press together, skin to skin. Axel didn’t seem to let this deter him however, as he trailed the pads of his fingers up Roxas’ arms, each touch igniting tiny sparks that went directly to his cock. Roxas couldn’t suppress his reaction as the flame already burning inside him was fueled by the surprisingly soft caresses. It was entirely new, and yet felt so safe. 

_Feels so wonderful_ , Roxas thought as his cock strained against the redhead above him. Axel continued to kiss him into the mattress, snogging him into oblivion as his hands wandered lower and lower down Roxas’ torso. Roxas couldn’t help but move to press up into the touch and Axel’s heat above him. He could feel how hard Axel was getting above him, even catching a glimpse of the impressive outline of the hard cock struggling against his black skinny jeans.

Roxas reached his hands down towards the waistband of Axel’s jeans to free his prize, but at the same time Axel moved his hands to pull Roxas’ shirt over his head. The result was a collision of arms that would have been awkward with anyone else, but Axel expertly moved Roxas’ hands away, easily shifting him to lift off his shirt. It barely felt like they had even stopped the endless stream of kisses. 

Roxas groaned and the heat of their bodies pressed together. It was incredible, and he felt himself melting into the touch. He couldn’t remember feeling so hard in his life, and Axel hadn’t even touched his cock yet.

“Beautiful,” Axel said as he pulled back for the first time and traced his hand down Roxas’ chest, moving one long finger to flick at his nipple. Roxas tensed up at the touch with a cry. Axel smiled. 

“I love how responsive you are, baby,” he said, pressing a kiss to Roxas’ sternum. “Your body - it's like an open world. _Fuck_ , I don’t think I ever want to stop exploring…” Axel’s voice rang with emotion but trailed off as he made good on his promise and nipped at Roxas’ other nipple, sending hot jolts of pleasure throughout his whole body. Roxas arched up off the bed as each touch sparked on his skin.

“So sensitive,” Axel teased in between licks and nips, sucking on Roxas’ body like it was a treasure trove.

“Oohhh,” Roxas moaned, feeling boneless and speechless and hard as granite - his cock straining against the confines of his pants. Axel continued to suck on his nipple as his hands moved down, painfully slowly, before teasing his waistline. Roxas let out a small cry of relief that was quickly abandoned as Axel reached around to grab his ass through his pants - squeezing firmly and purposefully - before making smaller, softer motions that sent jolts of pleasure straight to Roxas’ cock.

Roxas writhed on the bed, feeling like putty as he came apart for the man above him. He could hardly believe how turned on he was and that Axel was causing it all - it felt like an insane fantasy - except it was _real_ and happening to him. He sank into the feeling as best he could while his body felt like it was on fire with passion and lust.

Slowly, nearly torturously, Axel began to lick down towards Roxas’ stomach. The redhead seemed to be spurred on by every single reaction he elicited from Roxas as he continued to massage his ass and kiss down his chest. Axel let out small contented moans of pleasure as he traced down Roxas’ body before finally undoing Roxas’ button with his teeth. Roxas noticed he had a wet spot on his pants from his precum as Axel rubbed his tattooed cheek against the hard length through the fabric before continuing to use his teeth to remove Roxas’ shorts and boxers, uncovering the leaking cock, a shiny drop of loot for the explorer.

The slow teasing drove him crazy, but when Roxas' cock finally sprang free he felt like he could cum on the spot. Axel reached down to squeeze his balls expertly in scorching hands, as if he knew Roxas was ready to explode. _Axel probably did know,_ Roxas conceded with a groan.

Continuing to cup his balls, Axel took him by surprise by swooping down to run his tongue up the underside of Roxas' cock, pausing to play with the slit at the tip. Roxas's hips jerked up wildly - Axel’s tongue felt like hot lava as he teased the head of his cock, making Roxas’ toes curl as he strained up into the warmth. 

Axel must have taken his motions and uncontrollable moans as a sign of encouragement, because he wrapped his lips around the head and slid his face down, taking Roxas’ entire length in his mouth. The heat and pressure was intense as Axel sucked on his cock - Roxas felt like the flames inside him had consumed his entire being. 

Throwing his head back, Roxas let out an erotic cry he hadn’t even known he had inside him. Lifting his legs to cradle Axel's head as the other man continued to suck him as if his life depended on it, he tried not to thrust upwards with reckless abandon - even though he wanted nothing more that to press deeper into Axel's mouth, who never stopped teasing him mercilessly with his tongue, bringing Roxas closer to the brink.

Just as Roxas felt the tightening in his groin reaching his tipping point, Axel squeezed his balls and pulled away again, moving Roxas’ legs gently but easily, leaning up to kiss him. The thought occurred to Roxas that Hayner had never so freely kissed him after sucking him off, or vice versa, but Axel crushed their lips together with as much heart and heat as earlier. Roxas felt something entirely new spark to life, adding to the already roaring fire within him, as he tasted himself on the other man's lips. It was intoxicating.

Roxas reached his hands down to Axel’s pants, suddenly determined to do everything he could to pull them off. They were tighter than his shorts though, and stuck to Axel like a second skin as he fumbled to pull them down without breaking their kiss. But he found he couldn’t concentrate, his brain had turned to mush and all he was doing was grabbing at Axel’s warm skin under his hands, melting his fingers on any part of him that he could reach.

Axel laughed softly, catching Roxas’ attention as he pulled away and stood up, giving him a little show of removing his pants. But it was his cock, unyielding against his stomach, that immediately captured all of Roxas’ attention. It was everything Roxas had ever imagined it would be - long, girthy, and radiating heat - and all Roxas wanted to do was touch him, lick him, taste him. _Fuck him into the mattress._ His mouth watered and his cock twitched.

Suddenly, Axel's hands covered his own and pinned them up above his head as the taller man leaned down and pressed their erections together.

“Feel that?” Axel purred into his ear, as if Roxas had the ability to answer other than a garbled moan. “That’s all for you, baby.”

Roxas felt his heart race and his blood felt like it was on fire as he kissed Axel with everything he had. Just the tone of Axel's voice alone would have had Roxas writhing and his cock throbbing, but as Axel ground their bodies together and Roxas felt Axel’s cock pressed against his own, he melted even further into the moment. Even just the slightest thrust of Axel's hips was causing Roxas to make small noises he never knew he could make before. His hips jerked of their own accord, needing to rub against the other body. Roxas would have never before described any sort of sex as ‘blissful’ but if ever there was a time that qualified it would be this.

“How do you want to…” Roxas asked, but his voice trailed off as he realized he didn’t want to finish the question because he didn’t care how they would cum, or if they would _ever_ cum. All he wanted was for this feeling to last forever. 

In response Axel wrapped his long fingers around them both, pulling up and down as they thrust together. Roxas let out a long moan before his lips were captured in a quick kiss.

“Lube, condoms,” Axel declared, his voice sounding far more overwhelmed than Roxas expected. Trailing his fingers down Roxas’ chest, the redhead left them there to play on his skin as his other hand reached for his abandoned pants to pull both of the aforementioned items out of his pocket.

Roxas wasn't about to question Axel having them - for now he was too pleased that the current activities would continue to dwell on that right now. He watched as Axel opened the condom packet with his teeth, and then, placing the condom in his mouth, he expertly unrolled it down Roxas’ cock in one smooth motion. 

Roxas stared wide eyed as Axel sucked and nibbled on his cock again. He almost couldn’t believe this was happening - it was his every fantasy come to life. Axel’s eyes were searing into his as he looked up at Roxas like he wanted to ride Roxas into next week.

“Roxy, I want to ride you,” Axel said when he came up for air. “Can I?”

Roxas felt like his mind exploded as he let out a breathless “yes,” and scooted back on the mattress. Axel pulled himself to straddle him as he lined his ass up with Roxas’ cock. Roxas watched as he reached back behind him to lube up the condom with one hand, and his ass with his other. It took talent, Roxas’ recognized dimly at the back of his mind, but then Axel would have a few tricks up his sleeve. Looking up into those green eyes above him though, he saw no tricks, just a man who looked at him like he couldn’t believe his luck.

“Ready, baby?” Axel asked him, and Roxas felt certain he’d never been more ready for anything in his _life._ He wanted to lean up and kiss him, capture those lips once again, but he also didn’t want to move so he could only nod and watch as Axel lifted himself up and pressed down onto the tip of his cock. 

The heat and tightness felt so intense Roxas felt like he would actually catch fire. He truly didn’t know how long he could hold out this time, as Axel slid himself down around him slowly, tracing patterns on Roxas’ chest as he did so. He looked so at ease with the motion - there were no traces of pain on his face, and his moans let Roxas know he was enjoying himself. At the back of his mind, Roxas wondered if Axel normally talked more during sex, but there was something so vulnerable about him in that moment that Roxas knew he would treasure it.

When Axel finally bottomed out it was with a moan so loud Roxas was sure the neighbors would hear. The heat around his cock was so incredible he had to dig his fingernails into his palms to keep himself from instantly cumming. It didn’t stop him from unleashing a moan though.

And then Axel started to _move._

He set a rhythm, up and down on Roxas' cock. The pleasure and heat was fierce as Axel leaned down to touch and kiss him. Without a conscious thought, Roxas moved his hand down to grab Axel’s cock, which felt thick in his hands, as he gave an experimental pull. He was determined that Axel _would cum_ this time and Roxas couldn’t wait to have the other man’s hot spunk all over him.

Roxas began to pump Axel’s cock faster in time with their thrusts. They were speeding up, rocking together, and Roxas could feel the pressure build in his groin. He was close.

“I’m- I’m going to cum,” he breathed out. “Axel, baby, I’m-”

“Yessss.” Axel leaned down to kiss him. “Cum for me, baby. Come _with_ me.”

And that was all the encouragement Roxas needed before the fire overtook him, lighting a fuse that led directly to a powder keg. He was cumming - as hard as he ever had in his life - deep inside Axel, just as ropes of hot cum exploded onto his chest. 

With a content and happy sound, Axel collapsed on top of him, pressing their bodies together, wrapping Roxas up in his arms and kissing the top of his head. They laid there in the afterglow, happily sated, as Roxas marveled at what was easily the best sex of his life. They hadn’t needed to communicate in words - they had let their bodies do all the talking, harmonizing together.

“That was incredible,” Roxas blurted out when Axel kissed the top of his head again. The taller man leaned up a little but not enough to detangle them - his ass still wrapped around Roxas’ softening cock. Their eyes connected and Roxas reached out to trace the tattoo under Axel’s left eye. “I love these,” he confessed, “they make you look even more amazing.”

Axel smiled at him softly. “Maybe someday I’ll tell you the story of them,” he said, his voice sounding oddly subdued and very adoring. “But for now we should probably get cleaned up.”

“Not without another kiss first,” Roxas insisted, leaning up to press his lips to Axel’s. He felt his cock slip out of Axel’s ass as his mouth was claimed - Axel’s arms wrapping perfectly around him.

“Too much of that and I’ll be trading one bed for another, Foxy Boy,” Axel teased with a smile.

“Would that really be so bad?” Roxas asked.

“Not at all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! ❤️ If all laundry days end like this one - sign me up! lol
> 
> Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for reading and subscribing. I noticed a bump after chapter 7 - welcome! I'm glad you're on this crazy ride with me. Strap in because it's going to be a long fic - the draft crossed the 68k mark recently, and it's still incomplete - so there is loads to come (much like our boys :D )
> 
> As always, Comments and Kudos make my life!
> 
> Come join me on [tumblr](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/) ♥️


	9. Axel packed

**Chapter 9 - Axel packed**

After they finally got cleaned up and Roxas gave Axel the two-bit tour of the apartment - something of a feat when the bed, couch and kitchen all occupied the same space - they went out and got some food. If his first intimate moment with Axel had sparked a lasting feeling in Roxas’ groin, their second time had sparked something in his heart. The heat in his chest that had become more of a constant feature now felt permanent, a bonfire lit as a signal for all the wayward and weary. 

The sensation was powerful enough that Roxas even managed to carry some of that glow into his week.

“You look happy,” Sora observed as they both clocked in for their closing shift. “Somebody special or do we need to hide a body?”

It was a mark of how far he’d come, Roxas decided, that he _almost_ laughed at Sora’s joke. Instead he shook his head. “No body.”

Sora laughed. A month ago, Roxas would have decked Sora by this point. Instead he let him laugh.

“Sora!” Demyx said, rounding the corner. “Can you jump on the registers please?”

“Sure thing,” Sora replied before turning back to Roxas. “I will solve this mystery. Detective Sora is on the case!”

“Mhm,” Roxas waved him off before turning to Demyx. “Need me to join him?”

“No, not right now - hasn’t been too bad today. But I do have a pile of ‘go-backs’ from the past two days - since you were off playing hookie.”

Roxas felt his cheeks flush, but he stood his ground. “It was my weekend, which I decided to take in full.” _He didn’t always need to pick up shifts._

“I was just giving you a hard time,” Demyx replied, “but now I wonder - anything you want to share?” 

Roxas didn’t really feel like sorting through his feelings with his manager, at least not right then, so he shook his head. “Nah, just took a full weekend is all.”

“Well within your rights.” Demyx smiled. “But we do miss you when you’re gone - nobody runs this backroom like you do.”

Roxas smiled.

“In fact,” Demyx continued pulling him aside into one of the rows of merchandise stock and lowering his voice slightly, “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. I have a new back stock manager position opening up. We just got budget approval.”

Roxas blinked up at him.

“I wanted to know if you would have any interest in applying. I can’t guarantee you the job, of course, and you would have to interview, but I would like to submit your resume with a good word to the higher ups. If you’re interested, of course.”

Roxas felt bile rise in his throat as memories of KeyChat reared their ugly head. _Did he want that much responsibility?_ He’d taken this job so he wouldn’t have as much responsibility. _Sure he’d been happier lately but was he ready to take that step?_

“Just think about it, yeah?” Demyx asked when Roxas didn’t reply. “I think it would be a really good fit, and you already know the stock better than anyone.”

Roxas nodded. “When do you need to know by?”

“The sooner, the better,” Demyx said, threading his fingers through his hair. “We have to submit candidates before the end of the month and I know corporate wants us to secure someone kind of fast.”

“Okay, I wouldn’t say I’m not interested in the role,” Roxas replied. _Old habits die hard._ “Give me a bit to pull together my resume.” He wondered if he could even look at his resume without breaking down. But then when he’d gotten this job he hadn’t even included his resume with his application - just a few odd jobs he’d had in college and his degree. Maybe that would be enough and he wouldn’t have to relapse back into his depression thinking about KeyChat.

 _Maybe it would be enough._ Just like he was learning with Axel - sometimes he needed a little faith when the unexpected came his way.

Demyx nodded. “I don’t know if I am supposed to do this, but I can send you a link to the role details from my personal email - that’s probably better than trying to text them, yeah?”

Roxas nodded as a thought occurred to him. “Do you even have my email?”

“Only the one you applied with - when they make you manager you’ll get a company one though.”

 _Great,_ Roxas thought with some measure of sarcasm, _it sounds like he’s already giving me the job._ He scolded himself for being so negative on it, but he just couldn’t get too excited about the prospect.

Something must have shown on his face though because Demyx frowned slightly. “Just trying to be positive,” he said, “I really do think you’re the best candidate.”

“Thanks,” Roxas said, managing a smile. “Send me the details and I’ll forward my resume.”

“Perfect.”

 _No, Axel’s perfect._ Roxas couldn’t even stop the thought as it crossed his mind. He turned to get back to work and tried not to let his cheeks flush.

“Oh and Roxas?” Roxas turned back around to see Demyx moving his arms, as if calling him back.

“Yeah?”

“Try to keep this between us for now, okay?” Demyx gave him a weak smile. “At least until things are formally posted.”

Roxas thought it was a slightly odd request but he shrugged. “Sure, no problem.”

“Thanks,” Demyx said, his smile getting bigger. “Let me know if you need anything else.” He said this like he hadn’t initiated the conversation and Roxas watched as he disappeared back into his office. “Oh, and Roxas?” he called back, “Can you please take care of the ‘send backs’ today? I noticed the box is overflowing”

“Sure, no problem,” Roxas replied, moving over to the ‘send backs’,or damages, box. Whenever they got a return or a shipment of a product they couldn’t sell on the floor for any reason it was put into the damages box to be sent back to the company. Around once a month or so they accumulated enough to put it all into a box and ship it back. Roxas didn’t fully understand why the company _wanted_ the damaged goods back, but it was part of his job to make sure it was taken care of.

And nobody could ever accuse Roxas of not taking care of his assignments.

When Hayner had created KeyChat, they had both been made co-owners. Hayner had been very excited the day they put it into their names - it was his baby after all. Roxas just saw it as a way to help out his boyfriend and potentially make munny post-college. Roxas had had a few odd jobs through school - mowing lawns in the summers was a big one - but he’d always worked for himself.

After he graduated he and Hayner had shifted to working on KeyChat full time. Hayner had wanted to put Roxas’ business degree to good use, and their combined tech skills were perfect for app development. They worked together well and balanced each other out - when Hayner’s ideas would get too big for the business, Roxas would reel him back in, and when Roxas couldn’t dream big enough Hayner would help open his eyes. There were a lot of sleepless nights spent working on ideas, munching on popcorn or bags of pretzels until all that remained were kernels and salt at the bottom.

Roxas had always liked the idea of being the boss of something one day. Working for someone, under a set of pre-set rules and regulations, never sat well with him. That’s why he’d gone into business in the first place. He had wanted to be independent and self-sufficient, so nobody could uproot him ever again - something his parents had done one too many times in his childhood. It was already driving a rift between them - and that was _before_ he’d come out as gay. While they hadn’t disowned him like Hayner’s family, their relationship had become even more strained than it already had been. Roxas was lucky if he heard from them three times a year: on his birthday, Christmas, and then again on New Year’s. 

When he’d found Hayner he had reluctantly called home to share the news. He was still in shock, so not much was said - just a brief explanation, which was all he could muster without breaking down into sobs. Surprisingly his mother had come to the funeral - Roxas hadn’t been able to hold back his tears when he saw her. They sat together in the hall for a long hour, her hand tracing circles on his back while he broke down into his hands, soaking his shirt. But that was the last time he’d seen her, and he wasn’t sure what, if anything, his father knew about how his last relationship had ended. 

The conversation with Demyx was throwing him back to an ugly place he thought he was finally crawling out of. Maybe the management role _would_ be good for him. He liked his coworkers, and he knew he did his job well. He couldn’t even say that it would be the first time he worked for someone other than himself - this job had already cured him of that streak. But still he mused, as he sorted through the damaged merchandise and packed it up to pass off to Zack to send back to the company, it somehow felt icky managing the staff for a company other than his own.

With the box taped and sealed, Roxas let out a sigh. He felt like this was all sending him careening back down the rabbit hole he’d just started to crawl out of. But he could also feel the change - instead of drowning in the past, he felt like he had more control over his emotions and was becoming less prone to being swept up with the tide.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. The motion caused him to jump a little - he didn’t remember putting his phone on ‘vibrate’. It spurred him on to move all the boxes to the bay by the back door for delivery collection before excitedly pulling it out as fast as he could, expecting to see a text from Axel.

He nearly dropped it to the floor when he saw Pence’s name light up the screen. Feeling a swift, sharp crash inside him, he opened the message.

 **Pence:** **_Hi Roxas. Olette and I have been wanting to check in with you. Please give us a call? Maybe we can all go out for that coffee sometime soon?_ **

Roxas read the text twice through, suddenly feeling very overwhelmed as his blood ran cold. Deciding he couldn’t deal with writing a reply to it at that moment, at least not until he calmed down and decided if continuing to avoid seeing his old friends was better than simply dealing with a short meeting over coffee, he popped open his texts with Axel. Roxas smiled, remembering texting Axel in between playing video games - their last exchange from the night before reflected up at him.

 **AXEL:** **_Roxy baby! I’d rather be gaming than packing._ **

**Roxas:** **_Get on my level and you could be._ **

**AXEL: Gr.** **_While you’re hanging out in virtual reality I’m playing real life Minecraft over here._ **

**Roxas:** **_Lol. It can’t be that bad - think of it as an achievement unlocked?_ **

**AXEL:** **_OH - you can unlock something alright. How about you put your keyblade in my keyhole?_ **

**Roxas:** **_I’m sure that could be arranged - after you finish._ **

**AXEL:** **_But it's my job to help you finish!_ **

After that Axel had picked up the phone and called him and they had continued talking while Axel packed up his room piece by piece and Roxas killed virtual zombies. Roxas found the corners of his lips turning up slightly remembering their conversation. It filled him with sparks of warmth. He typed **_Miss you._** He sent it without thinking too much about it and shoved his phone back into his pocket. He didn’t expect to hear back from Axel right away, but he secretly hoped he would.

“Oh Roxas, are those the damages?” 

Demyx’s voice caused Roxas to look at the boxes he’d just stacked up. The pile reminded him of the other day when he’d offered to help Axel move. Stubbornly the redhead had insisted he’d wanted to do it himself. “I don’t want you to see me move out of my room at the bar,” Axel had told him, “and I think I need to move by myself to prove I can do it.”

“Okay,” Roxas had cautiously agreed, “but I really liked your room at the bar and I don’t mind-”

“That room, while mine, holds many memories - and I don’t want you mixed in with them any more than you already are. I don’t allow myself to forget easily, remember?”

Roxas nodded, he definitely wouldn’t be forgetting _that_ anytime soon. “Please though. If you need help, please ask. We’re still playing a co-op game, right?”

“Always.” Axel had smiled at him and grabbed his hand with a squeeze. “You’ll be the first one to see my new place - I promise.” And then Axel had kissed him to seal it all and there hadn’t been much talking after that.

“Roxas?” Demyx’s voice called again, bringing Roxas back out of the memory, “everything, okay?”

“Huh? Oh yeah. Those boxes are our damages.”

“Thanks for taking care of those - I know we let things pile up this time.”

“They’re still going out as scheduled.” Roxas shrugged in the direction of the boxes. “I guess we’ve just been busier than usual lately.”

Demyx nodded. “We have. Hence the er, _increased budget_ conversation we had earlier.” He smiled like he had a secret, despite Roxas knowing exactly what he was talking about.

“Any ideas why?”

Demyx shook his head. “Not my department to analyze that - thank God.” He looked genuinely relieved as he said it. “Zexion would probably enjoy it though. He loves all that analytics and science-y school-stuff.”

“How is it going with him?”

“Good.” Demyx’s eyes lit up. “Really good actually. My two month anniversary plans ended up being a hit and,” he lowered his voice, “I won’t give you the sordid details, but things went better than I ever expected them too.”

“That’s great!” Roxas found he actually meant the words, shocking himself with his own sincerity. It felt like his old self for just a second. “What did you do? The stuff you can tell me about, I mean.” Roxas smiled.

“I, ah, kinda wrote him a song.”

Roxas snapped his mouth closed to not have his jaw hit the floor. If someone did something like that for _him-_

“I know, it’s a bit much, but I gave him the sheet music and then played it - and did my best to sing it too.”

“That’s really sweet,” Roxas said honestly, “I’m sure he loved it.”

Demyx nodded with a smile. “It went over really well. I was originally going to ask him to move in with me - my roommate moved out a few weeks ago to move in with his boyfriend - but I thought that might be too much. Plus, when I started thinking about it, I decided if we do take that step I’d think I want us to get a place together. It would be nice to get to that point this time.”

Roxas thought of Axel moving and wondered if they would ever get to that point. With Hayner they’d already been roommates, but the idea of picking out a place with Axel _together,_ one that would be theirs made the fire inside him spark wildly. Even if it was a shitty apartment somewhere, it would be _their_ crappy apartment. Together.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and Roxas smiled as he clicked open his messages and looked at the picture Axel just sent him - a selfie of himself with a bright smile, holding his fingers in a peace sign, posing with tall stacks of boxes behind him. Roxas couldn’t help but smile - he found himself hoping that one day those boxes might join in with some of his own in a new place. The thought didn’t even hurt - instead of painful, he found the thought... moving.

Roxas bit back a small groan as the fantasy receded, and chewed his lip - he wondered if Axel had it as bad as he did. Judging by everything the other man was doing for him - for _them_ \- he was willing to place his bets high.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ballad of Demyx and Zexion moves forward. I love having them in the background of this fic. 
> 
> Think Roxas will move forward with the job? Will he meet up with Pence and Olette? Will Roxas ever move in with Axel? The suspense is building :D
> 
> I know this chapter was a little shorter but I am working on a much longer chapter ten so hopefully that will make up for it next week.
> 
> Comments and Kudos are love ❤️ and I love you all!!!
> 
> Join me on [tumblr](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/) for more goodness


	10. hard Rox life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter mentions a GED, which has come to my attention is a very culturally American concept. I have put together an additional explainrer in the notes at end of the chapter but for those who are unaware, a GED (General Educational Development) is obtained when an individual did not complete high school through sitting a series of exams on various subjects. If passed, it is equavilent to a high school diploma. Besides being necessary to pursue higher education, much of the job market in the US is gated behind having a high school diploma or GED. It is very common for individuals who dropped out of high school to find themselves needing to obtain a GED in their 20s, 30s, or older.
> 
> Amazing fanart was created for this chapter by @shaky-mayhemm - link in end notes.

**Chapter 10 - hard Rox life**

“No peeking!”

“Considering you’ve blindfolded me and have your hands over my eyes, that’s slightly impossible,” Roxas said dryly with a small laugh, even though his stomach was burning with anticipation.

He hadn’t expected Axel to show up on his doorstep and kidnap him, or ‘shrimp-nap’ him as Axel had called it jokingly, but he couldn't say that he wasn't on board with it and at least a little bit curious. He hadn’t seen the redhead in three days, and he had been missing him like crazy - when the redhead turned up on his doorstep, Roxas had immediately tried to sweep him up in a kiss. Instead Axel had swept him up and was now leading him to destination unknown. 

Even if he could peek, he'd need to also have a world map to really have a clue at this point just where Axel had taken him. He couldn’t even tell where he was in the building they had entered a bit ago. Axel’s laugh behind him spread through his body like wildfire as he stepped closer to press himself up against Roxas. In the darkness Axel felt so tall, imposing, and very hot. Roxas leaned back into the embrace.

“My, my, so sassy,” Axel said, leaning down to whisper in Roxas’ ear. “Where’s your sense of adventure, wild Roxy?”

_Where was his sense of adventure?_ Roxas felt like he’d lost it long ago - but suddenly he wanted it back. He chose to ignore the direct question, fearing he didn't even have enough of that adventurous spirit in him anymore. “Is seeing this surprise not enough?” 

“Hmmm, maybe I should keep you in suspense a little longer, buttercup.” Axel licked up the shell of Roxas’ ear, causing him to shiver. “Ooh, someone likes that!”

Roxas let out a ‘hmph’ but it sounded more like a groan. “Of course I like that,” he replied softly, trying to make his voice sound sexy. “What’s not to like?” He pressed his ass back into Axel but had to push himself up on his tiptoes to give himself any sort of leverage and lost his footing. He would have fallen over had it not been for Axel’s arms wrapped tightly around him. Roxas leaned greedily into the touch. “Hmm,” he moaned. “Am I allowed to explore you now?”

Axel’s chuckle in reply seemed to surround him, causing his heart to beat a little faster in his chest and igniting his blood. 

“I wish I could see you,” Roxas complained, “even more than the surprise. I missed you, you know.” An admission like that while blindfolded felt safer somehow, and he felt like he could practically feel Axel’s smile and bright green eyes staring down at him.

“As much as I love the idea of keeping you blindfolded, I guess I _could_ restore your sight now - if you promise not to-”

But Axel swiftly pulled off the blindfold and his voice faded to the background as Roxas took in the sight of the room before him. He didn’t know what he was expecting to see but it wasn’t this. The room’s walls were covered floor to ceiling with posters that must have taken hours to put up and a lifetime to collect - Roxas spied bands from decades ago as well as the most recent Jars of Flame tour poster mixed in, the four elements trapped in literal jars - but there were also some foreign bands and even a couple gaming and movie posters mixed in. In the corner by the window was a stand that held a beautiful vintage-looking electric guitar. Roxas’ gaze paused on it briefly trying to recall if Axel had never mentioned he’d played before, but he couldn't remember the redhead ever saying.

Continuing to take in the space, Roxas noticed a bed - slightly smaller than the one he still remembered from Axel's room - pressed up against the opposite wall. Roxas wondered if Axel had bought a new one. It was covered in what looked like a new black bedspread that had white cracks running through it to imitate the look of marble, or maybe lightning. Roxas’ eyes flicked up to the ceiling where he noticed a few of those glow-in-the-dark stars had been stuck up, before scanning back down over the opposite wall where Axel’s TV and gaming equipment were all set up - set against a backdrop of even more posters, of course.

“What do you think, firecracker?” Axel said as Roxas took in the room before moving down to kiss his cheek. “I promised you you’d be the first person to see it.”

“It’s great!” Roxas said excitedly, honestly. “It feels very you.”

“Is that so?” Axel leaned in toward him, looking him right in the eye. Roxas nodded, his mouth suddenly dry under Axel’s green gaze. “Good, it’s the first time I’ve really had my own room.” Roxas opened his mouth to ask but Axel continued, “I shared with my brother. Then I kind of bounced around for a bit. And the room at Xion’s, while mine, also wasn’t mine, you know? This,” his voice sounded suddenly proud, as he stretched out his arms in a grand gesture as if to show it off, “is infinitely better.”

Roxas had to agree. As much as he’d liked Axel’s private room, this felt much more like the man he’d come to know so well.

“I was going to paint, but then I thought I didn’t know how long I would be here, and I didn’t want to paint it all back over when I left so I put all these up instead.”

“I love them. They must have taken years to collect. I’m impressed.”

Axel grinned at him, but he didn’t confirm or deny Roxas’ suspicions. Instead he leaned down to kiss him on the lips. Passionately. The kiss spread through Roxas, enthusiastic and very smokey, as he pressed himself back up into Axel’s mouth. The warmth of his tongue as he teased and sucked on Roxas’ lips caused Roxas’ cock to stand at attention, seeking more from the man who was making him feel so good. “Door-” was all he managed to get out before Axel kicked it shut behind him and swept Roxas off his feet. Catching him by surprise, Roxas fell into his arms with a small, slightly embarrassing, squeak.

Axel laughed. “You’re so cute and perfect - like the sweetest cinnamon roll. Plus you fit so well in my arms.”

“That doesn’t even make any sense - cinnamon rolls always fit! But you are going to have to put this one down.” Roxas found himself smiling and laughing at the same time, all traces of embarrassment gone.

“I don’t think I will,” Axel said sagely, before his tone turned teasing, "I never put my cinnamon rolls down until I'm finished with them. And then I lick my fingers clean.” Axel rubbed their noses together as Roxas rolled into his chest, feeling the strength of his wiry muscles move beneath him to support his weight - it felt so natural to be in his arms. “In fact-” 

Axel moved them towards the bed and lightly tossed Roxas onto it, where he bounced twice - proving Axel’s point. Roxas barely managed to sit back up when a suddenly shirtless Axel leaned over him, pushing him back onto the blankets. Roxas wasted no time leaning up to reconnect their lips. The undying flames were back, licking up the sides of his body as Axel ran his hands up under his shirt.

“Ah, Roxy,” Axel moaned, stretching out over him, “you’re so-”

But Roxas didn’t get to find out what Axel thought he was as he flipped their positions and pushed Axel onto his back, taking the redhead completely by surprise. Coyly Roxas dipped his hands lower and slowly unzipped Axel’s pants all while looking up at his intense green gaze - the purple tattoos under Axel’s eyes nearly as captivating as his gaze. Axel watched, seemingly in a daze as Roxas worked, his hot cock tenting his jeans deliciously, waiting to be uncovered.

Roxas flashed Axel what he hoped was a devilish smile and what he thought of as his best sexy eyes. He knew he had nothing on Axel’s skills, but he must have more of an effect than he thought he did because the other man looked completely speechless and in awe as Roxas moved lower. Unhooking the button of Axel’s pants, he relished the view of the outline of Axel’s cock pressed up in his tight underwear. The sight combined with the sultry, smokey smell that Roxas could only describe as the essence of Axel went straight to Roxas’ own cock - which was already hard as a rock in his pants. Teasingly he ran one finger along the outline of Axel’s dick, tracing his hardon as delicately as he could - even as he felt like he might explode from the heat radiating off of it.

Deciding he couldn’t wait any longer for his prize, Roxas reached out and pulled off those tight boxers and allowed Axel’s cock to spring free. It was as long and girthy and mouthwatering as he remembered. He reached out and ran his fingers over the tip gently, the skin feeling like silk under his fingers. As the beads of precum built up there, Roxas didn’t want to wait any longer to taste what was on offer and boldly took a swipe off the tip before bringing it up to his lips to lick it off. It was so incredibly sexy and very, very good. Axel tasted just how he thought he would - smokey with a hint of spice.

“Oh baby,” Axel moaned as Roxas swirled his tongue around his finger, “do you even know how hot you are right now, bright eyes? You’re driving me crazy!”

Roxas pulled his finger out of his mouth. “That’s the idea,” he teased as he kissed down Axel’s neck. Sliding his hand down Axel’s stomach, his hand traced over lickable abs before giving way to Axel’s cock. Closing his fist around the hard rod, Roxas began stroking as he pressed hot kisses to Axel’s chest and nipples, reveling in the small twitches and moans Axel was making beneath him as he moved lower and lower. He moved his tongue along his hips when Axel jerked up off the bed.

“Ooh, someone likes that,” Roxas teased, using Axel’s words from earlier while stroking the delicate area with his finger. “Sensitive?”

“You have no idea,” Axel panted as he sank back into the bed. His hip was still quivering beneath Roxas’ fingers as he moved to kiss it again before venturing lower to lick up Axel’s inner thigh and play with his balls, enjoying teasing the sensitive skin there as well. He could feel the heat from Axel’s cock above him and his own cock throbbed with want. But he pushed down his own desire for just a moment - this was all about Axel. 

“Ah!” Axel cried when Roxas finally licked up the underside of his cock. The taste of Axel on his tongue was intoxicating and he wanted more instantly. Eagerly he took the length of him in as deeply as he could, Axel hitting the back of his throat. The musky scent and smokey taste were intoxicatingly potent as he sucked with reckless abandon, wanting to take in as much of the other man as he could.

Bobbing his head up and down, Roxas blew Axel with everything he had. He lowered his mouth as close to the base as he could and reached out to roll Axel’s balls in his hands. They felt so full and heavy, and Roxas didn’t want to ever stop touching or tasting the man beneath him. There was something so exhilarating about being able to do this, and knowing _he_ was the only one getting Axel off. Moving his fingers to tease the sensitive spot he’d discovered on Axel’s hip, he was rewarded when the man arched off the bed, pressing himself up into Roxas’ mouth.

Tightening his lips to increase the suction, Roxas welcomed Axel’s cock and twisted his tongue around every inch of the hot length that he could. Resting his tongue on the root of that vein at the base of his lover’s cock and swore he could feel Axel’s pulse, rapid and erotic, pounding in sync with both of their erratic breathing. 

Axel’s fingers moved to curl over the nape of his neck forcing Roxas to look up at him. Their eyes locked, each with a passionate smoldering, and Roxas suddenly found himself with feelings of something, _love,_ that was rocketing to the heat in his stomach, despite the obvious blockage. As Axel guided his head back down, Roxas sucked, slow and steady, swirling his tongue around the base whenever he could. He already knew he was doing well but when Axel began to lift his hips in time with his motions - short, sharp ‘ah’s of pleasure bursting from him - he knew Axel must be getting close. 

A strangled cry caused him to look up as Axel threw his head back in ecstasy, squirming at Roxas’ every touch, his breaths uneven and his hands gripping the bedding. The sight caused Roxas to reach down and finally free his own cock, which was painfully hard in his pants.

“Baby,” Axel cried, “need more.” His hands came to tangle gently in Roxas’ hair as he continued to suck, reaching around to knead Axel’s ass. It felt firm in his hands, as he trailed his fingers down his crack to tease just a little bit.

_“Yes!”_ Axel moaned out. “There’s some lube,” he gestured vaguely to his right as if trying to reach for it.

Roxas continued to suck and tease for a few more seconds before lifting himself up. Already missing Axel’s taste he climbed back up over his lover and locked their lips together, their lengths lining up so the tip of Axel’s cock met the base of Roxas’ own. They kissed deeply, pressing together tightly, until Roxas thought he might either die of oxygen deprivation or have his cock explode without even being touched. He slowly pulled himself up. “You were saying?”

Axel grinned devilishly as he held up a condom and what looked like a new bottle of lube.

“Steps ahead of me, I see,” Roxas grinned.

“One of us has to be prepared.” Axel smiled. “And besides - it’s dangerous to go it alone.”

They both smiled a little too much at the cheesy joke as Roxas opened the condom and rolled it on - remembering the previous time when Axel had done it with his teeth. _He'd have to learn that skill one day,_ he thought as he lubed himself up - pouring some on his fingers then moving them down to tease Axel’s entrance, using his other hand to stroke his cock.

Axel was tight and hot as Roxas opened him up. By the second finger, Axel started riding them like a pro - pushing back as Roxas scissored him, his hole heated and gaping and ready to be fucked. He wasn’t prepping for long before Axel reached behind and guided his fingers away in favor of his cock. 

Roxas eagerly moved to line up his cock with Axel’s hole and pushed in - his cockhead immediately enveloped in Axel’s heat. He started rocking, slow inward movements, pulling back and pushing in a little deeper each time, feeling his blood run red-hot - their connection undeniable. Soft moans filled the room as Roxas settled deeper with every small thrust. The feel of Axel caressing his shaft was blissful. When he finally bottomed out with a grunt, balls deep, he reclaimed Axel’s mouth and felt intense heat encircle both of them.

Axel pulled back with a command. “Move, baby.” The volume was a whisper on air, but it roared like a fire in Roxas’ ears. He could feel the inferno build as he pumped in and out, slowly at first but building a rhythm in time with Axel’s own thrusts - their collective moans spurring him on as Roxas moved deeper, feeling his ball slap against Axel’s ass. It was intense and his brain shut off all other things except the man in front of him - who looked like he was just as lost to the flames as Roxas was.

Roxas knew he was not going to last long as he pounded Axel into the mattress - the man beneath him melting into the bedding as Roxas claimed his ass, the view of his lover consuming his very soul. The sensation along his shaft as he felt his balls tighten told him he would cum soon. He panted hard, looking down at Axel, grabbing the neglected cock and stroking in time with his thrusts. ''Fuck- Axel, cum with me.''

“Yes, Roxy - fill me up.” Axel moaned and Roxas obliged, pushing into him as deep as he could go and exploded, his cock shooting and head spinning as he came until he had nothing left to give. Axel shot his load all over his stomach, molten and sexy, as rope after rope covered them both. They grinned at each other, the goofy loving grins that came after mindblowing sex, as Roxas collapsed on top of Axel.

Gently, and with far more care than Roxas was expecting, long arms came up and surrounded Roxas, pulling him down to Axel’s chest. He pressed his cheek there and found he could hear Axel's heartbeat. It was strong and steady, if a little sped up, and Roxas decided he liked the sound - it was reassuring and measured, like it would always be there.

“That’s beyond sex,” Axel said, leaning down to kiss the top of Roxas’ head. 

“Yeah?” Roxas said, sleepily. Content and happy and a whole bunch of other emotions welling up in his chest. But then, he decided, of the two of them Axel would know. 

“Yeah,” Axel murmured, “I swear you’re my heart.”

Roxas glanced up at that and found Axel looking down at him, downing in his gaze, an odd glint in his eyes. “Because sex without you feels like nothing - like nobody’s even trying.”

The words were like pouring gasoline on an already roaring fire inside him as Roxas did his best to wrap his arms around Axel and hold him close. He felt aflame, burning with desire, despite having already cum so very hard. Every nerve ending lit up as he lay there with this man who made him _feel_ so much. He didn’t quite know what to do with it all.

“How about we get cleaned up and get some food?” Axel said after a while, leaning down to kiss the top of Roxas’ head. “We can go out, or order in takeout, or go pick something up - whatever you want to do.”

Roxas smiled, turning his head to trace small patterns on Axel’s chest. “Hmm, how about we get some sea-salt ice cream?”

“I was thinking more like dinner,” Axel said with a grin, “but there’s always room for dessert.”

“Oh, _I know_ _,”_ Roxas joked, lifting himself up. “C’mon - let’s get clean before I have some more pound cake.”

“Oh, babycakes.” Axel chuckled. “You can have as much pound cake as you want, anytime you want it.”

“Mm,” Roxas hummed, the corners of his lips turning up, “frosting too?”

“Don’t get greedy,” Axel warned with a teasing grin.

“But you always have to frost your cinnamon roll!” 

Axel’s returning laugh sent sparks of happiness all down Roxas’ spine.

* * *

Roxas went into the rest of his week in something of a disbelieving daze. No matter how much time he spent with Axel there was this weird mix of elation and incredulity that played on repeat in the back of his mind. As much as he’d wanted this, as much as he loved each and every thing that Axel was doing for him _\- doing for them,_ his brain tried to supply - he couldn’t help but doubt his own reality. It all felt slightly too good to be true, but at the same time he never wanted to let go. It all felt so natural - even as his brain refused to settle down. 

Questioning reality was nothing new to Roxas. In fact, it had been his life ever since Hayner had left him, leaving behind a book of memories and a sorry collection of papers for Roxas to deal with. The tall stack of documents had been everything Hayner’s life had boiled down to for his last months - bills, KeyChat investor contracts, medical statements, and the final court files. All were pressing and required his attention, and yet all of them had been drowned out by the words that Hayner had left specifically for him - sentences that Roxas had poured himself over, night after night, kept awake by the deep sense of loss he felt, just hoping it would be reflected in Hayner’s final words for him. That there would be some hidden meaning. In the process all he managed to do was memorize them like one might remember song lyrics.

Lyrics to the saddest song there was, one Roxas couldn’t bring himself to repeat.

The words from Hayner’s final note were a massive weight on Roxas’ psyche, burrowing themselves beneath all logic and reason and crushing him under the force. Most of his days had been spent trying his damned not to think of them, but with the help of Yen Sid working his psychological magic Roxas now had some tools to help him work through it as best he could, though most of the time he still forgot to use them. With all the sudden changes in his life, he often couldn’t stop his mind from bringing up old anxieties.

He constantly had to remind himself that the more recent changes had all been good ones. 

Perhaps the most shocking thing was how easily Axel fit into his life. He never would have dreamed, before he’d walked into that brothel, that the man he'd pay to sleep with him would end up giving it all up for him.

“Larxene is going to have a fit if she catches you staring off into space,” Naminé said sweetly but very urgently near Roxas’ ear while peering over his shoulder.

Her voice called Roxas back as he kneeled in front of a small mountain of socks. He was redoing the displays at Larxene’s request - moving the costume jewelry to the front of the store and freeing up their old display space to hold pairs of socks depicting everything from fuzzy rainbows and unicorns, to the four Hogwarts houses, to Mickey and Minnie Mouse. Some even had food motifs - Roxas had wondered what Axel would think of the pair that looked like a bowl of ramen and had hung those first, right in between the pair made to look like hot sauce packets and another with adorable little sushi-cats. He’d stalled on where to display the pair that depicted a blond anime character who was currently glaring up at him and instead had fallen deep into thought.

“I think those would look nice there.” Naminé pointed to the right of a green haired character Roxas had already hung up. “He’d probably appreciate the view if nothing else,” she giggled, her laugh sounding melodical as Roxas looked up at her quizzically. “Wait - do you not watch the show?” Her laughter faded into something more like disbelief as Roxas shook his head. He hadn’t even realized that the two were from the same show. “It’s _so_ good!” she gushed with a smile, “Just trust me - people will probably buy both together if you put them right next to each other.”

“Thanks,” Roxas said sincerely.

“You should watch it. It’s seriously good. And-” Naminé cut herself off when the back room door opened behind him - he could feel the draft. “I’ll tell you about it later,” she said, righting herself and swiftly moving back towards the registers. Roxas held in the sigh that tried to escape, but only just - Namine's reaction told him all he needed to know about who had walked through the back door. 

“How’s the display coming along, Roxas?”

“Not bad,” Roxas said, tilting his head up to look at his manager. Larxene’s hair looked like it had extra gel in it today - or that might just be the angle at which he was looking up at her. The lights were bouncing off it more than normal. “Just organizing the socks now.”

Larxene nodded, but didn’t say anything more. It was a little weird, but Roxas certainly wasn’t going to call her back as she walked away. He turned back to the pile in front of his knees, trying to work to the beat of the store’s music – it was the terrible corporate mix because that was what Larxene always insisted – but it was repetitive, boring, and grating. To make matters worse, every three hours or so it would play a song that reminded him of his and Hayner’s last ever kiss, and it used to make him want to break something every time he heard it.

Not that he could stand the song even now. That was another reason he liked working in the back.

_If you’re manager, you could play whatever you wanted._ The thought played through his mind as he reached for a new pile of socks to hang. He hadn’t talked to Axel about it yet, but he’d prepped his resume to send off to Demyx next time he saw his manager. All he had to do was forward the email - it was sitting, ready to go, in his draft folder.

_“What are you doing?”_ The words were hissed and Roxas subconsciously straightened his spine, despite still kneeling. He knew enough to know when Larxene was upset, and it took him a minute to realize her words weren’t directed at him.

“Is that anyway to greet an old friend? I could put the same question to you.” 

Roxas felt his blood run cold - he’d know that voice anywhere. 

_An old friend?_

Larxene must have said something back, but it was just out of earshot, or just low enough for Roxas not to be able to make it out.

“Well, if you must know, I stopped by to shop with my boyfriend. Didn’t know you’d be here though. Would have rethought my plans.” Axel’s voice held an edge of danger.

_“Boyfriend?_ Last I heard you don’t do long-term relationships.”

“Well, last I heard, you were holed up in your den of liars and betrayers - not working retail. Things can change.”

Roxas felt something in him swell as Axel stood up to Larxene - even as his brain worked overtime. _Liars and betrayers?_

“Roxas!” Larxene’s voice called over to him. Roxas felt a cold dread wash over him. How did she know Axel was here to see _him?!_ Granted it was just him and Namine working today – no Sora, _thank god_ – so that limited who qualified as Axel’s unnamed boyfriend. _Boyfriend,_ his mind stalled on the word. They hadn’t really discussed the extent of their relationship yet. Now was not really the time though, given Larxene’s current reaction. Thinking back, she had seen Axel’s name on his phone screen weeks ago. She hadn’t said a word, but there was no doubt that she thought he was Axel’s boyfriend. _He was Axel’s boyfriend-_

_“Roxas!”_

“Yes?” Roxas stood up and socks fell off his lap, scattering everywhere all over the floor. He could feel his cheeks flush as he looked over at the two of them, Larxene with her stern expression and arms crossed was making Axel look so very sexy by comparison as he stood in a long sleeve black shirt and matching skinny jeans that hugged him like a glove. Roxas felt his mouth go dry as Axel stared her down, desire and anxiety mixing in his blood and causing his stomach to burn. Roxas wasn’t sure what the bad blood was, or how they even knew each other, but from Axel’s intimidating stare and her stony eyes it was palpable in the air between them.

“I have a personal shopping assignment for you,” Larxene said, addressing Roxas as she continued to glare at Axel. “You better not screw it up and find something he likes.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I already found something I like.” Axel smirked. “And not much would screw it up.” Roxas felt embers in his stomach and sparks down his spine, slowly spreading warmth throughout his body.

Larxene glanced between them before letting out a _humph_ and storming back to the back office - not without one last glance at them though as the door swung shut behind her.

“Hi, shortstack!” Roxas tried not to roll his eyes at the nickname as Axel moved close and kissed him on the cheek. He decided to let the warm feelings win out over his anxiety and even the _short_ nickname - next to Axel most people were short anyways. “Why didn’t you tell me your manager was the Wicked Witch of the West?”

“I didn’t realize you two knew each other,” Roxas replied, narrowing his eyes in the direction in which his manager had disappeared. “Dare I ask-”

_“Later.”_ Axel’s voice held a warning tone and he gave a slight frown before looking at Roxas and grinned at him, a small but real smile that made his green eyes light up. “I was in the neighborhood and thought I would drop by. I tried to text you-”

“Yeah, no phones on the floor when the _Wicked Witch of the West_ is in charge,” Roxas explained with a small, slightly uncomfortable, laugh. “Sorry, I didn’t see it. If I’d had my phone on me, I would have warned you, or something.” He wasn’t sure how he could have warned Axel, seeing as he didn’t know he knew Larxene until just now, but he could have persuaded him to wait until after his shift was over. Roxas felt his cheeks heat up under Axel’s gaze, so he leaned over and picked up a pair of the socks that had gone rogue when he’d stood up so suddenly. 

“Hey, no apologizing, babycakes.” Axel hooked his hand under Roxas’ chin, forcing him to stand back up. “Great things are afoot, babe. I can feel it in my sole. Aren’t you going to ask me why I was in the neighborhood?”

“You mean you didn't want to shop with y-" _your_ _boyfriend,_ his brain supplied but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. "W- with me," he managed to force out, lightly thwacking Axel's wrist with the pair of socks he was holding - only now noticing they had peeled bananas all over them. "A nd did you just make a really bad _sock_ pun?”

“Of course I did - do you _see_ how amazing these are?!” Axel took the socks in his hands, “And I call shopping with you a perk, sweet cheeks. Especially when you hand me _bananas.”_

Roxas smiled, feeling the sparks in his chest and his cheeks warm. “I love giving you my banana,” he said, almost shyly.

“And I love when I get it,” Axel said as he reached into his pocket, purposely directing Roxas’ gaze down to his groin, as he pulled out a folder of paper and handed it over. Roxas took it and carefully opened it. Looking up at Axel, who was nodding down at him, he turned his head back to read - the page listed out a full schedule of four GED tests - locations, dates, times, topics and even test durations. 

“You signed up for the test!” Roxas felt a huge smile spread across his face as pride swelled in his chest. 

“My roommate’s boyfriend helped me to register today,” Axel’s voice sounded serious but also held a hint of excitement. “He’s got all these connections with the school system and even some of the universities around. He told me he can help me prep, but not the fun kind. More with studying and-”

“I’ll help you too!” Roxas offered, “I mean, I can, if you want. I passed all my business classes a while ago, but I think I can still manage some highschool math and I was always good at English-”

“Math shouldn’t be my problem, sweet cheeks,” Axel said happily. “Was always decent at it. Numbers. But English and Science could really use a brush up.”

“Are you excited? You seem excited.”

“I don’t know about _excited,_ but I couldn’t wait to tell you,” Axel replied, and Roxas felt warm all over. “It feels like stage one.”

“It _is_ stage one.” Roxas grinned. “Or at least level one. When I get off my shift we will celebrate!”

Axel leaned down and kissed him full on the lips, “Sounds perfect. Except levels are reserved exclusively for me and my Cinnamon Roll. Stages will have to do.” Roxas felt tingles all over his body at Axel’s words, he almost missed it when he continued, “In the meantime, let’s help you to run down the clock - I was promised a personal shopper.”

Roxas smiled and realized he didn’t mind that assignment in the slightest. Shoving all the remaining socks into a haphazard pile that was no better than his laundry piles at home, he wondered if he would hear about that later. _I guess that depends if Larxene comes back onto the floor while Axel is here,_ he thought as he turned back to Axel. “I think that can be arranged. How about finding a back to school outfit?” Roxas meant it as a joke, but something in Axel’s eyes looked almost vulnerable for a moment. Roxas felt something in his chest crack. “I mean we-”

“No, no, sweet cheeks,” Axel said, sweeping his arm around Roxas’ shoulders and leading him away from the pile of socks, “it’s just there’s never been- I mean I haven’t been, back to school shopping was not a thing I ever did past the third grade when my brother gave me his old lunch box that had about twenty bucks hidden inside and I took myself to the store to buy myself a new backpack - turned out they cost a lot more than I thought.” 

“Well then we have a lot of years to make up for,” Roxas said, giving a small smile. Axel’s voice had sounded upbeat, but Roxas could feel the underlying hurt - or perhaps more of a feeling of upset, abnormalcy, not _belonging_ \- in any case, there was something there that Roxas was detecting. He could even identify with it - he’d spent his middle school years striving to fit in after his parents had moved them from Radiant Gardens to Twilight Town and away from his cousin. 

“It’s not normal,” he remembered overhearing his dad telling his mom one night. “The kid needs to make more friends than just Ventus.”

“Roxas is just fine,” he recalled his mother reassuring.

But he hadn’t been _fine._ He’d spent three years in school-induced hell before he’d met Pence the first summer after his Freshman year. He had introduced Roxas to Olette and eventually Hayner-

“Earth to Roxas!” Roxas blinked. Axel’s voice continued, “You with me?” 

“Yeah, sorry about that. I was just thinking-” he cut himself off, not wanting to let thoughts of Pence and Olette ruin his mood like usual, and shook his head before turning back to smile up at Axel, “Where should we start?”

“Well, first we should buy a time machine. I think I saw a DeLorean driving around the other day - maybe we can track Doc down and ask him for a ride. Just don’t want to repeat the mistakes of the original trilogy though. Maybe we should commandeer a Tardis instead - we are only going back to my fourth grade year and stocking up on Pokemon cards. They’re worth a fortune now, you know? And picking up an X-Men shirt or two. My best friend at the time, Saïx, had six! SIX! Who needs half a dozen X-Men shirts?!” Axel sounded impassioned and sarcastic as he ranted through his speech and Roxas couldn’t help but let out a laugh behind his hand. 

“I’m serious, Roxy-pants,” Axel said with a smile, laughing along with Roxas, even as he continued to whine, “he wouldn’t even let me borrow one!”

“Well then, today we are getting you your very own X-Men shirt,” Roxas declared with a grin, trying not to devolve into giggles as he made his way over to the graphic tee section, pulling Axel behind in his wake. “I know I unpacked some a few weeks ago - now the trick is to figure out where they ended up. We get comic stuff in all the time, but sometimes they all get lumped together.” 

“Tragic,” Axel laughed.

“Yeah, it’s a sad day when some people can’t even tell Wolverine from Iron Man.”

“What? What sad soul doesn’t know the difference? I need to educate them immediately.”

“I know - Wolverine has way better abs!”

“Even if Iron Man’s got all the tech and brains, not much can beat Wolverine’s abs.”

“Yeah”—Roxas bit his lip to hold back a laugh—“he was probably one of my first comic book crushes.”

“Really? I would have pegged you for a Spiderman, Peter Parker-type.”

“Nah, the only Peter I was into could fly,” Roxas smiled, as he leafed through the piles of T-shirts until he found an X-Men one that he thought Axel would like. 

“Could fly?”

“Peter Pan. Always had a thing for lost boys, I guess,” Roxas replied as he grabbed the shirt in what he thought was Axel’s size. 

“That explains the clock tower a lot more now,” Axel joked as Roxas stood back up, shirt in hand. 

“Well it kept me hooked,” Roxas said, grinning at his pun. “Okay, take a look at this one,” he said, handing the shirt over.

“Oh - old school!” Axel grinned as he unfolded it, inspecting the classic X-Men logo and characters drawn below it. “I like it.”

“Alright, let’s get you some other things to go with it - it’s gotta be a whole outfit, right?” Roxas smiled as he looked Axel up and down, assessing. It was rare that he shopped for himself these days - despite being surrounded by opportunity - but the prospect of dressing Axel in a full outfit was awakening something in him that had been long dormant. He felt _inspired._ “Before I grab pants - tell me something,” he said seriously.

“Anything.”

“What Hogwarts house would you be in?” He’d only seen Axel in black skinny jeans, he realized, and wanted to add some subtle - but still dark - color to his wardrobe. 

“If this is some weird, thinly veiled attempt to ask me about school, you can just ask me, Sugar Quill-“

Roxas laughed - he couldn’t help it. “No, nothing like that. Promise.”

“Then, uh- What does this have to do with pants?”

“Just an idea I have,” Roxas smirked.

“Any hints?”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“Well here’s the thing - I don’t really know what house I would be in.”

“Why’s that?” Roxas frowned. “Are you not a fan?”

“No, it’s nothing like that,” Axel confessed. “I always felt I’d be placed in Gryffindor - after a long internal debate about whether or not I really belong in Slytherin.” Roxas smiled to himself, that sounded _exactly_ like Axel. “But then, you know those online house quizzes?”

Roxas nodded.

“Well I took one and it said I was a Hufflepuff!” 

Axel sounded appalled and Roxas had to laugh, even as he scolded, “What’s wrong with Hufflepuff?”

“Every- wait. Are _you a_ Hufflepuff?”

“Pureblood.” Roxas replied seriously.

Axel put his face in his hands and shook it. “I don’t know if this is going to work out, sweet cheeks,” he teased.

“Hey! You just said you were sorted into Hufflepuff!”

“Yeah, on _accident._ The quiz was rigged, I swear. The questions were all like ‘You've just finished your last class. What's the first thing you do?’ With answers like ‘study, study, study’ - which was _so_ not going to happen - or ‘Identify the weakest among you and make them regret ever crossing you,’ which sounds appealing but like a lot of work.” He glared briefly back at the door leading to the back room - it was fast but Roxas caught it and he toned down his laugh slightly because of it. “So that left ‘go explore the Forbidden Forest’ or ‘Pop down to the kitchens and get a cinnamon roll.’”

“Oh it so did not!” Roxas laughed more wholeheartedly this time at Axel’s teasing. There was no way that could be true - he had to be trying to get a rise out of him.

“Dead serious,” Axel replied, deadpan.

“Let me guess, you picked the cinnamon roll answer?”

“It's like you just know me so well!”

Roxas devolved into a fit of laughter as he walked over and grabbed a pair of Gryffindor red shimmery skinny jeans. “Well, at least your jeans will be your _real_ house color,” he declared as he handed them over to join the X-Men shirt. “I support inter-house relations.”

“And I completely support that cause,” Axel said seriously but his eyes were dancing happily, “Relations are sort of my forte, so stick with me. You're already a natural at it though.” 

Roxas felt a flicker of pride rise up in him mixed with desire. He shoved it down best he could, but it left his cheeks aflame, the flames in his stomach were roaring. He wanted to kiss Axel, but decided to wait - he was at work after all - turning instead to grab the black moto jacket that had come in just a few weeks ago. When he’d unpacked it he’d been struck by how much it had reminded him of Axel with its askew zipper, multiple pockets with exposed silver zippers, and buckle belt around the waist. And he knew his boyfriend would want long sleeves over the t-shirt - Axel never wore anything but. Thinking about it, Roxas realized the X-Men shirt might be the first time he’d see Axel in a T-shirt.

Shoving the jacket his boyfriend’s way, he ushered him back to the fitting room, stepping inside to kiss him briefly, away from prying eyes. It was a bold move and the fire hit him immediately as he pushed Axel further inside. “Strip,” he ordered, teasing, moving back towards the door - but not before Axel caught his wrist and pulled him back in.

“Care to join me?” his voice was sultry in Roxas’ ear and it traveled straight to his cock.

“Absolutely,” Roxas said. Being honest with himself he would have loved to stay for the show, but he was at work and had to draw the line somewhere. “There’s nothing I want more. But it will have to wait. I _am_ still at work. And _you_ have a new outfit to make sure fits. Try it on. Please? For me?” 

“Yes, sir. But only because you asked so nicely, Cinnabon.” Axel’s voice sounded so sultry in his ear, Roxas thought he might melt as he pulled himself out of the fitting room and shut the door behind him. 

When Axel emerged a couple minutes later in his new outfit, Roxas thought he might faint. The man looked so _hot_ \- the shimmery skinny jeans hugging him perfectly as they reflected flecks of light, and the jacket was like a second skin on him - if slightly too short in the sleeves. But if Axel could overlook _that_ \- Roxas decided he looked like a dream and he felt a shot of warmth through him that he’d gotten the outfit so right on the first try. Axel’s style wasn’t changed, just enhanced with some color, and as he admired himself in the mirror Roxas noticed that he looked truly happy - the kind that radiated into the air around him. Which was why Roxas could only gape like a fish when Axel turned to look at him. 

Seeing his face Axel let out a laugh. The sound of it traveled down Roxas’ spine, leaving tingles in its wake. He had to remind himself _he was at work._ “I look that good, huh?” Axel chuckled. “I do think you just leveled up my sex appeal. I mean, I knew I looked good, but _damn.”_

Roxas blushed. “You know you always look good,” he muttered.

“Yeah, maybe”—Axel turned towards him and brushed back a stray strand of hair that had fallen in Roxas’ face before looking directly into his eyes—[“but it means more to me when you say it.”](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/post/640049501193863168/wonderful-shaky-mayhemm-created-fanart-for)

Roxas gulped - Axel’s hand leaving behind smoldering remains as he turned back to the mirror. 

“I think I definitely need these pants.”

“I think you definitely need the whole outfit,” Roxas blurted. “Let’s get you out of it, so I can get you back into it as soon as possible.”

Axel laughed. “I’m not used to putting back on the clothes I take off,” he teased and the growing desire in Roxas leapt. He pushed it down.

“Not even clothes from your _boyfriend_ for your first day of back-to-school?” Roxas gave a teasing smile as Axel’s eyes widened.

“Oh no - Roxas, you don’t have to do that.”

“I want to,” Roxas said, finding he really did want to treat Axel to something he looked so good in and had made him so happy, “and besides, of the two of us, I’m the one with the corporate discount.”

“Okay,” Axel agreed, with some reluctance still in his voice, “but maybe not the jacket - it’s too short. And, as for the rest, _I will pay you back later.”_ His voice dropped and became very seductive - Roxas felt his cock twitch in his pants.

“You don’t have to-” he protested, but didn’t get far.

“I want to,” Axel said empathically. “I already have some _ideas…”_ he winked as his voice trailed off and he headed back into the dressing room, giving Roxas time to will his erection back _down._

_Later,_ he told himself, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

Five minutes and a pair of ramen socks later, Roxas found himself introducing Axel to Naminé as she checked them out, feeling slightly relieved Sora wasn’t working today so Axel wouldn’t be subjected to the third degree. He felt slightly guilty over it, but he shook it off as he watched Naminé and Axel chat. 

They were bonding over a shared interest in an anime that Roxas had never even heard of - let alone _seen_ \- and were both apparently appalled at his lack of knowledge. He started tuning them out when they got to the intricacies of a plot he couldn't follow, but at least they were no longer riding his ass about not watching the show. He felt sure he’d get an earful anyways later on from Axel - though whether about the show or his ass he wasn’t entirely sure...

“You know - I have a friend who I think would really like you,” Axel leaned over the register counter. “I’ll have to introduce you two one day.”

Roxas felt his stomach do a weird flip. “Oh that’s okay,” Naminé said - her smile as tight as Roxas had ever seen it. “You don’t have to- I mean, I’m not really one for-“

“Oh you’ll like her alright.” Axel grinned. “Just don’t forget to invite me to the wedding so I can say ‘I told you so.’”

Naminé’s cheeks flushed bright red and she looked down at the screen in front of her like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Roxas felt a blush creep up right along with hers, he felt kind of guilty that he didn’t even realize Naminé was into women. He remembered her mentioning she’d dated someone a while back and it had ended her relationship with her family - but couldn’t recall anything more from the story. He’d been in the height of his own depression at the time - not that that was a good excuse.

“There’s no need to be embarrassed or ashamed,” suddenly Axel’s voice was as soft as Roxas had ever heard it. “You can’t help what you like.” Those words sounded directed right at Roxas and he swallowed hard to keep from leaping into the taller man’s arms. 

“I know that,” Naminé said, “I just am not used to people knowing and being okay with it. I’m still learning that part, I guess.”

Axel nodded, sagely. “I just have a read on people,” he said, “it comes from an old line of work.”

“Oh? And what do you do?”

_“Did,”_ Axel corrected. “I worked at one of those legal brothels. For a time.”

Roxas cheeks flushed and his anxiety flared slightly waiting for her reaction to the admission but Naminé was calm. “Oh!” She exclaimed, “that’s interesting. Not the thing for me, I don’t think, but I could see why someone might decide to do that. Especially now that it’s legal. Makes things so much safer for everyone.”

Roxas quietly decided Naminé might be the least judgmental person he’d ever met. 

“It does. You know, you look kind of familiar. Completely unrelated, I promise!” Axel smiled at her as she looked at him, and Roxas tried to ignore the implications that could have been there without the qualifier. Sometimes it still stung when he remembered what Axel did. _But he gave it up for you,_ he reminded himself, as Axel said, “I’ve been meaning to ask - have we met?”

Naminé shook her head. “I think I would have remembered meeting a tall fiery redhead before,” she said as she took the stack of clothes from Roxas, her eyes bright.

“You think I’m fiery?”

“It’s my job to know elements right now,” she explained, as if it were the most normal response in the world.

“Naminé is working on an art installation based on the elements,” Roxas explained, recalling their conversation from weeks back.

“Yup!” She smiled. “It’s coming along really well. You’re going to come to the gallery, right?” she addressed Roxas before turning to Axel, “you’re invited as well. Any friend of Roxas’ is a friend of mine, and you're his boyfriend"—Roxas' heartbeat sped up upon hearing that - _we aren't boyfriends really,_ he thought to himself, _well, not yet_ —"so that earns you extra friendship points right off the bat. Plus, you’re the living personification of fire, I think-”

“I could be your muse!” Axel offered happily before turning to Roxas, batting his eyelashes. “You hear that, sweet cheeks? I’m _fiery.”_

“I know that, firecracker.” Roxas smiled back. “You’re always flaming.”

“Oh my god - did you just make a gay joke?” Axel laughed turning back to Naminé. “You see what I have to put up with?” he said good naturedly and even Roxas smiled as Naminé giggled.

“Doesn’t seem like too much hardship,” she replied, “and you two are good together.”

“You know that within five minutes of meeting me?” Axel narrowed his eyes slightly.

“Anyone who can make Roxas smile like that is in my good books. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him laugh as much as I did today.” Her voice was confident and Roxas realized she was probably right. He hadn’t thought about anything but Axel since the redhead had been assigned to shop with him - and he hadn’t _wanted_ to. His heart felt _lighter_ and he relished the feeling. 

Looking up at Axel, he took in those bright green eyes; those warm, slender arms that held him perfectly; those hands that ignited him with every touch, those incredible lips that made him feel like he was melting with every kiss; that bright red hair that made him feel like he could hold fire in his hands. Surrendering his credit card to Naminé when she asked, he realized he hardly cared if being with Axel cost him everything he owned - he was more than okay with that if he could have these feelings inside him for as long as possible. 

Axel leaned down to press his lips to Roxas’ cheek, and Roxas felt _happiness_ well within him. Strange and foreign and so much like his old self he didn’t know what to do with it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double the chapter length, double the fun!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this one. I confess, it has some of my very favorite lines in the entire fic. I do feel like Siax would have been X-Men obsessed as a kid, and Roxas would have totally watched Peter Pan for hours on end. Now it's Axel's turn to re-claim his lost childhood and I think Roxas set him up well - they are perfect for each other. <3
> 
> [Fanart](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/post/640049501193863168/wonderful-shaky-mayhemm-created-fanart-for) for this chapter was created by @shaky-mayhemm on [tumblr](https://shaky-mayhemm.tumblr.com/). I am obsessed and their work is fire! 🔥🧡💛
> 
> Comments and Kudos are loved and adored!
> 
> For more join me over on [tumblr](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/).
> 
> GED Explanation: It recently came to my attention that obtaining your GED is not practiced in all countries. I was unaware that the general desire to obtain a GED (the equivalent of high school diploma) was so acutely American. (Huge thank you to those of you who pointed this out!) As I mentioned earlier, a high school diploma or GED is expected for most standard areas of employment, not just higher education, so even individuals in their 20s or older often obtain a GED when they want to open up more job opportunities. The GED is just a series of tests on various subjects like science, math and English that individuals have to study for and pass. What Axel is choosing to do here is the path for someone who did not complete High School and wants to obtain more education or open up more employment opportunities, but it’s also inspiring to Roxas as it was an unexpected move that he admires Axel for voluntarily undertaking.


	11. class Axel

**Chapter 11 - class Axel**

“I want to introduce Naminé to Xion,” Axel announced as soon as Roxas walked out of the mall after his shift. He knew the redhead had said he’d wait for him, but seeing him standing outside in the mall parking lot sparked something warm in his chest. “They would be perfect for each other.”

“Oh?” Roxas said, slipping his hand into Axel’s and squeezing it, hoping it conveyed all he was feeling. His entire day had been turned upside down the minute Axel had shown up and he couldn’t ignore how his thoughts of Hayner had taken an immediate backseat when he’d gone shopping with him. 

“Yeah, I have a really good feeling about it.”

“What makes you so sure?”

Axel shrugged like it was obvious. “I guess you don't know Xion like I do. Which reminds me, the three of us will have to get sea-salt ice cream sometime, she’s the only one I know that likes it - well, other than you, of course. But that’s besides the point. Naminé is just her type, and I think they would get on like a house on fire.”

Roxas paused, considering this, as Axel pulled his hand. Together they started walking around the outside of the mall. It reminded Roxas of their first ‘date-not-date’ after the arcade and he let out a small laugh.

“What?”

“Just remembering the last time we did this, when I was questioning if it was a date or not.”

Axel laughed, the sound filling the air, and Roxas, with warmth. “Didn’t know if it was a date, huh? That’s fair.”

“Yeah,” Roxas said, slightly sheepishly, “I’m really glad it happened though.”

“Me too,” Axel agreed. “Of all the things in my life, I will never ever regret giving you my number in that grocery store.”

“Does that mean there _are_ things you regret?” Roxas asked, curious.

“Everyone has things they regret.” Axel said it so plainly there was no room for argument. Roxas bit his lip. “Out with what you really want to ask, Bright Eyes - I know that’s not your real question.”

Roxas blinked. _When did he become so transparent?_ “I mean-” he paused, not sure how to open up the conversion. He decided to just bite the bullet. “Tell me about Larxene?”

Axel sighed. “Well I certainly didn’t expect that I would see her today.”

“What was that about ‘liars and betrayers’?” Roxas asked.

“You caught that, did you?” 

“It was kind of hard to miss,” Roxas said, a feeling of unease building up inside of him. “But if you don’t want to talk about it…” he let his voice trail off as they continued to walk. 

“No, it’s- there’s parts of my past you don’t know about, sweet cheeks,” Axel said, “and I don’t want to dump it on you-”

“It’s not dumping it on me if I want to hear it,” Roxas protested, “and besides I want to know about you. Even if you have skeletons in your closet, it’s better than brushing it under the rug.” Roxas stopped talking, remembering Hayner’s medical bills, the things he hadn’t been told about until after it was too late to try and _fix_ anything. He decided, then and there, that anything Axel had to say to him he would take in with an open mind and as little judgement as he could.

“Well,” Axel began, leading them over the sidewalk curb and taking a seat. He opened his arms, pulling Roxas into his lap so he sat over his knees. Axel wrapped his arms around Roxas and held him. “What I am about to tell you might be hard to hear-”

“I told you about Hayner,” Roxas said quietly. _But not everything about Hayner_ , a voice in his brain whispered traitorously as he continued, “And I know you were a rentboy. Anything you could tell me”— _couldn’t be so bad, right?—_ “isn’t going to scare me off.”

Axel squeezed him gently, before leaning forward and kissing him on the lips. The kiss was chaste but caring, and Roxas felt a delicate web start to weave between them - on the sidewalk outside the mall in the slowly setting sun. “So you remember what I said about my dad?” Axel asked.

Roxas nodded. _He wasn’t likely to forget that._ Quieting his mind, Roxas resolved to just listen and be there for him. Maybe if he’d done that more for Hayner...

 _No_ , he was here with Axel and he would listen to him right now - not think about Hay.

“Well, after my last hospital visit my brother and I were placed in the system.” Axel’s voice cut through all Roxas’ thoughts and made him focus everything on just listening. 

“You know - they removed us from his custody or whatever. My brother went to this really well-off family, you know? The kind with a mortgage and a dog. They said he was lucky - even though we were split up. We talk occasionally now, but there was a good stretch of years in there where we lost touch. We were on two different paths. Of the two of us he was always the good one, the smart one, the one with a _future”—_ Axel squeezed Roxas closer before he continued—“and then there was me. At first they didn’t know where to put me. I bounced around to six different foster homes in less than eight months during my sophomore year of high school. It was-” Axel swallowed. “Well it just _was,_ I guess. But I started doing all the dumb shit - skipping classes, doing drugs, changed my name, having unsafe sex - anything to make me feel better. Or not feel at all.”

“Did it help?” Roxas asked, feeling his heart ache for his firecracker.

“Yeah,” Axel said, “I guess it did. For a time. But then it wasn’t enough. I started dealing - at first for munny, and then for munny for more drugs. I got really good at it and just kind of dropped out of school.” Axel looked at him with barely hidden nervousness in his eyes and lots of regret - it was almost palpable. “Xion, who had been dealing with me on the side, told me I was making a mistake, but I didn’t listen. I thought I knew best.”

Axel paused and Roxas leaned in to kiss his cheek. He wished he could offer something, do more, to reassure Axel but he settled for listening and hoped that being there conveyed everything he wanted to.

“I became really fucking good at selling drugs,” Axel continued, “and was recruited by one of the largest gangs in the city. That’s where I met Larxene. She came along after me. She was a total nobody but had, uh, major delusions of grandeur.” 

Roxas smirked. “That sounds like Larxene.”

“Heh, yeah, I guess some people never change,” Axel said, looking down at him, “but she was ruthless. And didn’t care who she cut down in the process. I just didn’t realize how heartless she was. One night we were making a really big drop - and I mean really big. A huge illegal shipment that would have earned me more munny than I'd ever had before. Would have moved me up in the ranks as well.”

Roxas drew in a breath.

“Except we were sold out - by none other than Larxene herself.” Roxas covered his mouth to block his shock. “Enforcement were there and busted us and I ended up in jail. I wasn’t high enough up in the organization to have a huge bounty on my head, and I was given a single phone call.”

“I didn’t know who to reach out to. A lawyer? How could I admit I’d been trafficking drugs?” Axel let out a dark laugh as he continued. “Another organization member? They would only fuck me over further for not preforming the job they needed done. So I did the only thing I could and called the one person I knew might try and help me with no questions asked.”

“Your brother?”

“No,” Axel replied, hugging Roxas closer to him as if to calm himself. “Though that might have been a smart choice, we were definitely _not_ talking at the time. I called Xion. She posted bail without hesitation. Even though we hadn’t spoken much in three years. But in doing so she made me promise I would never go back.”

“I explained that I needed the munny,” Axel’s voice sounded sad and heavy now, like he was remembering something more painful than the drugs. “She just laughed at me and said there were other ways to go about it. And that was how I ended up as a rentboy for the first time. Two years and one law later, she’d saved enough and opened her place, and, well, you know the rest basically.”

“Oh, baby,” Roxas said, his voice soft, caught off guard by his own word choice and even more surprised to find he meant it. He threw his arms around Axel and held him close, “I’m so, so sorry.”

“Why?” Axel asked, rubbing his back. There was something like relief in his voice. “It’s not your fault or your choices. I’m only glad you’re not upset with me-”

“Upset with you?” Roxas pulled back, looking Axel in the eyes. “You were just trying to- just trying to-” Roxas knew what he wanted to say but the words wouldn’t come. Axel was just trying to survive, just as Roxas had when things had crumbled beneath his feet. Sure, he hadn’t resorted to selling drugs, or anything illicit, but he’d been there - seemingly without any support and trying to swim against the current in a world that felt out to get him somehow.

“Take it one day at a time?” Axel supplied. “Yeah, something like that.”

“The story is a part of you, and your experiences help to make you - _you_. The person I have come to know. I want you to tell me things, so we don’t have secrets.”

“No secrets,” Axel agreed, holding Roxas tight.

They sat there in silence for a while, Roxas processing what Axel had told him. He felt relief that Axel felt he could share, an ache in his heart for everything this beautiful man had been through - he wanted to take it all away the way he’d wished he could have for Hayner. 

But Hayner was gone, and with him went Pence and Olette. The four of them had been a gang of their own. The best of friends. They’d been nearly inseparable, until Hayner had severed their connection with a knife - _no,_ Roxas corrected himself, _that wasn’t true._ Pence and Olette weren’t completely gone. They had reached out to him, but he had ignored them. _What could he even say to them?_

With that thought he looked up at Axel. “When you called Xion, what did she say?”

Axel let out a short laugh. “Of all the things I said, that’s what you want to talk about?”

“Yeah,” Roxas replied seriously. “How did she take it? Was she mad or-?”

“Well she might have been mad, I don’t really know,” Axel confessed, “but she said ‘you can always call me. It doesn't matter how you got here, I will always be there for you.’ To her it hadn't mattered that we had barely spoken for years - she was there for me like there was never a day between us - and that was something else.”

Roxas sighed and leaned into Axel. “Do you think all friends should be so quick to forgive?” He asked quietly. He felt like he could hear his own misery, but Axel didn’t comment. Instead Axel hummed, thinking about it, before he replied.

“I honestly don’t know, but I think Xion’s a special one.”

Roxas laid his cheek on Axel’s chest, listening to his strong heartbeat. Maybe, just _maybe_ \- if Xion could forgive Axel, and Axel could trust Roxas to open up like this - Roxas could forgive Pence and Olette. And maybe, by some miracle, they could be friends again.

The thought unlocked something in Roxas’ chest and he felt a tear soak into Axel’s shirt. “Ah, sorry,” Roxas said, pulling away, but Axel stopped him. 

“It’s okay, baby, you can cry.” His own eyes were glistening in the last of the sunlight. “I’ve got you.”

“Wrong,” Roxas corrected, leaning back in, “we got each other.”

Axel tucked his head into Roxas’ hair, and Roxas felt himself let go.

* * *

The truth of it all was that Roxas was starting to feel more at home in Axel’s new bedroom than his own place, he decided while looking around his own cramped apartment - the darkness outside making it feel that much smaller. He sighed as he flipped on the lights.

Maybe, if he got that management job, Roxas could afford to move.

Demyx had sent him the job details a few days ago - he was slowly pulling together his resume to send back. But it was a hard project to work on and he knew he was kind of half-assing it and procrastinating.

For all the hours he’d spent at Axel’s place over the last week and half, he had still yet to meet the redhead’s mysterious roommate, or even spend the entire night - something Axel preferred to do at Roxas’ place on the slowly increasing number of occasions he’d stayed over. But there was something about the redhead’s new room that felt so inviting and homey to Roxas. And it wasn’t just the mindblowing sex - there were also many hours spent playing video games, listening to music, or just cuddling together. 

_The cuddling was the best,_ Roxas decided. Hayner had never wanted to cuddle much and it was a huge mark of difference between the man that Roxas was starting to cautiously think of as his boyfriend, and his lost lover who took a piece of his heart with him when he’d left.

And that was the problem with Roxas’ place - if it didn’t trigger unwanted memories before, it for sure was now, and nearly all the time. Visits from Mickey and Axel both were slowly helping to erase those feelings - obviously on very different levels - and their distractions helped a lot. But the feeling that he couldn’t escape his past trapped Roxas in his thoughts when he was back at his apartment. Even if it was slowly fading, it wasn’t clearing quick enough - he still had moments where he felt like he was drowning.

Luckily they were getting shorter - even if only marginally. 

His phone pinged, bringing him back from the depths.

**Pence - 1 Text Message**

Roxas blinked in surprise, sliding open his phone.

 **Pence:** **_Hey Roxas. Checking in because we never heard back from you. Would you still be down to get that coffee sometime?_ **

Suddenly coffee sounded really good and Roxas moved to brew a cup. He wasn’t in the habit but it would give him a much needed distraction. Plus he hoped the scent would help make his place feel more grounded – he found earthy smells usually helped.

Once it was set up though, he had to wait, and the thoughts all came flooding back. Roxas had really thought he was ready to move past all this, but Pence’s text had him paralyzed.

He had just poured himself a cup when his phone pinged again. Reaching down for it expecting to see another text from Pence, he was happily surprised to see Axel had texted him.

 **AXEL:** **_Hey babe. What are you up to?_ **

Roxas snapped a picture of the hot coffee in his Jars of Flame mug. He typed **_caffeine 1UP_** and hit send. He barely took a sip before Axel replied.

 **AXEL:** **_Oo, good idea. Got 2 of those?_ **

The simple response caused feelings to brew up inside of him, hotter than the coffee, as he smiled at his phone **_._ ** **_Sure. Want to come over?_ **

His phone immediately pinged again, Axel always was fast to respond, but as he looked down at the notification it was another message from Pence.

 **Pence:** **_If you ever want to, Olette and I have most weeknights and weekends free. Just let either of us know._ **

Roxas felt a small sting in his heart thinking about the two of them having a “normal” work schedule, as he stared at the screen with a small scowl. _They were not to blame_ , he knew it in his heart, but it was hard not to blame them for everything. They were the last reported people to see Hayner alive. Part of him knew they had nothing to do with his death, logically he knew that - Hayner’s note and the obvious suicidal evidence spoke to that - but it was hard to forgive them in his heart. _Surely there had been a sign that they had missed. If he had been there instead, he would have noticed. Right?_ It just hurt so damn much.

 **AXEL:** **_Absolutely! See you soon._ **

Axel’s textual prowess boosted his spirit more than the coffee ever could though. _Could he really meet with Pence and Olette?_ The thought filled Roxas with anxiety, but it wasn’t as overwhelming this time around. _Xion was there for Axel._ He clung to the warmth he felt from the coffee mug as he typed back **_Sorry, I must have missed your last text. I am down for coffee if you guys want. When and where did you have in mind?_ **and forced himself to hit send before he could change his mind.

Roxas smiled and settled into his couch to play a game on his phone. He was in the middle of a level when Pence messaged him back. _Figures_ , he grumbled, taking a sip of his coffee and forfeiting the game in favor of opening it.

 **Pence:** **_How about meeting at Organization Caffeine? What day works for you?_ **

A scratching on his back door startled him. He looked up to see Mickey pawing at the glass - and Axel standing right behind him. He was in the shadow of the apartment lights, but his red hair still stood out in silhouette and he had a weird-looking bag on his back, casting an even longer shadow than usual. 

Roxas got up to slide open the door, letting them both in. Mickey darted in past his feet and jumped up onto the kitchen counter - undoubtedly looking for water or food. Roxas’ gaze followed him for a moment before turning back to Axel and giving him a slightly overwhelmed smile. “Hi,” he said, his throat suddenly feeling parched despite the coffee.

“Hi yourself,” Axel replied, pulling him outside the door and swooping down to give him a kiss. Roxas leaned up into it briefly before Axel pulled away, holding his shoulders. He looked deep into Roxas’ eyes. “Everything okay?” he asked, tilting his head. He didn’t even add a nickname, so Roxas knew he must not be hiding his emotions as well as he had hoped.

“Yeah,” he muttered, “I’m fine.”

Axel raised his eyebrows.

“I am!” Roxas insisted. “It’s just some old friends. They want to get together for coffee.”

“And I take it you don’t?”

Roxas sighed and looked down. “It’s a long story,” he said, his socked feet kicking the dirt on the ground.

“I have time,” Axel said, wrapping his arms around Roxas and pulling him out further into the night air - and away from his memories in the apartment. Whether instinctive or not it was exactly the right move. Roxas smiled at him, feeling his heart fill slowly up with warmth. “I have all the time in the world for you, love.”

Roxas blinked at the nickname. “Love?” he breathed out.

“Yeah,” Axel smiled down at him, pulling them over to lean against the garden apartment’s brick wall that was all that kept the underground space from becoming a grave. He took the bag off his back and set it down on the ground before sitting them against it. “I’m allowed to call my boyfriend love, right?”

 _Boyfriend?_ Roxas’ brain was on fire, thoughts pinging around like a game of pinball, as Axel said the word he’d been wondering about for a while.

“It’s okay to call you my boyfriend, right, sweet cheeks?” Axel asked seriously, before his voice became more teasing, “after all I did-”

Roxas crushed their lips together to stop whatever Axel was going to say and passionately kissed him, the moment tender and loving and Roxas threatened to burn under the flames that took residence in his heart and spread outward, igniting every part of him as they kissed. The feeling was unlike any he’d felt before, but with Axel it was also like it was new every time. He never wanted it to end.

 _“ Yes,”_ he said when he finally broke the kiss. “A thousand times, yes.”

“Good,” Axel smiled at him. “Just you and me, shrimp.”

“Who are you calling shrimp?” Roxas tried to tease, but his heart wasn’t in it. He was too happy - he felt like a volcano was erupting inside his chest. It wasn’t quite sexual but it also wasn’t strictly emotional - it was something in between, and he leaned into the feeling.

“Do you _see_ how short you are?” Axel asked softly, pausing to give him a hug. “You know, the last time we had this same conversation I wanted to ask you to be my boyfriend right then and there.”

Roxas’ mouth dropped open as he thought back to the night he met Axel. He _assumed_ that’s what Axel was talking about, but he was having a hard time believing it. He looked up into Axel’s captivating green gaze - the shadows making it near to impossible to see his purple tattoos. “You- you did?” he stammered out in amazement.

“Mhm,” Axel hummed the affirmative and squeezed Roxas tighter.

“B- But,” Roxas stuttered, his brain trying to catch up with itself, “but you had clients! And you got to sleep with lots of people! And-”

Axel’s lips crashed down on his own, effectively and effortlessly shutting him up. When they finally pulled away, Axel trailed a finger over Roxas’ lips gently. “Yes, yes, I did,” he whispered, “but you were everything they weren’t. And I looked at you and saw something that nobody else had. You made me feel something - here.” Axel trailed his hand down to Roxas’ and placed it over his heart.

Roxas had to remember to breathe.

“My heart.” Axel smiled at him, and Roxas felt something melt inside his chest. “Hey,” Roxas felt Axel’s fingers hook under his chin and tilt his head up - he hadn’t even realized he’d been looking down _._ Axel seemed so bright in front of him, and he wanted to bottle up everything his own heart was feeling and save it for eternity. “Remember like a week ago when you asked if I could play guitar?”

Roxas nodded, not trusting his voice. He couldn’t forget that moment though - the look on Axel’s face had been something like regret when he’d asked about the instrument, and though Axel didn’t seem upset when he’d said that he could play, Roxas had spent the rest of the day kicking himself for asking the question.

“Well,” Axel reached over to unzip his bag - Roxas could now see it was a guitar case, “would you mind if I played you something?” He almost looked sheepish as he asked, as if Roxas was going to say no.

 _“Love,”_ Roxas' voice was soft as he spoke, and he wasn’t sure if he was saying it as an emotion, or a declaration, or a name, but he knew that meant it, and he knew Axel was listening. “You could probably ask just about anything of me right now and I would say yes.”

Axel gave him a small smile and kissed the corner of his lips. “I will remember that,” he said before setting the guitar on his lap and playing the first set of chords, strumming and tuning things up. “I haven’t played in a while.” He looked over at Roxas. “But you inspired me.” 

Roxas opened his mouth to say something, but all thoughts flew from his mind as Axel closed his eyes and began to play. 

From the first notes the music seemed to surround them, cocooning them in the bubble of warmth. There was a Spanish influence to the music at first, that soon gave way into classic rock, followed by more harsher-metal riffs, before settling back into classic rock again. Roxas didn’t know how long Axel played for, or if it was even a song he could recognize. All he knew was that with every note he felt sparks igniting within him, traveling down his spine as he watched Axel play in the dark - the light from his apartment casting shadows on his face. It felt magical, like their own private corner of the world, and Roxas wanted to stay in it forever.

When the music finally died and the night returned to them, the silence was palpable between them - like the absence of the music left a void in its wake. Axel glanced over at him, slight uncertainty on his face. Roxas leaned in to kiss him thoroughly, wanting to dash away all fears or uncertainties, because after that, after he felt so shaken up - so _moved_ \- he couldn’t allow Axel to think that there was anything to worry about. But the long speeches and fancy words wouldn't come, so he settled on the words he could manage, even as his heart burst open out of his chest, overflowing with emotions he never thought he could feel ever again - and maybe never had to begin with. 

“That was incredible,” Roxas said softly, hearing the awe in his own voice and hoping Axel could hear it too. “You’re incredible.”

Axel smiled, putting his guitar back in the case before pulling Roxas into his lap, where the instrument had just sat, and wrapping him up in his arms instead. “Are you going to play me too?” Roxas teased, meaning it to be funny, but Axel didn’t take it that way.

“No.” Roxas could feel Axel shake his head as he rested it in his hair. “I would never play you.”

“I meant like how you played guitar,” Roxas whispered. 

“I know,” Axel said, leaning down to kiss the top of Roxas’ head, “but I didn’t. I don’t think I have ever been more serious about anything in my life. My friends know it - and you should too, baby.”

Roxas felt his heart swell. Three little words sat on the tip of his tongue and he longed to voice them, but found he couldn’t - not without crying. A tear rolled down his cheek and Axel’s thumb came to sweep it away.

“I know,” Axel said as they sat, curled tightly together in the night air, love surrounding them but never voiced. “I know. Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed :D More of Axel's story in this chapter + they're officially, official now!  
> The song that helped inspire the second half of this chapter can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4Z602SAy8g
> 
> Comments and Kudos are love <3
> 
> Join me on [tumblr](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/) for more writing fun


	12. Rox of cake mix

**Chapter 12 - Rox of cake mix**

**AXEL:** **_What will I do without my Cinnamon Roll all night?_ **

Roxas smiled looking down at his screen, typing **_Actually get some sleep? Like I’m sure I will be dreaming of doing when 3am finally rolls around._ **

**AXEL:** **_Oh please you’re my little night owl._ **

Axel texted back as Roxas pushed open the door to the coffee shop and stepped inside. 

**AXEL:** **_Or should I say nocturnal fox? But seriously babe good luck with *everything* tonight. xo._ **

Roxas felt the now familiar feeling of fire swell inside him at Axel’s message. If Axel were here, he’d pull him in for a kiss, no hesitation. Even though he was apprehensive about meeting with Pence and Olette, somehow Axel helped to erase those fears. He’d even offered to join Roxas today, but Roxas had declined - he felt this was something he needed to do on his own. He sent back a winky-face followed by a kiss before looking up from his phone screen. 

Organization Caffeine was packed for 4pm on a Thursday. There were people occupying nearly every available table, computers and tablets as common a sight as tall coffee cups and the occasional sandwich. Scanning the area Roxas looked for Pence and Olette, but he didn’t see them so got in line instead.

When the auburn haired girl in front of him moved aside, Roxas walked up to the counter and blinked - the kid behind the counter looked like he could be Sora’s twin, except he had much darker hair and decidedly did not look like a friendly open book. But even so, it still could have been Sora if he had dyed his hair jet black - Roxas’ eyes flicked down to his nametag just to double check. Vanitas, it read.

 _Not Sora then,_ he thought obviously. _But still-_

“Can I help you?” Vanitas’ voice cut through his thoughts, which had become a jumble.

“Sorry, you just-” Roxas stumbled over his words, “you look like someone is all.”

“I can assure you I don’t.” The boy smirked, crossing his arms. “What can I get you?”

“Uh- I’ll take a cherry mocha with an extra shot of espresso,” Roxas ordered, deciding he’d need the extra artificial energy, not only for the upcoming conversation but the entire night that laid ahead. He pulled out his wallet to pay, but the Sora-clone - _He must be a clone, right?_ Roxas thought, _this isn’t a prank?_ \- held out his hand to stop him.

“It’s all been taken care of,” he grumbled out, as if it was somehow an inconvenience for him.

“Wha- What do you mean?” Roxas asked, surprised and confused.

“The girl in front of you,” Vanitas said, marking up a cup. “Something about ‘paying it forward?’ I’m not sure, those do-gooder-types, you know? You’ll have to ask her.”

“Uh, okay,” Roxas said, feeling slightly off kilter. Despite the interesting development, he decided he didn’t much like this Vanitas guy - he gave Roxas a weird, oily feeling. 

“Yeah,” Vanitas said, “you might be able to catch her at the drink counter. Speaking of - I need a name.”

“A name?” 

“Yeah”—Vanitas rolled his eyes—“for your _coffee.”_

“Oh right.” Roxas shook his head, feeling very off his game. “It’s Roxas.”

“Alright.” Vanitas nodded. “Next!”

And just like that, Roxas was ushered down to the drink counter. He looked around for the girl with auburn hair, but he didn’t see her.

 _A day for not seeing people,_ he sighed. He’d woken up that morning acutely aware that seeing Pence and Olette wasn’t going to bring Hayner back. The agony was so severe he almost cancelled on them. And as much as he missed Axel and wouldn’t see him again until the weekend, he was glad that he’d had his own space to wait it out until the crushing weight in his chest had passed.

The surprising thing, Roxas had found, was that it _had_ passed - in only a few hours. _That must be some kind of record-_

“KAIRA!” a voice called out, and Roxas watched as a fancy frozen coffee concoction was pushed forward onto the drink counter. It had pink sprinkles on the top. 

When nobody stepped up to claim the drink, the voice called again. The auburn haired girl who had been in front of Roxas made her way forward towards the drink. 

“Strawberry frappuccino with soy milk?” she asked, reaching for it. _Her sweatshirt matches her drink,_ Roxas noticed with some disbelief as the barista nodded. “Oh good,” she giggled, “I was wondering since the name was wrong.”

“Sorry about that,” Vanitas said loudly, but didn’t sound truly sorry at all, as she took her drink and moved away from the stand. Without even thinking about it Roxas reached out and grabbed her arm. The fabric of her shirt felt soft under his hand.

“Uh, yes?” she said, her voice surprised but sweet.

“Hi,” Roxas said, pulling his arm back abruptly, feeling slightly embarrassed. “I uh- thank you for my drink.”

“Oh! You were the guy behind me!” Her face lit up like a thousand watt bulb. It reminded Roxas a little of Sora. _Is everything going to remind me of Sora today?_ he thought as she kept talking. “What did you end up getting? Oh! Wait - don’t tell me! Let me guess. Hmmmmm, you look like you’re into caramel flavors - did you get something like a caramel macchiato?” She looked at him expectantly as she waited for Roxas to reply.

“Uh, no,” Roxas said, “I mean _I do_ like caramel, but I went with a cherry mocha today.”

“Oh! Those are really good! I have to admit, I’m a little surprised, but, as my friend likes to say ‘expect the unexpected’. Well enjoy your drink- um- sorry, I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s Roxas,” Roxas supplied before asking, “Why did you buy me coffee? Not that I’m not grateful or anything-”

“Oh don’t worry about it!” The girl - he still didn’t know her real name he realized - continued, “I’m not like - _hitting on you -_ or anything. I just have a little bet - well more of a _contest_ really - going with my best friend. He thinks he can do more good deeds this week than me, simply because he _sees_ more people on a daily basis - like it’s my fault that I work in the same office with the same people day in and day out.” 

“What do you do?” Roxas asked, feeling slightly overwhelmed but not wanting to be rude. She did just buy him his coffee.

“I’m a project manager for an advertising company. Trust me, it’s all kinds of boring-”

“No it’s not!” Roxas perked up suddenly. He was actually interested in that. “I would love to hear more about-”

“ROXAS!” Vanitas called out his name very loudly, interrupting him. As if he wasn’t standing _right there._

“Well Roxas,” the girl said, smiling at him, “enjoy your coffee.” She turned with a wave and then she was gone.

“Wait! I don’t even know your-” Turning back around and finding himself alone, Roxas felt slightly sheepish as he shut his mouth. Instead he looked around for an empty table. He hadn’t figured on the crowd. Roxas had deliberately picked today because he only had an hour or so before he had to head in for the rare overnight shift, they were doing a floor change and it was to be all hands on deck. He figured it would be a very valid excuse to have to leave, if nothing else. 

He had finally forwarded his resume over to Demyx earlier in the week and was still waiting to hear back, but he knew watching how things went down tonight would give him a better sense if he _really_ wanted the job or not. He’d deliberately been avoiding talking to Axel about it. Not that he was keeping it a secret, but he didn’t feel like he should talk about it until he knew how _he_ felt about it.

Sliding into a back booth that was open, he took a sip of his coffee - it burned the roof of his mouth, but the sweetness coated his throat and he leaned back to savor it. 

“There you are!” Olette’s voice carried across the table. “Good to see you, Roxas. See?”—she turned to Pence—“told you we wouldn’t have to text him to find him.”

“Ha, yeah.” Pence smiled, but it wasn’t very big. “Hey, Roxas, good to see you. How have you been?”

“You know - all things considered - pretty good.” Roxas bit his lip as he realized it was _true -_ all things considered, he was _healing._ It felt like it should be more profound a moment, but instead it was ordinary, like a fact he’d already accepted.

“That’s good to hear, man.” Pence’s voice didn’t change, but his smile became slightly more genuine. 

“We really just wanted to see you,” Olette offered, her voice sounding sincere as she slid into the booth across from Roxas.

“Yeah, that’s for sure,” Pence readily agreed, “a chance to catch up, and everything. Why don’t I get us drinks?” he asked, setting his hand on Olette’s shoulder. She smiled up at him. “The usual for you?” he asked her, and she nodded. “Roxas? Want anything?”

“I’m good,” Roxas said, gesturing towards his coffee cup. “Go fuel up.”

Pence shot him a rare sad smile - and Roxas knew why. That was one of Hayner’s phrases when they’d been at the height of everything. “Yeah, I’ll be right back,” he said, squeezing Olette’s shoulder before disappearing to grab drinks.

“You really do look good,” Olette said as soon as he was gone. “We’ve been worried about you - when you stopped talking-”

“Well yeah,” Roxas said, taking a sip of his coffee, reminding himself they were not the enemy. “I just, ahh- needed space. I guess.”

“I completely get it,” she said, and her eyes looked on him with an understanding gaze. 

_Maybe she really did get it on a level,_ Roxas wondered to himself, but still it felt somehow put-on. Which wasn’t fair to the two people who would qualify as his oldest friends on the planet, and he knew it, but he couldn’t help himself.

Roxas reached down, deep inside himself, and wondered what Axel would tell him to do in this moment. Or maybe what Axel himself would do. He thought back to the night Axel had shared his history with Larxene - even if they weren’t as close as they’d once been, Axel and Xion had shown him that good friends, true friendship, didn’t have to die when strained. He had started to forgive and he found that, for the first time, he really wanted to try and salvage what he could - if there was anything left to still save.

“Yeah, it’s just been rough,” Roxas admitted, his throat threatening to close up on him. “There was”—he paused to contemplate what he wanted to admit, what he could say without tears threatening to fall—“lots of changes all at once.”

“I know,” Olette nodded sagely, as if she really _got_ it, and Roxas felt something in his chest crack. “But, you know, we’ve been meaning to talk to you. When we saw him that day...” Her voice trailed off as her eyes watered. Roxas was already a ball of emotions with just sitting here, he certainly didn’t need her to clarify who or which day, so he was grateful for her pause while she composed herself some. “He was _so excited,_ Rox _._ He seemed really happy. We had no idea. Roxas, you have to understand, I’ve been carrying this around for so long. I lost two of my best friends that day.”

Roxas felt something vile build in him. He’d never thought of it that way before. Even when he was at the height of his anger at the pair, he’d figured she and Pence would be fine with each other. That they would _have_ each other. He never thought they would miss _him._ Consider his loss something of a monumental change in their lives, on par with the loss of Hayner.

“It’s true,” Pence said, his voice very soft, as he returned to the table and sat down beside Olette, placing her coffee on the table in front of her. “We have missed you, Roxas.”

“We just wanted to-” Olette started, but then stopped herself, taking a sip of her drink. She looked like she was trying to blink back tears, but it looked like she was fighting a losing battle. 

“It’s okay,” Roxas said, his chest feeling tight and uncomfortable. “I didn’t realize- I mean, I just felt like it all fell to me. After. Hayner was all I had for _so long._ He was my everything. KeyChat was everything-”

“And you were everything to him,” Pence cut in. “Shit, Rox - I don’t even know if you realize. You saved Hay. I am convinced-”

“Not enough to stop him from taking his own life,” Roxas said miserably, anger and sadness in his chest squeezing tight, “I couldn’t stop him when it mattered most.”

“None of us could,” Pence said, surprisingly comfortingly, “but he loved you. I know he did. I know of at least one other occasion where he told me - when he told me he was living for you.” Pence let out a huge breath.

“In his note,” Roxas whispered, “he told me. He said he loved me to pieces, and that he knew I would be upset but that he wanted better for me than him. That I should love again. That was the hardest part - don’t you see?” Roxas heard his voice crack. “His stupid fucking family - they drove him to this. He was sick and no one would help him. I feel so incredibly-” Roxas paused. He was going to say ‘guilty’, but he found that wasn’t entirely true anymore. The embers in his stomach that never seemed to burn out these days didn’t even allow him to feel lonely anymore either. But he did feel immeasurably sad - the kind of sadness that overtook his soul and threatened to drown him in the deep end.

“I know,” Olette’s voice was like an anchor in a storm, “there’s no denying it.”

Somehow hearing those words from her - the last person to see Hayner that day - made him feel just a nanometer more whole.

“He would want you to move on,” Pence said. “He would hate to see any of us sad over this.” Though he said it with the best of intentions, Pence’s voice shook as if he couldn’t form the words.

Roxas remembered to breathe. While he’d been Hayner’s lover, Pence had always been his best friend. Long before Roxas had met either of them. He knew that he could trust what Pence was saying, but it was _so hard_ with all the animosity that had crystallized in his heart.

Animosity, he was now realizing, that may not have ever been warranted. And that made him want to cry all over again. And he had been so good about _not_ crying. But he suddenly realized, with overly bright clarity, that he wasn’t sure if he was going to get out of this conversation unscathed.

He was only fooling himself thinking that he ever could.

Maybe that had been the real reason he hadn't wanted to meet with them. Not the anger or upset - he'd been managing, with Axel's help, to burn that away, bit by bit. But the guilt of leaving them and the sadness he still felt over Hayner still remained - an ever-present frozen lake that never melted, no matter how much heat he attacked it with. But being with Pence and Olette, sitting down with _two of his oldest friends,_ he found that the ice on the surface had a huge crack in it. A strange cold relief washed over him, and he felt the crack in his chest widen - it suddenly didn’t feel so tight.

“I know,” Roxas muttered very quietly. “I’m trying. I am.” Suddenly it felt important that they understood that.

The two exchanged a glance that Roxas couldn’t read very well before Olette turned to him with her eyes shiny and glossy. “We know this isn’t easy. We’ve been wrecks ourselves - we can’t even imagine what you’re feeling…” her voice trailed off and a silence fell over the table. It felt slightly strained, but not entirely uncomfortable - as if they were all feeling like they were swimming in the same pool of sadness, but the water was at a different depth for all three of them.

“Roxas,” Pence said, causing Roxas to look up. Something in his voice reminded Roxas of when they met - when Pence took pity on some quiet loner and made friends with him. “You know we’ve missed you, right?”

Roxas searched inside himself. Pence sounded so sincere, but he almost couldn’t believe it - because he felt like he’d been alone for so long, sat atop all that frozen sadness in his cold fury in a world of hurt that never seemed to stop-

 _Until recently,_ he reminded himself. Axel may have brought the heat to start evaporating away all the water, but in that process Roxas had also started restoring his own strength. It was novel, and he’d always _miss_ Hay _,_ but it was such a heavy weight off of him that he didn’t even consciously know he’d been carrying around. But this realization left him feeling suddenly exhausted - like he’d only just allowed himself to think that maybe he didn’t need to wallow in all the pain. And like he could share it with the two people across from him - the only two people in the world who might have a shred of a clue of what he was going through. Who were here handing him an _out,_ an extra pair of hands, if only he would take it.

“...you don’t have to be alone, you know? We don’t mean to insert ourselves where we’re not welcome,” Pence’s voice sounded strained as he kept talking under Roxas’ thoughts, “but we-”

“I’m sorry!” Roxas blurted out. “I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry. I owe you both so much more. I’m sorry I was so angry. I’m sorry I blamed you. I’m sorry. You don’t have to accept my apology but- I know I don’t deserve it.” Roxas fought off tears. He found he really, truly forgave them, even as he felt like someone was hugging him tight and he was finding it hard to breathe. 

“Oh, Rox,” Pence said, reaching his hand out over the table to Roxas’ shoulder. Roxas was startled at the gesture, and it suddenly felt more meaningful that any words ever could. “It’s okay. We forgive you.”

Olette nodded and Roxas felt a tear inside himself rip wide open. If they could forgive him, maybe it was time to start trying to forgive himself.

* * *

**AXEL:** **_How did seeing your old friends go?_ **

Axel texted Roxas while he was still with Pence and Olette, and while he had noticed he’d yet to text back. He composed the answer in his head on the way to work, his heart swelling at the thought of Axel being so supportive and ebbing a little when thinking what he might say back. He wanted to be honest, but he wasn’t sure it was a conversation he could have exclusively through text.

By the time Roxas clocked into his overnight, he was feeling slightly miserable and already extremely exhausted. With the way the conversation with Olette and Pence had ended, he felt like a wet rag that had been twisted and squeezed one too many times. He hadn’t sobbed or fallen into hysterics, and for that he was proud, but with the few tears he had shed it had been an uphill battle to keep all his emotions from tumbling out of him. 

Even so, there was a significant part of him that felt just a little lighter. And he thought that _maybe_ he’d regained ground with two of his oldest friends in the world.

“Roxas, hey! Riku and I are planning a pre-concert party at our place, you know to pregame and skip the exorbitant prices at the concessions, and we were wondering if you wanted to...” Sora’s cheerful voice tapered off and Roxas felt a hand on his shoulder. He tried not to flinch at the contact. “Hey, what's wrong?” Sora asked, his tone concerned, “bad date?”

Roxas shook his head. Sora’s question made him feel even worse. In all his emotional turmoil he’d forgotten about actually texting Axel back. _Well, I guess that’s one thing I can fix and stop composing it in my head,_ he thought to himself, _maybe I’m not a complete cock-up of a boyfriend._

He pulled his phone back out and opened the texts from Axel. He stared at the screen for a long moment before typing **_Better than I thought it would,_** and hitting send. _There._ That would suffice, and could leave the really important parts for when he saw Axel next.

Less than a second passed before Axel texted a smiley face in response. Just seeing it light up his screen, Roxas felt something spark in him - feeling for the first time that he really, truly could tell Axel everything if he wanted to. Or nothing at all if he didn’t. There was no pressure, no demands, just the ability to share with him with no judgement. Not that it hadn’t been that way with Hayner, but it felt like with Axel it was a whole deeper level of openness since they both came with so much heartache attached. Or at least in his case-

“If you want to talk about it you can, you know?” Sora was smiling at him, but it wasn’t a very big one. “I mean, if you want to, that is. I know we’re at work. But if there’s trouble in paradise I can help! I give really good advice-”

“No, it’s nothing like that,” Roxas said, popping open his phone. 

“Oh, okay,” Sora’s voice faltered slightly, before picking back up. “So, party before the concert, you in?”

“Sure, I’ll be there,” Roxas committed, slightly absentmindedly, as he thought about what he wanted - _no, needed_ \- to say back to Axel.

“Great!” Sora’s smile beamed at him. “It’s going to be so much fun! I’m going to make my famous Sora punch! I call it Mega-Elixir. And Riku was thinking about maybe barbecuing, and my best friend said she’s bringing cupcakes, which is amazing because she’s literally the best baker I know!”

“That’s great, Sora,” Roxas said, trying to sound as sincere as he could while typing and erasing several texts to Axel, feeling tired and still a little unsure of what to say. All he wanted to do was curl up in Axel’s arms and take a long nap… **_Wish I was cuddling with you,_ **he typed. Hoping that it didn’t sound too concerning or desperate, and knowing that it was the truth, he hit send.

“I know!” Sora continued excitedly. “I keep telling her to open a bakery, but _no!_ She wants to climb the corporate ladder and play the very safe game. Not that I can blame her. But damn she makes the yummiest sweets. Only last week she made double chocolate brownies with sugar cookie chunks inside. I mean, I didn’t even know that flavor combination existed! Oh! Then it inspired us to play this game. Okay, so, it’s silly, I know, but it was ‘if you were a sweet, what would you be?’ Riku said I would be honey because I’m always sweet and gooey. And he said sticky, but I don’t think I’m supposed to repeat that here. Wait a minute...” 

Roxas watched as Sora’s cheeks flushed as he realized what he said and quickly launched into more explanation as if to cover his embarrassment. “I said that was silly, because honey wasn’t a sweet but an ingredient.” _Or maybe he wasn’t bothered by it at all_ , Roxas thought as Sora pressed on, his voice leveling out as he let out a small laugh before diving back in, “Then he said ‘well if it’s so easy, you tell me - what would I be?’ and then I said he’d be a cake pop because they’ve got that crunchy outside and extra sweet center, you know?” Sora smiled. “And then my best friend made a joke about the shape - _balls,_ you know? And then of course Riku had to retaliate and before you know it we were all laughing hysterically! I guess you had to be there, but it was amazing.”

“Yeah, sounds like a riot,” Roxas agreed, checking his phone, wondering if Axel was texting him back.

Sora laughed. “I mean, I thought it was pretty perfect, personally! It’s not as easy as it looks on short notice, you know. To play the game. Like, what sweet would you be?”

“A cinnamon roll.” The words rolled off Roxas’ lips without him even having to think about them, and for the first time in hours Roxas felt those familiar smoldering coals brilliantly flare to life in his stomach. 

“Oh. My. God!” Sora punctuated each word. “You’re really fucking good at this game! Not what I would have picked, but I can completely see it!”

“My boyfriend would agree with you,” Roxas said off handedly, as his phone pinged. Excited, he clicked it open, only to look up when Sora let out a loud squeal.

 _“Boyfriend?!”_ he exclaimed, “I was going to ask what I would be, but this is so much more important! Is this the same redheaded hottie Riku met? And then Naminé? How come I haven’t met him yet?” Sora pouted for a moment but it passed quickly when his eyes brightened, “You should totally invite him to the party! I _need_ to meet him.”

“I’ll think about it,” Roxas said, mostly to get Sora to stop squeaking - _how did he get his voice so high?_ Not that Roxas normally minded, but today it was too much and he was getting a little headache. _And when had he talked to Naminé?_

“Invite him,” Sora said, in his normal voice again, “seriously. The more the merrier.”

“Okay,” Roxas said, offering a small smile that only grew when he finally read Axel’s message. 

**AXEL:** **_Just cuddling? ;)_ **

“He’s coming to my gallery show, right?” Naminé asked, turning the corner.

“Were you _eavesdropping_ _?”_ Sora asked with a smile. “That’s not very nice.”

“It’s kind of hard not to, when you’re broadcasting…”

Roxas let their voices fade into the background as he looked down at his phone again, **_I could use the hug,_ ** Roxas typed honestly **,** **_but I wouldn’t say no to more._ **He hit send.

“So you and Axel will be there, right Roxas?” Naminé asked almost shyly.

Roxas nodded. “Sure, when is it again?”

“Next weekend - opening night is Friday.”

“Riku and I won’t miss it!” Sora squealed as Roxas’ phone pinged. “I can’t wait to see what you did with the new idea we came up with.”

“Awesome. I think it’s all going to be really good,” Naminé said softly before turning to Roxas. “Tell Axel if he wants to invite his friend too”—her cheeks flushed as she looked down—“I think, I mean, they’re also welcome.”

“Will do,” Roxas said, turning back to his phone. 

**AXEL:** **_Ah, boss-level cuddling. Luckily I’ve been leveling up with a certain Cinnamon Roll just for this._ **

Roxas smiled, feeling the heat catch inside him. He knew he had a lot to talk about with his redhead, but right now _this_ was what he needed. He just needed to get through the night. And knowing Axel would be there, only a text away, was a thought that gave him a safe harbor in a deep sea of ebbing sorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much is happening! And there's so much more to come. Thank you to everyone for all the amazing Comments and Kudos - you all make my life <3
> 
> As always, for more fun join me over on [tumblr](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/)


	13. Axel turnover

**Chapter 13 - Axel turnover**

Five days. It had only been five days, Roxas had to remind himself, but five days without seeing his boyfriend felt far too long now. He’d seen Axel the day after his meeting with Pence and Olette, and Axel had held him while he’d relayed all the emotionally charged moments. Since then, their schedules seemed at odds. The nights that Roxas had off work, Axel had GED study sessions, and the nights Axel didn’t, Roxas had to work. And yet he found himself thinking - more than once or twice - about how nice it would be to crawl into Axel’s arms and just have him _hold_ him again. How incredible it always was and how he longed for it. It surprised him a little because it wasn’t sexual - though he wanted that too - but this was a different need, and one Roxas suspected Axel might have seen in him long before he realized it in himself.

That’s not to say they hadn’t talked. They had texted back and forth - sharing various memes, and pictures and talking about whatever came to mind. They had even made plans to meet with Xion for lunch in a couple weeks - which Roxas was actually looking forward to - in addition to playing the “if you were a sweet, what would you be?” game. Roxas had turned the tables on Axel, demanding to know what he thought he’d be. After the obligatory chocolate covered banana joke, it had turned out they decided that Axel was a s’more - golden outside, fiery warm inside, and Roxas always wanted _s’more._ It was _light_ and fun, and it kept Roxas from falling deep down into his depression and spiraling out of control again. 

But he was still overeager to see his boyfriend. Which was why when he showed up a little early to surprise Axel he didn’t send him any texts - he just knocked on the door of his apartment.

“Coming!” came a muffled voice from inside as Roxas heard more voices. He tried to zero in on the sound when the door opened, and a man with blue hair that matched his eyes looked at him from the sliver of the doorframe.

“Can I help you?”

Roxas blinked back his surprise as he stuttered, “Ah yeah, I just-”

“Whatever you’re selling, we’re not buying,” his voice wasn’t loud, per se, but firm and resolute as the blue haired man moved to shut the door.

“No wait, please,” Roxas said, taking a step forward to catch the edge of the door with his foot. “I’m here to see Axel. You must be his roommate…” Roxas could hear the question in his tone as his voice trailed off.

“No,” the man said, raising his eyebrows, resigned, and throwing open the door. “Just the roommate’s boy-”

“ROXAS!” Axel’s voice was loud and cheerful as he bounded into the doorway. “Stand aside, Tutor Schemer! This one is all mine.” His smile was wide and he looked at Roxas, who glanced between them.

_“Tutor Schemer?”_

“Oh! Are you the one helping Axel with his GED test prep stuff?” Roxas asked as Axel latched onto his wrist and started to pull him away.

“Roxas - Schemer,” Axel introduced in a haste with a smile, “Schemer meet Roxas - he’s going to be taking over my lessons for the rest of the day, okay? Why don’t you call up Dem and tell him what you told me, huh?” 

Roxas caught a glance of ‘Schemer’ hanging his face in his hands and shaking his head as Axel pulled them away into his room and shut the door. “Oh my god, Rox. Do you ever have perfect timing, baby!” he said, sounding hilariously relieved - like Roxas had really done him a favor - as he leaned down to kiss him hello. 

Roxas let out a small giggle. “Oh? Saving you from the Big Bad Tutor?”

“Ugh, fucking studying is the worst,” Axel said, falling back on his bed and pulling Roxas on top of him - both landing with a small thud. Roxas smiled at the dramatics and he curled himself into Axel’s side, all thoughts of the weird encounter at the door falling away as Axel ran his hand up and down Roxas’ back. Sparks ignited along Roxas’ spine under his fingers as Axel kept talking, “I knew there was a reason I left school to begin with! That’s a joke. In case that wasn’t clear. Well actually it’s only kind of a joke, because I wasn’t bad at school really - I just stopped going. But I can’t shake this feeling that all this stuff is supposed to come easy because I should have learned everything earlier in life and know it all already-”

“There’s no need to know it already,” Roxas said into Axel’s shoulder, “and my offer to help you still stands if Tutor Extraordinare isn’t cutting it.”

“Nah - it’s not him,” Axel said, threading his fingers through Roxas’ hair, “it’s me. You just happened to show up at a perfect break moment. My hero!” Claiming Roxas’ lips again, Axel wrapped his arms tightly around him and Roxas felt something inside him release.

“I’m so happy to see you,” Roxas breathed out without thinking about it. “I missed you.”

“It’s only been a couple of days, baby,” Axel said as he laughed sweetly, “but you want to know a secret? I missed you too.”

They shared a soft smile as Roxas watched Axel’s green eyes brighten. “Oh good,” he muttered into Axel’s shoulder before kissing his cheek. They cuddled for a few moments in the silence of the room before Axel started outlining fancy patterns along the bottom of Roxas’ shirt. It was gradual but Roxas could feel his cock stir to attention as Axel’s soft fingers teased his skin. He let out a soft sigh and moved in closer, closing the distance between them.

“Do you realize what you do to me, baby?” Axel asked, breathing against his ear. “How perfect you fit in my arms?”

“I’ve been wanting to be in your arms for _days_ now, so better make it worth my while,” Roxas teased. 

“Oh I’m going to make you mine, and make sure the whole world knows it,” Axel said directly into his ear, and Roxas’ cock stood at attention at the words while a gasp caught in his throat. _Did that mean what he thought it did?_

“Did you get your test results back?” Roxas asked, feeling his heart race in his chest.

“Final clean bill of health came in my email two hours ago,” Axel said with a grin, pulling out his phone and showing Roxas the screen. “You’re free to read it, but the brothels are all very thorough. We had to do bi-weekly tests and I’m even more paranoid. We can keep using condoms it you want but-”

Roxas leaned forward to crush his lips to Axel’s, kissing him passionately. They had texted about this a little while ago - waiting for Axel’s final clean bill of health - but for some reason going bare had felt like this weird implausibility, so Roxas had relegated it to the back of his mind. But now that it was here and he was with Axel it felt like such a monumental moment, bigger than he had even thought it could be.

Roxas panted when he finally pulled away. “You’re serious?” 

“Absolutely,” Axel said, his tone serious but his body language curled into Roxas, snuggling them close. “You can read the results for yourself, that’s why I gave you my-”

“Oh, I want you,” Roxas found himself admitting, leaning into Axel, kissing everywhere he could reach. Nothing else in the world felt more important than making Axel feel good. Anything he could give in that moment he would. Leaning forward he pressed Axel down into the mattress and climbed on top of him, kissing with everything he had, letting himself feel the embers of the fire within him catch fire as they ground together - bodies warm and rutting into each other almost gently as they moved together.

 _“Baby,"_ Axel moaned softly, “whatever you want.”

“What do you want?” Roxas pulled back long enough to ask the question.

“You,” Axel said, sitting them up to flip them over to Roxas was now on the mattress. He snuggled into the blankets under him and Axel looked down at him, green eyes drinking in the sight. “I want all of you,” he said, kissing up Roxas' torso, slowly lifting up his shirt as he went. “My sweetest Cinnamon Roll,” he said in-between kisses, “my sweet cheeks.” 

A part of Roxas realized his shirt had been slipped over his head and pulled off him entirely, but the feel of Axel’s hands on him, his lips traveling across his skin and leaving small bonfires in their wake, was driving him so wild he almost didn’t register his changed state. He writhed helplessly on the blankets and Axel continued to explore, lavishing his body with kisses. It was consuming and Roxas knew he was making noises but he couldn’t seem to _stop_. He didn’t even want to - he just wanted to sink into the bed and enjoy every single sensation as they overtook him.

“Uh, feels so good,” Roxas cried out, “you make me feel so much.”

“I know, baby, it’s okay,” Axel said, the tone of his voice filled with so much accepting love that Roxas felt his bones melt. “I want you to feel. I want everything you can give me.” And with that Axel was kissing his lips again. The taste of him, smokey and sweet, landed on Roxas’ tongue and exploded in his brain. There was something different about Axel tonight - like a power that hadn’t been able to be set free before had been leveled up and Roxas found he couldn’t get enough.

Suddenly he wanted to touch Axel so badly it ached. Reaching up he trailed his hand under Axel’s shirt, pulling it up slowly until Axel reached down and pulled it off over his head. Looking down at Roxas with his captivating eyes and those gorgeous tattoos, his milky-white skin catching the limited light in the room and _sparkling_ like fresh snow around a roaring fire, and he wanted _more_ . Roxas felt like he’d walked into a cutscene in a game - he almost couldn’t believe he was here, that Axel’s hard cock pressing into his stomach was because of _him_ \- but here he was. And he was ready to give Axel everything he could. He felt his eyes water at the thought.

“What’s wrong, love?” Axel said gently, reaching down to brush a tear away. 

“Nothing,” Roxas said honestly, “I just can’t believe how lucky I am.”

Axel let out a small smile. “You’re lucky?” he asked. “I’m the one with an incredibly delicious Cinnabon in my bed.” 

“You look amazing though,” Roxas said, “and feel amazing, and are everything, and I can’t- you’re just so _hot.”_ At the last word Roxas strained up and pressed his cock against Axel’s ass. Axel reached around to cup it through the fabric and Roxas heard a long moan escape his lips.

Roxas let himself fall back into the amazing sensations as Axel hooked the waistband of his pants and pulled down. Roxas wasn’t even sure how it happened - one minute he was straining up into the fabric of his jeans and now, despite still being under Axel, they were on the floor along with his boxers. His cock strained up into the air and begged to be touched - precum leaking out of the tip as Roxas tried not to thrust his hips up into Axel’s waiting hand as he palmed him.

“Oh, someone’s eager,” Axel said, moving downwards, his hand never leaving Roxas’ cock. “I love how hard you get for me, baby,” he said before his mouth came down and swallowed Roxas whole. Roxas moaned and pressed up into Axel’s mouth, which surrounded his cock like a forest fire, causing his hips to arch off the bed. Axel’s hand came up to trace along his hip as he lavished Roxas’ cock with attention licking and sucking, swallowing Roxas down over and over.

“Ahhh,” Roxas moaned and Axel continued to taste him. Lips locked tightly around the base of his cock and Roxas lost himself in ecstasy. It was incredibly hot, and as he watched Axel work, sucking Roxas’ cock like it was candy. Roxas felt something inside him melt as the intensity of the inferno built. “Ohhh fuck me,” he blurted without thinking about it, just knowing he wanted it - wanted all of Axel - everything the other man could give.

Axel stopped lavishing his cock and looked up at him, pulling off slowly. “Really, sweetheart? Is that what you want?”

At first Roxas couldn’t focus enough to realize what he was being asked - what _Axel_ was asking him. All he knew was that he felt empty and hollow and _wanted -_ wanted by Axel in anyway he could have him. “Yesss,” he hissed before looking down and locking eyes with his boyfriend. He took a quick, shaky breath. "I want you to fuck me."

Axel didn’t ask if he was sure, there must have been something in his eyes because he just moved down to suck on Roxas’ balls, and Roxas fell back into the mattress at the sudden addition of heat as Axel traced figure-eights with his tongue before moving lower to take a swipe at his hole.

The sensation caused Roxas to lift off the bed. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had gone down on him like this and here Axel was, licking his asshole like it was his last link to life, moaning into it, both of their gasps filling the room. The feeling of Axel’s tongue on him, licking _inside_ him, was like pouring gasoline on an already intense fire - and when Axel moved back up and reached for lube, Roxas felt like he could cum a hundred times and it wouldn’t be enough. He wanted this feeling to last forever, unconsciously spreading his legs wider to give Axel total access - he hadn’t even known he’d missed this so much.

“Mm, your ass - you really live up to your name, sweet cheeks,” Axel praised, his voice sultry, and Roxas felt the fire inside him burst to life and he lost himself to it.

Axel took his time preparing Roxas until his bones were jelly and he gripped the sheets to keep himself from floating away. The feeling of Axel’s fingers breaching him, touching inside him, was almost too much - the pleasure and the pain rippling through him until all he could concentrate on was Axel above him.

“Are you ready, sweet cheeks?” Axel grinned down at him, and Roxas wanted nothing more than Axel inside of him. He writhed and wiggled, pressed down on Axel’s fingers as they continued to scissor his hole. He felt a deep rush of hunger mix with the fire in his stomach as he looked up into Axel’s eyes.

“More than!” he cried out. “Baby, I’m ready. Want you so bad!”

"Yessss," Axel hissed, moving into the space between Roxas's thighs. Roxas felt the heat of Axel's exposed cock as it rested against his ass. Roxas wasn’t sure when Axel had lost his own pants, but suddenly he wanted, _needed,_ to touch his boyfriend’s cock - to give it all the attention he’d gotten. He clumsily reached down for it, but Axel caught his hand and pinned it above his head. 

“Nah ah, babe,” Axel said, “this is all about you.”

Roxas felt his insides melt like butter as Axel slotted his cock between Roxas’ cheeks. Instead of pressing in right away though, he teased him with lazy thrusts, sliding the head of his cock back and forth over Roxas’ hungry hole. Roxas groaned.

“You look so hot, Roxy.” Axel’s teasing tone tingled his spine as he pressed Roxas’ legs to the side so they were on a diagonal angle across his body - his knees high up and his cock hard and jutting up in between them. Roxas felt a bead of precum leak onto his thigh as Axel lined himself up and began to press in.

The pleasurable burn of Axel filling him up, stretching his hole so it hugged the long cock, was one that Roxas found himself pressing into and moaning, loudly - his voice igniting the air as Axel responded with groans of his own that went straight to Roxas’ cock. Tentatively he squeezed his ass, causing Axel to gasp at the impossible pressure around his cock. Trapped in Roxas’ ass, Axel let out a soft whine that made Roxas laugh. Not wanting to delay things more though, he relaxed and Axel pressed in further – sheathing himself inside and allowing Roxas to completely encase him. When he bottomed out he wasted no time leaning down and kissing Roxas mercilessly. Their kisses radiating heat and want, their bodies naturally pressing together like they had always been one.

“Oh, baby.” Axel’s green eyes danced and he pushed Roxas back down with amusement and something else in his expression that Roxas was too strung out to read. “We’re being so loud. Being so naughty with my roommate home,” he teased, and the sound went right to Roxas’ cock which was already hard as granite and begging for release.

Roxas must have been louder than he thought, but he didn’t _care_. Axel was inside him, filling him, and he was loving it. Not that he hadn't enjoyed being fucked by Hayner, but it had never been like this before. Even the roommate reminder could diminish his erection - quite the opposite, he hardened further at the thought, straining up as he got used to the feel of Axel inside him - a feeling he never wanted to forget, and already wanted again and again.

“I don’t care,” he panted out, “just want you. All of you.”

“Oh, baby,” Axel’s voice was soft. “The things you _do_ to me.” 

He groaned. Slowly Axel started to move, sucking on Roxas’ neck as he rocked his hips. Their ragged breathing filled the air as Axel built up speed. Roxas felt like smoking embers in a raging fire - the storm burning deep within him, saying all the words he couldn’t, and filling him with feelings of completeness he’d never really felt before when bottoming.

There was something about Axel being inside him that felt unlike anything Roxas had ever experienced before. It was more than just the size of his cock and the thrusting of his hips, which was nearly graceful, but it was the way he pressed up against Roxas’ sweet spot - his cock long enough to tease his prostate on the way in and the way out. The constant torrent of pleasure hit him with every thrust, making it hard to think - Roxas had to remember to breathe. The blazing heat of Axel pressed against him and he found himself surrendering to it - loving the feeling and never wanting it to end.

Roxas reached down to stroke his cock but found he couldn’t concentrate - the pleasure was too great, the feeling overwhelming. He could hear his own moans fill the air as Axel rocked his hips in and out. It felt amazing to be held down as Axel thrust into him and Roxas could feel himself coming unglued. Reaching up he grabbed for any part of Axel he could, wanting to touch him - burn into the fire that was Axel’s hot body above his.

Axel’s heart beat, strong and frantic, under Roxas’ hand and his thrusts became just as frenzied. With a cry Axel came inside him, his hot cock pulsing and releasing his load. Being filled up with his milky release drove Roxas over the edge and he suddenly found himself cumming. He gasped, lost to the feeling as he unleashed his seed all over his stomach, spurts even catching on his chin. His heart rate pulsed and he could hear the hot rush of blood in his ears as he rode out the high, gasping Axel’s name. The redhead looked down at him with those green eyes and gorgeous tattoos that caught Roxas in the sweetest daze - like he was waking up from the world’s greatest dream.

“Baby,” Axel breathed leaning down to kiss him, which Roxas responded to with exhausted fervor, pressing their lips together for just an extra moment longer, loving the feel of Axel’s mouth on his. Warmth spread to his toes and Axel traced small swirls through the cum on his chest - it felt like a sideways figure eight - before the other man pulled his softening cock out from inside him. Roxas almost cried out at the loss, but as he lowered his legs back down a new sense of satisfaction returned as he felt Axel’s hot cum run down his inner thighs.

He was suddenly very glad that his first time bottoming for Axel was raw. His ass felt slightly sore but Roxas couldn’t be bothered to care. It was entirely worth it to be filled up with a load big enough to run down his leg.

“I love being full of you,” Roxas said, planting a kiss on Axel’s lips. “Fuck it’s so hot.”

Axel looked down at him like he was something precious. There was a look in his eyes that Roxas hadn’t seen before, and he felt something explode inside him as Axel kissed him back - it felt whole and full and perfect.

“Let’s get cleaned up,” Axel whispered as he pulled away, like he regretted that he had to. “And then we have the whole night to do whatever you want, babycakes.”

 _“Whatever_ I want?” Roxas teased curling into Axel, “because a repeat performance wouldn’t be amiss.”

Axel laughed, his smile lighting up his eyes. “Oh, you’re fucking perfect. I can’t believe I get to keep you.”

“Like a shiny Pokemon.” Roxas laughed. “Gotta catch them all, right?”

“Except there’s only one wild shiny Roxas,” Axel teased, “and he’s mine.”

“All yours,” Roxas agreed, leaning into Axel.

* * *

When they finally got cleaned up and dressed, Roxas moved into the kitchen to get a glass of water. He felt flushed, and parched, and so very happy - he could feel it down to his toes. He was filling up a fresh glass when a familiar voice came from behind him.

“Roxas!? _You’re_ Screamer?” Demyx asked with surprise and Roxas’ face flushed as he whipped around. His jaw threatening to hit the floor as his manager stood before him.

“Oh come off it, he does not scream,” Axel said with a laugh, lightly slapping Demyx up in the back of his head, as he moved into the kitchen, taking a sip of Roxas’ water before handing it back. “And I would know. You should apologize.”

Roxas felt a tug of war in his heart as Axel defended him. He wanted to kiss him, but he settled for taking a drink instead.

Demyx turned to look back at Axel, his cheeks slight red. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, “but now I have leverage with Sora. I think he’s the last one who hasn’t met Axel. But then I had no idea you were ‘the adorable cinnabon’ he was dating.” Demyx grinned at Roxas like all was forgiven. 

“Uh yeah,” Roxas said, stepping forward, _“you’re_ Axel's roommate?”

“Yeah! Well, maybe more like he’s mine? Axel and I are old friends - we used to play together - and when he needed a room, it was really good timing. I mean I already told you some of this, I know, but I didn’t know you two knew each other and-“

“Play together? What, like playdates, or in a band? Wait,” Roxas said, interrupting himself with a thought he turned toward Axel, “if you two are roommates why didn’t you know about Larxene?”

“What? Working with you?” Axel asked, moving to put his arm around Roxas’ shoulders. The move felt casual yet Roxas felt like he’d gained a layer of protection. “Yeah, I’ll give him shit about that later. Apparently someone didn’t think to mention it to me. In fact there's a lot of things he seems to have failed to mention about his work, like you working there.”

“How was I supposed to know you’d go looking for her? Last I heard you two were on the outs,” Demyx protested, “and I didn’t even know that you knew Roxas! You’ve always referred to your boyfriend by nicknames.”

“First off, Larxene and I are still very much on the ‘outs’, as you so kindly put it. And I did _not_ go looking for her,” Axel clarified, though the last bit came out a mumble. “Secondly, I didn’t know that you knew him either! And Roxas is more than worthy of his nicknames.”

Roxas felt his face flush, and his heart pound in his chest. He felt a swell of something towards Axel's protectiveness but, _still,_ he thought, _this was certainly shaping up to be a weird conversation._

“Yeah, yeah,” Demyx said with a small laugh, seeming to back down slightly. “I know you didn’t. And I know I should have told you. I’m apparently all kinds of fucking things up tonight. And speaking of things worth mentioning,” he turned towards Roxas, “yes, like in a band. No playdates in any sense of the word.”

“I’ll say!” Axel agreed jokingly, a big smile on his face. “We used to have quite the jam session, but nothing sexual. Ever.” He said it so matter of factly and Demyx made a face that completely convinced Roxas of that, as he continued. “I’ll skip the intros since you two apparently know each other. Don’t think me too rude - please and thank you. Where’s Schemer?”

“Zexy left about twenty minutes ago. And you know he hates when you call him that.

“Does he like Zexy any better?” Axel teased.

“He’s coming around to it, I think.” Demyx smiled. “So Roxas you staying for dinner? I’m making pasta and-“

“Oh please, no!” Axel cried. “Last time you made pasta you burnt it to the pan and I couldn’t scrape it off after three hours of _trying_ \- the pot is permanently noodle glued now.”

“Oh it’s not _that_ bad, you can’t screw up pasta,” Demyx protested.

“That’s what I thought,” Axel agreed, _“before you did it.”_

Roxas felt the ghost of a smile on his lips as he watched them volley back and forth. It reminded him a little of how Hayner had been with Pence and that tugged at his heartstrings, but he also _knew_ both these men - maybe Axel more intimately, but he’d worked with Demyx for a long while now - and to see them both so _playful_ with each other was pulling at Roxas’ heart in a way he didn’t quite expect.

“We’re going to, I don’t know, go grab a pizza or something,” Axel was saying, swinging his arm around Roxas’ shoulders and pulling him in. “Do you just want us to bring you back one too?”

“Yeah, that’d be great actually,” Demyx said, pulling out his wallet and handing over some munny. “Something with a vegetable since I know you’ll only want extra sausage,” he said with a wink.

“I already have all the sausage I need,” Axel said, kissing Roxas’ cheek, which were already bright red.

“And don’t think this whole building doesn’t know it.” Demyx smiled as he said it.

“Like you and _Zexy_ are any better,” Axel laughed before turning to Roxas. “So what do you say, baby - should we get a pizza?”

“Sounds great,” Roxas agreed, grateful for the moment to get out of the apartment - and he had worked up an appetite. 

“I’m sorry about Demyx,” Axel said as soon as they stepped outside. “Even if I’d known you two worked together, which I didn't, I should have introduced you earlier. You have every right to be upset. Xion would be so pissed if she knew…”

Roxas felt his heart flood with warmth. Axel was apologizing! And it sounded sincere. He paused a moment, looking up into green eyes that were looking down at him with shadows of worry in their depths. “It’s okay,” Roxas reassured, hoping it would get through to Axel. “He’s my manager at the store but I never figured on you two knowing each other. If I had I would have said something to you.”

“I know you would have, sweet cheeks,” Axel said, his voice soft. “I’m sorry I fucked-“

“You’re fine,” Roxas corrected. “You didn’t know.” When Axel made a move to protest, Roxas decided to tease him a little. “Or did you?” He asked playfully but immediately regretted it when Axel shook his head. A weird look settled over his face - serious, and a little disconcerting. 

“Axel? What’s wrong?” Roxas asked sincerely, the words feeling heavy and slightly foreign on his tongue, but necessary. _Communication,_ he reminded himself, _it always helps and you need to do it more._

“I just, oh Rox, I’m gonna get all mushy on you.”

Roxas grinned. 

“I’ve never, I just, this is new for me. Sex is easy. But the relationship bit, the boyfriend part, that’s all new. And it's exciting and scary and amazing all at the same time, and I know you’re worth everything because when I look at you, I see... I feel...” his voice trailed off into the air and Roxas grabbed his hand and squeezed. 

“Yes?” He gently encouraged. 

“Everything. To start with, before you, I never felt anything at all. And now I feel everything and it's all so new to me.”

Roxas felt something inside him settle at Axel’s words. Squeezing his hand tightly, he looked over at his boyfriend, who looked so sexy and fiery and tall beside him, and nodded. “You’re new for me too. And trust me, I want this - you - more than I have words for. It’s scary - especially after Hayner - but you make me want to try. And not knowing that you lived with Demyx isn’t going to irrevocably fuck shit up.”

“Only minorly?” Axel asked with a teasing grin. 

“Yeah,” Roxas replied, sticking his tongue out. “That’s how that works.”

“Except it’s not,” Axel said beside him. 

“No it’s not,” Roxas agreed, “but I think you’ll have to try harder if you want to get rid of me...” Roxas let his voice trail off as he realized just what he was saying. Hayner had certainly succeeded in doing just that. It was possible- it was-

“No need to worry, baby. I don’t want to go anywhere and I don’t want you to be with anyone else.”

Relief flooded through Roxas like a hot spring. “I think that you’ve become my everything.” He mildly surprised himself with the words but he knew they were true. Love felt too big to admit now, on their way to pick up pizza, but this he could say. 

Axel gave him an adoring look and his eyes were bright. “You’ve become my heart,” he said seriously, “it’s only fair I can return the favor somehow.”

Roxas grabbed his hand and squeezed. They didn’t let go until Axel moved to push open the door to the pizza place that Roxas could smell from a block away. Pizza Cut was not far from the apartment and the inside was pretty packed with kids - and even some older teens - running around eating pizza and playing some of the various arcade games around. Most were older, Roxas caught _Burger Time_ out of the corner of his eye, but there were some newer games as well - a dance game was in the back and Roxas watched two kids, who looked about fourteen, battle it out as Axel ordered their pizza.

It tugged at his heartstrings. The pair were so in _sync_ with each other. _Just like-_

“They said it would be twenty-five minutes,” Axel informed him when he came back. “Do you want to play a game in the meantime?”

“Sure,” Roxas agreed, maybe a little too quickly, looking up at his boyfriend. “What did you have in mind?”

“Let’s get some change and find out,” Axel said, leading them over to the change machine and pulling bills to convert.

A head to head game of _Tron_ Pinball later, which Roxas won, their pizza still wasn’t done, so they circled the floor looking for the next game to play.

“Oh this is my favorite! I haven’t seen this in years,” Axel said as he excitedly darted towards an arcade game that looked like it was peeling from age. It said _Hyperdrive_ on the side in a font that told Roxas that the game was clearly a couple decades old. The sight of Axel draping himself over the game made Roxas giggle. “Play this game with me!” Axel called happily as Roxas followed him over.

“Okay, okay,” Roxas agreed, grabbing one of the two joysticks, “but I’ve never played this game before.”

Axel looks over at him in mock horror. “What?”

“Yeah. I mean it’s old as-”

“Watch it! I’m not much older than you.”

Roxas laughed. “I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it,” he said, touching the joystick very suggestively, “and I’ll whip your ass too.”

“Hm,” Axel moaned, leaning into Roxas to whisper directly in his ear, “I’d like anything you do to my ass.”

“Oh!” Roxas exclaimed with a giggle. “Just you wait! Do you want to play or not?”

“Of course!” Axel said excitedly, dropping quarters in the game. The screen loaded with some backstory cutscene - but Axel jumped right past it.

“Hey!” Roxas cried in mock protest, knocking their shoulders together, “How am I supposed to become invested in the storyline now?”

“If we’re going to beat this game, we don’t have all night, sweet cheeks,” Axel said, kissing his cheek. 

“Beat the game?”

“Yup - only takes about an hour.”

Roxas looked up at him, a little stunned. “You mean you’ve beat it before?”

“What? Does that surprise you?” Axel smiled. “You act like I’m shit at games.”

“No, not that,” Roxas grumbled as he piloted his spaceship on the screen. He felt impressed - somehow it’s sexy that Axel had beat this game - especially seeing that it was one he'd never heard of before. Something that he rarely encountered. “It’s just our pizza will be done before that.”

“We better get playing then,” Axel said, “so we can get to level five!”

“You mean we didn’t level up to level five already?” Roxas mock-gasped.

“No you’re right,” Axel said thoughtfully, turning toward him, “what do you say we skip level five and jump right to level eight?”

“That feels like cheating,” Roxas said with a laugh just as something hit his spaceship. “Aw, shit!

“It’s not cheating,” Axel said, moving to stand behind Roxas and cup his hands on the joystick.

Then what is it?" Roxas teased. "Are you trying to skip to the ending? Is that how we win?"

"It just seems like a more fitting level. And besides, we're already winners."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited roommate reveal! Plus sexy times and some pizza (extra sausage!)
> 
> Thank you to everyone's Comments and Kudos. Your encouragement inspires me to keep writing 🧡 
> 
> 🔥 as always, join me on [tumblr](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/) for more


	14. solid as a Rox

**Chapter 14 - solid as a Rox**

Warm hands were wrapped around him from behind. Soft lips kissed behind his ear before moving down to place a single kiss at the nape of his neck. Roxas bit back a grown as he felt his chest constrict tightly from the contact.

_“Rox,”_ the voice behind him said. It was soft and sad, but also sweet, and Roxas recognized the speaker immediately. A shiver traveled down his spine.

‘I miss you,’ Roxas tried to get out, but the words wouldn’t come. It was like someone had stolen his voice. The sounds were trapped in his throat. The warm arms continued to simply hold him.

“You don’t have to hold back.”

Roxas felt like he really might start to cry. The arms felt so real. The hands softly pressing into him. For all he thought he was healing, he still _missed-_

“I know we said forever.”

Roxas wanted to run away from the arms that held him but all the struggle and fight was gone from his veins. 

“Our love will be there in some form until the end of time.”

The fight left him and he surrendered to the hold. Gold filtered around the edge of his consciousness as he struggled to wake himself up.

"Even if I couldn't be."

Just hearing those words, even trapped in his own mind, Roxas felt something break. ‘I need you,’ he thought. Tried to call out, but again the words wouldn’t pass his lips. 

“No.” The word was strong and assured, like he had any clue, like Hay had _heard_ him. “What's important isn't how often we see each other, but how often we think about each other. Right?"

Roxas wanted to say something, anything. Say how much he loved him. How much he missed him. Wanted to turn around and see Hayner standing there behind him. Wanted to forgive him. But a layer of golden fog clouded his movements and threatened to swallow him up.

“...ready, Rox?”

_Ready? Ready for what? What words had he missed? It felt like there was more._ There was always more. The feeling of the warm arms were fading around his waist. Roxas began to panic. _He was going to lose him again! He was-_

“....Rox….”

“ _No,_ Hay!”

“Rox.”

“Roxas.”

“Roxas!”

“ROXAS!” Axel called as he pounded on his back door, startling Roxas awake on his couch. 

Mickey, who had been sleeping on Roxas’ chest leapt off with enough pressure to make Roxas let out an ‘oomph’ as the knocking on the glass continued.

“Okay, okay, I’m up!” Roxas sat up and rubbed his eyes. “A dream. A dream about him,” he muttered under his breath as his brain still scrambled from the dream he’d rather forget but also longed to remember every detail of. It wasn’t often he dreamed of Hayner since he’d died, but every time he did he woke up feeling so lost and alone. This time the hurt he felt in his chest felt all-consuming - as if he’d taken the fog from the dream into reality. 

Axel grinned at him from the other side of the glass, gesturing for him to come over. Slowly, finding his footing and continuing to remove the sleep from his eyes, Roxas padded over to the door and unlocked it - letting in the fresh air and one tall red haired boyfriend who slammed into him, hugging him tight, before moving back and grabbing his shoulders tightly. Looking Roxas up and down, he gave him a once over before claiming his lips in a kiss.

“Well, that’s one way to wake up,” Roxas said softly, almost dazed, when they pulled back. He was filled with a little disbelief, still feeling some regret and loss towards the dream, but also open to the man in front of him who claimed his lips like they were his own. _Who’d made his life worth living again and filled his soul with purpose-_

“Wake up?” Axel asked, looking slightly concerned, “do you have any idea what time it is?”

“Too early,” Roxas replied seriously, moving back towards the kitchen and inviting Axel inside. He didn’t even spare a thought to if the redhead followed him - he had every intention to make a coffee and get a mental grip on himself and the dream.

“Since when is eleven a.m. too early?” Axel said, reaching down to grab Roxas’ hips from behind, pulling him back. Roxas melted into the touch as Axel kissed the top of his head. “And aren’t you forgetting something?”

_Forgetting something?_ Roxas blinked but couldn’t get the dream out of his mind. It clouded all his thoughts. Leaning back into Axel he tried to think of anything else, but nothing was coming to mind. Even the way Axel was holding him right now reminded him of the dream. He let out a long sigh.

“Did you finally remember?” Axel asked, leaning down to kiss his neck. A shudder ran through Roxas’ body.

“No,” he confessed, “all I can think about is this dream I had.”

“Hm? Good dream?” Axel nuzzled his neck, affectionately.

“Well, remember how I told you about Hayner?” He didn’t wait for Axel to respond, he knew he remembered. There wasn’t much the redhead didn’t remember. “He was there. In it.”

“Hmmm,” Axel hummed as he rested his head on his, “Maybe, if you feel comfortable, you should tell Xion about it. She’s really into dream interpretation.”

At the mention of Xion the plans for the day wriggled free in Roxas’ mind. “Oh, shit!” he exclaimed. “We’re meeting Xion today, aren’t we?”

“Now he remembers,” Axel teased.

“Sorry, I didn’t really forget - just got overwhelmed.”

“It’s okay, Sugar. Just be glad I got you up so you can get your sleepy self dressed.”

“What?” Roxas said, turning around in Axel’s arms to look up at his boyfriend. Green eyes burned down at him and he longed to trace the tattoos with his fingers. Instead he slid his hands to Axel’s ass and pulled them even closer together so their bodies ground into each other. “You don’t think I look good in pajamas?”

“I think you look great in pajamas,” Axel said seriously, his eyes looking brightly down at him, “but I think you’d feel better if you showered and changed.”

“Hm,” Roxas said, now tracing circles over the sensitive spot on Axel’s hip with his thumb, “I don’t change for just anyone, you know?”

Axel threw his head back and laughed. “I meant your clothes, sweet cheeks,” he said in between chuckles.

“I didn’t think it was _that_ funny,” Roxas mock-pouted.

“You’re just that adorable,” Axel responded, and Roxas couldn’t help but smile.

“I’m adorable, huh?”

“Yes, very,” Axel said seriously, pulling back slightly as if to get a good look at him. “Adorable and sexy.”

“Aw, now I’m sexy too?”

“Yes. You’re all things.”

Roxas felt his chest fill with warmth - less like the tight constricting feeling the dream had left him with, and more of the roaring fire he felt when with Axel. He leaned up and kissed him quickly on the cheek before pulling back, suddenly feeling kind of shy as he asked, “Take a shower with me?”

“Aw, my Roxy, how’d you know I couldn’t bear to be away from you for all those minutes?”

“Because, I know that feeling,” Roxas confessed very quietly as he felt his cheeks heat up. Axel had turned the real issue on himself while Roxas was feeling very vulnerable, and he didn’t want to leave Axel alone for a single second more than he had to - but what he didn’t expect was that his boyfriend did not want to be separated from him too. It was more than just about sex, he realized - though he would never get tired of seeing Axel naked and aroused under him, or above him, or anyway the redhead would have him - but here he wanted the physical reassurance too and Axel’s very presence was calming, healing, and solid. Roxas hoped beyond hope it would always be there - or at the very least that he would be the one to die first this time.

Ridding himself of the morbid thought, he grabbed Axel’s hand and pulled him along to the bathroom, starting the water and letting it heat up as he rapidly stripped out of his pajamas - stuffing his ratty old white shirt and plaid pants in a spare pillowcase he’d been using for a hamper ever since he’d had the last massive laundry day. Thinking about that day made Roxas smile as he stood in his boxers and looked over at Axel, who had unzipped his hoodie, but paused his stripping to appreciate Roxas’ body - taking him in like he’d never seen him in his tight boxer-briefs before. 

“What?” Roxas asked, biting his bottom lip, suddenly feeling very self conscious for reasons he couldn’t fully put a name to. 

Axel reached out and pulled him forward into a passionate kiss. The sound of the water running behind them, combined with the blissful force of their locked lips, caused Roxas to let out a moan as all the thoughts in his brain washed away, leaving him in this moment. With his boyfriend who was kissing him senseless in his bathroom, with the mirror slowly fogging for more reasons than one.

When Axel finally pulled back, Roxas reached forward and grabbed his hoodie, sliding the soft material off of his shoulders. The black fabric hit the ground like he was unwrapping a present, revealing Axel to be wearing his X-Men t-shirt under it. The sight of it made Roxas smile and he reached out to trace the ‘X’ in the logo with his finger, realizing he was tracing an “X” right over Axel’s heart. The thought sent a warm rush through him and a soft smile crossed his lips.

Axel smiled down at him, happily. “As much as I enjoy a good tease, Sugar Bean, we have places to be today. And we should try to be on time-”

“Just tell Xion we’ll be late because you have a very sexy appointment with a blond cinnabon - unless Xion doesn’t know exactly how long it takes you to cum?” The question fell from Roxas’ lips before he could think about it, even if it was meant to be teasing, and he was very much relieved when Axel let out a deep laugh in response.

“Oh, while I am sure that girl knows more about the extent and specifics of my sex life than anyone else in the entire world that I _haven’t_ slept with,” he stressed ‘haven’t’ and Roxas got the message loud and clear, “and I can imagine that she would be highly amused by the question, sweet cheeks. I don’t think she knows _that._ We don’t really share all _that_ much...”

_Which probably meant they shared a shitload more than Axel was saying out loud,_ Roxas mused. 

“There goes my plans for a threesome,” Roxas said with mock seriousness, not _really_ meaning a word, moving towards the water and testing it with his hand before looking back over at Axel who was grinning at him - his cheeks slightly red. _When did Axel start blushing?_

“I hate to tell you this, blondie - but I don’t share.”

“Not even for a one-night-no-strings-threesome?” Roxas said, teasing. _Maybe he shouldn’t press his luck, but considering all Axel has done as a rentboy-_

“You’re T-R-O-U-B-L-E,” Axel spelled out. 

“Admit it. You’d love to jump into bed with me and another-”

“Only if they’re your clone,” Axel interrupted. “Besides, and I can’t believe I am saying this, but I actually think my days of threesomes are behind me. Unless, that’s going to be a dealbreaker for you?”

In less than two steps Roxas crossed the space between them to stand right in front of Axel, whose green eyes were looking at him with uncertainty and barely masked jealousy. An odd sense of possession came over Roxas - suddenly even suggesting a threesome felt like a betrayal of sorts. It was disquieting and made his stomach sink. He reached up and cupped Axel’s cheek, running his thumb over the tattoo under his eye, wanting to take the shadows right out of Axel’s face. Roxas wasn’t exactly sure what had him so on edge at the moment: was it something in his past? Something that went down at the brothel? Something regarding losing Roxas? All three rolled into one? All Roxas knew was that he didn’t like Axel looking at him like that - especially not after his failed joke that clearly struck some kind of nerve.

Not that he expected Axel would ever admit that to him directly. At least not that moment.

Still Roxas wasn’t completely oblivious. “It’s not going to be a dealbreaker,” he said seriously, with sincerity, as he looked into Axel’s eyes. “You’re all mine, and I like that.”

Relief filled green eyes as Axel pressed his lips to Roxas’ cheek before sweeping behind him to pull him into a backwards hug. Axel’s arms suddenly wrapping around him from behind immediately reminded Roxas of his dream, but the feeling of Hayner’s more muscular hold wrapping him up was so different from Axel’s slender arms it wasn’t too difficult for Roxas to pull himself back to the present. 

“I like that too,” Axel said directly into his ear. “I’ve never had someone be all mine before.”

Roxas felt his knees go weak with that admission before he was pulled backwards, but it was only three steps before Axel tripped over the edge of the tub, falling into the water in a tangle of limbs as he hit the porcelain base with a surprised ‘oof’. Roxas was pulled down and landed on top of him, blocking some of the water from hitting Axel directly, but the redhead was still almost fully dressed. With rapid reflexes Roxas leaned over and turned off the tap before letting out a laugh. Behind him, Axel started laughing too as he gently pushed Roxas off and tried to stand back up. The sound of his throaty laugh went right to Roxas’ heart and sparked the heat inside him, despite his own wet boxer-briefs.

“Well, that’s one way to get a wet ass,” Roxas commented as he laughed, meaning his own but realizing they were both victims of the shower spray and water pooling in the basin.

With a cheeky grin Axel turned around in circles, like a dog trying to catch his tail, as he tried to see the aftermath of the puddle he’d fallen into on his pants. His antics made Roxas chuckle even more and he covered his mouth with his hand.

On the fourth or fifth turn, Axel turned to face Roxas with his hands on his hips. “Well,” he said gesturing towards his back, “I can’t see it. But I can feel it. How bad is it?”

Roxas laughed again at the deadpan humor. “Take them off?” he asked with a grin from behind his hand, still looking at the wet spots on Axel’s ass and thighs. “I should have a hairdryer around here somewhere.” He was suddenly very grateful he hadn’t gotten rid of it. He hadn’t used it since college, but It would work in lieu of a dryer - since they didn’t exactly have time to visit the laundromat. “I think under the sink.”

Undoing the button on the waist of his soggy pants, Axel flung open the cabinet door to look under the sink. Roxas enjoyed the show as the tall man leaned over, his wet ass on display in his dark jeans, before he pulled out a yellow hairdryer and held it up triumphantly before setting it by the sink.

“Sweet, quest complete!” Roxas congratulated with a smile, finally stepping out of the tub to kiss Axel - but all he could reach was his shoulder as the man stood back up and stripped off his pants. 

“I did!” Axel said as he held up his pants and put them on the counter. “I have to admit - when I thought we were going to get naked this was not what I had in mind.”

Roxas smiled. “Then we’ll just have to go to Plan B, won’t we?” he asked, slapping Axel lightly on the ass.

“Like I said,” Axel sassed with a smirk, “TROUBLE. Out of the briefs and into the shower with you, sweet cheeks. I have drying to tend to now.”

“Oh you just want the show,” Roxas teased as he restarted the water and stripped off the remaining fabric so he was stark naked. 

“Maybe.” Axel smiled, as he held the hairdryer aloft like a video game gun. “Now into the shower with you - trust me you don't want to feel the force of this, what with its powerful blow-back.”

“You wouldn’t!” Roxas mock-gasped.

Axel gave his best evil grin, which was more teasing than anything. “Get in, and you won’t have to find out.”

Roxas pulled back the shower curtain with a laugh as Axel fired up the hairdryer and started drying his pants. The sound was oddly _domestic_ and somehow mesmerizing, and Roxas found himself lulled as he washed his hair, thinking that he wouldn’t mind sharing a bathroom with Axel permanently. 

_Or a life,_ his brain supplied as he rinsed the suds out of his hair. He couldn’t help but smile at the thought.

* * *

“Why did you get four sea-salt ice cream pops again?” Roxas asked as he and Axel found a bench at the top of the clock tower. They were running about ten minutes late, but Axel had texted Xion and told her they were running fifteen behind so they would all get there around the same time.

“Two for me,” Axel replied, reaching into the box and opening grabbing one, “so I can start one now and have one later on with you guys.”

“How come you get the bonus ice cream?”

“Because, it doubles the chances I’m a winner.” Axel smiled at him. “AND! I’m starving and didn’t want to have to wait to eat.”

“Not a very nutritious lunch,” Roxas grumbled as his cheeks lit up.

“Pot, meet kettle,” Axel said. “I know for a fact you ate a whole cake for breakfast just a few weeks ago.”

“Hey! I was having a bad day,” Roxas defended. It had been the morning after the overnight at the store and there was no way he wanted a breakfast of salty eggs and toast after that. “I only managed four hours of sleep! I needed the sugar!”

“Excuses, excuses,” Axel tsked at him, but his eyes were dancing all the same as he took a bite out of his ice-cream pop. “Pulling a Moogle Farms cake out of the freezer and eating the entire thing in one sitting-”

“It was only the once,” Roxas said, feeling slightly embarrassed. “And you challenged me to finish it!”

“Yeah, but I only saw it over text when you sent me the picture of the final remaining quarter,” Axel said, sliding his arm around Roxas and pulling him into his side, “You’re a man with your own free will. But you’ll never convince me it was only the one time.”

“Yeah, yeah. Fine.” Roxas grumbled as he agreed, leaning into Axel’s chest and letting his head rest there. They were quiet for a moment, Axel eating his ice cream as his free hand came to card through Roxas’ hair. It was calming and there was a peace that settled over Roxas that he hadn’t felt in a long time, making him feel pleasantly warm. It was really nice.

“I’m here!” Xion’s voice sang over to them as she sat down on the bench next to Roxas like they were old friends. She wore a tight sleeveless black dress, one that hugged her curves and ended just below her knees, with red flats. “Sorry to keep you guys waiting.”

“Oh, please,” Axel said as Roxas detangled himself and sat up straight, “we were the ones running late.”

“Good to see you again, Roxas,” Xion said, ignoring Axel and smiling at him. “It’s still Roxas, right? Roxas Heart? Unless Axel has petitioned you to change your name to Cinnabon Frosting.” She gave him a sweet smile, and Roxas felt his stomach do a weird flip.

“That was a one time joke you were not to repeat,” Axel said, looking past Roxas and over at her, “and just because I changed my name, doesn’t mean Roxas is going to.”

“Not sure I’ve heard you use his real first name before. Always coming in hot with the nicknames,” she teased, chiding, before becoming more sincere, “things must be getting serious.” 

Roxas felt the fire inside him roar to life. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Axel nod, before wrapping his arm around Roxas’ shoulders. “As serious as a fire-attack."

“Oooh things are ultra serious,” she said, turning to Roxas, “he seriously won’t get rid of you now. Looking like you’re stuck with us.” Her voice was light and her laugh melodic and instead of rejecting the idea Roxas found he liked how she instantly made him feel like he belonged - like he was always going to be sitting there, right between the two of them. The last time he’d felt this welcomed into a group, Pence had introduced him to Hayner. The thought left a bittersweet taste behind, but it was nice to allow himself to feel that way again. 

“Says the perpetually single one,” Axel teased right back.

“Hey, I get all the action I want!” Xion replied. “And I can afford to be picky when it comes to permanent relationships because of it. So don’t even start-”

“Actually,” Axel interrupted, “that reminds me. That girl I was telling you about? The pretty blond that Roxas works with? Roxas told me she’s having her art gallery show thing this coming weekend.”

Roxas blinked. He had nearly forgotten about Axel being invited to that, but of course he would remember that.

“Good for her-” 

“She invited you,” Roxas cut in suddenly. He knew Axel planned on extending the invite but it felt natural to say something - and even ruder to sit there and not say anything at all.

“I know it’s harder for you to take Friday nights off, but I really think you should meet her.” Axel looked down her way. “It doesn’t have to be the whole night.”

“I’ll think about it,” Xion agreed, rubbing her knees a little. “I never thought I’d see the day you’d do a relationship before me.” She looked at Roxas. “Axel may not remember, since we were little kids, but he always said I would find someone before he did-”

“Axel?! Not remember something?” Roxas mock gasped, which had Xion smiling.

“Oh, I know. Like how he didn’t remember to bring a real lunch today - tempting me with sea-salt ice cream instead. He knows it goes right to my hips,” Xion said with a laugh. It could have been degrading but it was somehow endearing and every bit of the person Roxas was learning Xion to be.

“Hey, I did not forget. I bribed you with the goods! Since, even if you had that issue, which we both know you don’t, more on your hips is more to love. And besides - my first popsicle stick didn’t win, okay?” Axel said, holding the plain stick up triumphantly like he had anyway. “I am now obligated to try again.” He reached down for the now slightly soggy sea-salt ice cream box and handed out the remaining packages.

“Only you would think sea-salt ice cream is lunch,” Xion scolded with no real malice at all as she tore into the wrapper like she’d been starving in the desert for three hundred and fifty-eight days.

_Okay,_ maybe that was an exaggeration on Roxas’ part, but as he opened his own popsicle he couldn’t help but feel the corners of his lips turn up at her antics.

“Wrong! I have it on good authority Roxy here thinks it is too,” Axel said. “I know for a fact these little babies have been his lunch a time or three.” He waved his popsicle in the air and Roxas fully smiled, despite himself. Axel looked so _cute._

“So, as I was saying, when you two decided to play yenta fairy godmother matchmakers-”

“Hey I resent that - at least let me be, I don’t know, Cupid or something.”

“Cupid isn’t a matchmaker!” Roxas said playfully, swaying to knock their shoulders together.

“He is now!” Axel declared, swinging his arm around Roxas as if that somehow proved his point.

“Anyhow - if you two are done debating about mythical greek gods-”

_“Who’s debating?”_ Roxas heard Axel mutter under his breath and he smiled.

Xion narrowed her eyes briefly before she took a tentative lick of her ice cream to clean up the melty bits. “Anyways! I finally broke up with my longest relationship to date not even a week ago-”

“Oh I’m sorry to hear that,” Roxas started in, suddenly feeling kind of guilty about all the joking, but to his bewilderment she just smiled at him.

“Don’t be,” she said, “I highly doubt he cares since it was only with my Xbox - or now officially my EX-Box.”

“Oh you finally got rid of that old thing?” Axel asked, sounding both interested and like it was a breakup that was long overdue.

“Hey! It worked just fine! Well, that is until it didn’t. But honestly, it was nothing personal. It was just time for a Switch.” She glanced meaningfully over at Roxas who stifled a chuckle behind his hand at the double entendre.

“You don’t need to be filling my innocent boyfriend’s head with talks of switches - he has enough ideas on his own.”

“Hey! Who are you calling innocent?” Roxas challenged crossing his arms.

Axel laughed. “Oh, you think you’re not, huh?”

Roxas’ cheeks flushed under his gaze. _I guess Axel would know,_ he thought as he bit into his own ice cream pop. He grinned with the familiar sweet and salty flavor hit his tongue. 

“I’m telling you,” Axel said, looking at Xion now, “you, me and Roxas are the only ones who like this stuff.” He gestured to his own popsicle in his hand.

“It's salty… but sweet. What’s not to like?” Roxas offered his boyfriend, teasing him back for the innocent comment. 

“Oh god, you two really are perfect for each other,” Xion said, smiling.

“Did you have doubts?” Axel asked with a grin.

“Only every _other_ day,” she shot back, teasing her friend good-naturedly. 

“Don’t listen to her,” Axel said, “I know where she keeps all the keys to her client books.”

“Are you threatening me?” Xion asked, though Roxas noticed that Xion couldn’t even ask the question with a straight face. “I can do the same right back. Remember that time we played strip poker-”

“Okay! That’s enough!” Axel said quickly as Roxas’ eyebrows shot up.

“Remind me to tell you that story later, _Cinnabon,”_ Xion said with a grin.

“You will not,” Axel said. “Unless you want me to tell him about the duck you smuggled in that one time-”

“Okay! We’re even,” Xion agreed before turning to Roxas. “I can’t believe you aren’t asking for these stories right now.”

Roxas shook his head. “To be honest, I’m just listening. I’m not worried - I’ll get the whole story out of him later.”

“Where did you find him again?” Xion asked, turning to Axel. “He’s totally one of us.”

“I know,” Axel said, approvingly. “And you know exactly where I found him. And if you would listen to me, you could find your woman-”

“Fine, I’ll do my best to make it to the show,” Xion agreed, her ice cream now half gone. “Where is it again? And when?”

Roxas and Axel wasted no time filling her in on the details.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a lot this chapter that pulled at my heart strings, plus I loved writing Roxas and Axel being all domestic and adorable. ❤️🔥 I hope you all enjoyed it too! 
> 
> Thank you all so much for your Subscriptions, Comments and Kudos! I love hearing all the great feedback. I would send you all Moogle Farms frozen cakes if I could. ❤️🎂❤️
> 
> For more join me on [tumblr](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/)


	15. extr-Axel-verted

**Chapter 15 - extr-Axel-verted**

Naminé’s gallery showing took place on a rainy night. Roxas had been expecting the gallery to be in the art hall and was surprised to find it wasn't there. So he and Axel ended up getting caught in a torrential downpour walking between the college buildings trying to find the right one. Even with the aid of his umbrella, which admittedly did little to cover them both, Roxas was still dripping from the storm when they both finally stepped inside the main exhibition hall, Axel on his heels and just as drenched. But at least Axel had kept him laughing the entire way, despite his umbrella having snapped in the wind soaking them both even more.

“Do you see her?” Axel asked as they walked in the entrance. Roxas struggled to fold up the partially broken umbrella before shaking out the water droplets away from them both and setting it along the wall next to a few others that were drying. Roxas would love to just toss it in the rubbish bin - it had been cheaply made and buckled under the wind pressure much quicker than he thought it would - but there was still a chance they'd need it later.

“Yeah,” Roxas replied, shaking his shirt and trying to squeeze out the rain. “She’s over there by that painting that looks like a flower shop threw up.”

“Aw, Roxy,” Axel intoned, wrapping his arms around him from behind. Roxas could feel the wetness of his boyfriend's shirt through his own on his back, but it didn’t bother him as much as he thought it might. “What did the flowers ever do to you?”

“Nothing!” Roxas protested, “it’s just that-”

“Hey, you guys made it,” a voice called over to them. Without letting go, Axel turned them both around to see Riku and Sora standing beside them. The pair looked completely dry.

“Hey. Riku, right?” Axel asked before Roxas could say anything, stepping to the side to say hello. “From Limit Break.” Roxas was a little surprised he remembered, but then Axel’s memory was truly impressive at times - especially for names and faces. _And cocks_ , his brain supplied, but he didn’t let the thought linger. _They were boyfriends now,_ he reminded himself, and that meant there was no need for Axel to remember any cock but his own anymore _._

The thought made him feel a little lighter.

“Yeah,” Riku said with a small smile, “remind me your name again?”

“I’m Axel.”

“I finally meet the infamous Axel!” Sora’s voice broke over the redhead’s. “I’ve heard so much about you!”

_“You have?”_ Roxas couldn’t help but blurt out.

“Well, I guess not from _you,”_ Sora sang out before turning to the tall redhead. “Roxas is pretty tight-lipped on the love-of-his-life.” Roxas suddenly felt the urge to crawl into a hole and disappear. _Where can I find an invisibility potion?_ he thought to himself as Sora continued. “But Naminé said nice things about you the other day-”

"Sora," Riku suddenly cut in, putting a hand on Sora's hip and dragging the energetic boy against him before turning back to the group. “This is my boyfriend, Sora. He works with Roxas - as you might be able to tell.”

“Yeah,” Axel replied, “Roxas might have mentioned that. Good to meet you, Sora.”

“Same! I’m so excited to meet you. I mean, Roxas is amazing, so you must be amazing! And Naminé is going to be so glad you both made it and are here! Unless you’ve already seen her and she already is. Though your shirt is all wet - you must have just got here. Did you get caught in the storm?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty nasty out there-”

“Hey, you guys made it!” Naminé bounded over to them, a large grin on her face, and Roxas felt relief wash through him. He didn’t know exactly why Sora was getting under his skin so much right at that moment but he was happy for the distraction. She very much looked the part of an artist, at home amongst the art, wearing a satin green dress with a wide skirt that went to her knees and had a colorful design made out of splattered paint on it, which she likely did herself. Roxas had never seen anything like it before. “Thank you for coming!”

“Of course.” Roxas smiled. “You remember Axel?” 

“For sure,” she said, smiling back as she addressed them. “Thank you both for coming. It’s good to see you again.”

“You too,” Axel said. “How’s the artist of the hour?”

“It’s actually been a really good show,” Naminé replied happily. “Got some good feedback, and met some new people. Speaking of which..." Her voice trailed off before she lowered it slightly. "Any chance your friend could make it?”

“We invited her,” Axel admitted with a knowing grin. “She said she would try.”

“Sounds good!” Naminé’s cheeks flushed and she quickly changed the subject. “I should really show you what I created for fire." She smiled more sincerely, though her blush remained. "Though you both look like you got entered into a wet t-shirt contest, so maybe I should show you water…”

“Wet t-shirt contest!” Sora jumped in with a giggle. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

Roxas tried not to let out a groan as Sora and Riku made a move to follow Naminé.

“I think you look really good in anything, Sweet Cheeks,” Axel whispered into his ear. “Or nothing. Later on we’ll take these off and get a whole different kind of _wet.”_

Roxas felt his cheeks flame and he hoped no one else noticed, but the rest of the group had already started walking, as Naminé led the group across the main floor with Sora and Riku trailing closely behind her. Axel began to follow before turning back to Roxas and holding out his hand.

“How about it? We go and see what my fiery beauty inspired?”

Roxas laughed. “Your fiery beauty is too blinding to inspire anything,” he teased.

“Aw, I’m fiery and I shine brightly too! It’s a day for all the compliments,” Axel said excitedly as he held continued to hold out his hand, palm up. Roxas reached out and laced their fingers together. His hand felt secure there and the touch evoked a deep feeling of ‘rightness’ inside him as Axel hurried them along to catch up with the group. Roxas had to walk double speed to keep up with Axel’s long strides, but he found he didn’t mind very much, though he was a little out of breath when they finally caught up with everyone else.

“The more I worked with the four elements idea, the more I liked it. They're all essential to life, but also keep things in balance. It was a fun concept to play with in the end.” Roxas heard Naminé say as she led them towards her display. Four pieces were laid out in a diamond shape just off center of the hall. “I, uh, started with the Earth element - and built things from there. Fire was the last.” She looked pointedly right at Axel as she spoke the last bit. “But they all relate to each other, too.” It was there that she paused stepping aside, so her pieces came into clear view.

It was floating stones that caught Roxas’ attention first. It was so unexpected that he had to do a double take to take it all in. The piece looked like multiple boulders were floating against gravity, lifting off from a small pyramid of pebbles on the ground. The rocks on the ground were grey, resembling concrete, but as he followed the rocks higher into the air, Roxas found more and more earth tones were used, making them look like expensive granite or something, until there wasn't any grey at all. It was impressive, the stones sitting suspended in the air. Roxas wondered how Naminé had achieved it. He stared at it a moment before blinking really hard. But when he opened his eyes it was still there. _Floating rocks_ —

“How did you create the illusion?” Riku asked, as if reading Roxas’ mind.

“Do you like it?” Naminé asked in response, almost shyly. “It was a trick to get the illusion just right - the shadows had to make everything look heavy. Earthy, you know?” she said before her eyes shifted to the right of their group. Roxas followed her gaze. 

“Champagne?” A man in a tuxedo offered them. He looked very formal and carried himself with a certain air of importance. He had an eyepatch covering his left eye that gave him mysterious and eclectic vibes - and a very small white pirate-style skull clearly hand drawn with a white marker on the top left of the fabric had Roxas wondering if he wore it for real or aesthetic purposes.

“Ah thanks, Xigbar!” Naminé exclaimed happily as she reached for a glass before gesturing around at their little group. “These are my friends - Sora and his boyfriend, Riku, and Roxas and Axel”—she looked like she wanted to say more about them, but she continued on, turning back to Sora—”in fact, after my first topic fell through, it was because of Sora that I ended up with the idea to capture the elements.”

“Good to meet you all,” Xigbar said as he lowered the tray of drinks in the middle of their circle, “especially if you have such a powerful effect on Naminé here.” 

Roxas privately thought that was a little bit of an odd comment as they all reached to take a glass, lightening the tray considerably. Roxas took a sip, the sweet and slightly tangy bubbles hitting his nose immediately. He wiggled it to clear out the fuzziness, but not before he noticed how Axel smiled at him affectionately.

“Xigbar is a department head here,” Naminé explained as she took a small sip of her own drink. “He’s one of the ones who nominated my work for this in the first place.”

“That’s awesome!” Sora exclaimed. “And well deserved. All your work I’ve seen has been amazing.”

Naminé’s cheeks looked a little flushed at Sora’s words. Roxas gulped down some more of his champagne, the magnitude of the whole event hitting him suddenly. Far from what he’d expected, this didn’t appear to be just some small student showcase but rather much more important a show.

“Well, welcome to the program, as they say,” Xigbar said. “I’ll leave you all to it.”

"You know Jars of Flame was what got Naminé thinking about the elements,” Sora chatted excitedly, and Xigbar walked away. “We were talking about the idea at work. You know how they all represent an element - but they’re missing fire. Despite their name. Ironic, huh?” Sora laughed and Roxas blinked, putting the pieces together in his head.

The three members of Jars of Flame, Gaia, Prism, and Vortex, did represent Earth, Water and Air - it was kind of their thing, right down to their names. There were many fan theories online that broke down their names and connection to the elements, as well as many lyrics in their songs that fed into that idea. Lots of fans discussed their decision to keep fire in the name of their band and did not have a fourth member. Some fans insisted that the band had had a fourth member at a point in time who left before they made it big, while other fans speculated that they hadn't named one of themselves after fire due to the undeniable burn scars that covered Vortex's body. Personally Roxas had always thought that later theory made the most sense, after all who wanted their name to remind them of the thing that hurt them most?

“So anyways, we were talking through new ideas one day when the floor was slow and well… Wow!” Sora interrupted himself as the next piece came into view. “Is this one water? I love it! It looks like a crown! I love crowns. I totally see a crown. Oh my god! Was I your muse?”

Naminé let out a giggle as her cheeks flushed. “Sure, but my actual muse on this one was female.”

Taking a large sip of his champagne, Roxas looked down at the shortest of the sculptures. The first thing he noticed was the shine, it was made out of iridescent blue metal that reflected light back at him. When he was able to get past that, he started to see the crown shape Sora had mentioned. The piece looked like a large splash, a crater in the center surrounded by a circle of jagged yet flowing crests of metal. The piece sat fairly low to the ground. Standing next to it, Roxas felt like a giant. He wondered if that was how Axel felt all the time as he moved to take his boyfriend’s hand and give it a squeeze before dropping it again.

Naminé gave Roxas a smile, clearly a little overwhelmed, before walking over to Sora. He and Axel moved to follow as she started to talk about her design. “I wanted to portray what a drop of water looks like falling into the ocean,” she explained, “so I had the droplets break apart and propel the water back up.”

“This is all very impressive, Naminé,” Riku praised as he walked past the water sculpture to take in the sharp vortex tornado Roxas thought must be her tribute to air. While easily recognizable as the intended element of all three pieces he’d taken in so far, he felt this one was the most crafty looking. _I must not understand modern art,_ he chastised himself but even with that thought he still found the display impressive - the spiral column looked almost graceful as it touched down to the ground.

“It’s amazing how each piece looks so much like their element,” Roxas mused out loud.

“Yeah, the tornado looks so insane!” Sora giggled. “How did you manage to make it look like that?”

Naminé smiled. “That’s part of the balance. Make it look like boulders are lifting off earth and have air coming down to touch the ground.” She reached out and put her hand on the edge of the tornado, before quickly snatching her hand back. “Course, I probably shouldn’t touch them now,” she said, with a half smile on her face like she'd been caught out on something for touching her own art piece. “It’s just difficult after months of work to let them just be.”

“An artist’s work is never done?” Roxas asked, with a small smile. It was the kind of question Hayner would have asked. _Hell, it was the kind of philosophy Hayne believed in._

“Something like that,” Naminé answered with a smile and a small laugh.

“You have a real talent for sculpture here, Naminé,” Axel praised with a smile. He raised his glass in her direction in salute.

“Oh. OH! Thank you for saying so. Wait until you see fire!” she exclaimed, grabbing his arm and pulling him over to the last of the four pieces. Roxas let out a startled laugh, but smiled when he saw the look on Naminé’s face. She looked extremely proud - her cheeks slightly red and her eyes lit up with something Roxas had never seen from her before. It was the way a young child would look at a parent.

Or maybe the way an artist would look at their muse, he thought as he took in the fire sculpture. It was shaped like a perfect teardrop, pointed at the top with calm, flowing curves down leading into a coiled sphere at the bottom. Anything after the shape was where its relation to water ended. The color was a chaotic mix of fiery red and warm orange hues that fought across the surface, rising up and up towards the sky. The metal surface wasn’t shiny like the water piece, so instead of reflecting light, the dull surface glowed, warm and inviting, under the lights in the venue. Roxas wanted to reach out and touch it, and with the sudden compulsion he couldn't stop himself as he did. The whole piece looked hot to the touch, but when Roxas laid his hand against it, caressing it, he felt the cold grip of metal. He quickly withdrew his hand.

“This piece,” Naminé informed Axel, “was a real problem-child. Well it was until the day you came in to see Roxas.

“So, I really was your muse.”

Naminé nodded. “You were. Fire has always been bright and chaotic to me and I couldn’t find a way to contrast that with water. But then you showed up. Your hair, your demeanor, your”—she bit her lip, clearly struggling to put something into words—“You have so much fire, yet I saw depth and calm as well.” Her eyes looked hopeful as they met Axel’s.

“You hear that, sweet cheeks? I’m officially a muse!” Axel laughed, throwing his arm over Roxas’ shoulders, and downing the last of his drink in celebration. Roxas found himself grinning, his chest tightening under Axel's arm as fire stirred inside him.

“Never mind that you’re his muse all the time,” Naminé said with a cheeky grin and Roxas felt his whole face light up. He took a sip of his champagne, but realized that the glass was empty.

“What- how do you mean?” 

“She means I inspire you, baby-cakes! I always knew this day would come! I really am a muse,” he muttered before leaning down to kiss Roxas’, looking a bit dazed by the prospect still.

Roxas smiled as he pulled back from the kiss and gripped Axel’s hand, watching as the group continued to walk around the sculptures for a bit. He heard Sora asking more questions, and sharing stories, and Axel sneaking side glances back at the fire sculpture every couple of seconds. It was kind of adorable of him really. Roxas liked how much he liked it - and he liked that he seemed to be getting on with his coworkers just fine as well. Like they were old friends or something - much like how it had felt when he’d met Xion.

_Speaking of which_ —

“Did you hear from Xion?” he asked Axel, pulling him aside.

“No, but that doesn’t mean anything,” Axel said, “she could be on her way right now.”

“Alright,” Roxas said, pressing himself up on his tip-toes to kiss his boyfriend’s cheek. He missed and got his jawline instead. 

“The show goes till eleven - she’ll likely make it before then,” Axel said, confidently, opening his mouth to say something more.

But whatever else his boyfriend was going to say was drowned out by Sora, who’d walked back over with Naminé and Riku. “So where’s this guy who stole your original idea? Not that you needed that original idea. Look at how incredible these turned out! I love them! Especially the water one! But they’re all so good it’s hard to pick a favorite.”

“Oh,”—Naminé’s cheeks blushed slightly—“I think he’s got the wall over that way.” She gestured back towards a well lit corner. “I didn’t really see him when I was setting up my pieces and I’ve been here most of the night.”

“Oh!” Sora exclaimed, “I was gonna keep true to my word to fight him to the death, but I think you already won. I'm so impressed with all your amazing work!”

“It is incredible, Naminé,” Riku agreed. 

“I’m pretty happy with it,” Naminé replied, humble as ever. “I really liked the idea once I got into it. All things in balance.”

_Keeping things in balance,_ the thought rolled through Roxas’ mind as he let out a long sigh. _Hayner would have liked Naminé. And her work._ The first was not a new thought - he’d had it before when he’d first started working with the girl - but somehow it felt more profound right in that moment.

“Hey, you alright?” 

Axel’s voice caused him to look up. “For sure,” he replied, putting on a smile, “sorry. Just thinking.”

“What about?” Axel asked, his eyes concerned. “You looked so serious all of sudden.”

“Just a thought about how much Hay would have enjoyed this,” he said, squeezing his boyfriend’s hand. “But it’s okay.” Roxas felt like the weight that had been sitting in the middle of his chest lightened slightly as the words tumbled out. He knew he was being kind of a downer, but he couldn’t stop the emotions anyway. It was rare he brought up Hayner, but even so it felt good to get it off his chest.

Axel just squeezed his hand back in response. The silent support gave way to a bright burning in his chest, and he remembered to breathe again.

“Do you want to look around a little more?” Axel asked after a while. Roxas blinked and looked around, realizing Axel had pulled him off to the side, giving him a chance to calm back down. The concern set an explosion of gratefulness inside him. “Or say goodbye and head home?”

_Home. What exactly did Axel mean by that?_ Roxas had had yet to spend the night at Axel’s place - though he’d spent quite a lot of time there during the day and that never stopped them from conquering all things sexual - but to hear home fall from Axel’s lips so naturally filled Roxas with a warm buzz that felt electrically charged.

_Doesn’t matter - anywhere is home with Axel._ The thought flew through his mind before he could contemplate it. To his own surprise he wrapped his arms around Axel and snuggled into him, holding him almost desperately, but Axel didn’t seem to mind. On the contrary, he hugged back, steadying Roxas even more.

“Let’s get you some water, yeah?” Axel said, pulling back and leading him towards the bar in the back corner of the room. It was clear it had been set up for this event and there was a short line in front of it. Axel maneuvered them over and into the in line, but not before a voice called behind them.

“Roxas?”

Roxas turned around and came face-to-face with a familiar spiky black-haired man.

“I thought that was you!” Zack said excitedly, “Good to see you, man.”

“Yeah, hi, Zack,” Roxas said as he did his best to put on a smile, “Didn’t know you were into art.” _Well, that was clumsy_ \- Roxas kicked himself even as Zack smiled back.

“Well my”—Zack paused briefly as if looking for the right word—“boyfriend is showcasing his work here. It kind of comes with the territory.”

_Zack had never mentioned a boyfriend before._ Pushing the thought to the back of his mind, he smiled best he could. “That’s cool. What did he do?”

“Oh, this really cool photography project of castles,” Zack said with a grin, “I even convinced him to photoshop a dragon into the background of one.”

Something about that project pulled at the back of Roxas’ mind but he couldn’t remember why. He opened his mouth to say something, but was saved by Axel wrapping his arm around his waist and handing him a water bottle. “Hey, baby cakes, got you a water. Who’s your friend?”

“This is Zack - he does deliveries for the store. Zack, this is Axel - my boyfriend.” Grateful for something to hold onto, Roxas wasted no time cracking open the expensive looking water bottle. 

“Nice to meet you, Zack,” Axel said, holding out his hand with a smile.

“Likewise,” Zack replied, slipping his hand into Axel’s to shake. It was a small contact but Roxas had to shove down the jealousy that threatened to rise in his throat. Axel was _his-_

“So what brings you guys here?”

“One of my coworkers," Roxas paused realizing something. "Have you ever met Naminé?” he asked. Zack shook his head. “Well, she’s one of the people I work with at the store - she did those sculptures over there.” He gestured back towards the diamond-shaped element-sculpture display in the middle of the floor.

“Oh - I saw those earlier!” Zack said, “I thought the floating stone one was seriously impressive.”

Roxas nodded, he’d felt the same.

“There you are.” A blond man came up beside Zack, looking like he wanted to approach closely but kept a step back when he saw that Zack was talking to Roxas and Axel. The move reminded Roxas a little of how he and Hayner would sometimes act in business situations, and his heart flew out to the couple. 

“Ha, yeah,” Zack said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Ran into a co-worker and his boyfriend. This is Roxas and - excuse me, I forgot your name.”

Axel blinked, before turning to the new man. “It’s Axel,” he said holding out his hand, which the other man looked at for a second before lightly shaking it. 

“Nice to meet you both,” the man said, “I’m Cloud.”

“Zack tells us you do photography,” Axel stated. At the mention of photography Cloud’s whole face lit up, as Sora and Riku approached the group.

“Zack!” Sora cried, his voice excited. Roxas saw Cloud sway slightly as if intimidated by the loud sound. “What are you doing here? I mean it’s good to see you, of course. Here you are! And who’s this?” he gestured towards Cloud, who looked like he wished he wasn’t standing there. “He’s handsome!” 

Roxas watched Riku take a step closer to Sora as Zack smiled at Sora. “Good to see you too, Sora. And you must be Riku?” He nodded towards the silver haired man. “Sora has told me lots about you. I think you’re his favorite person in the universe.” Zack let out a small laugh, and Riku brightened a little.

“Hopefully he’s only told you good things,” Riku replied. “It’s good to meet you.”

“Zack’s our delivery guy extraordinaire,” Sora praised. “I don’t know his hottie friend though.”

“This is-”

“I’m Cloud,” Cloud announced, cutting Zack off. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Sora smiled. “Are you Zack’s man then?”

“Sora!” Zack looked prepared to lecture Sora, though his grin never faltered. It was the kind of humor Roxas knew the man to have.

“What? I’m only asking!” Sora said as he smiled at them all. 

“Yes, Zack is mine,” Cloud confirmed, his eyes softening as he looked over at Zack, who smiled softly back. They both looked so lovestruck and Roxas couldn’t help but smile as he took a sip of water.

"What are you doing here? Not that I'm not happy to see you! Have you seen Naminé yet? Wait, have you met Naminé?" 

Suddenly, Roxas realized where the conversation was heading. He really wasn't sure he wanted to be around when Sora found out Cloud had been the one who 'stole' Naminé’s project idea. _Would Sora actually fight Cloud?_

“Well it was good to see you, Zack,” Roxas quickly spoke up. "We were about to head out - but I’m glad we caught you before we left.” He gestured to Axel, who grabbed his outstretched hand.

“You guys are leaving?” Sora asked, straight to the point. 

“Don’t worry - we’re going to say goodbye to Naminé before we head out.” 

“Alright then. Well, have a good night,” Sora smiled at them knowingly as they said their goodbyes, and Roxas and Axel moved back to find Naminé.

But she was nowhere to be found. 

"C'mon," Roxas said after a while of searching with no results. "I think Sora expects us to be looking for a place to hook up."

Axel smiled down at him, a hint of danger in his eyes. "Wait. You mean that’s not the plan?" he said with a laugh as they walked hand and hand out the door into the fresh night air. It was a little damp still - the pavement under their feet still wet - but at least the rain had stopped.

They hadn't taken three steps however when a hooded figure, not watching where they were going, bumped into them. Roxas nearly slipped as Axel yanked him back up to his feet while also catching the figure in front of them with his arm.

_“Xion?”_ Axel asked as he puled the hood back, revealing a distressed Xion who looked like she had been crying. Her eyes were puffy and one looked slightly purple under the street lights.

“Hi,” she said weakly, “I made it.”

“Don’t even give me that shit! I may not be a genius but I’m really good at reading people. Especially you! Don’t think I don’t see that eye darkening as we speak. What happened?” Axel’s voice was stern as steel, but Roxas could clearly hear the concern behind it.

“It’s nothing I can’t handle. Just an unruly client who didn’t want to give up their Friday night spot.” 

“Oh Xion,” Axel said with a heavy sigh, “let me kick their ass. Do the lawyers know about this?”

“Not yet.”

“You need to tell the lawyers or I will! I swear the asshole can burn in hell. Fuck! Xion, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with a black eye before, and did they"—Axel gently lifted her chin up toward him—"scrape your cheek?!" 

“Yeah, and my arm. I put some antiseptic on it before coming over here.” Xion directed her gaze towards the ground. “I know you wanted me to be here tonight-“

“Don’t even worry about it,” Axel reassured quickly, moving from Roxas to her side. Roxas took a step closer, following behind him, concerned for them both. “You’re way more important. I can’t believe you didn’t call me-“

“So you could do what exactly?”

“Shit, Xion! I don’t know. I could have done something!”

“It’s over. The report is with the police and the lawyers will know tomorrow.” She looked up at him. “In the morning.”

“Promise?” Axel’s voice was as hard as Roxas had ever heard it, but also very concerned. “First thing?”

“Yes.” Xion’s voice sounded solid, even as she swayed slightly on her feet.

“Good, or I’ll go after the bastard myself,” Axel vowed, steel in the voice. Even Roxas couldn’t help but feel a little intimidated.

“-have good night, Marluxia!” Naminé’s voice called from behind them as a door opened, flooding the streets with more light as Naminé emerged with another guy beside her - he had long pink hair and an impeccably tailored navy blue suit on. It looked a bit out of place with the Minnie Mouse backpack on his back. Roxas couldn’t tell what they were talking about, he could only catch a few words of conversation as they walked from the main door.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to-” the pink haired man was saying as he looked into the street, “my car is here.”

“Alright,” Naminé said, nodding even as her eyes locked on Roxas. She said something Roxas couldn’t hear to the other guy before coming over towards him. 

“Hey,” she said cautiously, taking in the scene before her. “I thought you guys left,” she mumbled, her eyes darting back and forth between Roxas and Axel questioningly before landing on Xion. Roxas noticed her eyes lingered for a long, appreciative, yet concerned moment before her gaze zeroed in on Xion’s puffy eye. Not moving her gaze she continued talking. “At least, that’s what Sora said. Is, I mean, is everything okay?” 

“We’re-“ Roxas began but he didn’t get to start his sentence really before Xion cut in. 

“I’m fine. Things are fine. I mean we’re fine. Really.” She said it, but Roxas thought it sounded like she was trying to convince herself it was true. 

“If you don’t mind my saying so,” Naminé said cautiously as she continued to eye Xion, “you don’t look all that fine.”

Xion laughed a little nervously. “Maybe not, but I will be.” 

“Oh?” Axel asked seriously. “So you will tell the lawyers?”

“I already told you that I would and I was already planning on it anyways,” Xion confirmed pushing back her hair. “I can take care of myself.”

“I know,” Axel said, “but I can’t replace you.”

“I am one of a kind,” Xion confirmed with a soft smile. 

Roxas stifled a laugh, _Xion really was a badass_.

“Speaking of-” Axel said with a grin, “this is Naminé. You know, the one I wanted you to meet?”

“Nice to meet you Naminé,” Xion greeted. “I hope you’ll excuse my-”

“You know,” Naminé interrupted, “I was stepping out to get a coffee, but you look like you could use the caffeine even more than me. Would you mind if I bought you a cup?”

“That,” Xion said as she glanced up at Axel who smiled down at her with a grin. “You know, that would be great.”

“Awesome! I know this little cafe around the corner that should still be open…”

Roxas watched as the girls walked off before beaming up at Axel.

“Am I good, or am I good?” the redhead asked, wrapping his arm around Roxas’ shoulders.

“So good.” Roxas smiled. “A regular yenta.”

Axel’s laugh rang in his ears, filling him with warmth.

“Do you think we should follow them?”

“A part of me wants to, but then I am torn because despite what it may look like I do know Xion is a big girl and she can look out for herself. She did it for years without me. But I wish I could do more, you know? I am going to be at that brothel tomorrow when she meets with the lawyers,” Axel said resolutely. “Even if she doesn’t want me there. I will be anyway.”

Roxas raised his eyebrow at his boyfriend in both concern and question.

“You didn’t think I was just going to let that go, did you? She’s my best and oldest friend, and I will be there for her tomorrow. But tonight,” Axel grinned his eyes bright with mischief. “But for the rest of tonight l am all yours.”

“Just tonight?”

“And every night you’ll have me,” Axel said seriously, and Roxas felt the fire in his belly lick up his sides. 

“Want to go home?” he asked, “I kinda want to see how you look bent over the arm of the couch with my cock inside you.”

“That can definitely be arranged, Cinna-sticks.” Axel grinned.

“I was hoping you would say that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for attending Naminé's gallery showing!  
> I consider this chapter an achievement unlocked of this fic and Axel is the best fire muse. 🔥 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are a work of art - thank you for each and every one of them! 🎨🧡
> 
> For more, join me on [tumblr](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/)


	16. Rox my world

**Chapter 16 - Rox my world**

After a night of screwing Axel long and deep into his couch, Roxas had fallen asleep in Axel's arms, exhausted and sated. Hours later he woke up alone to a cup of coffee that had long gone cold and a note:

> _Cinnabon ~_
> 
> _Going to meet with Xion and the lawyers. You looked so cute sleeping I didn’t have the heart to wake you._
> 
> _xo_

The xo was on a slant, written to cover the page, as if it was fighting to look like both an afterthought and the first thought at the same time, and it had made Roxas smile most of all.

True to Axel’s word, Roxas had received a couple of texts from his boyfriend by the time that he’d finally showered and headed into work, but his boyfriend had yet to mention anything about Xion, her meeting with the lawyers or what he was starting to think of as her and Naminé’s first date. 

To help distract himself from missing the redhead and wondering about Xion, instead of heading directly out on the floor after he clocked in, he checked his work email inbox. He didn’t check it often so it was no surprise to see he had several hundred unread emails that had piled up. Mechanically deleting most of them without reading, Roxas wondered if Naminé would be in later tonight for the closing shift. He hated to admit how curious he was about how the rest of her night with Xion went, but he was dying to know if they’d hit it off as well as Axel thought they would have. 

_I’m no better than Sora,_ Roxas thought as he continued to swipe through emails. He did so absentmindedly until one from Demyx made him stop.

His finger hovered, hesitating slightly, before he clicked it open.

> _Dear Roxas,_
> 
> _We have reviewed your application for the Stock Manager position and are interested in discussing your qualifications further._

_Well, there’s a shock,_ Roxas thought, trying not to read it sarcastically but failing. He read on.

> _We would like to interview you to_ _discuss the job requirements and learn more about you._
> 
> _The interview will be conducted with Larxene Savage, Regional Manager_ . _Come prepared to ask any questions you may have about our hiring process and the position._
> 
> _Please click the link below to select a day and time. We look forward to meeting with you._
> 
> _Regards,_
> 
> _Demyx Daigo_
> 
> _Store Manager_
> 
> _District 13_
> 
> _Store Number 912_

A link sat below the store number. Roxas stared at the email for several seconds, barely processing the words. The letters looked like swirling black on the screen for a solid minute before Roxas pulled himself together and reread the letter again from start to finish. 

_An interview._ Roxas blew out a long sigh. He knew that he was likely to get an interview, and with fucking Larxene no less, but the reality of it staring him in the face sank in so much more deeply. He didn’t think Demyx knew the entirety of the history between Larxene and Axel, _hell_ Axel had even admitted that he hadn’t shared every detail with his roommate, but still Demyx did know she was the _last_ person Roxas wanted to interview with. He didn’t even want to see her and Demyx had started deliberately scheduling them apart when he could. So far the avoidance hadn’t been too bad, but Roxas wondered if he would handle it should he ever get the chance to confront her. He doubted he could be as civil as Axel was. 

_Demyx probably didn't have another choice,_ a voice at the back of Roxas’ mind chimed in, reminding Roxas of what it was like to work for _other people,_ not running his own business and being his own boss _._ He felt overwhelmed suddenly, like he was trapped in a losing battle, despite the fact that this could still prove to be a good thing for him. 

_But what about KeyChat?_ The thought floated up in the back of his mind, and he did his best to ignore it. Still the thought was stubborn and persistent and clamored to hold on as it played on repeat in his mind like a broken record. _KeyChat. KeyChat? KeyChat!_

“Hey Roxas!” Sora’s voice brought him out of his reverie, “I hear you’re the key-holder and I need to go on my break!”

“Huh?”

“Ah, yeah,” Sora said, scratching the back of his neck. “Larxene said you were to come out on the floor to break me for lunch, so you’ll be acting key-holder.” Sora held up the keyring to the registers in his hand.

“Oh,” Roxas said, shutting his email on the tablet screen. “I haven’t even seen her yet”— _just add it to the pile of things today—_ “but yeah, go on, have a good break. I’ll head out to the floor.”

“Thanks!” Sora’s cheery voice made Roxas feel a little lighter as Sora walked over to clock out. “Did you see the new Jars of Flame sweatshirt we got in? The grey one?”

Roxas nodded. “Yeah, I put it out the other day. The one with the guitar on fire? I thought it was a cool design.”

“Of course you’ve seen it,” Sora said, walking back over towards Roxas and moving them both towards the floor. “I bought their old T-shirt design, but now I’m wondering if I should have just waited. I can’t wear both to the concert. Though, with my discount, the price isn’t too bad. I should just buy it.”

“Well, it’s not their classic design,” Roxas said thoughtfully, “but it is really nice. And soft too.”

“Yeah!” Sora agreed, “They released a new single with a slightly different sound - apparently that’s what that design is from. Rumor has it that’s the new album cover, but I have my doubts. But it is literally the most epic single ever and I _really_ hope they do more stuff like it. Their new album is due out in less than a month now. And since they’re touring maybe we’ll hear a sneak peak of it live next week!” He squealed. “Though probably not. They never release their new stuff earlier than slated.”

“I haven’t heard the new song yet-”

 _“What?!”_ Sora’s eyes widened. “Okay, I am off on my break but as soon as I get some food I’ll send you the link. It’s literally a masterpiece.”

With a sales pitch like that, Roxas felt an immediate need to listen to the song and felt a little sad that he couldn’t at that moment, especially as a large group of teenagers entered the store in Sora’s wake. “Hello,” he called, halfheartedly, before scolding himself a little for not being more attentive. "Welcome," he added a little more sincerely, before turning back to the registers.

“Um, excuse me?” A girl in seriously tall boots and tight booty shorts separated out slightly from the group and approached him. “Do you all have something like, umm, a Halloween costume?”

 _In the middle of summer?_ Roxas thought, but he didn’t say that out loud. Instead he decided to ask another question. “What specifically are you looking for?”

“Well, it’s like-”

“Like, cosplay,” another girl with dark brown hair and a frilly pink dress on tried to help clarify. Roxas thought that she looked like she might be cosplaying already.

“Or Disneybounding,” a third of the group, this one a guy, spoke up. Of the three of them he looked the most punk rock, with edgy styling and multiple buckles all over his outfit. _He’s pretty cute,_ Roxas thought, looking at his style, but it was a passing moment, reined in as quickly as it came. The guy looked young and nowhere near as amazing as Axel.

“Sure,” Roxas said, “we have some things that might qualify.” He turned towards the first girl. “Is it for you?” he asked.

The girl in pink spoke up instead, “Well, we’d just like to see what you have.”

“Sure,” Roxas said, “feel free to look around. And I think we definitely have some stuff that would qualify for Disneybounding in the front there”—he gestured to the front left of the store—“and there’s some more gothic and vampire-type stuff along the back wall.”

“Got anything from video games?” the guy asked as the girls started moving towards the front. “Like, say, Heartless Revenge?”

Roxas felt his chest tense up, and he tried to take a deep breath before responding. “Uh, sure. We have some sweatshirts and t-shirts over in the section just here”—he gestured towards the wall on the right—“and-”

“But like things that could be used as cosplay?” the guy pushed. “You know, for the characters?”

“Um,” Roxas felt something in him deflate as he remembered the year Hayner and he had dressed up as Reese and Garrison; two of the more popular characters from the game who were often shipped in the fandom because the game developers baked in all kinds of crazy sexual tension between them. Many online communities took the stance that they were basically canon anyway. Roxas used to read some fanfiction of them occasionally, but after Hayner had died he found he no longer had the courage or will.

“It’s okay, man,” the punk buckle guy said as he waved Roxas’ help off, “I’ll just take a look around.”

Roxas knew he should probably help the guy out, but he was suddenly relieved that he didn’t have to. Instead he clicked back open his email and set up a time to interview, setting it up to be the last possible day and time, which happened to be the day after the Jars of Flame concert.

 _“Nothing like planning for the apocalypse,”_ he muttered as he hit ‘submit.’ _When it rains, it pours._ He kept that second thought to himself. He knew he was being dramatic but he couldn’t help it. 

“Excuse me?”

Roxas looked up straight into the eyes of the guy who’d asked about the Heartless Revenge stuff. “Sorry,” he muttered before speaking up, “Did you find everything alright?”

“Uh, I was wondering if you could pull down that jacket that looks like it could be an old pirate captain’s coat thing?”

Roxas didn’t even have to ask which one he meant. Sora had made a big deal out of that jacket when he had first put it out on the floor. “Oh my god! Roxas, I need that! Leave one of my size out to try on please - it’s coming home with me!” he’d exclaimed, and indeed had left the store that night wearing his newest purchase. 

“Sure, coming right up,” Roxas said, grabbing the hook to pull the jacket down. 

“While you’re doing that,” the guy said crossing his arms, “Do you think you could help my friend get down that orange zip up hoodie you have at the front - the one from the cat anime?”

“She’s a red panda, Leon,” the girl with the tight booty shorts said, clearly annoyed that she had to correct him but sliding up next to him all the same. “Excuse my friend here,” she said as she looked at Roxas, “but it would be a huge help if you could pull one down for me.”

“Sure, no problem,” Roxas repeated, feeling exhausted, as he turned to the tasks at hand.

By the time Sora had returned from his break, the group was still shopping, along with several other groups who had also come in the store, making the floor busy. Roxas thought he'd never been so glad to see Sora. “Thank god you’re back,” he greeted, “we’ve been busy.” He waved his hand over the register, needlessly, as if it helped to prove his point.

“I see that,” Sora said with his natural smile. “But don’t worry! We’ll take care of everyone or my name isn’t Sora Nakamura!”

“Isn’t your name Sora Tochi?” Roxas asked, puzzled.

“Yeah,” Sora said with a laugh, “but I’ve been practicing with Riku’s last name.”

“Oh,” Roxas said, slightly surprised and a bit embarrassed. “I didn’t know you two were engaged.” 

“We’re not!” Sora said cheerfully, “at least not yet. But we will be! We shared paopu fruit which means it’s destiny. So, I figure, might as well start practicing now.”

Roxas felt his eyebrows shoot up, but he laughed affectionately at Sora’s antics. 

“So don’t worry, we’ll take care of everyone,” Sora reassured with a smile.

The store saw a steady stream of people, but with Sora back they were able to work together as a fairly well-oiled machine for the next few hours until Naminé came in for her closing shift and Roxas moved back to the back room to unpack some new boxes and process inventory. He also decided to help run ‘go-backs’ from time to time to try and help them both out. The groups of shoppers were big today and as soon as one would wrap up the next would come in like clockwork. It was steady and busy enough that they didn’t really have a chance to catch up again until they’d closed up for the night.

 _At least Larxene had made herself scarce for the day. Thank god for small miracles,_ Roxas thought as he closed the second register and Sora gave himself a tally point.

“Ha!” Sora exclaimed, “closed the register first today.”

“Too bad you can’t brag to Demyx,” Roxas teased as they moved to the back room.

“You mean because he’s not working today?” Sora replied with a grin. “I’ll still brag to him anyway next time I see him.”

Roxas laughed, not letting Sora know he’d probably see Demyx first in less than an hour, as he opened his locker to grab his things. He pulled out his phone and noticed he had a few texts from Axel. He smiled and was about to open his phone to read them when Naminé came over to him.

“Hey Roxas,” she greeted softly, “tell Axel thank you for me.” 

“How did you know-”

“You lit up when you looked at your phone,” she explained with a shrug. “Well, just, if you could, you know, tell him thanks for me again, please? Using people as inspiration somehow really helped with my project. And I know you two are, well, honestly, pretty perfect if Xion is to be believed. And he seems like he makes you so happy, so...”

Roxas blushed at the compliment as her voice trailed off. Hoping to turn the spotlight off himself before he turned beet red, he cautiously asked, “How was coffee with Xion?”

“Really good,” Naminé said with a smile. Her cheeks had a soft blush on them and her voice carried an undercurrent of pride. “Granted it was mostly me listening to her talk, and then we went back to close out my show. But she told me a lot of things about herself and I just felt - I don’t know. Really comfortable, somehow? Even despite all the stress we were both under. Plus she said she loved my art when I took her back to show her.” 

Roxas nodded, feeling like he understood. “Are you seeing her again?” he asked.

“Yeah.” Naminé smiled softly. “We decided we needed to hang out again on a less crazy night - for both of us.”

“That’s great,” Roxas encouraged. 

“Yeah,” Naminé agreed.

“C’mon you two,” Sora said, throwing his arms around both of them, “let’s get out of here! I hear there’s Nightmare Before Christmas Cookies with our names on them!”

“We’re going for cookies?” Roxas asked, confused. Though cookies did sound good, and Nightmare Before Christmas Cookies even better. As if on cue, his stomach growled.

“Yeah! Riku is meeting me there when he’s off work - and you two are invited if you want!” He looked at Roxas. “Ask Axel to come too.”

“I guess I could go for a cookie,” Roxas said, smiling as they exited the backroom to meet Larxene and lock up the store for the night. If he became manager, locking up and opening would be part of his duties. The idea of that added responsibility felt weird to him. 

As soon as they exited the store and Roxas made it out of her gaze, he finally unlocked his phone to read Axel’s texts. They had come in hours earlier.

 **AXEL:** **_Hanging out with Xion for the rest of the day._ **

**AXEL:** **_But my mind is also on a certain Cinnamon Bun._ **

Roxas felt a smile creep across his face.

 **AXEL:** **_I could just eat you up. Maybe I will later._ **

Roxas felt his cheeks flush and he typed in, **_Want to start with some cookies as an appetizer? Naminé, Sora, Riku and I are going to Nightmare Before Christmas Cookies for some dessert. Bring Xion and join us?_**

Axel texted back almost immediately. 

**AXEL:** **_LOVE THAT PLACE! We are so there!_ **

**AXEL:** **_ps. sweets for my sweet cheeks - look forward to dessert number two later XD_ **

Roxas felt the fire inside him spark to life. There was no denying it - he really did love everything about Axel.

He felt his heart flutter at the thought. 

* * *

“So there I was, at the championship _finals_ _,_ about to meet the greatest gamer to ever game, ever - besides me, of course - and the fire alarm goes off!” 

“Then what happened?” Naminé asked, leaning in close, nearly smashing her cookie sandwich as she did so. Roxas pulled her plate back for her on instinct. She didn’t even notice.

“Oh, this is where it starts to really get good,” Sora smirked.

“If by good you mean insane,” Riku said, running his hand down Sora’s back affectionately.

“Uh, yeah! What else do you think I mean?”

“There you are, sweet cheeks,” Axel said, grabbing a chair and turning it around before sitting down in it next to Roxas. He kissed his cheek before grabbing the cookie off the plate next to him and taking a bite. “Yum!” he declared loudly before turning to the rest of the table. “Hey. Good to see you all again. What did I miss?”

“Only half of Sora’s story, and that you’re eating Naminé’s cookie,” Roxas answered, feeling like a part of the group in a way he hadn’t for a long while. 

“Hey, that was my cookie!” Naminé exclaimed a beat too late. 

“Sorry about that,” Axel apologized. “I was wondering why Roxas got an oatmeal cookie sandwich. It was actually really good though. I’ll get you another one. Xion is putting in our order right now. The middle was just vanilla? I’ll tell her to add it-”

“Oh! That’s okay,” Naminé said, jumping to her feet, “I’ll go say hi.”

Just as Roxas remarked, “I was wondering where she was.”

“Yeah, well,” Axel said, his eyes tracking Naminé as the blonde made her way over to the bakery case. He seemed distant for a moment before his eyes brightened like fire sparking to life. “Thanks for the invite, guys. This was the perfect way to end the day - Xion and I really needed something sweet.” He winked at Roxas as he said it.

“No problem. The more the merrier!” Sora smiled. “So, are you as big a Jars of Flame fan as Roxas is?” 

“I like them well enough,” Axel answered smoothly. “I play guitar and I used to be able to play their big hit by heart.”

Roxas didn’t miss the interested look Riku threw over Axel’s way, but he didn’t remark on it out loud. Instead he chewed his cookie slowly as Sora smiled. 

“You mean _Maker?”_ Sora asked, interested. “That song changed my life, I swear. It’s so good.”

Axel nodded. “Yeah, it’s a good one.”

“Do you play any other instruments?” Riku asked.

“I used to play the piano,” Axel admitted. “But that was years ago. Not sure I still could now.”

Roxas blinked, he hadn’t known that. Taking a sip of his bottle of water before breaking off a piece of his chocolate chunk peanut butter cookie he decided he really wanted to hear Axel play the piano someday.

“Is _Maker_ your favorite Jars of Flame song?”

Axel shrugged. “It’s one I know the best. Why? Is it yours?”

“No, I don’t think I can pick just _one_ favorite! Last week it was _Fever Pitch-_ ”

“Which is a really good one,” Riku agreed with a grin. “Personally, I’ve always liked _Sonic Shadow.”_

“That one’s my favorite,” Roxas said with a grin as Naminé and Xion wandered over to the table, plates of cookies in hand. 

“Okay, what did we miss?” Naminé asked, setting down a plate as Xion looked around for a seat. 

“Nothing,” Roxas answered, taking another bite of his cookie. He couldn’t remember when he’d last hung out with people like this, in a big group, but he found he was settling into it. 

“Didn’t sound like nothing,” Xion said, pulling up a chair to sit between Roxas and Naminé. She had done a dark smokey eye over the bruising around her eye, but some of the purple was still clearly visible. If Roxas didn't know any better, he would have said it was part of her makeup job, but he did know better and it made him feel sick. He scooted closer to Axel, suddenly very glad his boyfriend had spent the day with her and offering her the extra support when she needed it. “Were you guys talking about Jars of Flame? I love them!” She looked across the table at Sora and Riku and smiled. “Hi, I’m Xion,” she introduced, putting her food down and holding out her hand to shake. Sora reached out happily.

“Hi! I’m Sora, and this is my boyfriend, Riku.”

“Nice to meet you both.”

“Likewise,” Riku said, nodding in her direction as he ran his free hand down Sora’s back. Roxas noticed it brought a blush to Sora’s cheeks. It was sugary sweet.

“So how did Sora’s story end?” Naminé asked Roxas, as the rest of the table continued with introductions.

“I don’t know, he never finished telling it. We got distracted,” Roxas said, reaching down for more cookie - realizing it was almost gone. 

“Here,” Axel said, breaking off half of a snickerdoodle cookie and putting it on Roxas' plate. “Snickerdoodle for my Cinnamon Roll,” he flirted, and Roxas felt the familiar spark inside his stomach catch fire.

“Oi, Sora,” Naminé’s voice called over to the brunette, “what happened after the fire alarm went off?”

“Oh, he bum-rushed the stage,” Riku answered for him with a smile.

“He did not!” Naminé replied in disbelief.

“He sure did!” Riku confirmed. “But it works for him because he’s got a cute bum.” Roxas noticed this made Sora blush deeper. “Before anyone knew what was happening he grabbed the duck and ran outside! Left all the players behind-”

“Wait, don’t tell me,” Axel interrupted with a huge grin, turning to look at Xion. “You took the duck and ran out into the rain, and a tall fireman later told you that there was a fire in the server room.”

“Yeah!” Sora looked up, shocked. “How do you know the rest of that story?”

“Yeah, Xion,” Axel said, turning to look over towards his best friend, “how do I know the rest of that story?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Xion muttered, looking down, her cheeks flushed.

“I think you totally should,” Axel egged her on, teasing her as she was clearly reluctant to speak.

“Oh, are you the reason there was a duck there in the first place?” Roxas asked her way in a low voice, recalling their conversation from the clock tower.

“N-no,” Xion replied but she didn’t sound all that convincing. Nevertheless her response seemed to open the floodgates and the conversation flowed from there smoothly across the table as the whole group seemed to fall into easy conversation. 

Roxas felt content to sit back and watch it all play out while he nibbled absentmindedly on a cookie. He couldn’t help but be reminded of times when he’d hung out with Hayner, Pence and Olette back in college. It wasn’t the exact same, but the vibe felt similar. There was camaraderie and friendship yes, but more distinctly there was an underlying current of _trust_ that floated around the table and throughout the group. It made Roxas feel connected, like he was a part of something bigger than himself. It wasn’t a new feeling, per se, but it was one he hadn’t felt in a while. He hadn’t even known he’d missed it so much. He leaned in and embraced it the best he could, trying to absorb the feeling so he could think back on it later, save it for Pence and Olette whenever he saw them again.

By the time all their cookies were crumbs on their plates, and the group said goodbye for the night - with Sora insisting that Axel come to their pre-game concert party - Roxas was still deep in thought. He went through the motions of saying goodbye to his friends, and he felt extra pleased when Naminé and Xion left together, but he couldn’t turn his brain off. It was like a switch had been flipped and everything he’d ever learned about friendship, everything he had been missing in his life on that level since he’d laid Hayner to rest, was rushing back into him ten fold.

“What you thinking about, Cinnabon?” Axel asked as he wrapped his arm around Roxas and led them away from Nightmare before Christmas Cookies, and towards home.

“Friendship,” Roxas answered honestly and he felt Axel press a warm kiss onto his cheek.

“What about it?” 

“Well, just that it’s important,” Roxas answered after a while, “and I think I kind of forgot that.”

“But you’re remembering now?” Axel’s warm voice sounded so concerned, and Roxas wanted to snuggle up into it. Instead he pressed himself a little firmer into Axel’s side.

“Yeah,” Roxas replied, “I think I finally am.” Roxas felt calmer in the night air after the admission and they walked for a while in silence.

“Did your meeting really go okay?” Roxas asked, breaking the quiet after a while.

“Yeah, it went fine,” Axel said kind of flippantly, like he wanted to play it off like it wasn’t important, but Roxas could read the seriousness in his face. “But there was some emotional fallout. I’m really glad you asked us both here. It was a good way to end the day.”

“Good nights start with cookies?” he teased with a smile.

“And end with Cinnabons,” Axel said playfully back, pressing in closer to Roxas before leaning down to whisper into his ear. “Come back to my place?” 

Roxas looked up into bright green eyes that still captivated him every time, trying not to let the sudden flames in his heart spread out too far in his body, but it was a losing battle. “To spend the night?” he asked, his heart swelling in his chest.

“Yeah,” Axel confirmed as he smiled at him, “to spend the night.”

Roxas felt his heart catch in his throat. “Are you sure?” he asked, almost regretting giving Axel the out immediately while also trying not to feel overly excited.

He failed at both. 

“Yeah,” Axel said again as he nodded, his eyes blinking back emotions, not all of which Roxas could catch, “yeah, I am.”

Roxas traced his fingers down Axel’s arm before interlacing their fingers together. There always seemed to be more with Axel, a deeper level to things even when Roxas thought there couldn’t possibly be more. Not that it hadn’t been that way with Hayner too, but each step they had taken had always been on a journey towards something they wanted to accomplish together. At first it was high school graduation, followed by college diplomas, and then mainly KeyChat. Roxas had always thought they might fit something like marriage or a family in there, but he never got the chance to find out. 

But with Axel it was different, Roxas mused. His boyfriend seemed to take pride in just being with Roxas as-is, and that was just as wonderful in an entirely different way. Less working towards an outcome and more enjoying what they had in the present moment, here and now. The idea flooded him, filling him up with warmth, as they walked back towards Axel’s place, hand in hand, the night falling around them. 

Lost to his thoughts and the warm tall man by his side, Roxas lost all track of time. Before he knew it they were headed up to Axel’s apartment. They had barely made it past the front door before Axel crushed their lips together, lowering himself down to cover Roxas and claim his lips with his own. 

“Get a room you two!” Demyx’s voice called from the couch. 

Axel pulled back. “Only if you and Zexy do,” he said, his eyes sparking hot and never leaving Roxas.

“We’re not sucking face in the doorway,” Demyx replied. 

“Don’t worry - we’re going,” Axel said, pulling Roxas along at top speed towards his room.

“Hi, Demyx - bye, Demyx,” Roxas called with a blush as he was dragged along behind Axel, who quickly locked them in his room. The taller man wasted no time pulling off his shirt before discarding Roxas’ own, causing him to giggle. 

“Come here,” Axel practically growled, pulling Roxas forward so their torso’s pressed together. The feel of Axel’s skin against his own gave Roxas a thrill that traveled directly down to his cock. But it almost felt like an afterthought somehow as Roxas studied Axel. This wasn’t just about sex, he realized, Axel’s gaze felt both primal and personal. This was about marking, holding, claiming - and Roxas was swept up in it.

“Baby,” Axel gasped as he ran his fingers over Roxas’ body - exploring and mapping out his skin like it was the first time he ever had. Roxas felt something explode inside of him as his cock stood hot and hard under his hot hands and all consuming kisses. Roxas’ feet practically melted into the floor where he stood as Axel pulled off his boxers and moved to kneel in front of him, looking up as he licked the underside of Roxas’ cock.

Roxas watched enthralled as Axel passionately lapped at his dick. The sight of that tongue running up and down his length was hot as fuck and Roxas felt like he forgot to breathe. Forgot to think. All he could do was watch as his wonderfully sexy, fiery man licked him like a delicious sweet he couldn’t get enough of. Roxas heard himself let out a soft moan, the sound filling the room, permeating the space.

Axel took that as a sign to take him in his mouth, the tip of Roxas’ cock hitting the back of his throat. Roxas shivered in pleasure as the wet heat surrounded him. Without thinking he reached down and entangled his fingers into soft red hair and stroked in time with Axel’s sucks. He watched as his length disappeared into Axel’s mouth, driving him in and out with the moves of a pro but the gentleness of a lover. 

The way his lips opened up around Roxas and effortlessly took him in, all the way down to the base, and sucked like getting Roxas off was the most important thing in the world, was corrupting Roxas’ very soul. His hips thrust, and he was breathing heavily, softly crying out Axel's name with abandon as he panted, watching as the redhead worked his cock like a dream come to life.

Roxas knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer.

“Ugh! Axel,” he moaned, his voice not very loud but loaded with emotion. So much so he could hear it - completely and totally lost to the sensation and the feelings the man in front of him was giving him. “Baby! I’m going to cum.”

Roxas thought the warning might make Axel pull back in favor of doing other things, but his boyfriend only sucked harder, reaching down to gently cup Roxas’ balls in his hands. Roxas felt a soft squeeze on his heavy cum-filled balls before Axel started massaging them expertly, still sucking on Roxas’ cock deliciously, like milking Roxas’ cum was his key to life. All his actions signaled that he had no desire to move and that Roxas should let go and cum deep down his throat. Bright green eyes burned into his own from below, and before Roxas knew it he was cumming, hot and strong, down the back of Axel’s throat, who swallowed every drop like it was ambrosia.

When he finally caught his breath, Axel was already moving up to kiss him sound on the lips before pulling him into bed, spooning Roxas from behind, pulling him close in a move that was very reminiscent of their first night together at the brothel. 

“What about you?” Roxas protested, when he’d finally got enough of his wits back to wonder.

“This was about you, Cinnasticks,” Axel purred directly in his ear, “you can get me off later. I had my second desert and it was the sweetest thing I have ever tasted.”

“But you had cookies!” he teased with a laugh.

“You forget, Foxy Roxy,” Axel said, spooning him tighter, “Cinnabons are sweeter.”

Roxas laid there, processing the sweetness, heat swirling under his skin along with the protection and comfort that had always been present when he lay in Axel’s arms. He snuggled in deeper towards the warmth and let out a yawn and Axel threaded his fingers through his hair. He was about to drift off when he heard Axel murmur “I’m really glad you’re here,” into his hair.

“I’m really glad you’re here, too,” Roxas replied, soft and sincere.

“I’ll always be here,” Axel said sleepily, as he tightened his grip. “You are mine. My everything. Got it memorized?”

Roxas turned and snuggled into Axel’s chest. “Hearts,” he somehow managed to whisper through his sleepy haze, listening to Axel’s beat strong in his chest.

“Mhm,” Axel hummed, placing a kiss on the top of his head. Roxas felt it down to his toes.

“Axel?”

“Hm?”

“Thanks.”

“Oh, Roxy.” Axel’s voice was sleepy and warm as he snuggled in closer and curled up into Roxas. “You’re welcome anytime.”

Roxas felt like he’d just crossed a huge chasm and had safely made it to the other side. He sighed contently, pressing into Axel, drifting off to sleep in his boyfriend’s arms with a smile on his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Disneybounding](https://www.instagram.com/thedisneybound/?hl=en) for the uninitiated °o°  
> (...anyone else enjoy that little cameo? Just me? 😉)
> 
> Heartless Revenge is my own and any reference to other video games, real or otherwise, is unintentional. Though, let the record state, I would play the shit out of it irl while eating Nightmare Before Christmas Cookies if I could.
> 
> Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate! Comments and Kudos are better than turkey and stuffing, and I am grateful for every single one of you amazing humans. 
> 
> For more fun join me on [tumblr](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/) ♥️


	17. Axel-ized

**Chapter 17 - Axel-ized**

“And please try not to let me get _too_ drunk,” Roxas said to Axel before double-checking the address on his phone matched that of the modern house in front of him. Satisfied that they matched he pressed the doorbell. Distantly he heard a dog bark as they waited. “The tickets weren’t cheap, and I really actually want to remember the concert-”

“As I said fifty times before we left,” Axel said with a small smirk, “I won’t let you get too drunk.”

“Promise?” Roxas asked right as the door opened.

“Roxas! You made it!” Sora sounded excited as he swept Roxas up into a hug. Even for Sora, that was new. The embrace had Roxas feeling a bit like his old self, before the anxiety started to creep back in. By the time Sora released him, Roxas' heart was pounding in his chest. He looked up at Axel who was smiling down at him and he felt himself relax. 

“And Axel! You made it too! Come in, you guys!” He moved to the side, letting them through the doorway. A small pile of shoes sat to the left, so Roxas quickly removed his own - Axel following suit. “Riku already started making drinks, and I have some of my famous Mega-Elixir in the fridge if you want some of that,” Sora explained excitedly when they started moving toward the kitchen. “And Kairi is here too. You haven’t met her yet but she’s my best friend, and I’m so excited to introduce you guys!” 

They turned the corner and stepped into a sleek white kitchen that would have felt right at home on one of those online inspiration boards. The open floor plan made the space feel even larger than it was. Jars of Flame played from a cell phone in a pink case that sat on the kitchen island. Riku stood in the corner, fixing a drink while chatting to a girl with auburn hair and a tight black t-shirt. Roxas recognized the shirt immediately, even before he was close enough to actually read the words on the back, which read _Jars of Flame: The Inferno Tour_ followed by a list of cities. At their feet sat a large black and white dog, silently begging for treats from either of them.

“Hey guys!” Sora called as they got closer. The girl spun around, and Roxas recognized her immediately.

“Coffee girl?” Roxas asked in surprise as he watched her eyes widen. 

“Guilty as charged,” she said, reaching out her hand. “My name is actually Kairi though - not Kaira.”

“Wait - you two know each other?” Sora shot them both a questioning look. 

“We met once,” Roxas answered with a smile.

“Sure did! Sora, you remember that week we challenged each other to do good deeds?”

“Don’t remind me,” Sora groaned, still grinning. “Or maybe remind me after I’ve had more to drink.”

“You’re just bitter you lost,” Kairi said, sliding him a half-filled glass across the kitchen island. 

“So, Roxas was one of your good deeds?”

“She bought me my coffee,” Roxas confirmed with a grin, “and then we got to chatting a little. But I never caught her real name.”

Kairi shook her head. “That’s because the barista was a real piece of work. Do you know he nearly argued with me when I said I wanted to pay for drinks for the guy behind me? _What if he orders twenty-two drinks?”_

Roxas stifled a laugh as she did a decent impression. “What if I had?” he asked.

“Like I told Mister-Bitchy-Barista: then I would have to buy a total of twenty-three.”

“Speaking of, what can I get you two to drink?” Riku asked. 

“Water for me,” Roxas answered. He really was trying to keep to his word of remembering the concert, and starting drinking early was always a recipe for him to forget. It was something he’d taken major advantage of for a while. _After Hayner. Long before the brothel. Long before Axel and his friends and-_

“I’ll take whatever you’re mixing,” Axel said.

“Just water?” Riku confirmed Roxas’ way before pulling out a new cup for Axel.

“For now,” Roxas replied.

“Who’s this?” Axel asked as the dog that had been at Riku’s feet was now circling them both, being really friendly and running between their legs looking for pets.

“That’s Goofy. You can pet him,” Sora confirmed cheerfully. “He gets along with everyone. Even the stray cat that comes by from time to time.”

“It’s true,” Riku confirmed, handing Axel his drink, “they like to go hunting together - they bring back dead mice.”

“One time they brought back a dead bat!” Sora squeaked. “Scared me half to death when I found it.”

“I’ll say,” Riku said with a laugh, “it was adorable.”

Kairi giggled at their antics, and Roxas leaned down to pet Goofy. Not that he needed to move very far - the dog kept trying to jump up on him once Roxas set out the petting invitation.

“Aw, you’re so cute,” he said, scratching the dog behind his ears. Goofy stuck his tongue out, happily giving Roxas a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

“Stealing my kisses, huh?” Axel joked.

“You know he can’t compare,” Roxas said seriously, kissing Axel’s cheek and standing back up as Riku handed him a cold bottle of water.

“Anyone down to play Mario Kart?” Sora asked with a grin, “I can best anyone on Rainbow Road!”

“What are you talking about?” Kairi asked with a laugh, “I kicked your ass last time.”

“Semantics.” Sora laughed, looking pointedly over at Axel and Sora. “You guys in?”

“Sign me up,” Axel said as Sora flicked on the large flat screen in the connecting living room - the open floor plan flowing from the kitchen to the living room. Everything about the place was so much nicer than Roxas’ tiny studio and so much more spacious and updated. He felt a queasiness in his stomach but he stamped it out - he would not think about the house he and Hay had talked about buying. He would not allow it. This was his night - his friends, his boyfriend, his music and now video games. He moved over to where Sora was pulling out an old N64. 

“Old school, huh?” he asked as he took as he took a controller and plugged it in.

“Riku is a Mario Kart purist,” Sora explained with a shrug, “and I can’t say I disagree.”

Roxas laughed. “Well count me in for round one.”

“I’ll play winner,” Riku offered, sitting down on the couch, new drink in his hand. “That way you four can play.”

Sora gave his boyfriend a smile as he set up and started the game. It had been a while since Roxas had played but he fell into it smoothly enough. Leaning into Axel’s side as he raced Yoshi around the track. Axel had picked Toad and Kairi was playing Donkey Kong. Sora had decided he’d play Princess Peach which made Roxas grin. The competition was fierce to say the least - and Riku had his work cut out for him in the little tourney bracket Sora had going by the time he joined in as Bowser. Roxas sipped on Axel’s third drink, a glass of Mega-Elixir, and Sora had a whole tally of who’d dominated what course of his phone.

After about forty-five minutes of playing, Roxas felt Axel’s phone going off. From where Axel sat on the floor, tucked between Roxas’ legs, the vibration easily made its way into Roxas’ foot – buzzing strong enough that if Roxas didn’t know any better he’d think Axel had snuck in a toy. He smirked at the thought, it would be just like Axel to tease him like that, and he couldn’t deny his cock twitched at the idea, but he quickly chided himself for thinking about it while sitting on Sora and Riku’s couch. Axel didn’t reach for it – too intent on winning his round. He’d been in the lead and Roxas, who was sitting out this round, was silently cheering him on.

“Hell yeah!” Axel exclaimed just as Riku yelled, “FUCK!” The two had been neck and neck, and Axel crossed the finish line to take first place. Sora, who had come in third, marked down the points on his phone all while hugging his boyfriend around the waist. Roxas watched as Riku leaned into the touch. Kairi tossed her controller on the floor - she had been coming in first for the initial rounds but Roxas noticed that she’d seemed to lose her focus the more they’d played.

“Better luck next time,” Axel said.

“I’ll get you next time,” Riku vowed, even as he smiled and kissed Sora’s cheek before getting up to refill his drink. “Anyone else want another round?”

“Don’t you guys have to get going soon?” Axel said, pulling out his phone. Roxas saw a lot of notifications on it - he caught Xion’s name at the top but that was all he could see before his boyfriend clicked it off. 

“Only if we don’t mind missing the opening act-” Kairi stated.

“But that’s Ghost Train!” Sora looked up. “And I would actually like to see them.” 

“Yeah, that’s fair,” Roxas put in, noticing Axel slump a little. He reached down and put his hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder and squeezed before he started talking again. 

“I did pull them up on Spotify the other day while I was working - they’re actually pretty good. Not as good as Jars of Flame but worth seeing I think,” Kairi said with a smile.

“I hadn’t heard of them before,” Riku admitted what Roxas was thinking, “but we can head out if you guys want.”

“Then it’s settled,” Sora said standing up, opening his phone. “I’ll call us a ride.”

“I wish you were coming with us,” Roxas said, lowering himself to the floor next to Axel, who turned off his phone and set it beside him. They had looked into getting Axel tickets, but they were over double the price even Roxas had paid for his seat and nowhere near where they were assigned to be. Axel hadn’t seemed too bothered about it though.

“It’s okay. I’ll see you later,” Axel said, pressing his lips to Roxas’. “Have fun. And take lots of pictures for me.”

“He will,” Kairi answered for him, “I’ll make sure of it.”

Axel smiled, covering Roxas’ hand with his own. Roxas felt warmth lick up his arm like a flame. 

“Car should be here in five,” Sora announced, moving from the kitchen back over towards the couch, which ignited a flurry of activity to get everything cleaned up and ready to head outside. Roxas moved to put back on his shoes, still feeling slightly warm and fuzzy from the sips of drink and Axel’s touch. Straightening back up he turned towards the redhead who was putting back on his own shoes. He wished Axel was coming with them, but he was glad he was here all the same. He took a step closer, wrapping his arms around Axel’s middle, squeezing tight, as Axel wrapped his arms around Roxas and held him back.

“I’ll see you in a few hours?” Axel asked.

“As soon as the concert’s over,” Roxas replied, leaning into the touch, feeling Axel place a kiss to the top of his head.

“Have fun, sweet cheeks.”

“I will. But it would be more fun with you.” 

“I get every story when you get back.”

“Every story. I’ll take some videos too,” Roxas vowed as Axel carded his fingers through Roxas’ hair before letting him go to put on his other shoe and together they walked outside - but not before Axel kissed him hard on the lips. Roxas could still feel them tingling as they made their way towards the dark green car that had pulled up to take them to the concert.

“Have fun you guys,” Axel said to the group as they loaded in. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“We’re glad you could make it,” Riku said, “and you both are welcome back anytime. I have a rematch to settle.”

“Ah.” The corners of Axel’s lips ticked up. “But you can’t win against me.”

“Time will tell that one. Next time we meet I’m sure I’ll come out on top.”

“Bold words,” Axel said as Sora pouted. Riku turned towards him.

“What?” he whined. “I like to be on top too!”

The group dissolved into laughter as they headed off. Sora asked the driver if he could link his phone to play Jars of Flame in the car. Turned out the driver was just as big of a fan and actually led them all in a mock-karaoke session. Though Roxas had only taken small sips of Axel’s drink and the effect was already wearing off, a warm feeling sat in the pit of his stomach for the entire drive.

* * *

Roxas couldn’t believe where he was standing.

Their seats ended up being on the floor by the stage. They were so close that Gaia, Vortex, and Prism could all literally sweat on them from the raised platform if they got close enough. Roxas could feel his excitement mount along with the crowd as the opening band closed their set. They had missed a couple of songs - there had been some minor traffic and the line to get through security had been long, but Roxas had to admit from what they had heard the band wasn’t bad. He would have to remember to download some of Ghost Train’s new stuff when he got back home.

Suddenly the lights went dark. Roxas felt Sora jump excitedly at his side and the whole stadium screamed loudly in anticipation. The excitement was palpable in the air before the band had even strummed a single note. Glow sticks and cell phones started to rise up in the air, lighting the crowd like a Christmas tree. It was a moment Roxas almost got swept away in, like a calm before the storm, before he remembered to take out his own phone and hit ‘record.’

And he was glad he did too.

At that exact second the opening chord of _Fever Pitch_ rang out into the audience. Followed by the next and the next. As the sound built, so did the audience’s cheers before the lights turned on blindingly from the stage revealing Gaia, the band’s vocalist and guitar front man, launched into the song. 

“I can’t believe they’re starting with this song!” Sora screamed into his ear.

“I can’t believe we’re this close!” Roxas screamed back, taking in the whole stage in front of him. Gaia with his guitar slung low on his hips and earth toned face paint striped across his eyes. Vortex jamming away on the drums, his face completely covered by his iconic white mask that swirled to a point over one eye. Prism was adorned by her sapphire rhinestone masquerade mask that sparkled under the stage lights as she played the keyboard. They all looked like they were born to perform sold-out shows. _Which they were,_ Roxas thought, captivated by the bright lights, the large screens behind them, the set up of the stage and the tight leather pants that clung to Gaia’s legs, and the white vest he wore that left little to the imagination. 

It was positively surreal.

 _Fever Pitch_ ran right into _Ghost Drive_ and Roxas felt himself smiling uncontrollably. He put down his phone and stopped recording to just take in the moment and watch. It wasn’t every day that he got to see the band that he always had felt connected with from the very first song he heard - back when they were virtual unknowns, putting out their songs on the internet. It had been Gaia’s voice that had captivated him at first, but then Prism had some solo songs on their second album that had blown Roxas away with how _good_ they were. Compared to Gaia and Prism, it had taken longer for Vortex to catch his attention. Next to the others, he was a mystery - his mask, wild hair, and the burn scars that covered his arms and chest - he managed to stand out all on his own. Together their music had made him smile in times where it felt like there was nothing to smile about. Never, in a million years, did he think he would be so close to the stage, watching them perform it all live.

Roxas felt like he was on fire.

“Twilight Town!” Gaia’s voice boomed from the stage as the song wrapped and the crowd went wild. “How’re you all doing tonight?” 

Endless screams. Roxas watched as Kairi and Sora switched places around Riku and he felt someone knocking into his back, but, for once, he couldn't care less. 

“Great to hear it!” The front man entertained the crowd. “I am Gaia”— _more screams_ —“but you already knew that!”

Some of the audience laughed.

“And to my right we have the lovely Mistress of Keys, Prism! And behind me, Vortex is rocking the drums - together we are Jars of FLAMMMMMMME!”

He sang out the last bit and the crowd went wild as the notes for _Sonic Shadow_ rang out. It was an older song of theirs and one of Roxas’ favorites. He couldn’t believe he was about to hear it live.

_“Sometimes in the darkness,_

_There’s a creature come to call,_

_Who moves through the night,_

_And covers us all._

_And in the midst it rises,_

_To capture - and behold._

_This is that story,_

_Let the Shadow unfold…”_

“And show yourself, Sonic Shadow, and take away the pain,” the audience sang the beginnings of the chorus as Gaia held out the mic to them. It was like every single person in the room knew all of the lyrics. 

Roxas glanced over at their little group in disbelief as everyone was shouting and singing. A smile floated onto his face and Roxas joined in, screaming his throat raw. He’d always loved this song. He knew it wasn’t really about Peter Pan but in his mind that’s what he’d always connected the lyrics to - Peter’s shadow. _And maybe, just maybe, he’d be a lost boy and Shadow would take away his pain._

“Isn’t this the best!” Roxas heard Kairi scream out, and saw Sora nod enthusiastically out of the corner of his eye. But mostly he was captivated by what was happening on the stage and stood rooted as they played his favorite song. By the time the final notes of the song rang out, he felt electric and alive.

 _“Sonic Shadow,”_ Prism’s voice said over her mic from the keyboard, “did we plan this one on the setlist?”

“Ladies and Gentleman - Prism being… Prism!” Gaia proclaimed and Prism’s fingers flew over the keys in a short solo. “Thought we’d treat you all to an oldie - one of our first hits.”

“Put us on the map,” Prism agreed. “Never thought we’d be playing sold out shows though.”

"Got anything to add?" Gaia joked at Vortex, who sat behind his drum kit, silent as always. "Guess not." Roxas chuckled at their antics, but the noise was drowned out by the roar of the crowd as Gaia put down his guitar and picked up a freestanding microphone, before the band launched into Terra Firma, a newer track off their last album. 

“Can you believe we’re even here?” Roxas heard Kairi gush as the slower song started to play. Gaia started mingling down low on the far right of the stage, working the crowd as he sang, lowering his hand to touch his fans in the audience. The crowd bum-rushed the stage, reaching up for a change to touch the idol, strands of his long hair falling around his face as he leaned over.

“He’s so much taller in person!” Roxas said with a smile, hoping that Gaia would move closer towards them. 

“Yeah!” Kairi agreed, yelling over the crowd while snapping a photo with her phone. 

“Guys!” Sora turned to them all with a smile. “This is so cool!” He wrapped his arm tightly around Riku’s waist, who was smiling as big as Roxas had ever seen him.

“He’s coming this way!” Kairi shrieked. 

Roxas glanced up. Gaia was still singing, swiftly moving towards them, fingers still reaching out for fans every now and again. Behind him his face was projected on the large screens, but Roxas didn’t need them - Gaia was now so close to them that Roxas could practically make eye contact. He felt the excitement in him rise. Suddenly every single cent he’d spent to be there was more than worth it. Gaia reached down his hand, catching Sora’s fingers first who cradled his wrist like it was precious gold. He was about to reach out for Roxas but instead his fingers swept around Kairi’s wrist as he sang the last line of the song, looking directly at her, before yanking her up on the stage.

Roxas felt his jaw drop to the floor as he turned in disbelief towards Sora and Riku. The unexpected surprise and elation that flooded him as Gaia started talking while leading Kairi to a tall silver stool that was now on the stage meant he couldn’t hear a word of what was being said. Sora rushed over to him, and Roxas could see the disbelief on his face.

“OH. MY. GOD.” Sora got out.

“Did you know-”

“That _this_ was going to happen? Hell no!” Sora smiled. “Fuck! I can’t believe this is happening!”

“What’s your name, and where are you from?” Gaia was asking.

“Kairi,” she answered, her cheeks were flushed, “and Twilight Town.”

The crowd screamed and Roxas felt his heart pump loudly in his ears.

“Well Kairi from Twilight Town”—Gaia moved to pick up his guitar—“before we speed things back up again, would it be okay if Prism here sang you a song.”

 _Prism’s solos!_ Roxas thought excitedly. _The night was getting better with every minute._ He pulled out his phone to record just as Kairi giggled from the stage. “Of course!” Roxas saw her mouth move more than the mic picked up, and the band launched into the opening notes of _Rain on Me_ . A slower love ballad that actually began with the tale of a broken heart. Roxas had listened to it on repeat for a while when it first came out - he thought he might have logged several hundred views on GummiTube alone. Hearing the song performed live, with Kairi on stage - with Prism literally singing to _her -_ Roxas felt this strange sense of satisfaction and mirth building in him. Like he was a part of something bigger.

The large screen on the stage kept switching from the band members to Kairi’s face, and Roxas didn’t stop recording until the song was over and she was escorted back to her seat by security. 

Jars of Flame had already picked up speed and launched into _Hyperdrive,_ but Roxas was barely listening as Kairi rejoined their group, clutching a new grey sweatshirt in her hands, smiling wide, looking for all the world like she had just won the lottery.

“Oh my god!” she squealed at Sora. “Prism just _sang me a song!_ And gave me a shirt! My life is complete!”

“I know!” Sora smiled at her.

“I got the whole thing recorded!” Roxas couldn't help but jump in.

“You looked amazing up there,” Riku said as they all descended on her, pulling her into a hug.

“You guys are going to start a mosh pit!” she teased, laughing as she whipped the side of her eyes. 

“Worth it,” Riku declared with a grin. 

“Put it on!” Sora encouraged gesturing to the sweatshirt, and she quickly pulled it on over her shirt. “Fucking HOT!” Sora exclaimed, before stepping back, catching the end of the song. 

“Literally!” She called back, “But so worth it!”

Vortex began his _Hyperdrive_ drum solo, and Roxas' attention was quickly sucked back towards the stage. Though he’d spent many hours listening to them, there was really nothing like seeing Vortex play live. Roxas found himself caught up in it for several more songs as they played, the crowd going wild, the energy turned back up. By the time Jars of Flame launched into their final song, _HERO,_ Roxas was feeling exhausted but elated. The pyrotechnics filled the stage, blinding and bold, as the band played on with as much ferocity as they’d started with.

“THANK YOU, TWILIGHT TOWN!” Gaia called out as the lights flashed, the final pyrotechnics hit, and the stage went dark.

There were screams for encores into the pitch black. Many people held up their cell phones and glow sticks again. The audience was still going wild.

“Think they’ll come back and play _Maker?”_ Sora yelled out.

“It’s weird they didn’t play it,” Riku yelled back.

“Didn’t that break records whenever they released it?” Kairi asked.

“Yeah,” Roxas confirmed. He had also thought it was weird the band hadn’t played it. _Maybe they were saving it for an encore._

Just as he had the thought, the stage lit up again and the opening notes to _Maker_ started. The fans went wild. Roxas pulled out his phone and started recording - just as the pyro on the stage shot off. He smiled _\- Axel would love to see this._

_“In darkest times,_

_I’m yours to keep,_

_Even if you find me,_

_In my sleep,”_

Gaia’s screaming voice filled the stadium before Prism’s voice took over for the chorus. _Maker_ was easily their most recognized song, and the audience knew every word, singing along with the band. By the time the song was over, Roxas felt a little sad, knowing that it really was the last song of the night.

“THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT!” Gaia called from the stage before the lights flashed and more pyro rained down and then the stage went empty again.

The crowd cheered for a little while longer before slowly the lights started to come on in the stadium and people started to file out. The chairs on the floor had all been disturbed from the mosh pit, but rather than fight the wave of people Roxas found a free one and sank into it. He felt tired and happy. He pulled out his phone and texted Axel the video of _Maker_ before standing back up and pulling Sora to his side. In a move that surprised himself he quickly snapped a selfie of them with the stage in the background.

“Want me to take it?” Kairi offered but Roxas shook his head. 

“Nope, but I can get one of the three of you.”

“Sure,” Riku agreed, handing his phone over. Roxas looked up a little surprised but he supposed Riku was feeling as impulsive as him.

_It was hard not to after that concert._

Roxas handed Riku back his phone before looking back down at his own. Axel had texted him back.

 **AXEL:** **_Good show then? :D_ **

**_THE BEST!!!_ ** Roxas typed in all caps before hitting send. **_Can’t wait to tell you what happened!_ **he added as Axel’s reply came back nearly immediately.

 **AXEL:** ** _Can’t wait to hear it!_** **_Ready for an encore?_**

Roxas giggled as he typed back, **_With you? Always._**

 **AXEL:** **_What if I told you I had something else in mind? ;)_ **

Roxas felt his heart fly to his chest. He didn’t think he could have a better night and now Axel was being all mysterious. **_What do you mean?! What did you do??_ ** his fingers typed as fast as he could make them.

 **AXEL:** **_Something you’ll like. See you soon baby <3_ **

The reply came in fast and left Roxas’ heart beating in his chest. _What had Axel done?_

“Excuse me?” a voice from behind him said. Roxas turned to see a tall man dressed in all black with bright orange hair that stood up on end even more than Axel’s. “Are you Roxas Heart?”

“Yes,” Roxas said slowly, pocketing his phone. “Who wants to know?”

The man chuckled. “Well that’s one way to go about it,” he said, holding out three lanyards. “Here, these are for your friends.” He pulled a fourth one from around his neck. “And this is for you. You’re going to want to put them on.”

Roxas turned around and beckoned Sora over, passing off the stack of necklaces. Sora quickly looked down at one. “Oh my god. These say VIP. _Are we VIP?”_ his eyes practically glowed with excitement as he asked in a low, amazed voice to no one in particular.

The guy with orange hair laughed. "Today you are."

“Is this because Kairi got brought up on stage?” Riku asked, putting his lanyard on. Roxas noticed Kairi was already wearing hers.

The guy with the orange hair shook his head. A radio on his hip crackled, and his face changed to a more serious expression. “Follow me,” he said, beckoning them to fall in step behind him. Roxas felt his heart rate speed up with every step. _What was happening? Why were they VIP? Were they really going backstage?_

 _Oh my god, oh my god,_ Roxas’ mind borrowed Sora’s mantra as they made their way back towards the backstage area. People were scrambling around still completing various tasks to close the show, but the guy with the orange hair breezed past all of them, leading a stunned Roxas and crew into a lounge room with a few other people already inside. There were some couches set up in a semicircle as well as a couple high tables. An acoustic guitar sat at the front of the room next to a keyboard.

Roxas looked around, amazed and confused as the guy ushered them onto a couch. Roxas let Sora, Riku and Kairi slip by him to take a seat, but not before he noticed them looking at him with some reverence. But he hadn’t _done_ anything. Not yet. He turned to the guy who was picking up his radio. 

“Leading the last in now. Over.” The report was brief and Roxas had a bewildering moment when he realized the guy was talking about _them._

"Uh,” Roxas started, startled. “I don’t know how to thank you for this.”

“Then don’t.” The guy smiled.

“What’s your name?” Roxas asked. “Sorry I didn’t catch it earlier.”

“I didn’t give it,” the guy said, returning his radio to his hip before holding out his hand. “Reno.”

“Roxas,” Roxas said, shaking his hand. He had a firm grip and the guy's hand was warm. “But you knew that already.”

Reno nodded and withdrew his hand. “Don’t worry, I’m not stalking you.”

“Exactly what a stalker would say.” The words were out of Roxas’ mouth before he could stop them. Luckily Reno smiled.

“Let’s just say we have a friend in common,” Reno said, “and any friend of his is automatically a friend of mine.” Roxas wanted to ask more questions but at that moment a call came over the radio, and Reno stepped away. “Have fun,” he said before turning and heading out of the room.

Roxas sat down in a daze.

“Oh my god, Roxas!” Sora grabbed his arm. “Do you know who that is?”

“He said his name was Reno.”

Sora beamed. “He’s the manager of Jars of Flame.”

“No!” Roxas gasped, throwing his hand over his mouth in disbelief.

“Yup!” Sora said. “I just looked it up on my phone to reconfirm, but that’s him alright. He comes up every now and again on fan boards. They say that he’s the one that introduced Gaia and Prism to Vortex. Oddly enough, he still does all of Vortex's press appearances. He did a lot to help put them on the map.”

“What’s happening?” Kairi said, looking over Riku and Sora, her expression excited and shocked on her face. “First I get pulled up on a stage and now this?”

"Maybe it's an aftershow? But I didn't think they did those," Riku offered

 _A secret aftershow._ The thought hit Roxas like a train on a track and flooded his veins with excitement. _How was this happening?_ Amazement and happiness bubbled up inside him with such force that Roxas felt like he might lose it before Jars of Flame even played one more note.

“Fancy seeing you here, Bright Eyes.” 

_No way._ Roxas looked up at the voice of the last person he expected to hear, and took in the familiar bright green eyes that were shining down on him before they slid into the seat beside him. “Good surprise?”

Roxas gaped like a fish. “What are you doing here?” he asked, speechless.

“What?” Axel laughed. “No ‘hi, how are you? This is the greatest surprise ever! Thank you to the best boyfriend in the world for-’”

“All those things!” Roxas interrupted, kissing him soundly on the lips in a daze. “All those things and more! Did you know Kairi was going to get pulled up on stage?”

“Kairi got pulled up on stage?!” Axel looked genuinely shocked, his eyes going wide as he looked down at the other end of the couch.

“Axel? What are you doing here?” Sora asked the same question Roxas had moments before with just as much surprise. 

“Surprising you,” Axel replied, wrapping his arm around Roxas' shoulders as he looked past him to where Sora sat.

“We’re surprised,” Roxas muttered in disbelief, trying to remember to breathe as Jars of Flame took the stage. Chords from the acoustic guitar filled the air calling Roxas’ attention to the front.

“Welcome to the aftershow,” Gaia’s voice rang out, as he walked up to the mic. “Or as we like to call it, Acoustic Bottles of Flame. We ask for no recording, but pictures are fair game.” He smiled at the small audience and casually waved behind him at Prism and Vortex. Vortex held a set of bongo drums in between his knees and started to tap out a beat that quickly became recognizable as an acoustic version of their song _Stardust._

They flowed from one song into another - a couple of the ones they had done on stage, but others were completely random from their repertoire. The atmosphere was much more relaxed. At one point, Vortex even shifted his mask to the side, revealing part of his face. It felt less like a set list and more just a jam session as they played through six songs, wrapping up with _Rain on Me._

Roxas felt like he’d died and gone to heaven. The music was like a balm to his rough edges. While it played he felt captivated and transported to another world. One where nothing could hurt him, and he found he was _happy._

He let the feeling wash over him, squeezing Axel's hand throughout. It was more than he’d ever thought he’d be able to feel ever again and it was more than enough.

* * *

The entire night felt surreal as Roxas watched Sora, Riku and Kairi approach the stage, chatting with the band and asking for autographs and selfies. He’d spent the majority of the concert staring at Vortex playing the bongo set and now that he came forward Roxas found his bright purple hair and facial scarring mesmerizing more than distracting. The online boards were right - those were definitely fire burns. But there was still something about him...

He turned to ask Axel what he thought but noticed he was off to the side of the room, talking to the man with bright orange hair. Roxas made his way over and slipped his arm around Axel’s waist. His boyfriend caught him playfully and swung his arm across his shoulders. 

“Speak of the Cinnabon,” Axel said, the corner of his lips turning up into a soft smile, “Roxas meet Reno. I’d say Reno meet Roxas but I think that kind of already happened.”

“Nice to meet you,” Roxas said, holding out his hand. “Er- formally.”

Reno let out a small laugh. 

“Reno’s my brother. And Vortex’s step brother. And the manager of, well, _the band.”_ Axel added emphasis on the words but he didn’t need to. Roxas felt his stomach do a swoop. “Never thought he’d amount to much but there you go,” he teased his brother.

Reno playfully rolled his eyes. “How’d you come to tame this one?” he asked Roxas directly. 

“Just got lucky, I guess,” Roxas replied, his voice light even as lava churned in his stomach, hot and molten. 

“Axel can be a bit of a handful,” Reno continued like Roxas hadn’t said a word. 

“Nothing I can’t handle,” Roxas fired back, immediately feeling defensive as the lava rolled. 

Reno smiled. “Oh, I think I’m going to like you. An especially good thing if you’re my future brother-in-law. Did you meet the band yet?”

 _Future brother-in-law?_ Roxas’ brain mentally stalled for a moment before he remembered Reno was waiting for him to respond. He shook his head mutely, as Reno nodded over to where the band was still chatting with Sora, Riku and Kairi. “Let me introduce you,” he said, pulling Roxas along up towards the makeshift stage. Roxas thought his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He looked down and grabbed Axel's hand for support who squeezed back. 

“Reno!” Gaia announced loudly with a big grin as they got closer. “And friends.”

“You remember my brother Axel? And this is his boyfriend.”

Roxas stepped forward slightly. “Big fan, Mister Gaia, sir. Or should I just call you Gaia?”

Gaia smiled. “Gaia is fine. Mister Gaia sounds all stuffy, like my father or something.”

“Lord knows we can’t have that!” Vortex laughed melodically beside him before holding out his hand. He grinned, making the scars on his face crinkle up, and something about it was oddly familiar to Roxas. “Vortex. If you are looking to have a chat, Prism is the chatty one. She's over there with that girl, Kairi - it's rare she gets to sing for the same person twice, so I guess she's taking full advantage.” 

“It was amazingly cool when you brought her up on stage,” Roxas agreed. “We were not expecting that. I’m Roxas by the way,” he said, holding out his hand to Vortex who looked like he’d suddenly been hit with an electric shock. 

“Roxas,” he repeated slowly, taking his hand and shaking once. “Roxas Heart?”

Roxas nodded, lowering his hand awkwardly by his side. 

“I, uh- shit!” Vortex said, removing his mask completely and looking directly at Roxas. He stood still for a moment, clearly waiting for something. “You don’t remember me, do you?” There was a flicker in Vortex’s eyes. “Or maybe you don’t recognize me.” 

_What?_ Roxas tried to do a quick calculation and felt overwhelmed. _Had he missed something?_

“I thought maybe you didn’t want me reaching out to you randomly after years of no contact...” Vortex let his voice trail off but something begged at the edges of Roxas’ consciousness. “Especially when I didn’t hear from you back when we were kids,” he continued but took a step back like he’d said too much. To counter it Roxas stepped forward, feeling clammy as his stomach rolled. “I tried to find you for a while a few years back. It looked like you were starting a business. Not to be too creepy about it, but do you know Ansem? He was one of our first major backers. He said he was interested in this little start-up called KeyChat. Met with one of the owners once. Hayner Parker? He was shocked to hear of his passing only like a day afterwards. I still remember how sad he'd been when he announced the news."

Roxas blinked back what felt like tears. "Hayner wasn't just a business partner. He was my boyfriend." He wasn't sure why he felt the need to open up to Vortex, but it felt right.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, cuz."

His breath hitched. He hadn't heard that name in a long, long time. It all crashed over him like a hurricane, mixing and swirling around him in an endless, well, _Vortex._

 _“Ven?”_ he asked so softly he almost couldn’t hear his own voice. He didn’t believe the word had left his mouth. _“Fuck,”_ he breathed softly, looking beyond the scarring, hair dye, and the contacts that he now realized Ven was wearing, and seeing his cousin and only childhood friend for the first time in years. Ven was right - he hadn’t recognized him. The burns had distorted his features and what was left over he’d altered with dyes and contacts. 

Roxas’ eyes stung with tears he refused to let fall, even when Ven took a step closer towards him. “I asked my parents where you were. I didn’t just- stop contacting you,” Roxas wheezed out, feeling like all the air had suddenly left the room. “And I never got any letters or calls from you, so I figured you didn’t-” he cut himself off realizing the magnitude of what his parents had hidden from him. All because they had thought that he and Ven were ‘too close.’ He felt a wave of nausea and then relief that they weren’t really on speaking terms anymore. “I just thought you moved on. Forgot about me.”

“We both moved on, but I never forgot about you,” Ven said, stepping closer. Gaia tried to follow but Ven waved him off as he pulled Roxas over to the side to give them both a little more space. “I loved you like a brother. More than a brother. And you were my best friend. I would have never have just left.” Ven paused, running his fingers through his hair. “And then after the fire I lost so much and I didn’t have any way of knowing where you were or how to get in contact with you then.” Ventus looked lost for a second, like he didn’t know where to start or how to talk about this. “Least not until Ansem mentioned KeyChat and I recognized your name, and-”

Roxas felt something wash over him. Hope he thought, feeling the strange emotion build in his veins as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Ventus, holding him close. It was like hugging air and yet it was also like returning somewhere after a long journey - the familiarity was dulled by the changes that time had wrought. 

“You and I are long overdue for a chat,” Roxas said, stepping back. 

“Yes, yes we are,” Ventus confirmed looking his cousin up and down. 

“And we will,” Roxas confirmed emphatically, handing over his phone. “Save your number. I promise you, once I have a way to contact you I won’t disappear.” Ven took his phone as Roxas glanced over at Axel out the corner of his eye, remembering the last time someone had put their number in his phone. He was still feeling like he was living in an elaborate dream, but he didn’t want to pinch himself to wake up. “We have a lot to catch up on.”

“Yes, yes we do,” Ventus agreed, handing him back his phone. “I hope you don’t mind, but I texted myself so I have your number too.”

“Not a problem,” Roxas said as he nodded, almost not trusting his voice at that moment. He swallowed. “I can’t believe it’s you,” he said amazed under his breath. 

Ven laughed, soft and reassuring. “That makes two of us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jars of FLAMMMMMMME!  
> 🔥🔥🔥 
> 
> Remember when we lived in a world where concerts were a thing? Until we can safely return to those times I hope this helped to fill the void. The song titles may hold canon ties but the lyrics are all my own 🎵 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are like cheers at a sold out show 💚  
> I love you all!
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/)


	18. Roxas' finest hour

**Chapter 18 - Roxas' finest hour**

Roxas pushed Axel down on the couch the minute they arrived back at Roxas’ place after the concert, kissing him soundly. He felt like he was walking on air, even as the kisses ignited the inferno inside him, his cock hard against Axel’s stomach. They leaned into each other, stealing all the air from the room and locking them together in blissful fireworks.

Roxas couldn't think of a more perfect way to end the night.

“I can’t believe,” he said between kisses, “that you know”—he licked Axel’s neck—“Jars of Flame.” He pulled off his shirt and tossed it to the side while rapidly grinding his hips into Axel, his cock hungry with need, his mind on fire with excitement and energy.

“If things had been different, if I had stayed with my brother and never gotten into dealing, I probably could have been in the band,” Axel admitted softly. He reached up to stroke Roxas' face, slowing things down while he caressed his cheek. Roxas leaned into the touch and closed his eyes, enjoying the soft contact for a moment and allowing the warmth from Axel’s hand to spread all the way down to his toes. In that moment he knew with certainty that he was right where he was supposed to be.

They both were.

“Yeah,” Roxas said, leaning down to kiss Axel before pulling back and whispering against his lips, “but then you wouldn’t be with me here right now. And there’s nowhere else in the universe I would rather be.”

Green eyes brightened with hunger. “Can I fuck you?” Axel asked, wrapping his arms around Roxas and stroking slowly up his spine.

“You can do anything you want to me,” Roxas said, meaning every word, “but I probably won’t last very long.”

“That eager, huh?” Axel asked, teasing Roxas by gently pressing on his cock through his pants.

Roxas groaned.

“Let’s get these off you, shall we?” Axel said, his voice husky with desire as he undid the top button of Roxas’ pants before expertly maneuvering him to make quick work of removing them. They joined his shirt on the floor.

“What about you?” Roxas gasped once he was naked, his cock weeping and hard against his stomach.

Axel didn’t answer. Instead he pushed himself off the couch, head now between Roxas’ knees, lavishing his thighs with kisses, bites and licks. _Fucking hot,_ repeated over and over in Roxas’ head. In the midst of it all, Roxas noticed that Axel had lowered his own pants, which now pooled around his knees and his cock stood at attention with the same raw need as Roxas’. The sight tore a moan out of him which only got louder as Axel lowered his lips to take Roxas into his mouth, swallowing his length in one go. 

Roxas bucked up uncontrollably into the heat of Axel's mouth. His inner mantra of _Fucking hot_ took on another meaning as Axel held him completely inside while his hands roamed his backside.

He wouldn’t last long like this, and yet he wanted to stay in this wonderful bliss forever as Axel licked and teased him, circling his hole with a finger, teasing his arse at the same time as his cock, before pushing the digit in.

Roxas gasped and lifted his hips off the couch. _When had Axel gotten lube?_ he wondered as a long finger slid in and out of his hole with little friction. The world narrowed into this moment, green eyes looking up at Roxas as he sucked and fucked him on his finger. Roxas felt it pass over that spot inside him and his cock jumped as more precum spilled down Axel’s throat. Soon Axel added a second finger, scissoring slowly, expertly teasing as he opened Roxas up.

“C’mon, baby. Fill me. I need you.” Roxas could hear the desperation in his voice as Axel took some final sucks, lavishing his cock one final time. He lifted his head and licked up Roxas’ torso, circling his tongue around each nipple in turn, causing Roxas to arch up off the pillows and moan.

“That’s it, babe,” Axel said before he picked up Roxas and put him on his lap. Bending his knees up so he wouldn’t fall off the couch, Axel kissed down his neck as he moved beneath him. Satisfied, his fingers came to circle Roxas' hole again.

“Ah, you’re teasing,” Roxas moaned, practically begging for it. It wasn’t often Roxas craved to be the bottom but right now, in this moment, Axel was making him need it as vitally as he needed the hot blood that ran through his veins. 

Roxas reached his hand down to stroke Axel, his hand feeling the soft skin and hard steel of his boyfriend’s length. With his hand at the base, he surrendered to Axel’s guiding hands which moved him into position before pulling him down, slowly stretching and filling him. He welcomed the burn as his ass devoured the cock beneath him until he was sitting on Axel’s lap, feeling the thick cock deep inside him. He was gathered up by Axel’s long arms, which snaked under his knees and around his back, holding him tightly as Axel began fucking his ass hard from his position under him.

Roxas moved with the motion, his own cock straining for release, his balls tightening up as Axel hit his prostate perfectly each time, almost with a practiced ease. Roxas let out a long moan - the noise escaping his lips involuntarily and filling the room just as Axel stretched him wide open, filling him up. 

“Yes,” Axel moaned into his ear, “just like that. Let me hear you.” 

He fucked Roxas’ ass harder and Roxas felt his balls tighten with the threat of release. "I'm going to cum," he cried, but he was already barreling over the edge. "I'm cumming!"

“Good,” Axel teased, licking his ear and Roxas melted. “Cum for me. Cum for me so hard.”

And Roxas let go, spilling himself onto his stomach as his ass clenched. Axel hit his prostate one final time before spilling his own seed deep inside Roxas, filling him up with white, hot cum. Roxas smiled happily as he leaned into Axel. 

Axel turned his head and kissed him soundly, passionately, his green eyes looking at him with adoration and love that spoke volumes. Roxas knew he had to have the same look on his own face. 

“Fuck, baby. You’re amazing,” Axel complimented as Roxas felt all his bones go limp. He leaned forward and kissed the redhead. 

“You forgot something,” Roxas teased, pressing himself up to all fours, his ass now in the air, their mixed cum now leaking down his thighs as he looked deep into Axel’s eyes. 

“Did I?” Axel grinned as Roxas kissed him again.

“Mhm,” he said, when he came up for air. 

“And what might that be?” Axel teased, running his hand through Roxas’ blond locks, his other slapping his ass playfully which caused Roxas to laugh. 

“You’re ruining the moment,” Roxas grinned, feeling giddy happiness bubbling up inside him all the same. 

“Not possible,” Axel said seriously. “Fucking perfect in bed, fucking amazing in my arms, and I never want to let you go.”

“Good thing you don’t have to,” Roxas said, taking in Axel’s kissable lips before placing his there once more. He couldn’t get enough of the fiery kisses that sent sparks flying within him. “I love you,” he whispered when he pulled back. Light as air, almost unheard, he breathed deeply and found he felt content with the words. He meant them. Axel stared up at him, green eyes and purple tattoos and gloriously shagged lips, and Roxas found the courage in him to say it again. 

“I love you, Axel,” he repeated, this time a little louder. _To make them known. To make them real._

Axel’s eyes widened as he took Roxas’ hand in his own. Roxas wasn’t sure what he was thinking or if he would say it back but he found himself knowing without a doubt that it was the truth. Axel made everything in his life better. 

“Oh Roxas,” Axel said looking into his eyes. “Say it again.” 

“I love you, Axel,” he repeated, slightly louder with more confidence. He felt a torrent of fire rise up in his chest.

Axel shook his head. In fact his whole body was trembling beneath Roxas. “No,” he said softly. “Say it with my real name.”

“Your real name?” Roxas breathed, slightly confused. 

“Lea. My name. I mean. That was my name. Before I changed it.”

“Lea,” Roxas said, trying out the name on his tongue. It rolled off smoothly and felt as easy as saying Axel. It felt right. “I love you, Lea.”

Silence filled the air for a moment. Roxas bit his lip as green eyes swept over him, intense and burning from within, as the moment was absorbed. 

“I love you, Roxas Heart,” Axel said seriously, breaking the silence as his finger traced down the side of Roxas’ face. Roxas felt life he could barely breathe. “So much. I’ll give you everything I have and everything I am.”

Roxas leaned forward and pressed their bodies together, clinging tightly in a hug. “Mine,” he whispered, feeling vulnerable and _alive._

“Yours,” Axel confirmed kissing the top of his head and hugging him back tighter. 

* * *

Roxas immediately regretted setting his interview for the day after the concert. He’d felt exhausted and worn out in a way that felt invigorating, even as he wanted nothing more than to sink into his bed with Axel and never move again. He was so tired that he actually wanted his bed, craved the supportive mattress over that of the couch cushions. 

Roxas almost couldn’t believe it.

But even more than that, Roxas felt even more conflicted than before - if that was even possible. But after seeing Ven again his mind was swimming with possibilities. _What if he revived KeyChat? Did he want to? Would it be betraying Hayner or honoring him?_

The thoughts played through his mind as he sat in front of Demyx, Larxene, and an intimidating guy named Xemnas - a Regional Director that Roxas had never met before. They asked him questions like, “What are your strengths and weaknesses?” “What do you think you can contribute to the store that’s unique from the other applicants?” and “What is your favorite part about working here?”

Roxas did his best to answer everything calmly, but by the time they got to “Why do you want this position?” Roxas wanted to stand up and yell that _he didn’t._

He knew better than to do that however. He made up some bullshit answer and looked Larxene in the eye the entire time, even when he just wanted to yell at her and sod the entire discussion. He didn’t know how he managed - maybe Hayner’s diplomacy tactics had rubbed off on him after all.

“Well, thank you Roxas,” Xemnas said as they stood up to say their good-byes, signaling the interview’s end. “We will review this and will be in touch if we’d like to invite you for a second interview. However we choose to proceed.”

Roxas nodded. He expected there would be another round, but something about that dismissal did not sound terribly promising to him. _What do you care?_ He thought, _Five seconds ago you didn't even want the job._ He couldn’t even dispute the voice in his own head.

In the end he shook hands with them all, before heading to his locker to retrieve his things. He technically wasn’t on the clock but he felt better with his stuff locked up - his phone where he couldn’t reach it and it couldn’t go off during the interview. Pulling it out he saw he had several notifications:

**AXEL - 2 Text Messages.**

**Ven-tex Heart - 1 Text Message.**

Roxas felt his heart speed up as he clicked open his phone. He hadn’t realized Ven had combined his name in his phone and his stomach did a funny flip at the sight. He couldn’t believe Vortex, who was _Ven,_ was messaging him at all. And messaging him first - before Roxas had the chance to. He flipped opened his message first.

 **Ven-tex Heart:** **_Hi. It really was good to see you again last night. Do you think we could grab dinner before we head to the next city? I’m free tonight if you are. Or tomorrow for breakfast? We’re set to leave tomorrow afternoon. Let me know._ **

Roxas stared at his phone, processing for a moment, before typing in, **_I would love to catch up over dinner._** He read it over, feeling unsatisfied, before he deleted it and retyped, **_Yes, let’s meet up over dinner. Let me know when and where?_** He stared at it for a long moment before hitting send and opening up Axel’s texts. 

**AXEL:** **_Sending you all the luck baby <3 you’re going to kill it today!_ **

Roxas felt a small smile creep across his face. 

**AXEL:** **_Come by afterwards and we’ll celebrate?_ **

**_You just want a distraction from Tutor-Schemer_ ** _,_ Roxas teased in his first text before he sent a heart. Axel replied immediately. 

**AXEL:** **_You’re completely right. The test isn’t for another month. We have for.ever._ **

Roxas couldn’t help it, he chuckled out loud. **_It’s not as bad as all that._ ** He typed, **_Plus it will be here before you know it. I know you can study and pass it. I have reward incentives._ **

**AXEL:** **_Reward incentives? You have my attention._ **

Roxas realized he couldn’t stop smiling, and on top of that his mind had gone silent with all the job drama and questions of next steps in his life. It felt good. He got set to type something back when a voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Is that Axel?”

Roxas looked up and narrowed his eyes. “Don’t you have other interviewees?” he hissed at Larxene.

“So he told you.” It wasn’t a question and she didn’t blink.

Roxas nodded. There was no use pretending he didn’t know what she was talking about. He wouldn’t forget Axel’s story or forgive her anytime soon. Yeah, he had to be civil to work with here, and if Axel could manage it so could he, but he didn’t have to _like_ her.

“Did he tell you I was framed?” 

Roxas felt off balance. There was no way he was going to believe that, but it did take the wind out of his sails. “Why would I believe that?” he asked.

“You don’t have to,” Larxene said, her voice never wavering. “But it’s the truth.”

Roxas grabbed his bag, suddenly intent to get out of there as fast as possible before she could say anything more. “Well, I’m glad you came through with the _truth,”_ he hissed, feeling his insides crawl with burnt embers. 

Larxene held up her hand to stop him. “I have nothing I can do besides stand here and proclaim my innocence. We do run background checks on all employees and I’m not in Witness Protection because the person who really talked _is.”_ Her voice finally hitched here, like she was really feeling something in her words. Roxas didn’t want to be played a fool though. 

“Thank you for the interview,” he said as cooly and professionally as he could. “Now if you’ll excuse me,” he said, pressing past her, feeling his conflict and upset rise up again. 

“Please,” Larxene’s voice came from behind him. “You don’t have to believe me, and Axel and I do have a history, but I never would have done something to get him sent to prison.”

“He wasn’t sent to prison,” Roxas said with confidence. He knew that because Axel had told him late one night when he’d asked - instead he’d served hours of community service and paid a not insignificant fine. He noticed Larxene’s face change with his declaration though.

“Well, that’s. That’s good.” She said.

Roxas laughed darkly. “If you didn’t even know how things ended-”

“Because it wasn’t me who caused the incident,” she said, her voice strained. But she was still maintaining her innocence. 

Roxas felt bile rise up in his throat. Even if she somehow _wasn’t_ the direct cause, she did no favors for Axel. _How are we_ _supposed to work together?_ he wondered for the tenth time in the same hour. “Whatever,” he said, his mind spinning. “I’ll see you for the next interview. Or my next shift. Whichever comes first. Assuming you don’t want to turn me out.”

“What?” Larxene looked genuinely confused now. “I came out to tell you all this because we need to figure out how to work together. I’m not firing you.”

 _Then does that mean that I already have the job?_ Roxas wondered as he shook his head. He didn’t voice it out loud. “Thanks,” he said pathetically. “I have to get going. Maybe we can continue this conversation another time.”

He didn’t wait for her response before he headed out of the backroom. She didn’t follow him. 

By the time Roxas got to Axel’s, Ven had texted him back confirming a time and place for dinner. Roxas pocketed his phone as he rapped on the door, feeling anxious and excited all at once.

The door swung open. “There’s my Cinnamon Roll!” Axel announced with a huge smile on his face before turning to speak over his shoulder. “See? I told you he was coming.”

“I never said that I didn’t believe you. I only wanted you to solve the final six questions first,” Zexion said and he approached the door and Roxas moved inside. “Hi, Roxas. Good to see you again.”

“Hey, Zexion,” Roxas said, as he bit his lip. He didn’t want to mention seeing Demyx or his interview. His head was still spinning. He wondered what Zexion knew about it. He was dying to ask Axel if he knew that Larxene said she was framed. His stomach burned and his chest tightened when he thought about the indecision around his career and the job. _It shouldn’t cause this much anxiety,_ he scolded himself as he tried to stop himself from thinking about it or he would go down a rabbit hole - and he’d rather avoid it all for the moment if he could. “Studying going well then?”

“As well as it can.” Zexion answered practically.

“Ugh!” Axel grabbed his heart in mock-attack, “you wound me! I’m a model student.”

The expression on Axel’s face was so precious Roxas couldn’t help but giggle. 

“And my boyfriend takes your side,” Axel whined, his tone over the top and teasing. “I’m all alone-”

“Oh babe,” Roxas said, pressing himself up on hip tip-toes to kiss Axel on the cheek, “You know I’m always on your side.”

Axel gave him a smile that caused all the sparks in his belly to ignite all at once. “Well, if you’re on my side, then it’s two against one. No more studying for today, Tutor-Schemer. We’re off to do far more fun things.”

“Just remember the walls are thin,” Zexion warned, and Roxas blushed. “On second thought maybe I’ll go to the cafe down the street until Demyx gets off work.”

“Not a bad idea,” Axel praised, not blushing in the least, even as Roxas’ cheeks felt like they were on fire. “Bring me back a coffee. Want anything, sweet cheeks? Schemer is running to the cafe.”

“I don’t think-” Roxas began as Axel pulled out some munny and handed it over to Zexion.

“I want you two to know,” Zexion said, taking the cash, “that I do this only to feed my own caffeine addiction.”

“Whatever you say,” Axel said, “as long as I end up with a white chocolate mocha. What do you want, bright eyes?”

“White chocolate mocha?” Zexion asked, just as Roxas said, “I’ll have the same with a shot of cinnamon.”

“You two really are perfect for each other,” Zexion lamented with a smile, “Both have such a sweet tooth.” Through the teasing Roxas could tell really he didn’t mind very much, as he shrugged on a jacket and headed out the door. 

“I thought he’d never leave,” Axel said with a grin as he shut the door. “How did it go?”

“Not bad,” Roxas said, his voice sounded slightly tight, even to him. 

“We’ve both had long days and it’s not even two in the afternoon. Plus the late night,” Axel said, like Roxas had told him everything. “Which sounds better, video games or a movie?”

“Kisses first?” Roxas asked, leaning into Axel’s touch, pressing their lips together. The kiss was light, but it didn’t fail to ignite the fire inside him before he pulled away and wrapped his arms around Axel pulling him into a tight hug. Axel raised his hand to play with Roxas’ hair, the smell of Axel surrounding him, his chest feeling full as he melted into the embrace. 

When they finally pulled away and moved into Axel’s bedroom, they cuddled on the bed and Axel put an anime on TV. They laid there for a while, just enjoying being in each other's arms. Roxas didn’t really follow the show, instead he fought between staying awake, and deciding how to breach the subject about what Larxene said. He must have worked himself into something of state because before the episode was over, Axel paused the screen.

“Hey babe, what’s up?” he asked, his green eyes looking into Roxas’ with concern. “Did the interview not go well?”

“No,” Roxas answered with a sigh. “The interview went well. Or fine. Or as fine as it could.” He still didn’t know what he wanted to do about KeyChat but that wasn’t the first thing on his mind at the moment. “But afterwards, Larxene-”

Axel’s eyes narrowed. “What did she do?” he interrupted.

“Nothing!” Roxas said, surprising himself in defending her for a split second. “Well nothing in the moment. But after the interview she tried to talk to me. Something about wanting to bury the hatchet.” He gazed up at Axel’s face, which looked troubled. Roxas wanted to take that away but he also knew he had to be honest.

“What did she say?” 

“She said that she was framed.”

Axel groaned and ran his hands through his hands before covering his face. “She’s still telling that story then?”

“Was she framed?” Roxas asked slowly, cautiously.

“Everyone I knew from that life, those I would consider friends, would say that’s her brilliant lie,” Axel said with a sigh. “Her way of getting out of trouble. The reason she was never charged, or caught, or taken into Witness Protection, or whatever they do with liars and betrayers.”

“And you were charged with community service, right?” Roxas asked very softly, feeling very protective of the man beside him.

“Plus a fine. Which ended up being, well, not too bad. Well, the community service part. The money part...” Axel’s voice trailed with a sigh. “I was upfront with all that. The point isn’t-”

“Yeah,” Roxas agreed, rolling over to wrap his arms around his boyfriend and hold him close. “I believe you. I don’t know what’s going on as she sees things, but I do believe you.”

“It sounds like, in her own strange way, that she wants to be able to work with you though,” Axel said after a while, his voice sounding very mature about the entire situation. “Do you think that means they want to give you the job?”

The butterflies in Roxas’ stomach took flight at that. “I hadn’t wanted to think of it like that,” he admitted, “I’ve been rejecting the idea in my head, but that’s probably what it is, isn’t it?” He blinked, looking into Axel’s eyes, getting lost in their deep green pools.

“You know something, sweet cheeks?” Axel said, looking up into Roxas’ eyes like he had a secret to share. “You don’t have to take the job. Even if they offer it. I’ll support you either way. There will always be other opportunities.” He paused himself, looking up at Roxas. “Or you could go back to your old business. I’m not the one to talk about this with. Xion would know more than me. Because the two of you do all these things legally and not follow any of my past mistakes. My own regrets. But-”

“Those are behind you!” Roxas jumped in, feeling the need to defend Axel.

“Exactly. _We_ are moving forward.”

Roxas smiled. Looking into Axel’s eyes, he reached out to trace the purple tattoos with his fingers. Axel leaned into the touch, and his eyes fluttered shut. “Do you know why I got these tats?”

Roxas shook his head, but then realizing Axel couldn’t see him with his eyes closed, he whispered, “You never mentioned.”

“After my dad,” Axel paused. Roxas watched as he swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing, before he opened his eyes, and looked down at Roxas. He smiled, though it looked a little sad. “After my dad did what he did, and then everything with the gang, I wanted something to remind me that I was stronger than my past. A reminder to move forward, that I didn’t need the old tears anymore.”

Roxas traced the shapes with reverence and he took that in, before he leaned in and gently pressed a kiss to each one. “They’re beautiful,” he said, pulling back.

“Just like you,” Axel said, and Roxas felt everything inside him explode with hope and light. “Just like your future.”

“Just like _our_ future,” Roxas corrected, without thinking about it, but it didn’t matter. Axel pulled him into his arms and kissed him senseless. There wasn’t much talking after that.

* * *

Hours later, Roxas was feeling a little anxious as he pulled on his jacket. It was his slightly nicer one he’d worn to his interview, which suddenly felt like it had happened weeks before and not that morning.

“If you’re feeling anxious, do you want me to go with you?” Axel offered, wrapping him up in a hug.

“No,” Roxas said plainly, “this is something I need to do myself.”

“Well text me if you need _anything,”_ Axel said, kissing the top of his head. “Or on second thought just text me pictures of your food so I can live vicariously.”

Roxas let out a small laugh, leaning up to kiss him. 

By the time Roxas arrived, Ven was already waiting for him in the backroom of the restaurant the rockstar picked. _The Bistro_ was on the fancier side and not a place Roxas had ever frequented, though it had made a bunch of buzz when it had opened. Roxas couldn’t remember much of why, but he did know the chef was world-famous. Hayner had promised they would go there for something celebratory but that day had never come. 

“Roxas!” Ven said happily when he’d turned the corner, and involuntarily Roxas felt a small smile spring to his lips. 

At first the conversation had been a little stifled as they slowly warmed up to each other. Roxas was surprised, at first, that they didn’t fall into old patterns easily or immediately. But by the time the french onion soup was consumed and a heaping plate of fresh pasta alfredo was set in front of him, Roxas felt more centered and the conversation flowed a lot more easily. As they moved into deeper conversation, Roxas felt like he was gaining his oldest friend back. It was different to Pence and Olette. Ven had been his first and only friend for so long-

“Roxas?” Ven’s voice cut through his thoughts. “You still with me?”

“Yeah,” Roxas replied, spiraling some pasta on his fork. “Your parents adopted Reno when you were in high school, and he introduced you to Gaia and Prism-”

“You can call them Terra and Aqua you know,” Ven said, almost shyly, the lines on his face from the burns betraying nothing on his face, however. “Just so long as you don’t leak it to the press or on fan boards.”

“I would never do that,” Roxas said seriously.

“I know. But I am trusting you,” he paused looking up over his food, “and I might have Reno send you an NDA anyway.”

“You can trust me.”

“I just can’t believe you vanished,” Ven continued. “Well I know it wasn’t you _now,_ but still.”

“Yeah,” Roxas sighed looking down into his lap. “Trust me, I know.” He felt the familiar resentment for his parents build in his gut. “They never really have accepted me anyway. Not really.”

Ven raised his eyebrows so high that Roxas could tell even through the burn scars. It reminded him of the silly faces Ven used to make when they were kids.

“Yeah,” he said again, pushing some of the noodles around on his plate absentmindedly, suddenly feeling less hungry. He took a deep breath. “Remember when you mentioned Hay- Hayner Parker last night?”

“Of course, not something I could forget.”

“Right.” Roxas swallowed. “Well, he was a huge part of my life. For a long time. After we lost touch.” 

“Do you want to tell me?” Ven asked in a way that reminded Roxas of when they were kids, playing on the playground and hiding in the nearby trees, sometimes talking about things, other times just being with each other’s company. Roxas watched Ven’s face and it dawned on him suddenly that Ven hadn’t worn any coloured contacts tonight - his eyes were his own. It made everything that he was about to say even more important, like he was filling in a long lost best friend about his life.

And honestly, was that not what he was doing?

“Hayner and I were introduced in high school. Before then I didn’t have many friends - save for you. And then, well, you know what happened. And what followed was years of middle school hell.” Now that he had begun, the words seemed to just pour out of him. He told Ven about meeting Pence and then Olette and finally Hayner. He described how he and Hayner had grown together to become more, how they had gotten into college together. He admitted how he was outed to his parents by Hayner’s father when the man had caught the boys in a compromising position. That part of the story had earned him a look of sadness from Ven, but still Roxas kept talking. By the time Roxas got to the part in the story where Hayner was disowned by his family, his eyes were stinging but it also felt really good. To talk. To get it all out. He hoped Ven didn’t mind, but the other man was taking it in like there hadn’t been a day that passed where they hadn’t talked.

_Like they were two friends on the playground still. Even if the problems were more complex and complicated the feeling was the same._

“He, Hayner, wanted to make something of himself. To prove to his family he was more than just - well whatever they thought he was. So when we finished college he started KeyChat. Hay loved everything about building the company, and getting investors, and all the things I sucked at. He would tell me it didn’t matter though, because the things I was good at he couldn’t do.” Roxas let out a dry laugh and rubbed his eyes.

“He sounds pretty amazing,” Ven said, taking the story all in with big eyes. 

“He was pretty amazing,” Roxas agreed leaning back. He let out a long breath. “I was the one who found him in our bathroom.”

Ven’s eyes looked at him, steady and concerned. “Oh, goodness. Roxas, I-” 

Roxas couldn’t detect any pity, not really, but he didn’t want Ven to offer a bunch of apologies and platitudes either that he didn’t want to hear at that exact moment from his cousin and only friend for so long. It felt cathartic to release it all now, and he didn’t want to stop.

“He was, well he left. He left me a note,” Roxas said in a rush, the words not coming out right or fast enough for his liking. It was like ripping off a bandaid, painful but necessary. “And after he died I had to go through his cell phone records. The last call he got was from the hospital. He’d had some tests done. Apparently they weren’t good, but they couldn’t tell me anything when I asked because we weren’t married or related. I only realized then it must have been serious. Still, a part of me wishes we could have had the chance to fight. Together.” Roxas swallowed hard and Ventus watched him, his eyes concerned. 

“Yes, I found out later, that he was sick. It may have been curable, I don’t know, but we’d put every dollar we had, and every cent we didn’t have, into the business. We had nothing left. And his diagnosis - he said it would have bankrupt us of both himself and the business, and he didn’t want to go out like that. In that note. He was always, he’d battled with- I mean. Depression was no stranger to him. I think the diagnosis just triggered its release.”

“I’m so sorry,” Ven said, his voice whisper soft, light as air.

“He,” Roxas paused and looked up at Ven across the table. “I’m sorry. I know that was a lot.”

“But it’s what you’ve been through though,” Ven said, looking down at himself. “And I should have been there for it. To help.”

“Don’t feel guilty,” Roxas said, “that all lies with my parents.”

“But we’re here now, right?” Ven said with a small smile.

“Yeah,” Roxas agreed. “Of course. 

“A story for a story?” Ven asked. 

“Sure.”

“Honestly, I probably wouldn’t be sitting here with you if Terra hadn’t-” He cut himself off scratching at his arm. “The fire. I was home with Mom, I don't know where Dad had got to. He was out somewhere with Reno, who was new to our lives at the time and still very much adjusting to being with us. It was very much before he was officially adopted, but I digress.” Ven paused here to catch his breath before launching back into the story. “They say that the fire started by rats who chewed the wiring, but regardless, I was trapped in my bedroom. The door was shut and it had already come up through the walls. It spread really fast. I still have nightmares about it.”

Roxas nodded.

“A fireman found me. My mom had made it out and she told them I was still inside. I didn’t know that of course. Most of what I remember is coughing and trying to find air, and then the next thing I knew was pain when the ceiling fell on top of me. Or part of the ceiling. I was ready to be burned alive when they pulled me through the smoke and flames.” Ven leaned forward towards Roxas slightly over the table. “Just that. Afterwards, I never really healed right. And I hated myself for a long time. The way I looked. But after the fire, Terra was there for me in a way no one else was. No one else could be. But if he _hadn’t_ been there…” Ven’s voice trailed off and Roxas watched a shudder roll through his body.

“Don’t worry,” Roxas reassured, “your secrets are all safe with me. Nothing leaves this table.”

“I really should have you sign that NDA.” 

“You can,” Roxas replied with a shrug. “I’ll give you my email.

“Speaking of,” Ven said, looking like he didn’t want to press so he shut his mouth.

“Spill,” Roxas ordered, taking a long sip of water.

“Well, do you think you’d ever restart KeyChat? Maybe in Hayner’s memory?”

Roxas drew in a breath.

“Because I think, actually I _know,_ that Ansem would still be interested in investing.”

Roxas felt like he couldn’t breathe a moment.

“Nothing has to be decided at this moment, of course,” Ven said, “but we are in touch now. You have my number.”

Roxas nodded, his mind running off with possibilities. Even as they moved onto different topics - more fun ones as Ven shared behind the scenes stories from his tours and Roxas reciprocated with stories of his own - Roxas couldn’t shake his mind off the possibility that maybe restarting KeyChat wasn’t the devastating concept that he once found it to be. 

In fact, he decided by the time he was presented with a large slice of triple chocolate mousse cake, maybe it would actually be a fitting tribute to the man he loved and lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have made it! The beginning of the end. It's bittersweet that there's only one more chapter to go. 
> 
> Your feedback, Comments and Kudos have meant the world to me throughout this process. You guys are the best! Thank you from the bottom of my KH-loving heart. ♥️ 
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/)


	19. Epilogue

**Chapter 19 - Epilogue**

Roxas cringed as the storage unit door creaked open. Everything was still as he’d left it nearly one year ago - boxes piled high, some even labeled in Hayner’s handwriting. He took a deep breath. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Axel asked, squeezing his hand. “We can bail and get ice cream instead if you want.”

Roxas gave a weak smile. “I have to do this. It’s time.” He said, staring at all the boxes. “I just don’t even know where to begin.”

“How about one box at a time?” Axel replied, rubbing his back soothingly.

With a nod, Roxas reached up for the topmost box on the left but was too short, his fingertips brushing cardboard but not getting a good grip. Without a word, Axel came up behind him and gently lifted it down. Roxas felt his heart warm at the action. When he turned around, Axel was already cutting through the tape.  _ Did he bring his own knife? _

“So, this Ansem guy. Is he serious about reinvesting?”

“Yeah, apparently he was our largest silent investor at a point,” Roxas replied, peering inside the box. “I left all that kind of stuff to Hay, but I vaguely remember what he’d committed to - and have it on record from when I had the lawyers give him back his money.” Roxas sighed. It held odds and ends, a couple of books, a few picture frames (only some of which held pictures, but he avoided looking to see which), and a bag of seashells. Roxas gently ran his fingers over the shells. “We collected these,” he whispered, just loud enough for Axel to hear, “all in a single day. I still remember how excited Hayner was when he’d found the one that looked like a small conch.” Roxas closed his eyes and for a moment could picture Hayner on the beach, sun in his hair and happiness on his face as he ran up towards Roxas.  _ That was how he wanted to remember Hay.  _

“Do you want to tell me about him?” Axel's voice filled the small storage room. 

Roxas nodded. And so it went, the pile of stories built up as the boxes came down, until at last they exhumed an old filing cabinet. Despite the physical and emotional exhaustion, he smiled. Then came the tears, which fell silently and freely down his face as Axel held him. It had been hard, especially when he’d gotten to the story of how he’d found Hayner, but worth it. Beyond the tears, or perhaps in spite of them, he felt oddly calm inside, like he was doing the exact right thing, having everything slide into place for his life to make some semblance of sense.

“What do you say we go home and make some chocolate pudding?” Axel asked when Roxas finally calmed. 

Roxas nodded and allowed himself to be led from the storage unit - the cabinet could wait now that he’d found it. It held everything they’d ever printed out when building KeyChat the first time: every contract, every investor, every idea, their five and ten year roadmaps. But it would only be a starting point if he was really going to do this. He would have to update everything. Almost begin again from scratch. Things would have to change. 

_ Just like they already had.  _

But he had a starting point. Grabbing all the files he could carry and putting them into a spare empty box, Roxas resolved to read through everything and really try this time. And if he happened to have a breakdown along the way? Well, it didn’t seem so unbearable anymore.

The trip home was uneventful, even with the box, which Axel insisted on carrying for at least half the journey. The sun was low in the sky and the colors lit up the world, filling Roxas with a renewed sense of purpose and hope. 

It was later, when Roxas sat on his couch looking around at his shabby apartment and eating warm pudding fresh from the pot that Axel had made, that it hit him like a train on a track. 

“Let's move in together.”

“What, baby?” Axel's green eyes snapped up to look at him. 

“I’m serious,” Roxas said, setting the pot down and crawling in between Axel’s legs, cupping his face in his hands. He stroked his boyfriend’s cheek softly, the fire under his fingers slowly building. “Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday. Will you? Do you want to?”

Roxas held his breath but he needn’t have worried as Axel's green eyes blinked up at him, first with confusion and then hope, before they settled on that look that spoke of love. “I’ve never had my own place before,” Axel said, his voice sounding amazed. 

“It would be our place,” Roxas gently corrected. 

“Our place,” Axel repeated, looking like he was forming the words deliberately before he leaned forward and captured Roxas’ lips in a kiss that stole his heart. 

“Is that a yes?” Roxas asked with a grin when he finally pulled back 

Axel nodded. “With you? Anywhere.”

Roxas leapt forward, feeling very much like his old self, and wrapped Axel up in a hug as he felt the taller man kiss the top of his head, sealing the deal.

* * *

**Six Months Later**

“Wait, wait! So tell me the story again?” Axel laughed, nearly choking on a cookie, which Kairi had made for everyone in the office to snack on. They were to die for.

“I was there and I still can’t believe it!” Demyx laughed, taking a bite of his own cookie. “You should have seen the look on Larxene’s face. We hadn’t even told Roxas if he’d gotten the job yet and he just quit!”

“I did it nicer than that!” Roxas protested before looking pointedly at Axel. “And I had told you what my plan was that day.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t tell me that Larxene looked like she’d swallowed a fly!” Axel said with more laughter. 

“No,” Roxas conceded with a smile. “I never got to that point. You were so interested in celebratory se- desserts!” He exclaimed, taking a bite of cookie. 

“Oh c‘mon, Roxas!” Xion nudged him from the side before grabbing a cookie for herself. “We all know celebratory sex is Axel’s specialty.”

“We did not and T-M-I!” Demyx called out, grabbing his phone. “I’m texting Zexion to grab a pizza, since we’re working late tonight on those bugs for beta version 3.56.”

“Point five six?” Xion asked. 

“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” Roxas told her, shaking his head. “Not unless you’re going to become a permanent member of the team.” He was only teasing though - Xion had said repeatedly she wasn’t ready to leave her own business just yet, being one to help lead the charge in setting health and safety standard for the legal sex industry, and Roxas had reassured her she would have a place here if she ever felt like she would. 

“Besides, by the time they get around to it, you’ll be back at the brothel,” Axel added with a smile.

“I know. I only stopped by to say hi to Naminé,” Xion said, opening the fridge and pulling out a bottle of sparkling water. 

“And to steal our drinks,” Roxas teased. 

“Well you have to be good for something,” Xion shot back, cracking open the bottle and taking a sip. 

“Speaking of good for things,” Sora said as he rounded the corner, “I’m useless and I need more sugar. Kairi says there’s still cookies left.”

“Oh, no you don’t!”

Roxas stepped back and watched his team, letting their voices fade into the background. It felt right, completely natural, to stand here and watch them all chat. He only wished Hayner could have lived to see the day.

He was brought back to the moment when he felt Axel's arm snake around his waist, his friends and employees somehow leaving them as the only two in the office kitchen.

“You’re amazing,” Axel said, and Roxas felt his insides erupt with flame.

“Me? That’s you! Just look at everything you’ve done for our friends. It’s because of you I’m friends with Pence and Olette again! You got Xion together with Naminé. You reunited me with Ven! None of that would have happened, or even been possible, without you.” Roxas praised with a smile. “And look at all you’ve done for me. Loving me-”

“I didn’t do much of anything, sweet cheeks,” Axel said, with a soft smile. “And how is Ven?”

“He’s good, last I heard they were playing a sold-out show in London. But don’t change the subject.” 

Axel smiled sheepishly. 

“Take the credit,” Roxas said softly with conviction, pressing closer, “because you’ve done  _ everything _ for me. You have changed my life. I wouldn’t be standing here without you.”

“Oh, babe.” Axel’s voice was soft, his eyes bright.

“I’m serious. Before I met you, none of this would have been possible. I was damaged. Broken. So low I couldn’t see how deep down I was.” Axel cupped his face and looked deep into his eyes. Roxas felt himself melt under his hypnotic green gaze. “But you—” Roxas swallowed and licked his lips, forcing himself to look up into Axel’s eyes. “You _saw_ me. You were brave, and caring, and healing. You didn’t fix me, but you helped _heal_ me. And I love you so much.”

Axel captured his lips in a raw, searing kiss that Roxas felt down to his toes. Even now kissing Axel could still feel like it was the first time they had - raw, needy, open, hot, and pleading, while also being calming, grounding, and warm. Roxas melted into it.

“I love you too,” Axel said, when they pulled away.

Roxas snuggled into his chest feeling the heat surround him. It was all he needed, he thought. No matter what else came his way, if he could come home to this for the rest of his life he’d be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🔥🔥🔥  
> We have reached the end of Roxas' journey. It's a wonderful bittersweet moment for me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a part of it and coming along this ride. 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are love ♥️ 
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](https://micheleblack.tumblr.com/)


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